And just like that his sexy night was foiled. Izaya sighed sadly but then his phone rang just as he was about to take the lift and sure enough it was Namie.
"And if I happen to find as much as a single bug there will be consequences, Orihara Izaya."
He sighed anew but smiled. Namie only used his full name when she was even more serious than usual. Izaya could hardly wait to see what Namie had planned for their next date. At home he checked his daily planner to see just how much quality time he was spending with Namie and decided to plan a few unnecessary tasks for her to fill the quota that he had decided was required.
The therapist was beyond surprised when Izaya summoned him to his apartment in the middle of the night. Izaya explained how the date had gone South and seemed rather discouraged. But not for long.
"Still, there is no need to despair. My surveillance network may be gone but I still have hour upon hour of Yagiri Namie footage to watch at my leisure. Of course, after all the trouble I went to actually bug the place it is tragic that no longer will I have my 200 angles of camera work but in the long run this may be for the best. That way I can have a word in private with you."
The therapist was escorted to Izaya's bedroom where sure enough there was a wide high resolution flat screen right next to bed.
"Did you say 200, Orihara-san...?"
"Yes. A great loss like I said but see this screen? I play footage of Namie sleeping in here so that it seems as if she is right by my side. Unfortunately Namie is not too fond of sleeping next to me, not even after sex. It breaks my heart."
And Izaya faked a sob. The therapist did not even know what to say but Izaya saved him the trouble by guiding him to the living room and opening a laptop.
"Doc, I think that the priority now is to get Namie to lose her semen phobia. I suspect it is a form of androphobia. Now, I've done some research on the subject and have assorted a few works by experts. I expect you to study them."
Izaya handed him a USB. The therapist took it and wondered if Orihara-san simply could not help being a handful even when the idea was to be helpful.
"Orihara-san, you should let the professionals handle the therapy aspect."
"Reading loud and clear. It's just that it'll be awkward when the wedding night rolls by. Know what I mean?"
"You should take it one step at a time. I don't think Yagiri-san is ready to take such a step and your relationship is not yet stable enough for marriage."
And the therapist doubted it would ever be.
"No worries, doc. I trust your skills. And of course, if you fail, I can't assure that you won't end up at the bottom of Tokyo Bay."
Izaya's smile was a bit too friendly.
"Orihara-san...?"
"Just kidding, just kidding."
But the therapist had his doubts.
In between dates the therapist decided to meet Kida-kun since he had been mentioned and apparently worked closely with both Yagiri-san and Orihara-san.
"Kida-kun, can you tell me about your employer and Yagiri-san?"
Kida looked left, then right, then left again. The therapist expected someone considerably older.
"Is Orihara-san seeing this? He is, isn't he?"
"No, I haven't told him I'm meeting you."
Kida looked around again and conducted the therapist to a busy place in Ikebukuro, part of the area that Shizuo had decided to be 'flea free'.
"You say you're a couple therapist? Oh boy, you're so screwed. Izaya and Namie are both crazy. I'm not even sure which one is crazier."
"What do you mean by 'crazy'?"
"I mean, 'Kida-kun if you do as much as look at my woman funny you are fish bait' crazy, that's what I mean! But she's just as bad! Working for her is hell on Earth."
"I thought that you worked for Orihara-san?"
"And I do. Officially. In reality I work for both of them, they're the bosses. It doesn't matter what happens, he'll always take Namie's side. If she poured acid on me he'd probably be all for. That's the kind of man he is."
"So would you say that they are close?"
"When it comes to screwing me over? Yes, as close as it gets."