Disclaimer:….really? would I need to put a disclaimer on my own work?
-hits. Head. On. Desk- I am so STUPID. I can't believe I haven't updated this in over a YEAR. –shoots self in foot- And I must say that I was a very stupid child. Jesus. The story thus far has been SO DRAMATIC and OVEREMOTIONAL. Hell, HOW many times did I have to make Fay cry? And HOW many times did I have to cut/wound Kurogane? Gods, I know they're AU, but DAMN grow a backbone and learn to defend yourself. (though actually now that I've started this trend I can't stop it now Dl fail)
I'm happy that you all are (if still) interested in this poor excuse for a story, but man, I'm tempted to just say it's dead. BUT I REFUSE. I will try to end it with a happy note! I've been trying to think of things that would make it interesting again, and hopefully I'll be able to get it all down on paper before the week is out. OTL School is slowly killing me. And I mean that. I've been so sick for the past two weeks it's not even funny. SO. I'm going to try to not disappoint my readers (and myself orz) any longer and pull this out of my… left ear hurhur –shot again-
And btw, over the past year my spelling has changed. It is now Fay instead of Fai. Gomen nasai, but I'll follow CLAMP's example.
Without further adieu (because it seems to be my saying for this story harhar)…
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Fay rolled over with a shiver, looking about the cave with weary eyes. He sat up in a haze, surprised that he for once didn't have that reoccurring nightmare. He paused in rubbing his eye. Wait, he thought, snapping out of his morning drowsiness. Kuro-chu was sick in my dream right? What could that mean? And then the chain… and that horrible man… What does that mean?
He was shaken from his thoughts by the sound of Mokona coughing. He turned and looked over to the girl with a frown, seeing her quivering against the stone floor. Slipping away from his still sleeping lover and getting dressed really quickly, he moved over to the children to see that they were all shivering. Worry pulsed through his heart and he moved to stand. He wished he hadn't, for as soon as he did pain shot through his spine from his rear along with wooziness from what he assumed was a side effect of the outburst of magic the previous day, and he almost fell over. He managed to catch himself by placing his hand on the wall of the cave, gasping lightly for air to make the pain subside.
Blue eyes danced shakily up to the tattooed man in hopes that he hadn't awoken him, and found that red eyes were still closed. He sighed lightly and crawled over to him, planting a gentle kiss on the sleeping figure's face. A smile graced his own as well as a faded tint of blush, remembering the night before. He felt his heart flutter when he recalled the kisses they shared, and he had to calm his breathing when he went through their lovemaking again. He had never felt something so… purely magical, and he was a magician, so that meant a lot.
He pulled away from his thoughts and the taller man to reach for a spare blanket, though he didn't get very far. In smooching the Indian's face, he had disturbed him, and Kurogane's arms shot out and pulled the pale one to his chest, making Fay lose his balance and fall on him. The younger blushed lightly and gave him a cynical but playful look.
"Kuro-min, you like startling me in the mornings don't you?" He asked teasingly. The other smirked lightly and reached his head up to kiss his new lover. Blue eyes darted to the children in hopes they wouldn't see, but it didn't seem to matter to the taller man. Kurogane pulled away soon after their lips had met with equal force, lying back down into the snug bearskin.
"What are you doing up, White One?" He asked lowly as he stroked blonde hair out of Fay's face. The expression on the pale features suddenly sank when Fay remembered what he had been doing, and he looked over to the kids yet again.
"They're shivering… I was going to give them a blanket…" He replied softly, not wanting to disturb them. Cerulean returned to ruby as the magician continued to frown.
"They're getting worse… I fear if we don't pamper them properly… I don't think they're going to…" Fay tried to explain, seeing the confused look on Kurogane's still tired façade. The Indian sat up with the blonde still on him, looking over to the kids.
"That illness… you said it was from your people?" He said darkly, and Fay bit his lip in silence. Kurogane brought his attention back to his lover and saw he was trying to think of an excuse.
"Do not lie to me." He grumbled with a slight scowl.
"It's not something that people die from where I come from but… I don't know if your people… if the children can withstand it. I don't know if I can treat them properly with what I know…" Fay said with a pleading look to his lover. Kurogane clenched his jaw and looked to the children again. He hesitated for a moment before pulling away from the pale skinned one to stand.
"I didn't look forward to this option, but if we have no choice…" He said sullenly, going over to the still sleeping ones. Fay sat up in alarm.
"What is it?"
"It will take a day's walk to get there, but… there is another tribe where we can seek refuge… I can only hope your people didn't come to make them slaves too." Kurogane said as he knelt by the albino child. Fay's eyes widened when he heard the other elaborate, but he turned to grab the blanket he was trying to get earlier so he could at least keep them from shivering. He once again moved to stand, letting out a small groan when the pain became too much and he had to give in and fall. The taller looked over to him and felt his eyes widen.
"Blue eyes!?"
"Ehehe… it's fine… I'm… just a little sore from yesterday…" Fay said through a feeble smile, looking over his shoulder to smile at Kurogane. The dark haired man sighed and stood up again, going over to him to inspect. Fay merely held out the blanket.
"Please… they need to stay warm… I'll be healed sooner than they will." Fay said with a smile, although his eyes radiated seriousness. Red pupils grazed over his expression and Kurogane relented with a sigh. Taking the blanket, the dethroned Indian walked over to the children to bundle them up. Fay watched him with weary eyes, riding out the dull pain caused by numerous things.
"That magic of yours…" Fay heard the other say, and he perked up to listen.
"…it healed all my wounds the moment you shined the brightest…" Kurogane slowly looked over to the other once he was done making sure they would stop shivering.
"Why do you not offer to heal the children too?"
Fay looked down with a sad smile.
"I told you, Kuro-pippi… I can't control it… this magic's…" He trailed off, remembering what the taller said last night about calling himself dangerous.
"This magic isn't something that I can use at my own will… I haven't learned how to use it properly…"
"That man I killed said you were a magician… did you not learn how to use magic in your own land, and only flaunt the title?" The tone of his words came out harsher than he had intended, and Fay visibly slumped from them.
"…It's not like I don't want to help…" He said hollowly. Kurogane continued to frown, realizing he had done more harm than good. Getting up for the countless time, he walked over to Fay and knelt in front of him. Sticking his finger underneath the pointed chin, he brought the pale face up so they would see eye to eye. They stared at each other, at first curiously, then it became more intense. It was like they were trying to figure each other out. Kurogane was seeking knowledge at the same time he was displaying it and Fay was just searching for anything he could grasp for his own. Understanding dawned on his face, and the blonde gave in.
He squeezed his eyes shut and lurched forward, wrapping his arms around the taller man's shoulders tightly.
"Kuro-muu!" He whimpered, snuggling his nose into the tanned skin.
"Kuro-muu, I want to help… I want to… but… I'm afraid it'll be too much and bring danger to them…" He rambled into the other's shoulder, while Kurogane merely snaked his arms around the smaller man's body in silence.
"But if we don't get them help soon something bad will happen to them…"
"They will have to stay here." Kurogane finally muttered, making Fay pull away. He had managed to keep in his tears this time, though now his blue eyes glistened with them.
"W…What? Why?"
"I have seen that you are in pain." The once proud prince of the tribe said with a frown. "You cannot walk to the next village, let alone to outside the cave."
"I-I can try if they-"
"You can't and you know it." The other cut him off, even though his and rubbed circles soothingly into the pale back. Fay's eyes drooped slightly, reminded of when the taller man had worked out the kink in his side.
"Hn… Kuro-rin… but if we don't…"
"It's fine…"
"But…" Kurogane sighed when Fay wouldn't let up and stopped him from talking with a kiss. The foreigner melted into rough lips and tightened his grip around Kurogane's neck, seeking refuge in his arms and taste. But… if we don't heal them soon… it will be my fault… Fay couldn't help but think.
And all of a sudden, his dream made perfect sense.
He pulled away from Kurogane with a shocked expression, his eyes searching through his thoughts on the stone floor as if he were watching thousands of roaches scampering about. Kurogane raised an eyebrow at this.
"What is it?"
"My nightmare… the dream I've been having over and over… I understand it…" He looked at Kurogane with a painful expression, while the other reflected the pervious shock. Fay had told him about his horrid dream in detail, but to interpret it was power equal to a shaman on the island.
"When you have that illness… and on your hand… and the coughing… it's the disease I bring to the people here… your people… that's why you… and then…the chain…" He felt his eyes watered again and he squeezed his eyes shut. If only he would've figured it out sooner!
"Oh Kuro-bi, I saw it all happen before it actually did! It's my fault that your village was taken!"
"…I don't understand…" Kurogane muttered slowly, and Fay slipped his arms down to hold the taller man's biceps, shaking the other in his grip lightly.
"Don't you see?! The chain around your throat, it was the enslavement of your people! I saw that! I knew all along but didn't understand it!" He whimpered as the tears couldn't stay hidden any longer.
"It all makes sense! When I see us h-happy together in the beginning; it's almost like a dream come true! Because it's what I want! I want us to be happy together so much!" He confessed, bowing his head as he slowly lost control of his emotions. Kurogane frowned deeper, only able to listen and try to comfort the smaller as he figured it out himself.
"A-and when you get ill… it's showing my influence on you… on your home… the coughing and the bumps… you were so pale… I did that to you, I lead the evil influence to you and your people… the chain and the man holding it… they enslaved your people… my people did this to you… a-and then…" He paused for a moment as the last part of his dream played out into his memory. Finally he broke down with a sob and covered his face.
"A-and… you'll… you'll hate me… for it… you'll kill me…" He moaned in agony. It was the last straw for Kurogane.
Picking Fay up easily, he carried the still nude man out of the cave while he still wept on his shoulder. Fay didn't realize they were out of the darkness until he heard birds chirping a few feet above his head as they neared the lake for the second time in the blonde's stay there. Blue eyes looked around in a haze as he quieted his sniffling out of curiosity.
"W…What…?" He hiccupped, but the Indian didn't reply this time. Instead, he merely set Fay down in the shallow water, sitting on the shoreline with him. The tanned one leaned down and planted a firm kiss on Fay's lips, and the smaller returned it wholeheartedly. They sat in a liplock for a moment before Kurogane pulled away to wipe Fay's tears away.
"Listen to me good." He commanded, and the lithe man nodded softly.
"My people always believe dreams are the gifts of foresight from the Great Spirit." He began, and Fay looked like he was going to burst out in tears again. Kurogane stopped him by elaborating.
"You must always follow the dream, or things won't go well for those around you, that's what my mother always said… now listen to me. I believe that your dream might have been given to you by the Great Spirit…" He reached forward to wipe another tear from Fay's face as it fell. "…Since you are my 'angel'."
The blonde bowed his head. "I am no angel Kuro-chi…"
"What makes you say that?"
"I'm… I've killed… a lot of people…"
"They who died on my village-"
"Not them!" Fay retorted sharply, looking at Kurogane with a glare. It shocked the taller into silence. The blonde brought his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on them, fisting his hands in the water.
"I've killed so many people…by the command of my king… and I did it… with a smile on my face… I wanted to… to make him happy…"
Again, Fay's face was lifted out of the darkness to face Kurogane. The blonde saw anger in his eyes this time.
"Your smile is not always real." He snapped, making Fay flinch.
"You think you cause all badness to happen. You think everything is your fault. Because some of it is, all of a sudden, you can do no good. You can't make the children smile, you can't make this a broken family, you can't make my heart pound harshly, you can't call me silly names to make you smile, you can't do any of that."
Fay felt something inside him scream in agony at listening to the taller. What was he trying to get at here? It felt so… painful, to hear his subconscious thoughts coming from the other man's lips. Kurogane's expression softened then.
"But you're wrong. Without thought, you do all of that. I have seen your smile in all shapes. I have hated most of them." His hand on the blonde's chin loosened and slipped to cradle the pale cheek.
"But the ones I see when you talk to my siblings remaining… the ones I see when you talk to me about us… the ones I saw last night… they are nothing compared to the ones I saw and see whenever you say something about your past. You are happy now, and that is all that matters to me." Fay's grip loosened on the dirt in the shallow water, not expecting any of this.
"And if you think I will kill my most important person because I am angry at them, you are sorely mistaken." Kurogane smiled calmly, seeing that the other was speechless. As his words seeped in, Fay's eyes watered for the numberless time and he sobbed freely and without sound. A sudden smile broke out onto his lips and he uncurled from his ball, lifting his wet hand to hold onto Kurogane's. Closing blue eyes he felt his body rack.
"I…I am happy…" He whispered, nuzzling into the rough skin. Kurogane watched him with a serene expression, seeing that his tears were falling into the water. He blinked.
"…White one…" He muttered, watching the ripples. Fay opened his eyes and looked at where Kurogane was. He blinked as well when he saw that his skin was glowing. Not only that, but whenever his tear would fall into the water, the ripples would be multicolored of shades of blue, green, and yellow.
"I-I… this… this is something that's never happened before…" Fay said, looking at his hands with a small smile. His skin was beautiful, like what it had been yesterday, only a tinier tint. He couldn't stop himself from crying, and the lake slowly began to glow in the different colors as a whole. Fay smiled sadly in amazement, not understanding.
But as soon as he had the thought of it being dangerous, his skin dimmed. Kurogane watched as he bowed his head and the light completely faded. Fay didn't open his eyes, but he could tell the other was frowning.
"I'm sorry… I don't know what happened…" He said in a soft voice, making Kurogane growl lightly.
"It wasn't something bad." He muttered, and Fay looked to him with a gentle smile.
"How do you know that?" The other rolled his eyes and reached forward to place his hand back on Fay's cheek.
"I was touching you when you began to shine like a star again. I wasn't hurt… in fact… I felt calm…" He tenderly stroked the once again normally pale skin with his thumb.
"I have never felt something like it…" Kurogane said, and Fay smiled sadly.
"But… the water…" He had since stopped crying, and the water had stopped shining as well. Kurogane frowned again and he pulled his hand away from the blonde.
"I'll show you it's not bad." He said stiffly, sinking his hand into the water. They were both taken aback to see his skin glow briefly. As the light went up his arm it dissolved, vanishing completely around his elbow. He waited a moment and shuddered as this feeling of euphoria raked over every nerve in his body. Fay watched him in surprise when he saw the gentle expression take over his face, ruby eyes closing with a delicate, rare smile.
"I told you nothing bad happened." He said simply, removing his hand to see that it was normal, just wet.
"It feels like your aura polluted the lake…" Darker eyes looked over to blue and Fay blushed.
"…Meaning?"
"You've cleansed the lake. Only a shaman can do that here. You have powerful magic." Kurogane said, making Fay blush even more.
"A-are… are you saying I'm as powerful as a shaman here?" He said slowly, and Kurogane nodded.
"Magic of purification is a delicate magic. Since you weren't trained in it on your land, I can guess you don't know about it?" The other asked and Fay looked down ashamedly.
"The only magic I learned how to use even a little was attack magic… I can't heal or anything like that whenever I feel like it…" Fay blinked and looked down, seeing Kurogane's hand lying on his own. He looked up curiously and saw an understanding look on the other man's face.
"Do not be so depressed. I told you I would teach you, did I not?" He said simply, and the blonde blushed again. When he nodded Kurogane looked back to the lake.
"Magic of purification was usually done by the witch that healed you the second day you were here. And afterward she would be so tired I or my father had to carry her back to her home. It isn't a power to be depressed over, it is a power to be proud of." Kurogane looked at his lover again and saw Fay staring at the lake as he listened intently. His grip returned the tan one slowly to let him know he was paying attention.
"When you purified the lake, you didn't seem tired. It must mean you have more power than the witch did." Kurogane continued, and the blonde turned in surprise to him.
"W-what? H-how… but…"
"It isn't surprising when I saw it happen." Kurogane shrugged. Fay looked back down to the water that he was sitting in and stared, seeing it looked the exact same. To him it didn't feel any different than when Kurogane brought him there. He moved his free hand over the surface of the water and watched his shadow dance in the ripples as it would in any water source.
"What does… that woman… what did she do by purifying the water?"
"It was used as our healing waters… and on some occasion it was used for lovers who didn't receive children." He looked down to the spot where they had made love with a slight frown.
"That was for a man and a woman pair though." Kurogane felt blue eyes on him again and he turned to meet them. Fay was blushing deeply.
"Y-you… i-it's for ch-children?"
"You worry too much. You won't have a child."
"B-but still…" Fay looked to the water again with a frown, images invading his mind of a child that would never exist. He shook his head and patted his cheek with his hand to calm his blushing.
"N-nevermind…" He stopped himself, going over Kurogane's words again in his mind.
"W-wait… you said it was used for healing too?" He said while turning to his lover. Kurogane opened his mouth to speak but caught onto what Fay was thinking. The blonde looked down to himself. He had been extremely sore from their activities the night before. He wondered if he was ok to stand now that he had been sitting in the water…
Kurogane rose their joined hands out of the water at Fay moved to stand. He lifted himself delicately, in hopes of not being in any pain. He managed to make it to his knees, blushing as he was openly exposed for all onlookers to see, but he didn't mind too much anymore since it was just Kurogane with him. He supported himself against his partner in case it really hadn't worked, and stood completely out of the water.
The red eyed man smiled slightly when Fay looked in shock to the lake. The magic really had worked. He blushed lightly and smiled brightly, looking at Kurogane's chest.
"I…. I-I… I used… magic… a-and it… didn't hurt anyone…" He looked up to the Indian and smiled wider.
"I used magic and it didn't hurt anyone!" He repeated while Kurogane just nodded. The taller stumbled lightly when Fay jumped on him with a kiss, wrapping his arms tightly around the thicker neck. Kurogane chuckled passed the pale lips and returned the gesture, content with Fay finally learning that could do good as well as bad.
It wasn't until the blonde pulled away for air did they part. Kurogane watched as the magician gasped through his grin, pale fingers threaded through black spikes. The darker skinned one hesitated before looking down the hill.
"Would… this magic possibly heal the kids?" He asked shallowly, and Fay's smile faded lightly. He followed the other man's gaze down to the cave and he mulled over the idea.
"I've never used this type of magic… it might…"
"Can you walk?"
"It wouldn't hurt my feelings if Kuro-min carried me~"
"You are a lazy person."
Fay giggled as he was swept off his feet quite literally and he kept his arms around the taller man's neck. Carrying the blonde down the hill for the second time, Kurogane walked into the cave easily. They both saw that the children were still snug in the covers, this time it was Sakura coughing. Fay frowned as a ping of guilt ricocheted around his heart and he allowed Kurogane to set him down on their own bearskin.
While Fay dressed himself, Kurogane plucked up the boy to inspect his sickness. He saw he was sweating now, and his cheeks and nose were red. The man sighed when the boy nuzzled into his arm and chest, obviously not feeling well. He looked over his shoulder and saw Fay fingering his necklace. In the midst of everything, they had both forgotten their fragments of jewelry. Nothing had happened when they joined together as one the night before, so he figured Fay was just as clueless about the riddle as he was.
Blue eyes looked over and he smiled sadly before getting up, taking tentative steps over to them. He was slightly stunned that he could move so freely without. The power really had worked.
"We will bathe the children in the lake. Maybe that will heal them." Kurogane said softly, moving sweaty bangs out of the albino child's eyes. Fay lifted the other girl into his arms and she coughed from the change in positions. He felt the ping hit his heart harder and he hugged the girl tightly, squeezing his eyes tightly in guilt.
"I swear… I'll make everything better…" He whispered into her tiny shoulder, and Kurogane watched him with a frown. Lifting the second girl into his free arm, he stood and flicked his head.
"Come. The sooner we do this the better." Fay nodded and stood as well, but not before flinging the bearskin on his shoulder so the children had something to wrap up in when they were done. Kurogane led the way out of the cave but stopped dead. Fay followed him and looked at him curiously.
"Kuro-myu?" He questioned softly, but Kurogane merely stared ahead of him. Fay followed his vision and felt his stomach flip. There was a small group of people standing among the trees a couple yards away, decorated in what Fay assumed was hunting attire. One with rough black hair was out front, and he was looking at Kurogane expectantly. He lowered his eyes to the children in his arms and they widened in surprise.
Fay flinched when he saw the men and he subconsciously moved to hide behind the taller man. The movement was caught by the man in front and he frowned deeper. Raising his spear he pointed at Fay and the girl he held.
"You, outsider. Hand over my sister."
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UGH. 3 days. 3 DAYS to write this. I think I have fallen in love with it again, albeit only a little. Gomen nasai for the writing style change, but it has been a while since I worked on it. Thank you readers for putting up with my incompetence. Hopefully the length of this chapter will make up for it. OTL
I'm still thinking of what to write next, so maybe a couple more chapters depending on how long my enthusiasm and creativity walk hand in hand. Damn school and its restrictions.
But at least Fay crying has been put to good use –laughs-