Hello again. I'm bored out of my skull, so I hope you like this. There, I have nothing else to say.
Training Montage - Day 14
"Alright now," Began Isane. "You've gotten Flash Steps, high speed combat, and healing kido down."
"Don't forget the training I've already gotten in other kido during my down time - which I had quite a bit of in the hospital - and smooth-talking you into giving me a shot." Smirked Kaito.
"Right." Agreed a blushing Isane awkwardly. "So all that's left on your list now is to learn your Shikai. And given how much trouble that's given you over the years..."
"I will not be having an easy time with this." Finished Kaito.
"Do you have any idea what could be causing you problems with conversing with your Zanpakuto?" Questioned Isane.
"Well, when I was traumatized by Retsu - no offense - I remember seeing a giant snake going through extreme torture." Answered Kaito thoughtfully.
"Why would that have anything to do with it?" Wondered Isane. "That may have been your Zanpakuto. But you've been having this problem for years, and Unohana-taicho only hurt you a few weeks ago."
"It doesn't have anything to do with it," Kaito shook his head. "But what the giant snake said has plenty to do with it. Based on his words, he was apparently deliberately giving me the silent treatment for years."
"Why would a Zanpakuto withhold their power from their wielder on purpose?" Pondered Isane. "If there's a problem with communication between the two, it's usually the wielder's fault."
"I have absolutely no fucking clue." Grumbled Kaito. "But the little bastard said he'd stop holding back when I saw him getting what he deserved for holding out on me."
"Don't say things like that about your own Zanpakuto!" Outburst Isane, startling Kaito before she calmed down. "A Shinigami is supposed to work together with their Zanpakuto. They should never wish anything bad to happen to each other, and they certainly shouldn't be glad when it happens."
"You sound like you really know what you're talking about." Complimented Kaito.
"Well, I do get along pretty well with my Zanpakuto." Said Isane, a slight blush tinting her cheeks. "It's pretty much a requirement for getting so far in the Gotei 13. The better you get along with your Zanpakuto, the stronger both of you will be."
"And yet, I outmatch you after just two extra weeks of training, and I've never even said two words to my Zanpakuto." Grinned a very cheeky looking Kaito.
A tick-mark appeared on Isane's forehead. "I don't recall you ever beating me in any of our fights." She insisted irritably.
"Well maybe I oughta start right now!" Fumed Kaito hotly as he grabbed his Zanpakuto.
"Let's see if you can." Isane challenged as she grabbed her own Zanpakuto. "Just be warned, I've never used my Shikai on you until now. Run! Itegumo!" She called as her Zanpakuto split at the guard to form three blades on one sword.
Training Montage - 4 Hours Later
Isane was panting heavily, and had a few burns, several cuts, and a few bruises. But she was glad that she had finally beaten Kaito once more. Looking down at his unconscious, partially frozen body, Isane had only one thing on her mind. 'I've never seen kido used like that before! He was using Bakudo offensively for crying out loud! He should be signing up for the Kido Corps, not the Gotei 13! I was barely able to win, even with my Shikai!' Silently, she contemplated reporting Kaito's obvious aptitude for kido to Yamamoto-sotaicho, and recommending that he be placed in the Kido Corps immediately, but placed such thoughts aside for the moment.
'It's really not my place to be telling him where to go.' Thought Isane. 'He's been forced to change a lot about his lifestyle already, and even though part of me would be glad to have him gone, the rest of me just can't do it. I'll tell him about the Kido Corps when he wakes up and let him make the call.'
Kaito's Inner World - Same Time
Kaito's head was aching. Last thing he remembered was getting into a fight with Isane, getting frozen by her Shikai, and now he had a headache. "Oh wait, I've caught up to the present." Kaito realized.
"No shit, genius!" Barked Kaito's own voice, but sounding very annoyed.
"Now, now. There's no need to get so riled up over such business." Came a much calmer version of his voice.
"Hey, look! It's nut job in surround sound." Said an excited, though also slightly crazy sounding, version of his voice.
"Will you weird voices in my head just leave me alone?" Pleaded Kaito.
"We're not in your head, dipshit!" Barked the annoyed voice again, but this time he sounded downright angry.
"Please try to be a bit more civil with our self. This will likely be quite a lot for him to take in." Said the calm voice.
"Open your eyes already!" Demanded the crazy voice. "I wanna see your reaction to us, and so do the readers!"
Straining to open his eyes and get himself upright as the angry voice demanded of the crazy voice stop his crazy talk about readers and how this was all fictional, Kaito noticed, to no surprise whatsoever, that three versions of himself were standing before him.
The angry one was tinted various shades of red in color, and had his triangle shades on as his only eyepiece. The calm one was tinted various shades of blue in color, and had his monocle on as his only eyepiece. While the crazy one-
"-Is totally grey in color, and had his 3D goggles on as his only eyepiece!" Said the crazy one, finishing the narration. "Yet for some reason, the 3D goggles were still blue and red."
"Who the hell are you talking to, Crazy!" Demanded the red one.
"I implore you to reign your temper in better, Red." Pleaded the blue one. "You can't expect us to win over Retsu with an attitude like that."
"Shut the hell up, Blue!" Rebutted Red. "Women appreciate men of a colorful character!"
"That's right." Agreed Crazy. "And we sure are a bunch of colorful characters. Ah ha ha ha ha ha! I made a funny!"
"I'll turn your head into a funny if you don't shut the hell up!" Demanded Red.
"Not that this isn't completely hilarious," Interjected Kaito. "But would someone mind explaining what exactly is going on here? I get the general idea about who you three are, but the specifics of where I am, and how you three have bodies of your own escape me."
"He does have a point, as I've tried to mention several times now." Said Blue in an 'I'm-better-than-all-of-you' tone.
"You got something to say, Blue, soon to be Black-and-Blue?" Growled Red as he rolled up his sleeves.
"Red vs. Blue! The ultimate internet meme come to life!" Crazy cheered. "Now all I need is a monkey with a beard who can draw manga with his feet, and a three-way with Retsu and Isane, and all my dreams will have come true! I could go on all day, but the writer likes to keep each chapter around 5,000 words in length, and we have a fight scene coming up, so let's move on, shall we?"
"Shut-up about that! We are not characters in some story!" Barked Red.
"Enough!" Came several very loud voices from all around. "Will you all focus on the task at hand here?"
"Great, damaged eardrums. Just what I needed." Muttered Kaito sarcastically as he turned around, seeing snake heads all around him, eight in total. "Don't you think you have too many heads? I seem to recall my Zanpakuto being a giant one headed snake, not Yamata no Orochi."
"How did he know our name?" "How did he know we were his Zanpakuto?" "Who told him our name?" "How did he know what we use to look like?" "All of you, shut-up!" One head cut through the voices of all of the rest. "We'll never be able to accomplish anything if all you seven can do is be stupid! Now I'll try to sort through everything with him, but you'll all have to be quite while I'm doing this. Do you all understand?" There were several mumbles of reluctant agreement, and then silence.
"Now then," Began the head that had taken charge as it took a more regal stance. "You'll have to forgive the rest of these idiots. So many of them sprouted up at once, they're all rather stupid, and it's quite a task to get them all to focus on one thing." Their were several groans of complaints from the other heads.
"No problem, really." Shrugged Kaito. "I get that they're all stupid, but I wanna know why you aren't."
"I was here first." Said the smart head proudly. "And then you had to go and upset the wrong person, and these idiots showed up." More complaints from the other heads, including a few who couldn't follow what was happening.
"Roses are red. Violets are blue. We have Split Personalities. No we don't, we have Dissociative Identity Disorder. Make up your mind about what we have already! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" Cut in Crazy. "Will you cut that out! The readers can't follow any of this!"
"Shut-up!" Demanded Red, as he and Blue both clamped Crazy's mouth shut. "Even if we did have anybody reading about us, I believe that they can piece together everything on their own." Added Blue.
"Well..." Began Yamata no Orochi hesitantly. "Disregarding those three, I think that we'd better establish a few things first."
"Like how I knew your name was Yamata no Orochi before you even had a chance to tell me?" Ventured Kaito.
"Well, yes. There's that." Nodded several of Yamata no Orochi's heads.
"I know my way around Japanese mythology." Deadpanned Kaito. "Not to mention, I've also played Okami, and you eight look just like Yamata no Orochi from that game. You even have the little garden and bell on your back... Which is where I'm standing right now. Is this all there is to my inner world, or is there more than just you and your back? Because right now I'm feeling very limited."
"Um..." Hesitated a few heads of Yamata no Orochi. "This is all there is, okay?" Hissed the main head. "So you're just going to have to make do."
"Fine," Sighed Kaito. "So why did you finally decide to talk to me? You haven't even tried to talk to me my entire life up until now. So what's the occasion?"
"No occasion. It's simply that you're finally ready." Said the main head in an attempt to look wise.
"Yeah, right!" Said Crazy sarcastically. "I heard your other heads gossiping before the main Kaito woke up. You just didn't want to let Kaito use your powers because you liked everything to be old fashioned, while Kaito is more modern in his tastes."
"Shut-up!" Demanded the main head. "That is not why I was withholding my power from Kaito!" Kaito could tell by his tone and body language that he was lying. "Besides, there is still much to discuss-"
"Just tell me your release command and I'll get out of your scales already." Deadpanned Kaito impatiently. "I get the feeling that you don't want me here any more than I want to be here."
"It is not so simple as that, young Kaito." Began Orochi's main head. "We must first see how well you can manage on your own." As he said this, a sword fell in front of Kaito as his three duplicates each pulled out swords of their own.
Picking up the sword in front of him with a bored expression, Kaito looked at Orochi with a disappointed look in his eyes. "Really? Me against my mental counterparts without the use of my own Zanpakuto? This is really the best you could come up with?" Kaito shook his head sadly. "You do know that my dad told me about how he went through pretty much the same thing when he was around my age?" Many of the Orochi heads began to panic, until the main one shut them up, confirming Kaito's suspicions. "You do realize that I've always wanted to connect with you? I don't need any epiphany via some cliched shonen battle to wanna get along with you. You don't have to make me do this three-on-one battle on your back. Which, while it is a very nice garden, is admittedly too small to have such a battle in the first place. And what's with that 'young Kaito' shit? You're my Zanpakuto. We're you born at the same time as me?"
"Enough of this!" Demanded Orochi angrily, though he quickly regained his composure. "That may have been your father's story, and how his Zanpakuto handled things, but this is your life, your inner world, and I'm your Zanpakuto. So as I was saying-"
"You do realize, pretending to be smart and all knowing really doesn't work for you, right?" Asked Kaito, cutting off his Zanpakuto. "I heard you screaming when Retsu attacked me. I know how pathetic and cowardly you really are."
"Now wait right there-!"
"You're just like me." Said Kaito knowingly. "Look at me. I may know what my plan is, and be willing to go through with it, but it still terrifies me to think of doing something so crazy-"
"You're welcome!" Joked Crazy.
"Anyway," Continued Kaito. "The fact is, all of you are all extensions of me, as well as your own people. In other words, there's a little of me in each of you. So I know that you're a bunch of bloody cowards who're sick and tired of constantly being in the shadows of our big shot parents."
"Shut your fucking mouth before I shut it for you!" Demanded Red. "I'm about this close to ripping you a new one!"
"But then you'd be harming yourself as well." Reminded Blue.
"May I continue?" Asked Kaito, receiving several nods. "Good. Now as I was saying, we're all sick and tired of being matched up against our parents. For fucks sake, my dad's like some superhero, even by Captain standards, and he made Captain at the youngest age in history. My mom's a member of one of the 4 most powerful noble houses in all of Seireitei, even if it is by adoption, and a shaky one at best. And you, Orochi. Since you're my Zanpakuto, I'd venture to guess that my parents Zanpakutos are your parents, and you're just as upset by the comparison as I am."
Glaring fiercely at an unshaken Kaito for several second, Orochi quickly deflated. "Fine. I admit it. I hate everyone else always looking at me for what my parents did instead of what I'm capable of. I'm my own Zanpakuto, damn it! I'm not my parents! But what do we do about it? Like you said, we're all cowards when you get right down to it."
"True." Accepted Kaito. "But just like Ulysses S. Grant, who won the Civil War through being a self-aware drunk, we can win by being a bunch of self-aware cowards."
A silent goal and agreement was set.
The Next Day - Outside the 9th Division
Kaito had recovered quickly, mostly due to a combination of Ginto - Quincy devices used to store Reiryoku - that he'd stolen from Mr. Ishida's house one day, and his new skills at healing kido. He also stole several other things over the course of his early life, such as manga and video games. He really couldn't help it, when he wanted something and knew he could get away with taking it, he did so. His name literally meant thief after all. And now here he was, at the gates of the 9th Division.
"Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello." Said Kaito over and over as he kept knocking on the gates.
"What is it?-!" Asked some angry looking guy as he and four others answered the gate. "If you have something to say to someone here, just come in instead of knocking on the gate like some idiot!"
"Oh really? It's that simple?" Asked Kaito, deliberately trying to sound like an idiot. "In that case, I'd like to apply for the position as your new Captain if you don't mind."
The five guys just stared at Kaito like he was crazy for several seconds, before bursting out laughing. "Are you fucking nuts?" Asked one of the men at the gates. "Of course he is! He just waltzes right up to the front gate thinking he can become a Captain! He's gotta be flat out crazy!" Said another. "Wait, wait! Somebody take a picture of this idiot so we can show everyone!" Said another.
Three Seconds Later
"What a bunch of morons." Remarked Kaito as he put away his Zanpakuto, five bloody and unconscious bodies littering the floor. "I asked them politely, and the didn't even consider reporting my request to their superiors before laughing at me. At least that's five down, and about 225 to go."
"Hey! What happened here?" Shouted someone as ten people came around the corner. Noticing Kaito and the blood splattered across his uniform, they all drew their Zanpakuto. "Did you have something to do with this?"
"Yes." Answered Kaito as he pulled out his own Zanpakuto. "And now I'm going to beat the shit out of you too. Bakudo Number 4 - Hainawa!" As he said this, a rope of light materialized, but instead of binding the arms of a target like it usually would, it coated his Zanpakuto. Before the ten obviously novice Shinigami could properly defend themselves, Kaito dashed around and through their formation, the stream of light trailing behind him. "You're all going to get cut now." Said Kaito, as he linked his Zanpakuto to the other end of the stream of light, completing his circuit, and sending the normally harmless binding rope slamming into the ten Shinigami, cutting them with the Bakudo, sharpened by his Zanpakuto, and sending them spiraling onto the ground, writhing in pain as the light cut their struggling bodies further. "Don't worry, it'll dissipate in five minutes."
9th Division - 15 down - About 215 to go.
Five Minutes Later
As an alarm went off and Kaito heard the sound of a swarm of footfalls rushing towards the center of the complex, he found himself severely disappointed with the level of security in this place. "Really? It took them this long to get word out about a hostile intruder? I've already taken down 52 guys since getting in here, I've already had plenty of time to heal whatever minor injuries I've gotten with the Reiryoku I've stored in these weird Quincy things, and I haven't even had to break out any kido over level 40 yet. Do these idiots honestly think that a mindless Zerg Rush is going to get them anywhere against a skilled opponent, or do they really not have anywhere close to enough time to train? I'm really gonna have to change that once I send them all packing to the 4th Division and make Captain of this division."
"Not gonna happen!" Shouted some idiot who tried to strike Kaito from behind, only to get a Byakurai to the face and a slash across the chest.
"Get him!" Shouted some other idiot as he and six other guys rushed at Kaito all at once.
"Bakudo Number 37 - Tsuriboshi!" Said Kaito as he struck his Zanpakuto into the ground, slashed two guys who tried to cut him down in quick succession. Then he ducked under two other slashes and struck one guy across the chest, and the other down his back. The remaining three tried to rush him all at once, but he just Flash Stepped out of the way, stabbed one in the back of the leg, another in the arm, and he parried the last one before cutting him in the shoulder.
"Hey!" "What's going on?" "What is this stuff?" Asked the struggling idiots as they tried to get out of the binding spell they'd been trapped in, only to get even more stuck because of their struggling.
"It's a simple, level 37 binding spell." Explained Kaito. "Only I infused my Zanpakuto with it instead of launching it at you, so that just getting cut with it once will attach a thread to you, and the more people I strike, and the more they struggle, the more they get stuck. Also, if you're going for a sneak attack, don't shout some stupid line like some idiot. Make sure to take notes, because I'll be expecting you all to be practicing this once I become your new Captain."
9th Division - 60 down - About 170 to go
Twelve Minutes Later
"These men are persistent, I'll give them that much." Admitted Kaito as he struck down three more people at once with one swing from another swing from a Tsuriboshi infused Zanpakuto, sending them struggling onto the ground with 12 other guys. "But that's all the shit I'll give them besides a beating. 'Cause they're all fucking idiots! Hado Number 32 - Okasen!" He spat as he cut down four more guys with an arc of kido, one of which had earlier boasted about being 5th Seat. "I want a turn! I want a turn! Bakudo Number 62 - Hyapporanakn!" He shouted excitedly as he fired off one blade, which quickly split into many others.
"How is he doing this?" "That's not how those spells work!" "Why is Kurosaki-taicho's own kid attacking us?" "That's the Kurosaki kid? What is that man teaching his kids?" Complained several Shinigami before they were quickly taken down.
"You really went all out with that one, didn't you?" Kaito asked of himself as he tried to catch his breath and use the Quincy devices to replenish his reiatsu and heal his wounds after using such a powerful attack. "I really think we need to set a limit on how high a level of kido we can use in this raid." "Why bother? We took them down? That's over half of the whole damn division already, and we've only gotten a few minor scrapes and blasts from some amateur kdio users." "I wanna talk! Fish paste!" "Let's just heal up and go find some more opponents." Kaito decided as he walked away from the field of injured and trapped Shinigami.
9th Division - 132 down - About 98 to go
Twenty-Two Minutes Later
"I started out today, fully prepared to face off against an entire division of elite warriors, but what I get instead is a vastly over-hyped Red Shirt Army." Remarked Kaito in utter boredom as he took a seat atop a pile of unconscious, bleeding, and/or in pain Shinigami. Whereas he only had a few injuries, which he couldn't heal due to running out of spare Reiryoku in the Ginto. "I'm beginning to understand why my dad and his friends had such an easy time breaking into this place and beating the tar outta pretty much everyone here when they were younger than me. These guys are flat out pathetic."
"Is that so?" Asked a seething voice from behind as someone tried to place a blade up against Kaito's neck, but he dodged too quickly.
9th Division - 230 down - 1 to go
"Hello again, uh..." Trailed off Kaito as he couldn't quite remember who this guy was. "Yakuza-san?" He guessed based on the man's copious tattoos and scars.
"I see you're about as good at remembering people as your father." Spat Hisagi.
"Don't you dare compare me to that bastard!" "Are you really the only one left here? Because I'm severely disappointed with the poor standards of my future subordinates." "I once had a dream about kids taking down an evil dictatorship from in a public bathroom!" Kaito went for confusion tactics as he took advantage of Hisagi's bafflement to draw his Zanpakuto. "What took you so long anyway? Aren't you in charge here while there's no Captain? Shouldn't you have tracked me down from the beginning instead of letting me mow down your subordinates?"
"I was at a meeting." Scorned Hisagi as he charged at Kaito, who barely had time to deflect the strike aimed at him. "Why did you do this? What weird goal do you have in attacking an entire division? What do you hope to accomplish?" He pressed as he continued to strike against Kaito.
"You really don't know how to listen, do you?" Panicked Kaito as he deflected and dodged the rain of strikes against him. "I said quite clearly that - Ah! Don't do that!" He panicked as he jumped back from a strike aimed at his legs. "I said quite clearly that I plan to become Captain of this division."
"By attacking everyone in it?" Growled Hisagi. "Bakudo Number 61 - Rikujokoro!"
Kaito, already knowing the effects of the spell, quickly crouched to the ground and avoided the six beams of light. "Not bad, but it works better if you do it like this. Bakudo Number 61 - Rikujokoro!" He commanded as six beams of light surrounded the tip of his Zanpakuto a began spinning like a buzz saw.
"What the-?" Hisagi barely had time to wonder and dodge before Kaito swung the spinning blades at him, nicking his torso and shredding through his flesh. "Damn it!" He cursed under his breath.
"To answer your earlier question, yes, I do plan to become Captain this way." Said Kaito calmly as he held the spinning blades in front of him. "Normally you can become Captain by defeating the previous Captain in front of 200 or more of their subordinates. But since this division doesn't currently have a Captain, and Captains are said to be stronger than the rest of their division put together..."
"You're planning to prove yourself by taking down this entire division." Realized Hisagi.
"Not a very hard thing to do, by the way." Smirked Kaito. "This entire place is filled with weaklings. Once I'm in charge, you're going to have to do a lot of training under my watch. I can't believe how pathetic 230 people can be! Or maybe I'm just that badass."
"You'll never lead the 9th Division so long as I draw breath! Bakudo Number 61 - Rikujokoro!" Growled Hisagi as a buzz saw of energy surrounded the tip of his Zanpakuto and he charged at Kaito again.
"I can work with that!" Said Kaito excitedly as he got rid of the buzz saw surrounding his Zanpakuto. "Bakudo Number 37 - Tsuriboshi!" He said, sending a sticky net of kido flying at Hisagi, getting his buzz saw and himself tangled up in the goop, as well as adding a few bruises to his body from the speed the saw was spinning at. "By the way. I don't always coat my Zanpakuto with the kido I use. Sometimes I use it the way the creator intended it to be used."
"Damn it!" Growled Hisagi as he struggled to get out of the goop. "Hado Number 31 - Shakkaho!" He shouted to make an explosion, causing some damage to himself, but also getting rid of the goop. "Reap - Kazeshini!" He cried before the smoke cleared, and jumped out of the smoke cloud, dual wielding bizarre, double bladed scythes. Swinging both blades at Kaito, he responded quickly.
"Fall Down Drunk - Yamata no Orochi!"
32 Minutes Later
Word of the attack against the 9th Division quickly got around once people managed to recover and get word to the surrounding divisions. Before long, several Captains, including the Captain Commander himself had arrived on the scene to deal with the attack. What the Captains saw when they got there, shocked them all.
"Kaito!" Panicked Ichigo as he saw his beaten and bloodied son sitting atop an even more beaten, bloodied, and also unconscious Hisagi.
"What exactly do you think you're doing, Kurosaki?-!" Demanded Yamamoto angrily.
"So this kid managed to beat the shit out of an entire division?" Smirked Kenpachi maliciously. "Now I really wanna fight him!"
Smirking through his blood coated face, Kaito managed one sentence. "So, I think this makes me Captain of this division, wouldn't you agree?" Having said his two cents, he passed out.
Everone present and still conscious just stared at the sleeping boy for several seconds. Nobody knowing exactly what to say or do in response to his last comment. Especially since he'd passed out immediately after saying it.
"I suppose this means he'll be staying in the 4th Division for awhile again." Sighed Retsu.
If anyone had been paying attention, they would have seen the smile appear on Kaito's sleeping face.
Finally, I'm done with this chapter. And I must say, I'm rather pleased with how it turned out all things considered. Sorry you didn't get to see what Kaito's Shikai looked like, but I promise, it'll be in the next chapter. Anyway, that's 11 Chapters down, and 2 to go. Look forward to it!