Author's note: I have several Thank You's today….First thank you to ShaKayla for helping me find my muse again without her I would still be looking at the cursor blink! Secondly thank you to everyone who has followed or favorite my stories and me this week. I usually thank everyone by name but there were way too many this week so THANK YOU ALL! Princess Diary readers are the BEST!

Standing in front of her office window, staring out over the gardens Clarisse sipped a glass of brandy closing her eyes, while letting the warmth of the amber liquid slide down her throat as it warmed her insides. Taking a deep breath she straightened her back and made her way to her desk deciding that she needed to write her feelings down.

Dear Diary,

Today has been one disaster after another. First thing this morning I went down to Mia's suite to see if she would like to have breakfast with me, only when I arrived I found Lilly in her bed. However in true Mia fashion she came running in through the door followed shortly by Charlotte. After seeing that Mia had been out all night with Nicholas no matter how innocent it might have been, it was just one more thing I had to deal with today.

As a grandmother my heart broke for Mia. I know that what she is going to do tomorrow isn't because she loves Andrew, it's because she loves her country and marrying is just a part of her duty. I hated to see her crying this morning and it was all I could do not to join her, as my own heart was breaking at love lost. Mia deserves to marry for love not fondness as I had to do. It seems that neither of us will have that chance now.

However as her Queen, her behavior last night was a complete nightmare. The media is all over the place looking for any reason to shed Mia and the royal family in a bad light. How can she not understand this? How can she not realize that her actions reflect poorly upon the Royal family and the people of Genovia? As disappointed as I am as Mia's Queen, in her actions from last night her grandmother can't help but to be a little proud of her for at least allowing herself one night.

Now I'm sitting here in my dark office…alone drinking this awful brandy. The one person who would know exactly how to fix this mess is Joseph and I have now closed that door forever. Today of all days I need him, just to be able to see him would make things a little better but he has avoided me all day. I knew he was upset after what happened last night but I never once expected to walk into my office to find his letter of retirement. I knew what it was the moment I saw the envelope and I could not hold back the tears that fell as I looked it over. He is really leaving me and for good it seems this time.

Hopefully after tomorrow things will get better. Mia will be married tomorrow and within the week she will take my place on the throne. Surely after things have settled with Mia, Joseph will hear me out and allow me to explain myself to tell him what I should have told him last night.

Laying her pen down Clarisse closed her diary and placed it back in the drawer. Pushing her chair back slightly she rested her head down on her desk for a moment feeling quite defeated after the pass several days. Closing her eyes she prayed that everything went as planned for Mia's wedding and that somehow she would find comfort in Mia's happiness because it was apparent the she was not destined to ever be truly happy. She also prayed that if Joseph had to leave her, that he would someday find happiness as well.

Sitting back up in her chair, she wiped the tears that had escaped her eyes. Standing she took a deep cleansing breath, squared her shoulders, smoothed her hands over her suit and slipped her queen mask back into place before making her way up to her bed chamber.