The
Super-Ultra-Mega Ranma 1/2 Crossover
Director's Cut
By: Jay Howington, Michael Brew, and Fraulein Fryer
Disclaimer: Poor, poor Houston. We've been working on this whole thing, and all he did was suggest a few... er... suggestions in the beginning. Unfortunately, that still counts as contributing, so we must put his name at the beginning of every chapter. So it goes... OH! Yeah, and all that disclaimer stuff too. Thanks to .com for inspiration on some of the new Trunks.
Chapter 10:
The sound of a gong being struck with all of its user's force reverberated throughout the stadium, although it was soon drowned out by the crowd's gaiety over the current fight.
Ryouko sprang from her starting point, energy sword blazing, and charged at the stationary Mewtwo. She slashed at the psychic pokémon, but was surprised to find her blade passing cleanly through an after-image of her opponent.
Come on, now. At least make this enjoyable. Ryouko glared at the pokémon after hearing its telepathic commentary, and proceeded to vanish as well. Reappearing behind Mewtwo, she swiped at it once again, forcing it to lunge forward to dodge the attack.
"You're not the only one to do that!" She launched an energy blast at the psychic. Mewtwo, however, caught it in front of him and seemingly compressed the attack into nothingness. Placing its hands behind itself, it charged a dark purple sphere of psychic emissions. Its brow twitched as it released the ball at Ryouko. Not anticipating the wild, constantly twisting course the ball would take; Ryouko was barely able to fade out of the way. Demons and humans alike scrambled to avoid the psychic orb rocketing toward them. Surprisingly, the orb just fizzled away before causing any harm.
Back in the ring, meanwhile, Mewtwo and Ryouko repeatedly teleported around the ring, one launching energy assaults and the other dodging them. Mewtwo seemed content with its opponent's effort, and finally disappeared, reappearing above Ryouko. Then, with a quick midair flip, whipped its tail at Ryouko, bludgeoning her into the ring far below. Quickly arising from the wreckage, Ryouko grimaced at the levitating Mewtwo as it wagged its tail mockingly.
"Chi..ku... sho~o!" With a cry of rage, the former space pirate shot up toward the psychic pokémon and fired an energy blast at point-blank range. Surprised at this sudden burst of speed and firepower, Mewtwo didn't dodge the attack; instead, it took it face-on.
"How do you like that, huh?" panted Ryouko with a exhausted smile.
Not bad, but it's nothing to me. The psychic voice of the pokémon pierced Ryouko's mind. Though visibly hurt, Mewtwo continued to smirk at Ryouko. With a quick nod, Mewtwo's eyes flashed a bright blue. Suddenly, to Ryouko, a deafeningly loud beep attacked her ears. Clutching the sides of her head in agony, she slowly lost flight and floated uneasily to the ground.
You cannot win. The psychic pokémon ceased its mental invasion and concentrated its efforts on itself. Its body shimmered and shone as blue sparkles of psychic energy rejuvenated its burnt body. After a short period it was completely healed; just soon enough to see Ryouko, having recovered, swing a giant incarnation of her energy sword at it. Mewtwo, however, pressed its hands together and charged a giant purple sphere, repelling Ryouko's sword with little effort. The sphere continued to grow at an exceedingly mercurial rate, quickly engulfing Ryouko herself. The psychic ball struck at both Ryouko's mind and body, burning away the top portion of her skin-tight battle outfit, causing her to be exposed.
"Kuso..." the demon cursed as she covered herself.
Ranma clenched his fists as he watched. "Damn! How's that demon-girl gonna beat a guy who can do stuff like that?! Hell, he can even heal himself!"
Ryouko smirked as an idea came to her. "Well, duh! Why didn't I think of it before?!" With that, she sank into the arena.
"Oh! We've seen this technique before!" The announcer of the Ankoku Bukujutsukai exclaimed. "The judges have ruled that, since Ryouko is technically touching the ring, she can't be disqualified for this."
Tenkaichi Budoukai announcer chimed in, "I think the question here is: can Mewtwo manage to avoid ringout, himself, if Ryouko IS the ring!"
A now-stone giant Ryouko rose to hover above her adversary. "That IS a good question, huh, short-stuff?"
Mewtwo glowered, You underestimate my power. He summoned a ball of energy above each paw.
"Right!" Ryouko quipped sarcastically as she formed a much larger version of her energy blade. "I just hope I don't accidentally disintegrate any of these people when I slash you to bits..." through with talking, the demon surrogate swiped at her foe, but the other was difficult to hit because of his smallness.
In the stands Washu studied the battle carefully. "Hm. No, I don't think it's just because of the size difference that Ryouko's missing. That creature is psychic, and can thus read people's thoughts. If Ryouko's going to have a chance of winning, the playing field needs to be a bit more level."
The young pilot, Jim, looked questioningly at his mentor. "Wait, how can you do that with a psychic?"
Washu summoned her computer. "Elementary, my dear Hawking. I'll simply modify the link Ryouko and I share in order to include Mewtwo's brainwaves. All I have to do..." a quick, bright, green flash emanated from her computer. "There. His mind's workings have been scanned--and quite an interestingly designed one it is--and now I just have to set Ryouko's brain to pick up its waves."
Jim blinked. "You can do that? How is it that Mewtwo wouldn't know, anyway, since he's psychic?"
Washu laughed. "Well, that's a silly question. You think that, even though I can modify ordinary people to be psychic, I can't create defenses for it? I would have set up Ryouko's, too, but it takes some time to do, and I haven't been allowed to get close to her since we got here and found out these guys were a team of psychics."
"Oh."
"There we are!" Washu beamed. "This procedure, fortunately, is as easy as a tachyonic pulse!" She tapped a button, and it disappeared a second later.
Inside the arena--literally--Ryouko gasped as she felt her senses bloom like a flower. It was as profound as a normal person suddenly seeing into the infrared spectrum. "So..." she said inside her puppet, "that's what you're going to do."
Mewtwo felt his opponent's mind, and started as he felt a sudden uncertainty. It seemed like whenever he felt for what she was going to do, the idea shifted. It was now a mind in constant flux, almost as if she knew that he had... No! He quickly created a barrier just before the energy blade was thrust into him from above. He was pushed mere centimeters from the ground, but he managed to telekinetically push the earth away from him. Unfortunately, another strong jolt from Ryouko forced him bodily to the ground.
"1..." the announcer's began, "2..."
Almost immediately, Mewtwo began to glow brightly. Blue light cascaded outward as massive amounts of pure kinetic energy escaped Mewtwo's control, though the amount that flew from his mind's grasp was quite small in terms of percentage. Finally, the mutant clone released his power in a beam that forced the blade away at such a rapid speed, Ryouko lost hold of it.
"Whoa!" Ryouko growled with reluctant appreciation as she stared at her blade being carried into the sky by the powerful pulse, "I didn't think the little guy had it in 'im!"
Mewtwo rose from the crater he had created and smirked. You "fighters" are all alike. You assume that you must have a strong body to create powerful ki attacks; however, the strength of one's mind also plays an important role.
"6... 7..."
Why are you still counting?! Mewtwo demanded, fixing a cold stare upon them.
The T.B. announcer paused while the other cowered onto the ground in fear. The former straightened. "Well, you see, the rules state that once you are 'out' of the ring, you have ten counts to get back 'in.' You haven't touched the ring yet so you're still 'out.' The same applies for the transverse. You have to touch an object outside the ring in order to be considered 'out.'"
I see. Well, then... with rapid speed, the pokémon rocketed toward the stone Ryouko. Though he was subjected to swipes from the other, he deftly dodged, and, at the last second, teleported onto Ryouko's head. He smiled smugly at the announcers below. Satisfied?
"Te--! Oh. Well, I suppose," the T.B. announcer conceded.
Ryouko slapped at the small nuisance on her head, but missed as it again teleported away. "You little pest! I'm so gonna kill you!" She created a new energy sword and began to swing it at her foe. It was somewhat more accurate this time, everyone could see, as she buffeted the barrier-encased Mewtwo around.
Mewtwo countered with a strong psychic drive, which propelled Ryouko a significant distance away. This may take quite a bit of power, the pokémon though privately, but it may be my best chance. It began to glow even brighter than before, and its shell of power increased greatly in diameter. "Myaaaaaaaw!" it screeched with strain before dynamic puissance exploded from its shell, slamming into the stony body of Ryouko, completely shattering it.
Ryouko's true body, tights in tatters, plummeted to the ground. "Oof!" she grunted as she landed. She rose slowly to her feet.
"3... 4..." the announcers were already counting as the simulacrum rose halfway.
Ryouko went for a large chunk of ring, but it, as well as all of the other pieces of ring, rolled away from the center of the stadium, then shot upward at breakneck speeds. She looked angrily at Mewtwo. "You! What have you done?!"
"8... 9..."
There's no way you can catch any of those pieces in time. I win.
Confirming Mewtwo's declaration, the announcers shouted in unison, "10! Mewtwo is the winner!"
Ryouko shook with anger. "You cheated me of my victory! I could've won!"
Perhaps, the pokémon accorded. You are strong enough to match me, but there's more to winning than strength... as I've just proved.
Ryouko sighed, knowing she had been outmaneuvered.
"But, um..." the T.B. announcer interrupted, "How are we going to continue the tournament? The last time something like this happened, it took almost four years to rebuild the ring."
Simple, Mewtwo stated. Ryouko, would you care to--
"Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking," she said as she floated into the air.
A novel experience for me, I must say, Mewtwo mused. He raised his arm, and the various pieces of the ring descended quickly from the sky, converging on Ryouko and refitting themselves into a cracked version of her stone body. The pieces then began to melt, courtesy of Ryouko's possession abilities, and reformed into the shape and size of the original ring. The ring then floated gently down to its original position, at which point the demoness emerged.
"Wow." The A.B. announcer commented. "Well, don't go away, folks, because after a short break, we have the next match! Who will step up to battle the mighty Mewtwo?"
Portions of the crowd swarmed toward the exits, searching for refreshments at various stands throughout the stadium. Ranma and co. helped the battle-weary Ryouko out of the ring, while Mewtwo floated to his team's side.
"Sorry 'bout that, guys. I probably coulda took him out." said Ryouko, downcast.
"Don't worry about it, he's most likely tired after that match, he won't be much to beat now!" Ranma cheerily said.
"Yes, I think I will step up and defeat our foe." Suzuka said, brandishing her bokken menacingly.
- - -
Walking through the hall, Mirai no Trunks, Mirai no Chibi Trunks, Chibi Trunks, and "Grand Twink" Trunks, who was holding hands with the present Trunks.
"Why do you gotta hold my hand, Trunks?" The 4-year old toddler asked GT Trunks.
"But, you're just a little boy, Trunks. I wouldn't want you to wander off, now." The effeminate GT Trunks replied happily. "In fact, why don't we all hold hands?"
"Buzz off, you dork." The 8-year old Chibi Trunks stringently refused.
"Yeah, you freak. Ya want people ta think we're all as maladjusted as you?" Mirai no Chibi Trunks agreed harshly as he did lunges down the hall.
"You know, since we're all basically the same guy, people are gonna think things no matter what we're doing." A freakishly huge super-deformed Trunks appeared beside Mirai no Trunks, walking along as though he had always been there.
Screams of terror of various intensity filled the hall as each incarnation of Trunks looked upon the 4-foot diameter head of the newcomer Trunks.
"W-w-who're you?" Chibi Trunks finally sputtered as his malformed counterpart looked him over.
"Me? I'm Billy Bo Bubba Trunks, the best Trunks of 'em all! I came here from the future to kill Goku."
"Kill... Goku? Why would you want to do that?" Mirai no Trunks politely inquired.
"I'm your evil clone! I want everything you don't!" Bubba Trunks stated with a laugh.
"Oh... then you want this corn dog, right? I dropped it on ground three times already, so I don't want it anymore." Mirai no Trunks produced a dust-and-dirt covered, half-eaten corn dog.
"That's not what I meant!" The freak Trunks cried indignantly. "I mean I'm here to do everything you don't want to happen!"
"Oh...Well, I don't want you to get me some candy, so don't!" Chibi Trunks said matter-of-factly, immediately sending Bubba Trunks scuttling off toward the nearest concession stand. After he was out of sight, the Trunks huddled.
"What are we gonna do about him? He'll give us Trunks a bad name!" Mirai no Chibi Trunks proclaimed irritatedly as he performed calisthenics. "I mean, thanks to GT Trunks, everybody already thinks we're gay! We don't need to be evil and disgustingly hideous, too!"
"Hey, come on! You guys all know I'm not gay! I mean, just ask Pan!"
"Pan? You don't mean Gohan's future daughter about whom you spoke earlier, do you? The one that's about thirteen years younger than you?" Mirai no Trunks queried.
"Er... Did I say gay? I mean pedophilic." Mirai no Chibi Trunks corrected himself from the floor, where he was doing pushups.
"I'm back! Here's your candy--- the candy that you don't want!!!" Upon returning, Bubba Trunks gave Chibi Trunks a bag of sweets and broke into maniacal fits of laughter.
"Oh, hey, thanks." The recipient of said candy snatched it away from him. "Er, I mean, OH NO! What have you done?" He shouted in mocking horror while stashing the fruits of his deception into his pocket.
"I'm so evil! You said you didn't want candy, but I bought some for you anyway!" shouted Bubba Trunks.
"Sorry, but you can't hang out with the pretty likes of us! You're too ugly." GT Trunks said, heroically.
"You think you can just ignore me 'cause I'm not beautiful like you? Okay, 'pretty boy', bring it on!"
The foppish Trunks assumed a fighting stance. "Well, whatever turns you on!" He said with a smirk while the other Trunks restrained the urge to beat him within a inch of his life for saying something that unmasculine.
"Hey, maybe GT Trunks, tired from his battle with Bubba Trunks, will mysteriously get incinerated in a blast of unknown origin!" Mirai no Chibi Trunks said suggestively, only to be silenced by a sharp glare from Mirai no Trunks.
"We can't kill him; he's hasn't done anything deliberately wrong."
"Well... I suppose you're right. Well, let's just hope that they finish each other off then." Mirai no Chibi Trunks hoped vocally.
- - -
The intermission had ended, and the majority of the crowd was piling back into the stands. The two announcers stepped out into the sunlight and looked at each other, then raised their microphones.
"The next matchup is here! Who from Team Budoukai will step into the ring and take on the terrible Mewtwo?"
Suzuka strode forth from her team members and walked into the ring.
Interesting choice... the vaguely catlike creature transmitted. It conjured a shield for itself and continued, either you're desperate, or you just need to get rid of this weakling in favor of some other fighter.
The other four members of Team Budoukai exchanged eight and a half glances.
"Enough!" the extraterrestrial kendoka declared as she took a ready stance. "Now you will learn why they call me Twilight Suzuka!" She charged the pokémon with fervor, raising her bokken high.
Onna no baka! Mewtwo roared mentally as it shot a massive beam toward her. The beam seemed to pass through a rapidly dissolving Suzuka, where it went on to blow Gene Starwind's shirt off.
"Aw, damn!" Gene complained.
"You're finished!" Suzuka cried from above her foe as she brought her (wooden) blade down upon its head.
- - -
"Who's your daddy naw, hah?! Who's your daddy, naw?!" Bubba Trunks hollered as he continued a merciless assault upon GT Trunks' fanny.
"Aaah! Aaah! No more!" GT Trunks begged.
Mirai no Chibi Trunks shook his head... then pushed it down, and back, and to the left, and the right... "Man, look at that. It's so... well, y'know. And he's beggin'--"
"Augh! I'm not--ah!--gay! Erg! I'm not--ugh!--enjoying this! Yow!" GT Trunks growled.
Trunks proper tugged on the pants leg of his much older self. "Umm... Mirai no Chibi Trunks... maybe we should help him."
Chibi Trunks nodded. "Yeah, my younger, stupider self is right. We Trunks have to stick together! Except, y'know, for the evil ones..."
The three futuristic Trunks exchanged a meaningful glance; then went Super Saiyajin at once. They charged into battle, first liberating GT Trunks from the humiliating Blow of the Penetrating Savage technique, and then ganging up on Bubba Trunks like a street gang.
"What up, bo'! I know you ain't wantin' none o' this!" Mirai no Chibi Trunks whooped as he began to kick the deformed Trunks while he was down.
"Hey, M.C.!" Chibi Trunks interjected, pulling the older him away from the bleeding freak of nature. "The author said 'like a street gang.' It's a simile. It doesn't actually mean we've gotta be all punk."
M.C. Trunks blushed and scratched the back of his head. "Oh. Gomen nasai. I got a little over vehement..."
Mirai no Trunks drew his broadsword which, despite having been shattered by the jinzouningen beyond repair, seemed to be back to normal. One could only assume that he got a new one. "I'm gonna finish this!"
Bubba Trunks rose to one knee. "Oh, no, you don't!" He reached for his own sword, only to discover that either his head was too big or his arms were too stubby. Whatever the case, he could not unsheathe it. "Oh, numbnuts!"
"Kiyaa!" Mirai no Trunks vociferated as he proceeded to dice Bubba into perfect, minute cubes. He then held his palm toward the still-falling-apart dead clone and blasted him into dust. He then breathed a sigh of relief. "Man, that guy's power... it was... mind-boggling!" The other three Trunks stared incredulously. "What?!" he asked. "A guy can't say his own dubby catchphrase anymore? What's the world coming to?"
- - -
The screech echoed throughout the stadium. Suzuka was on her knees, holding her head in pain. "No~o! That attack... the... the Omni Contem...plation Psycho... Barrage Dreaming... Force Assault... it was too powerful for words!"
Now you know what it is to fight a true master of telepathy and telekinesis. Mewtwo stated.
"I... I won't give up!" Suzuka declared. "You'll have to break every bone in my bod—eeeee!" The kendoka found her legs ripped out from under her.
Mewtwo glowered at the woman. I can see that you're telling the truth; just remember you brought this on yourself. With that, the pokémon began to wrench Suzuka's body about. Somehow, I had expected fighting humans to be... enjoyable. Instead, I find it even more tedious than fighting pokémon! it raised a paw mere inches from Suzuka's body. Its stubby fingers flexed, then clenched hard. At that moment, Suzuka felt an enormous pressure on her entire torso that pinned her arms to her sides and squeezed the air out of her lungs. Panic set in, and she fought against the force with all of her strength, causing her head to thrash back and forth as her legs kicked at the air, but the rest of her body remained completely rigid in Mewtwo's grip, the crushing pressure unchanged by her effort.
"No! I won't let you do this!" Suzuka gurgled. She struggled powerfully against the psychic attack, but only succeeded in moving her arms three and seven sixteenths centimeters away from her body. She quickly found herself slammed to the ground.
Mewtwo's eyes glowed as it turned its paws so that their palms faced each other in a swift motion that bent Suzuka over backwards in mid-cough. The cough caught in her throat, choking her, as her legs and arms were yanked toward the ground while her torso remained in place. Her hips, back, and shoulders dissolved in an explosion of intense tearing pain, and the screams that she had been holding back burst out of her all at once. With a grunt from Mewtwo, the force increased, until Suzuka felt as if her body was about to break in half. Yet again, she found herself expending her energy in a futile attempt to break Mewtwo's hold on her, but, if anything, her efforts only made the pain greater.
You see now that struggling is what causes you pain? If you give up, you'll be able to fight another day; however, you do not have the raw power to oppose me.
Suzuka simultaneously felt and heard the sickening snap in her left hip as the pain flared to an instantaneous climax, and her left leg curled under her at an impossible angle. Bile rose in her throat, but she choked it back and bit her lip to keep from screaming in pain and terror. It was only seconds before Mewtwo shifted its grip, twisting her in the opposite direction and drawing out fresh screams again. Then, it reversed the force again, and again, wringing her like a wet dishtowel; and each time, the pain seemed to double as her body was twisted in a different, more uncomfortable way. The base of her spine in particular felt like it was about to crack and Suzuka knew that if that were to happen, she would be lucky if losing her leg was the worst that happened to her.
Ranma pounded his fist against the side of the ring. "Dammit, Mewtwo! Stop it; stop it, now! This scene has totally been done in another fanfic, you plagiarist!"
Mewtwo sighed mentally and obliged, throwing her out of the ring. Suzuka, however, had other ideas. As soon as her right leg touched the ground she rebounded back into the ring. "I told you I won't let you beat me!"
Ranma cringed at each scream that rose from the arena as Mewtwo twisted Suzuka's body up like a pretzel. His hands clenched into fists, and more than once he had to forcefully restrain himself from leaping into the ring to Suzuka's aid. There were other sounds amid the screams: pops and cracks that had to signal Suzuka's body being torn apart from the inside, but the poor, brave woman was living through it all. The whole horrible, twisted nightmare. She just wouldn't give in... And until she did, it would just go on and on....
"Okay, okay! Uncle!" Suzuka shouted.
... Huh? Mewtwo mentally asked after a second.
"I said, 'Uncle!' I give!" Suzuka responded. "Could you let me down now? I'm kind of almost dead, here.
Mewtwo silently relinquished his hold on the kendoka.
"Wow! That was quite a display of violence and torture! It gave me goose bumps!" The A.B. announcer exclaimed.
"That was horrible!" the T.B. announcer protested. "I haven't seen that kind of brutality since Tenshi... um, I mean... Tienshinhan fought Yamcha!"
The demon-woman glanced pithily at her co-host. "Hey, this is a demon tournament! Give the fans what they want!"
"Not when it means such a gross display of... of evil!"
"Oh, so now we're evil, huh? Is that it?!"
"Well, yeah! You're demons aren't you?!"
The A.B. announcer's finlike ears twitched. "Why you... I'll show you evil!" She leapt toward the human with ferocity, clawing at his torso. She had managed to tear his tuxedo jacket and shirt completely off before he managed to pull her into a submission hold.
"Wild Smoke Signal Quark MST3K Siege!" The T.B. announcer proceeded to blast the girl with a powerful ki attack whose results were ghastly.
Mike: Wow, this is the worst fanfic I've ever had the horror to read.
Jay: I know! It's like: where's the actual plotline?! These stupid
writers keep putting completely irrelevant information in, and seem
intent to leave out the relevant stuff. They don't even mention that
the Ankoku Bukujutsukai announcer's name is Juri!
Houston: See, what they need... is some Furi Kuri.
Mike: (hits Houston with a Lantern-Electron Inundator) Shut up!
Houston: Furi Kuri! Furi Kuri! Furikurifurikurifurikuri!
Jay: (shakes head sadly) It's not gonna work man. Just let it go...
The Ankoku Bukujutsukai announcer sweatdropped
Mike: See, "sweatdropped" isn't even a word. Come on, if you're gonna
write some Ranma 1/2 crossover, you could at least use grammatically
correct terms...
and screamed in horror as the MSTers relentlessly criticized her very world. "Stop it! Just please make it stop! You're driving me crazy!"
Jay: (imitates Juri's voice) "with lo---ve!"
she then proceeded to pound her head relentlessly into the ground. "Aaaagh!"
"Come on, man!" Ranma prodded, "Suzuka's torture was bad enough to watch! This is sick!"
Mike: Kinda like your bedroom fantasies.
Ranma rolled his eyes and flipped the MSTers off.
The T.B. announcer acquiesced, allowing the MST3K signal quarks emanating from his body to diminish.
Houston: (voice fading) Furi Kuri~i...
As Suzuka was helped away from the ring, an ominous laugh invaded the minds of Team Budoukai. Mewtwo floated in the ring, doing what would be its equivalent of smirking.
Ranma turned to face it. "How dare you beat up on innocent girls like that?" He growled at the psychic pokémon.
"Well, she's actually a mercenary. She's not really innocent, what with the killings and all..." corrected Gene.
Ignoring him, Ranma jumped into the ring. "I'll take you on now! Get ready to face the full might of the Kai Ou no Musabetsu Kakutou Ryu!"
_______________________________________________________________________
There's... just... too many! Too many Trunks! Can't... name them all! ... Oh, wait, I guess I can. Here goes... There's Present Trunks, the four-year old from this point in Dragonball Z, Chibi Trunks, the smart-mouthed 8-year old from the Buu saga, Mirai no Chibi Trunks, the same Trunks, except from the end of DBZ, Mirai no Trunks, the "Future" Trunks, and finally, "Grand Twink" Trunks, from the infamous romp throughout space and lawsuits called DBGT. Also, there's this Billy Bo Bubba Trunks, but I don't think he'll live very long.