Heyho, guys! Here's the new chapter! And finally we'll see Itachi! I'm so excited! From now on the dynamics will change a bit between Naruto and Sasuke, as I think it's only normal to at least think about moving on in a situation like this. I apologize for the scene with Gaara, if it offends you, but I think that again is a natural thing to happen. Naruto has been hurt gravely at this point. But I promise no GaaNaru will happen XD

The end of the chapter now also marks the turn of events as you can guess *g*

Have fun!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did, the ending would've been quite different *g* All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

Chapter 11 The Certainty in the Doubt

The next morning felt awkwardly familiar when Naruto woke with a hangover equal to the one on Sunday. Maybe drinking had not been such a great idea, but then again it had helped him to sleep through the night. However his dreams hadn't really been pleasant.

Waking up with the certainty that his marriage had failed, felt strange… somehow surreal… as if the idea itself was too big for his mind to comprehend. Waking up in this bed however was such a usual, familiar thing to do that Sasuke's betrayal suddenly seemed like nothing but a nightmare, washed away by the bright sunlight of a new day. It was strange how a few short words could change your entire life and all the things you ever believed in.

Naruto groaned in pain and for one moment considered to stay at home and spend the day under the covers, hiding from what was waiting for him outside his safe bed. But today was Tuesday and he couldn't leave Gaara alone with all their students. It wouldn't be fair considering how the man had been there for him last night and after Kiba's wedding. Naruto seriously owed him.

Feeling like shit again, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and reached for the painkillers. At least he didn't feel sick again. Maybe sticking to beer instead of cocktails was better for his stomach, but it didn't help with the headache, nor with the heartache.

He felt almost numb. As if his emotions were wrapped up in cotton wool. It was a strange feeling, because Naruto usually was a very emotional person, but at the moment all he could feel was a dull ache in his chest – nothing too prominent. Just the quiet before the storm. After everything Sasuke had said and done yesterday, Naruto expected to feel devastated today, however his heart was determined to shield him from the worst pain.

That way he'd at least be able to go through with his working day and maybe, training with his students would help him to clear his mind again.

He took a quick, cold shower, dressed in the most comfortable (and probably oldest) clothes he owned and headed to his car. Fortunately the core times of his job were in in the afternoon and evening so that showing up at ten to do some clerical work was sufficient and he didn't have to drive through the city during rush hours.

When he arrived at the dojo, Gaara was already sitting in their shared office; a small room with just enough space for their two desks and otherwise crammed with shelfs full of paperwork. It was amazing how much bureaucracy it took to run your own dojo, especially if you got subsides from the state for a program like the one they ran for kids from poorer families. Each case had to be checked carefully if the child really had a right to have their classes paid by the state. It was troublesome but the only way to provide free training lessons for those who couldn't afford their costs.

Sometimes Naruto wished he could make things cheaper for his students, but as Gaara had pointed out so many times, they had running expenses to pay for and food didn't come for free either. So far the dojo provided enough for both – the dojo itself and for Naruto and Gaara to have enough money to live off without worrying about the end of the month.

Five years ago Naruto had still dreamed off an artistic career just like Deidara did, but he'd given up on that after graduation. His grades were good, but art was something he wanted to make whenever he felt like it and not because he had to do it.

But martial arts had always been his second great passion and he was good at it, so why not make a living of it? Especially if he didn't need to worry about an employer anymore. Naruto hated other people telling him what to do and this way he was his own boss, only answering to Gaara, but without the threat of getting sacked if he talked back. That was a great relief. All he had to do was make sure that enough people wanted to train with him or Gaara to keep their little dojo afloat.

He was more than glad that he'd met Gaara at that tournament. The guy had been scary as shit, kicking all his other opponents' asses, but against Naruto he'd achieved nothing but a stalemate , which had been the best thing that could have happened because from that day on Gaara had changed for the better and the two men had formed a deep bond, understanding each other without words. It felt only natural to be around the guy every day since.

"Hey, anything important today?", Naruto asked as he took a seat behind the desk he loathed so much. Clerical work had always been the least favourite part of his job.
Gaara shook his head, eyes still fixed on a paper he was currently reading. "Nope, not yet. How are you feeling?".
"Like shit. That's why I'm here. I need to focus on something that's not Sasuke and doesn't break under a bit of force", Naruto replied pulling a file about new enrolments for the next beginner classes towards him. Gaara had agreed to be responsible for the most annoying parts of their paperwork, leaving Naruto with the more pleasant things, like planning new classes and schedules, writing letters to parents and members or organize upcoming tournaments.

There would be one in a few weeks and Naruto had to decide whom he wanted to participate. Each tournament covered different age groups and experience levels and he was sure that Konohomaru would make a good impression in his category. He only needed the formal consent of his grandfather.

"Need to release some steam? We could spar before the brats come", Gaara said, now looking up to meet Naruto's gaze.
"Sounds like a good idea actually", he answered, stretching his arms above his head before getting up again. "See you in the dojo in ten".

Naruto and Gaara each had their own, small changing room, in which they also kept some personal stuff, like the awards they'd won over the years. When he entered it now however, he realized that not only his awards were in here, but Sasuke's as well. He'd kept them even after the man had left, just in case he came back someday. Well, that had happened, just not the way Naruto had imagined it.

For a second he fought the urge to take them all off the walls and throw them into the trash, but he knew it wouldn't help or make the situation any better. He sighed and took his training wear out of the locker to get changed.

"Ah, there you are. I've been waiting", Gaara said when Naruto entered the dojo and stretched his muscles, before falling into a comfortable jog. They both new how important warmup was if you wanted your muscles not to be to sour after training. Of course they worked out every day but that didn't mean they were above hurting themselves if they started to be reckless about their body.

"Of course you were", Naruto said back, stretching his arms while he jogged, Gaara falling into pace next to him.
"So, did he answer any of your texts?"
"No, he didn't. Why would he?"

Gaara shrugged, closing his eyes for a moment. "He can't run from you forever. If he weren't such a big coward he'd answer and face you, but he hides behind a device that allows him to choose if he reacts or not. Such things don't happen in real conversations", he explained calmly.
"I don't blame him. What I wrote didn't make things easier for him", Naruto said, finally stopping to thoroughly stretch his muscles before they would start to spar.
"Kiba made an impression, didn't he? Being all concerned about your dear husband", Gaara almost sounded amused, rotating his shoulders to relax them.
"Hm… I guess he's right… Sasuke's suffering too… I saw it in his eyes… he'd trying to hide it, probably even from himself, but he's hurting". Naruto smiled sadly and got into position, Gaara following suit.
"Yeah, maybe he is, but that doesn't give him the right to hurt others", he said delivering the first blow Naruto had to avoid and therefore starting their ritual of releasing steam.

Naruto took a step backwards, avoiding being hit by one of Gaara's brutally hard punches. Although they were just doing this for fun, neither of them held back. It just wouldn't work if they did it half-heartedly – passion was part of the program. Not willing to be on the defence, Naruto launched himself forwards, attacking his best friend full force.

The previous night had been… exhausting for Sasuke. He'd had a hard time falling asleep and when he'd finally been able to, he'd been haunted by a strange dream about how things could have been different. In his dream he hadn't broken up with Naruto, but gone through with kissing him and… other things -hot and steamy things – taking his mind thoroughly off his plans of a divorce. In his dream he'd sworn never to leave again but to fight for Naruto and stay with him in Konoha.

God, what a stupid dream. Being confronted with all the things he wanted and yet knew he couldn't have, had not made his situation any easier nor did his lack of rest. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get Naruto off his mind. This had to stop and the only way it would, was to get Naruto to sign the papers, so Sasuke could go back to Tokyo and bring some distance between them.

The longer he stayed this close, the higher the risk that his resolves would crumble.

Shaking his head, he looked at the papers on his desk. All it took was a small signature and their marriage would be over. How could something so strong be so fragile at the same time? It was the worst thing that could happen and yet the one he strived after. And it was the hardest thing he'd done so far in his life.

He felt torn. Torn between his love and his duty.

Determined to finish things today, he got out of bed and into the shower. He knew Naruto probably wasn't awake yet, so it wouldn't make sense to show up on his door step again. Besides, he was likely to throw the door in Sasuke's face if he did.

No, he had to confront his husband in a situation, were he couldn't just lock him out. Some place not too private and yet not too public as well. Like a dojo. If he showed up early enough the only one present besides them would be Gaara and Sasuke couldn't care less what the red haired man thought about him.

With his plan set up in his mind, Sasuke got dressed and decided to work for a few hour before he had to go and see Naruto again. It didn't matter that he wasn't in Tokyo; he had of course brought some work files with him. Fugaku would under no circumstances allow him to let his work slide, especially because he thought that Sasuke was on a business trip.

However, working wasn't that easy when all you could think about was either the unpleasant things you had to do soon or the disturbing dream you'd had last night. Neither thought allowed Sasuke to concentrate on the many numbers and calculations in front of him and after what felt like hours, but actually wasn't even one, he gave up and decided to try his luck and drive to Naruto's dojo.

It was late midmorning and most people were already at work, leaving the streets pleasantly unoccupied, which made Sasuke's drive shorter than expected. At first, he assumed he was too early, but Naruto's car was already parked in front of the traditional Japanese looking building. Sasuke liked the design pretty much. It reminded him of the school he and Naruto had trained in as teenagers and he briefly wondered, if Jiraiya still taught there. Sasuke hadn't seen nor heard about the old man since he'd left, but then again they'd never been too close.

Naruto on the other hand was very fond of Jiraiya and Sasuke could only guess how proud the old perv must be, seeing his most prized student with a dojo of his own, teaching children and adolescents alike.

As he'd expected, the doors weren't locked and Sasuke could easily enter the building, with its slightly traditional atmosphere. Everything was calm and steady, almost serene. He liked the order and rectilinearity of the place. No redundant frills and decorations, just plain wood and stone. The best environment to fully concentrate on your body and its capabilities.

Given the early hour, Sasuke expected Naruto to be in the office, for there wouldn't be any students to train before afternoon, yet no one answered when he knocked at the corresponding door, which left him with the thought that maybe his husband was already in the training hall, preparing for his later classes.

The largest room in the building wasn't hard to find, especially not, since as soon as Sasuke had rounded another corner, he could hear the characteristic sounds of people sparing. Naruto had always gone to the gym in times of turmoil and it shouldn't surprise Sasuke that he resorted to physical distraction now.

He opened the door and stopped on the threshold, careful not to disturb the two men inside. Naruto and Gaara hadn't noticed him yet and Sasuke wanted things to stay like that – at least for now. This way he had time to watch his husband fight one last time and he had to admit, it was worth it. Naruto was still as powerful as five years ago, if not more so. His movements were almost elegant, as he dodged one of Gaara's kicks and used the momentum to deliver a vigorous blow, which his opponent only barely avoided.

Sasuke had seen his husband fight so many times before, but never had he taken in all the little things about it as much as he did now. The expression of complete and utter concentration and determination on Naruto's face. The way his strong muscles moved under the tan skin. How his thin tank top hugged the well-defined chest and abs. It was alluring.

He wanted to possess that man, every ounce of his body and soul, so much that he could almost feel his resolutions break under the weight of it. Only his father's threats to destroy Naruto's life kept him from throwing every thought about the divorce out of the window and fuck Naruto right here, right now – Gaara or not.

Fortunately the two men stopped, before the last of Sasuke's willpower could break under the pressure of his suddenly awakened libido. Of course he should have known that Naruto would have that kind of impact on him. It had always been like that. No matter what Naruto had done so far in his life, Sasuke had always feel that dark urge to utterly possess him, first as his only friend and then as his lover – his only lover. Ever. No one was to touch his Naruto.

"Well, that certainly helped", Naruto said, still unaware of Sasuke presence, taking a towel from one of the benches on the long side of the gym.
"Glad it did", Gaara said, stretching his muscles again, before turning towards the door. His gaze fell on Sasuke, who hadn't moved from his position, holding the envelope with the divorce papers in, as if his life depended on it – or rather Naruto's.

"What are you doing here?", Gaara asked, finally making his best friend aware of their visitor. Naruto's face instantly fell as he turned to the man in the doorway.
"That's none of your business. I'm here to talk to Naruto", Sasuke answered unmoving, his onyx eyes locked on his husband.
Gaara huffed. "It's very well my business if you keep hurting my best friend, Uchiha".

Sasuke just ignored him and finally started to move, walking directly towards Naruto, as if there was no one besides them in the room. "I need you to sign this", he said, handing the envelope over.
Naruto frowned at him, but took the papers nonetheless.
"What is this?", he asked, his voice hard and suspicious.
"What do you think it is? The divorce papers of course", Sasuke said, trying to sound unimpressed; as if ending this marriage was just an everyday thing to him.

Blue eyes darkened, whether from pain or anger, Sasuke couldn't tell, but it was unnerving either way. He watched as Naruto silently took the papers out of the manila envelope.
"Why are you giving me this?", he asked, and this time Sasuke could hear the supressed pain in his voice.
"I hoped that, after thinking about it for a night, you might want to agree to this", he answered steadying himself for the storm he knew was to come, when he saw the change in Naruto's posture.
"Just in case you didn't realize, asshole. I was drunk last night. I texted you – more than once. And don't tell me you didn't get them! You know I didn't think about anything last night! And if I had, my answer would still be the same: I am not signing this!"

"Why not? Why do you prefer to suffer, instead of just ending this?", Sasuke asked back, his own feelings not as calm as he wished them to be.

Naruto sighed and turned away, his eyes looking at something only he could see. Gaara remained silent, watching the exchange between the two men without interfering. He knew his best friend well enough to stay out of thing like this. Naruto would want to handle Sasuke on his own.
"Because I love you, teme. I haven't given up on us yet", he said softer than before and then turned back to face Sasuke again. "I won't let you go, just so you can marry a girl who will never make you happy. Not when I know that you still have feelings for me".

Sasuke swallowed hard, his heart beating fast in his throat. "Stop being naïve, Naruto. This is not how life works. Sometimes we just have to do things, and I want you to accept my decision and sign those fucking papers. I'm not joking here. I want marry her".
"And why? Why would you want that, when you're not even into women?",
"Because she can give me the one thing you never will", he said, knowing how unfair it was to play this one last card, but he honestly was desperate and if he wanted to protect Naruto in the future, he needed that signature.
"And what would that be?", Naruto demanded, arms crossed.
"Kids"

Naruto looked as if Sasuke had just slapped him in the face and for a split second he feared he'd gone too far and made him cry, but instead Naruto's features hardened even further and the now dark blue eyes stared at him in a way Sasuke had never imagined to find them looking at him. Gone were all the love, affection and fondness, only to be replaced by something the reminded him of disgust. Without ever breaking their eye contact, Naruto ripped the papers in his hands up, throwing them at Sasuke, the small, white and black shreds raining down in front of him as if to mock him.

"Fuck you, Sasuke. There you got your answer. Do you think this is funny? Letting me suffer for five years only to end things now? I've been waiting for you, you know? I missed you every fucking day! And yet, I never gave up hope! Until yesterday, I really thought you'd come back to me! I was so glad when you finally showed up! But you ruined everything! You made me wait for five fucking years and now you're breaking up with me! How can you do that? The Sasuke I knew would never do such a thing! He would never just abandon me! I don't know you anymore! I can't stand you! Now get out", panting heavily and shaking from emotion Naruto clenched his fists to keep himself from hitting his husband. All the pain and loneliness from the past years threatened to burst out of him and the tears were already burning behind in his eyes. He was so tired of this. Tired of being hurt and abandoned all over again. He couldn't bear it.

"Naruto-", Sasuke began, only to be interrupted immediately.
"No, Sasuke. I'm done with this. I want you to get the fuck out and only come back when you're in your right mind again. This is madness and I'm sick of it".

Sasuke knew there was nothing he could say or do right now, to make Naruto change his mind. He just sighed and turned to leave. It wasn't fair, he knew it, and hearing those words from the man he loved, confirming what he had always feared the most, hurt so much. All he wanted to do was to hold him in his arms and tell him everything would be fine soon and that they'd be together again, but he couldn't do that. He couldn't risk Naruto's subsistence. And so he left, knowing that he had hurt the one person he really cared about and that nothing in the world could make things right again.

Naruto sank onto a bench, shaking from head to toe, face buried in his hands, with Gaara beside him.
"Why?", he said his voice too high and too rough at the same time. He felt like crying, but didn't want to. "Why does he do this? What did I do to him?"
"Nothing", Gaara said, putting an arm around his best friend's shoulders in a rare gesture of affection that made Naruto raise his head to look at him.

For the past years Gaara had always been there for him, keeping up with his ups and downs about Sasuke, never once complaining. And Naruto was no fool, he knew about Gaara's feelings for him; knew that, without Sasuke, there would be a chance for them to be together.

Those clear green eyes looked at him, neither hard nor soft, just considerate. It would be so easy to just close what little distance was left between them and kiss him. A relationship with Gaara promised everything Naruto could ever hope for. All the things Sasuke wouldn't give him. Gaara would never abandon him; he was loyal and cared deeply about Naruto.

For a moment he really thought about doing it – kissing his best friend. He knew it was selfish, but the thought of being with someone who would really love him was so tempting right now. He raised a hand to grab the collar of Gaara's shirt. It was still a little damp from when they'd sparred.

"Naruto don't", Gaara said softly, guessing correctly what his best friend was about to do. "You're upset, not in love with me. Kissing me would do you no good".

Naruto let go of the fabric and averted his gaze. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried", he muttered, feeling even worse than before.
"It's okay. You're hurt"
"Why Gaara? Why can't I just fall in love with you? You're always there for me… you would never just leave me… why do I have to love him?"
"We cannot choose who we love, Naruto. I have long since accepted that your heart belongs to him. I'm fine with just being friends".
"But I'm not! I want to be with you… I know we'd be good together… If only I could let him go".
"Stop beating yourself up about this. Maybe you and him… maybe you are meant to be".

Naruto looked at him, thinking about the words for a moment. Meant to be? Could that be true? But what good would it do him, if Sasuke couldn't see things this way? Should he give up and let Sasuke go, or should he keep on fighting, in the hope that one day his husband would finally see reason?

Well, shit.

That had again been a dead loss. Instead of getting Naruto so sign the papers, things had only gotten worse between them. He could of course reprint the papers anytime, no problem there. But getting close enough to Naruto to even talk to him about it would be a pain in the ass from now on.

And even apart from this, Sasuke felt absolutely shitty. Naruto's words had hit all the right spots, making him feel guilty on end. He'd never wanted to hurt him, but again it seemed like he wouldn't have a choice on the matter. For now, all he wanted was to forget. Maybe he should make use of the fitness room in the basement of the hotel and try to focus on something other than the quandary he was currently in.

However, as he opened the door to his room, he found it already occupied. There, on the edge of his bed, sat none other than his dear big brother Itachi. Annoyance would put, what he felt at the sight of his brother, nicely.
"What do you want?", he asked, getting out of his jacket to throw it over the backrest of a nearby chair.

"It's good to see you too, Otouto", Itachi said, sounding a little amused, his dark eyes following Sasuke, as he took off his shoes as well.
"Stop being smug. You obviously followed me. Why?", Sasuke snapped, feeling extremely on edge.
"Because I think you're making a mistake here", Itachi finally answered now more seriously.
"I'm not. I'm just doing what's necessary".
"Ah, yes. Tell me, does your husband agree with that? Did he sign the papers yet?"

Sasuke crossed his arms in front of his chest in a defensive gesture. After his encounter with Naruto, the last thing he needed was Itachi's nagging questioning. He didn't want to justify his decisions, when no one would be able to understand why he'd made them in the first place.
"No, he didn't. Now stop asking".

Itachi sighed and got up from the bed to stand right in front of Sasuke. He was still a few inches taller than him, but with the same deep, dark eyes, reflecting Sasuke's feelings like a mirror he didn't want to look in.
"Did he tell you why he wouldn't sign them?"

"Didn't I just tell you, to stop nagging? I don't wanna talk about it. But if you have to know, he doesn't sign them because he's stupid. As always", Sasuke knew he sounded like a spoilt five year old, but his nerves felt so raw from what had happened in the last three days and he really wanted to forget about it all.
"I don't think that's the reason, Otouto", Itachi replied patiently. "I think, he knows what I know. You're lying. Not only to me, or to him, neither of us would care about that, but to yourself".
"How could you know that? You haven't seen him since the wedding!"
"You're right. But I saw the two of you grow up. Believe me, when I say that I know Naruto. He only wants, what's best for you. And that girl isn't".

Sasuke knew Itachi was right, but it only made him feel all the more desperate. Naruto… his Naruto… he was willing to suffer even more… just to make Sasuke happy. But that wasn't how things were supposed to be! This time Sasuke had to be the one to sacrifice something. He had to take care of Naruto's happiness, because he only wanted what was best for him!

It was all too much. "What's best for me?", he almost yelled, feeling the mask of indifference finally break. He knew he couldn't bear it any longer; knew everything would finally break out of him. "I don't care what's best for me! I want what's best for Naruto! That's why I'm here!"
"Then tell me, Otouto. What is best for him?", Itachi asked calmly as if his brother hadn't just shown his true feelings for the first time.
"It's best for him that I stay away from him, so father doesn't have a reason to harm him!"

Itachi frowned at his brother and for the first time seemed seriously worried. "Father?", he asked. "What does he have to do with everything?".

Sasuke sighed. He'd already said too much, so why keep it a secret anymore? He'd always known that sooner or later he'd have to tell Itachi and maybe that time had now finally come. He had to tell the truth – all of it.

"Remember when I came to Tokyo five years ago? I didn't do it, because I wanted to, but because I had to. Father made me leave Konoha. He threatened to ruin Naruto's life. Naruto was still at College and all it took was one call from father to end his career before it had even started. He would have gotten expelled, if father had gone through with his threats. I couldn't risk that. Naruto fought so hard for everything in his life, who am I to take that from him? So I agreed to come to Tokyo and never look back. And I didn't until father demanded I'd marry Karin.
Now you know everything… you know what he has over me… I can't risk everything Naruto ever gained in his life just because I want to be with him", Sasuke couldn't remember when he'd last said this much all at once, but it felt good to finally share his secret with someone, so he wouldn't have to carry the burden all on his own.

Itachi looked at him full of sadness and regret. "Sasuke…", he whispered. "Why didn't you come to me? I would have helped you. Together, we would have found a solution for this"
"No, Itachi. This was my duty as his husband and mine alone. And it still is. I will divorce him, to keep him from father's harm".
"I don't think that's necessary Sasuke"
"What? Why?"
"Look at him. He's not as vulnerable as he was five years ago. He leads a successful dojo and can very well fend for himself. And before you disagree, let me finish. I know what you're thinking – that father could even ruin that. But I don't think he can. Sabaku Gaara is the son of the mayor of Suna. When it comes to politics and power, his family is as influential as ours. If Naruto were to go down, Sabaku would go down with him, because they are in this together and Sabaku Rasa will never let that happen, no matter how estranged the relationship with his son might be", Itachi explained almost hopeful. He really wanted Sasuke to see what he saw – a chance.

If his little brother let go of his stupid plan to divorce Naruto and embraced the possibility that they could be together again, things might really change for the better. They would have to fight for it of course, but wasn't love worth the fight?

"I… I'm not sure… what if… what if father finds a way to get to Naruto without involving Sabaku? Rasa wouldn't raise one finger to save his son's friend", he said, torn between hope and doubt.
"There is always a risk, but I think it's small. And even if something goes wrong, Naruto still has you. Think about it, Sasuke. If you take that risk, you might get your life and your love back".

Sasuke stood frozen in place, just looking at Itachi while the meaning of his words sunk deep into his mind. Could he take that risk? Was it worth it? Every ounce of his being wanted to be with Naruto and if there was only the slightest chance of outfoxing Fugaku, shouldn't he be happy to take it? All his dreams suddenly seemed within reach again.

He had to make a decision, and he had to make it soon.

To be continued…

So Itachi opened his brother's eyes and made him see what was lost on him *g*. Yeah, that's exactly how I imagine him to work his magic, by pointing out the obvious. I really hope you liked it. Let me know what you think and stay to tuned!