"To be knocked out doesn't mean what it seems. A boxer does not have to get up." - Joyce Carol Oates
The next morning Brittany went to the gym. She was still on a high from making up with Santana last night, and she wanted to go see Wes while she was still in a good mood. She wasn't even sure what Wes had heard, or what he knew, but she figured he had been informed somewhat. She also wanted to speak to Donally in person.
She walked as fast as her fractured ribs would allow and was mildly surprised to find herself wishing she was heading over to practice, not just to talk.
The familiar, yet somewhat gross, humidity of the small gym enveloped her as she pushed through the front door. There were a few people already working out towards the back. She spotted Wes and made her way towards him. The guy he was training saw Brittany approach first and let up slightly, his eyes flickering from Wes to Brittany with a subtle nod of his head. Wes turned and saw Brittany, his brow creasing slightly.
"Give us a sec," he said to the guy he was with gruffly as Brittany got closer. The guy nodded and headed towards a pair of guys sparring in the small ring towards the front of the gym.
"Hey," Brittany kicked at the ground with her shoes, her eyes looking anywhere but Wes. Her trainer remained silent, waiting for her to continue. Finally Brittany looked up, meeting her trainer, and good friend's, eyes. She knew he knew she was involved and the betrayal was clear on his face.
"I - I really don't know what to say. Besides that I'm sorry. Terribly, terribly, sorry." Her voice cracked and she swallowed hard before continuing, trying to ignore the hardness behind Wes' eyes and the way his muscled arms crossed over his chest. "I got in over my head in something I shouldn't have even touched in the first place. I know I shouldn't make excuses, but I was only thinking about my family. Betto brought them into it, I don't know how he even knew about them, but..." Brittany trailed off and shrugged.
Wes sighed and uncrossed his arms. "You fucked up big time," he said.
"I know that," Brittany said weakly. That was the only thing she was sure of at this point.
"I want to ask about it and yet I don't," Wes said, maybe more to himself than to Brittany.
"Well, I'm a desperately open book now, so anything you want to know, I'll tell you."
He eyed her, still debating if he wanted to talk about it. "Maybe another time. Or maybe not. Anyway, what's going on now? With his whole arrest and everything. What's your part?"
Brittany sighed, shifting her weight where she stood. "I'm cooperating with the cops to help them nail Betto. I might have to testify if it goes to trial. But really I don't know what's going on anymore."
"And when you coming back to the gym?"
Brittany was caught off guard by the question. Donally had picked up on the fact that she'd gotten the shit beat out of her by Betto, but it must not have pinged on Wes' radar. Why should it have? Brittany didn't know the extent of his knowledge on the situation - Donally was definitely aware of what was going on, but he may not have shared it all with Wes. She realized that what she was about to say would have come out eventually, but she still felt unprepared.
"About that...I think I'm done with boxing."
Wes' eyebrows shot upwards.
"After all this, I just, I need something different." Brittany licked her lips, chancing a glance around the gym before looking back to Wes. Suddenly he snorted with laughter.
"And you've told Donally this?" He quirked an eyebrow.
She felt childlishly defensive at his skepticism. "No, not yet, but I'm going to before I leave."
"I'll be interested to see how he takes it." Wes scratched the back of his neck. "So, what's next for you then?"
"I'm not sure. I think I'm going to move - get a full change of scenery."
Wes frowned but didn't say anything. Brittany felt bad. It was a lot to drop on him in one shot, and she would definitely miss seeing Wes regularly.
"What about your lady friend?" Now he wore a small smirk, recovering from the last statement quickly. Brittany couldn't help but grin, even though she was worried about that situation as well.
"I'm not sure about that either. I like her a lot, but, I don't know what's gonna happen there."
Wes smiled gently. "I'm sure you'll figure something out. You're pretty smart. Sometimes. Even after all those blows to the head."
Brittany smiled and rolled her eyes.
"Well, don't be a stranger, okay? And good luck telling Jack Donally you're done," Wes grinned, eyeing the office door.
"Yeah...if I'm not out of there in 15 minutes, make sure I'm still alive, 'kay?"
"Will do." She started to turn to walk to Donally's office but hesitated. "I'm sorry again, Wes."
Wes only nodded, accepting Brittany's apology, at least on the surface level. She pursed her lips and made her way to the office door. She knocked lightly and was greeted with a grunt that meant 'come in'.
Donally looked up with intrigued surprise as Brittany closed the door behind her. She sat down in a chair facing Donally's desk, finding herself more nervous than she thought.
"Before you say anything, I'm just here to tell you that once this Betto stuff wraps up, I'm done with boxing." Brittany blurted the statement out. Donally took his time before responding. He leaned back in his chair, toying with the pen between his fingers.
"Okay," he finally sighed.
"Okay?"
"Okay," he repeated, smiling faintly at the surprise on Brittany's face.
Brittany was surprised now, almost offended. No one just up and quit Donally's company. You either fucked up so bad he got rid of you himself, or...or...Brittany didn't even know what. It just didn't happen. It's why she had been so nervous in the first place.
"That's it?" She asked, almost incredulously.
He laughed. "Are you getting upset with me for letting you go?"
Brittany was quick to shake her head. "N-No, I'm just confused."
"Well, don't be. I can't blame you for wanting out, really. Even for this business, you've been through a lot, and I understand you want to be done with it. I know this wasn't your first choice on how to put bread on the table, so..."
Memories of that day in the park years ago flooded Brittany's mind. Donally coming over, giving her his card. The days of debating on whether or not to agree to work with him. For him. She felt a sudden rush of gratitude for the man. He was right, she hadn't wanted this, but he had still provided her and her family with a steady means for food and basic necessities. She went through hell in return, but he had always been kinder to her than he was to most.
Brittany stood. "Thanks Jack." She extended her hand across the desk towards him.
Donally stood to meet her, a small smile on his lips. He shook her hand firmly. "Now get out of here before I change my mind," he jerked his head towards the door. Brittany was quick to take up his suggestion, and turned to leave the office. She left the gym, not risking a look back towards Wes.
She felt lighter as she left the gym, the brisk air hitting her like a refreshing wave after the stickiness of the gym.
Back in her apartment Brittany kicked off her shoes and laid back on her couch. Not long after she had settled down, her duck phone quacked, and she reached over to pull the phone towards her. She picked up, still relaxing on the couch.
"Hello?"
"Hello, I'm looking for Brittany Pierce?" A woman's voice came over the line. It sounded familiar.
"You got her," Brittany responded.
"Oh, hi Brittany, it's Julia Riter."
"Oh! Hi Julia. What's up?" Brittany was suddenly nervous.
"Just calling to give you some news. It looks like Ricky Betto's case is being settled out of court, so you won't have to testify in court, they're just using your written testimony from that night at the police station."
Brittany's jaw dropped before she let out a loud laugh. Relief flooded her. No court. With a grin she pictured the cops and how pissed they must be Betto wasn't going to see a judge. Suddenly another thought crossed her mind and she became serious again.
"But, well wait - he's still going to get jail time, right?" What if he only got probation or something. Fear crept through her chest and she hated it.
"He's definitely getting jail time, I'm not sure how long, but he's definitely going to have a nice little vacation," Julia reassured.
Brittany nodded. "Okay, well, that's good."
"Yep, I just wanted to let you know you're in the clear."
"Thank you so much, Julia."
"Of course. Just doing my job."
"Well, thanks for doing it well." Brittany smiled and they hung up.
She fought the overwhelming sense of happiness that wanted so badly to take her over. She wanted it but was scared to let herself feel too good. She didn't trust herself or the world around her to not take it away from her. Instead she picked the phone back up and called Santana's number. She couldn't help but feel a little giddy when she answered.
"Hey you,"
"Hey Santana,"
"What's up?"
"I just wanted to know if you wanted to come hang out?"
Santana chuckled a little. "Hang out?"
Brittany smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I dunno, just hang out for a little. Unless you're busy right now," Brittany felt silly, but they had never really just casually hung out, and she wanted to spend as much time with Santana as she possibly could. The idea of moving tugged at the corner of her mind, but she shook the thought.
"You're in luck, I just got home and don't have any plans at the moment."
"It's my lucky day," Brittany grinned wide, letting herself believe it for a second.
"I'll come over in a few. You can buzz me up from your apartment, right?"
"Yeah,"
"Okay, see you soon,"
Brittany thought she could hear Santana smiling through the phone. "See you,"
They hung up and Brittany got up to clean the few dishes sitting in her sink. About 15 minutes later she heard the chime of her box number being called. She hit the button on the intercom that opened the front door and waited for the knock at her apartment door.
Brittany opened the door for Santana and pulled her in quickly, closing the door behind her and pinning Santana against it. She ducked down quickly and kissed her, unable to stop smiling as she felt Santana's lips turn upwards into the kiss. When she pulled back Santana raised an eyebrow at her.
"Someone's in a good mood," she commented. Brittany grinned.
"I've just had a good morning," shrugged as she sat down on the couch. She motioned for Santana to join her. Santana shrugged off her coat before sitting next to Brittany. She curled up against Brittany, trying to remember which side her ribs were fractured on. Brittany noticed her hesitation.
"You're good," she murmured reassuringly, the small action only fueling her giddiness as Santana smiled and settled against her fully. "What'd you do this morning?" She asked Santana as she wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
Santana didn't answer immediately. Instead she rested her head against Brittany's chest, looking down into her lap.
"I broke it off with Ricky. For good," she said quietly, still looking down.
Brittany licked her lips, unsure of what to say. She was happy, but also didn't want to seem insensitive. She placed a soft kiss into Santana's hair while her mind raced.
"It was hard, well, harder than I thought it'd be, and he wasn't happy, obviously, but, I needed to do it," Santana continued, tucking herself even closer into Brittany.
When Brittany still didn't say anything, Santana pulled back a little and looked up at her. She cupped Brittany's cheek with the hand that wasnt caught between her and the couch.
"Hey," Santana said softly, coaxing Brittany to meet her eyes. "You can be happy about it, you know. If you're happy, that is," Santana smiled slightly.
"I'm happy if you're happy," Brittany met Santana's gaze. Santana's eyes held Brittany's clear blue ones for a moment before she tilted her head up, pressing their lips together softly. They kissed slowly for a little, and Santana moved over slowly so she was straddling Brittany's lap without breaking the kiss.
She opened her mouth as Brittany's tongue sought permission to explore, flitting hungrily across Santana's lips. Brittany's body heated quickly, desire flooding her as Santana's hands cupped her neck, fingers splayed across soft skin as they kissed. Brittany's hands rested on Santana's hips.
She knew she should stop. Well, she didn't know that, but she figured she should. For some reason she didn't want things to get too intimate again until she told Santana that she was moving. Or that she wanted to move. It felt important, and she finally got herself to pull back from Santana.
Brittany rested her head against the couch, looking up at Santana who was breathing hard, a puzzled look on her face. Brittany rolled her lips inwards as she thought. Santana tucked her hair behind her ears, still confused as to why Brittany had stopped kissing her.
"This is going to be a total killjoy, but I want to be honest with you, cause, you know, I'm trying that whole 100% honestly thing," Brittany grinned sheepishly. Santana smiled a little, worry still etched on her features.
"I'm thinking of moving. Like, far away kind of moving, not a block away moving."
Santana's body slumped slightly, her hands still resting on Brittany's neck.
"I just need to get away from all this, you know? Start fresh. Erase all the crap I've been through, or put myself through, and start a clean slate." Brittany thumbed the material of Santana's shirt, looking down as she licked her lips. "But," she looked up again. "There's one thing I don't want to erase," she brought one of her hands up to Santana's cheek. Santana's breath hitched as Brittany ran a thumb over her cheekbone.
"But I also know I can't ask you to move or anything, that's crazy, and I just don't know what to do..."
"Britt...I..." Santana bit her bottom lip.
"I know, wow this was stupid of me, I'm sorry, I just - shouldn't have brought it up," Brittany shook her head at herself.
"No, no, it wasn't stupid," Santana smiled, dipping her head a little so Brittany looked at her again. "When were you thinking of moving?"
"Um, I dunno...I haven't even looked at anything yet," Brittany admitted.
Santana chuckled. "Okay, well why don't you keep me posted on that?" Santana teased gently as she leaned down to kiss Brittany again.
"Okay," Brittany agreed against Santana's lips.
She felt better again. She still felt foolish for telling Santana, but Santana had made her feel okay about it. There were no commitments made or broken, nothing laid in concrete. Brittany was nervous at the uncertainty of everything, but she let herself forget about her worries as Santana adjusted herself in her lap.
Brittany smiled against her lips and turned them so that Santana fell back onto the couch. She let out a small gasp but smiled as Brittany settled over her, leaning down to kiss her again. Brittany ignored the pain that shot through her ribs. She considered the fact that sex was considered a physical activity, but Santana's lips convinced her otherwise.
"You said I could be happy, right?" Brittany asked between kisses. The question felt heavy, but she hoped Santana knew she was referring back to their conversation from minutes ago.
"Mhm," Santana hummed.
"Are you happy?" Brittany asked, hovering over Santana. Her hair fell down around her face and Santana's, making their close proximity feel even closer. They were in their own little world, sheltered by a curved shield of blonde.
"I'm happy," Santana whispered, her voice throaty as her eyes scanned Brittany's.
Brittany smiled, her pulse quickening as she leaned back down.
"Me too."