Scene switches to outside the pie shop. Mrs. Lovett is telling Sweeney, who has an ice pack on his head, about Toby.
Mrs. Lovett: So I locked him in the bake house until you could deal with him. If he escapes we're both fucked!
Sweeney: Little brat deserves to have his throat cut. He didn't leave me any gin to drown my sorrows in.
Mrs. Lovett turns to enter the shop, but shrieks as the Beadle suddenly appears in the doorway.
Mrs. Lovett: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
Beadle: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
Mrs. Lovett: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
Beadle: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
Sweeney: SHUT UP!! Both of you!! Aagghh!
Mrs. Lovett: What brings you here, Beadle?
Beadle: singing like a munchkin I represent the Public Health Relations!
Sweeney: How dare you steal from Robin Williams! And wrong musical!!
Beadle: Oh well, to put it simply, your chimney stinks like a crematorium so now I have to investigate. Mind if I take a gander at your bake house?
Mrs. Lovett: Uh…PANIC!
Sweeney: Why of course not. But how 'bout I fix you a sandwich and pamper you before we begin the murder...I mean observer…ing…ness? Ahem.
Beadle: Maybe after I finish my job…
Sweeney: I'm sure Judge Turpin would greatly appreciate some cologne on you, sir.
Beadle: …What have you got?
Sweeney: Axe.
Beadle: Bow-Chika-Wow-Wow!!
He bolts up the stairs and up to the barbershop. Sweeny follows, grinning evilly. The Beadle starts singing "I feel pretty" at the top of his lungs as Sweeney follows and shuts the door.
Mrs. Lovett: Wrong musical!!
Scene switches to inside the bake house. Toby is taking a break from the grinder and is stuffing his face full of pies.
Toby: Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum! choke Wait a sec…
He reaches into his mouth and pulls out half a human hand.
Toby: What the-?!
The trap door in the ceiling opens up, and a now dead Beadle smashes to the floor with remnants of a sandwich still hanging from his mouth. A photo of Turpin with hearts drawn on it flutters to the floor beside him.
Toby: MOTHER FUCKER!!
He flees into one of the sewer grates. A second later, Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney enter.
Mrs. Lovett: Toby? You here? Oh fuck, where is he?
Sweeney: We know you're 'eeeeeeeerrre, poppet!
Mrs. Lovett: Wrong movie, love.
They enter the sewers.
Mrs. Lovett: singing Toby, where are you, love? Nothing's gonna harm you-
Sweeney: lifting razor and singing UNLESS I'M AROUND!! Mwahhahhahhahahahaw!!
Mrs. Lovett: Ugh! You're not helping, Mr. T. Go search over there!!
She points to a random tunnel. Sweeney shrugs and vanishes into the dark.
Mrs. Lovett: But watch out. It's a bit-
Sweeney: Aagghh! boom, splash
Mrs. Lovett: …slippery…You alright Mr. T?
Sweeney: …Mrs. Lovett could you do me favor? Go get my medical book and look up "Barber's knife in left lung."
Mrs. Lovett: Alright. Why?
Sweeney: Time's a factor here, Mrs. Lovett.
The scene switches to Mr. T's shop. Anthony and Johanna rush in. Johanna is now dressed up as a sailor boy, with her hair hidden under a hat.
Anthony: There, you're safe now. Just wait here. I'll get a taxi and we'll finally be free.
Johanna: But this place smells like the Beadle! And I look like a dude!!
Anthony: But no one will recognize you. You're safe and we'll be gone soon.
Johanna: Safe…so we run away and all out dreams come true.
Anthony: I hope so.
Johanna: Why does this sound like a Disney movie?? Besides, I only have nightmares.
Anthony: Wow. You're emo! But no worries. Be back in a flash!
He runs out the door. Johanna stands there for a moment and looks around.
Johanna: Ew, what a dump. Doesn't this guy know how to vacuum once in a- sees razors OOOHH!! SHINY!!
She picks one up and drools over it. Like father like daughter, lol!! We suddenly hear the beggar woman singing outside. Johanna freaks and hides n the chest just as the beggar woman enters.
Beggar Woman: singing Beadle-eadle-eadle-eadle dumpling!! Allms!! City on fire!! ALLMMMSS!! NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!!
Johanna: Wrong musical!!
Sweeney suddenly appears in the doorway. There' a Pokemon band-aid on his chest and he looks super pissed!
Sweeney: What are you doing here?
Beggar Woman: ALMS MOTHER FUCKER!! Hey, don't I know you mister?
Sweeney freezes as Turpin's voice is heard outside.
Turpin: Mr. Todd!!
Sweeney: Damnit!! Aagghh!! Die byothch!!
He quickly slices the beggar woman's throat and sends her through the trap door. Turpin enters waving around a piece of paper and singing like Carlotta from Phantom of the Opera.
Turpin: singing I have a letter, a letter which I rather resent! And did you send it??
Sweeney: singing Of course not!
Turpin: singing You didn't send it?
Sweeney: singing Of course not!
Turpin: singing You mean to tell me that this is not the letter you sent?
Sweeney: Dude, wrong musical.
He takes the letter and reads it.
Sweeney: "Your days at the Opera Populaire are numbered…?" WTF? I didn't send this!! And who the hell is Christine Daae??
Turpin: Oh I guess that's not your letter. Silly me. But I did get a message about Johanna. My darling-baby-bunka-bunka-boo will be here soon, right?
Sweeney: Of course!!
Turpin: gets heart in eyes Excellent, my friend!
Sweeney: …How 'bout a shave?
Turpin: Random question, but why not?
Turpin sits in the chair, singing about pretty women…again. Sweeney drapes a sheet over him and takes out a razor.
Turpin: How seldom it is we meet a fellow man with similar tastes.
Sweeney: darkly Similar tastes…in women at least…
Turpin: ...eh?
Sweeney: The years no doubt have changed me.
Turpin: fear OMFG!! Benjamin Barker!!
Sweeney: BENJMAMIN FUCKING BARKER!! AAARRRRRGGGHH!! stabby rip stab stab slice
Turpin: gag, gurgle, bleed
Sweeney, now covered in Turpin's blood, sends the judge through the trap door. He pauses for a moment, and then starts to rub his body with the blood in ecstasy.
Sweeney: sigh I'm feeling better already. Ooh!
He bends down and picks something off the floor.
Sweeney: My peanut. eats
Johanna: achoo!!
Sweeney: Another one??
He runs over to the chest and opens it to see Johanna cowering with her hair now loose from the hat.
Johanna: I saw nothing! NOTHING!!
Sweeney: shock My God…
Johanna: …??
Sweeney: Your hair…
He picks her up by her shirt and throws her in his chair. Sweeney towers over herm raising his blade and blocking Johanna from our view. We hear snipping sounds, then Sweeney moves away from Johanna with a triumphant grin.
Sweeney: There! Your bangs are no longer in your eyes!!
Johanna: horrified
Sweeney: leading her to the door Okay, love, time to leave. Oh, I almost forgot.
He digs around his coat pockets. Johanna gasps as he extends his arm to her.
Sweeney: Here's a lollipop! And-
He turns around and opens a box from the floorboard.
Johanna: gasp
He pulls out a balloon and blows it up, ties it, and gives it to her.
Sweeney: That's for being a brave little girly!
Johanna: …..thank you….?
Suddenly Mrs. Lovett is heard screaming bloody murder from the bake house.
Sweeney: Oh dear. Must be off!! Bye now!!
He leads her outside and sprints into the pie shop. Johanna stands in shock until Anthony runs back up the stairs.
Anthony: I'm back. Hey, who cut your bangs?
Johanna: NO ONE!! LET"S GO!!
She drags him to the waiting carriage and shoves him in.
Anthony: Hey, where'd you get the balloon?
Johanna: DOESN"T MATTER!! sticks head out of carriage door Drive, man!! DDDRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVE!!
In the front seats, Sam and Kacee turn to face them. They grin wickedly and speed away.