AN: This is the best way Icould think to fit Jennasis in I hope you like it and don't mind the shortness or the changes! I own nothing please review!
-/-
Jenna lay sleeping. Ann stood watching her as she began to moan and thrash about. "No, no, no," she murmured and Ann shook her Awake. "Baby?"
"Just a nightmare Mama. Sorry."
"Don't be what's it about?"
"Jax dying." She shifted and set up in bed. "Like the fifth time I've had it."
"Well you and Jax have always been really connected and you are going through a lot just now, your mind is running away with you babe that's all."
"Connected. That we are, have you ever felt like you recognized somebody by their soul? Like its this automatic I know you feeling that you can't really explain."
"Why do you think you have Piney Winston's smile?" Ann smiled fondly
Jenna laughed. "Ya gotta love the cantankerous old fart."
"I do. Just like you love Jax no matter how much you are hurting right now." she sat on the bed placing her hand over Jenna's "That love, it'll never move. It will always be present."
Jenna's chin wobbled as she fought back a sob. Ann automatically thought of the little girl with scraped knees trying to be tough while Daddy fixed her up.
"I thought you'd be so glad Ma. You were right."
"I don't want to be if it means causing you pain Jennasis."
"I'm not sure I can be forgiving Mom."
"Just be healed. Forgiveness will come when its supposed too."
-/-
Jenna said she felt like crap and it wasn't exactly a lie she did feel like crap but it was mostly due to Jax's actions so when Tara offered to take care of the intake paper work at the shop she let her. She went to lay down in the club house but the smell of Jax on the sheets made it hard to sleep and she began to feel nauseous she couldn't decide if it was nerves or pregnancy making her feel that way she got up to go tell the prospect to buy her a Sprite and peanut butter crackers and found Lyla and Tara talking.
"You're supposed to be laying down." Tara stated.
"I tried, kid ain't havin' it." she looked over and noticed Lyla was some what pale. "You ok Ly?"
"Fine just a flu bug or something asking the doc's advice." Something about Lyla's expression set Jenna's radar off but she couldn't place it. She decided to let it go for now.
"Listen Jen, I'm real sorry about Ima." Lyla apologized.
Jenna shrugged, "Jax made his bed. A skanky disease filled bed I'm sure and now he'll get to lay in it. Doesn't reflect on you Lyla. Opie he was just pissed and you got in his way. I was told you slapped her, thank you for that by the way."
"It was my pleasure trust me."
"What did I miss?" Tara asked.
"Nothing much just that Jax fucked Ima, I know got what I deserved didn't I doc."
"I didn't say that."
"Didn't have to your face said it for you." Jenna snickered. "It's fine Tara I'd hate me too if someone else loved Jax and got what they wanted without caring whose toes got stepped on I'm a bitch I'll give you that but I've never fucked a married man that's the difference between what Jax and I did and what he did too me."
"One of the things I've always liked about you Jen is that you never try to be something you're not. You're honest. Its admirable don't let him talk you out of your feelings because he'll damn sure try."
"Thanks I think, Ma is dragging me out shop for the baby wanna go Lyla? Be my buffer?"
"Ha you guys are doing good I thought."
"We are its just she's Ma.""I'd love to but I can't I have an appointment,"
"Oh okay, need me to get the Winston spawn?"
"Nah I got em' thanks though."
"Alright well call me. I'm going to send the prospect for Sprite and lay down a bit."
"Jenny," Piney called having heard the conversation. "The couch isn't as comfortable but it won't smell like him." that simple statement and the fact that he knew what the problem was despite having not told him made her want to cry. "Thank you Daddy."
-/-
Jenna was worn out physically and mentally from shopping with her mother but she still couldn't sleep so she made some bread to work out her frustrations in the kneading. Still unsettled she went to the club house since she felt safer there.
-/-
She still wasn't speaking to him, so when he wondered back into the bedroom of the flop house after seeing Kellan Ashby he was surprised to see her face on Juice's laptop sitting at Bobby's old upright Steinway not paying any attention to whoever might be on the other end of the Skype, playing some tune he can't place. He listens as She fiddles around then starts to sing.
"Big brother said just run
He'll hurt you only to feel he's won
Leaving you to cry tears dyed blue.
But I couldn't move, no I cannot move.
There's this power undefined in loving you.
Tattoo my wings on and let me fly
Break me into pieces place me in a leather pocket
Its as close as I'll get to the truth
La da da dum -pfft and I'm stuck!"
She wasn't ready to forgive him he knew but maybe he could connect to her this way. He didn't play anymore after receiving so much bullshit from the guys about it being girly, but he'd always found it relaxing his mother said people like him needed physical action in order to decompress he guessed it was true.
"What was that? Its pretty" She jumped and looked up at the screen.
"Juice was supposed to be getting Opie for me."
"Well you know Juice has attention deficit oh shiny,"
Jenna laughed. "Damn it I need to stay mad at you."
"Really what was that?"
"Really I'm not talking to you." Jenna muttered.
"You have flour on your chin, and please just talk to me even if you are mad at me I need it!"
She wiped at her chin. " Fine its lyrical therapy, Bobby needs to tune this it sounds like crap."
" I'll tell him. Feeling kinda dark?"
"Wonder why?" she said sarcastically.
Tig walked in seeing them Opie and Clay had come in following the sound of what they thought was Jax talking to himself . "What the fuck are you doing?" Tig asked Jenna. "Did I bother you no piano at my place and I feel safer here. I didn't mean to wake you."
"Leave them alone." Clay ordered from the door way behind Jax.
"Looks to me like they are having a conversation which we interrupted and are all now leaving you too" Opie added. "dumbass." he continued muttering under his breath. Jenna couldn't tell if Opie was referring to Jax or Tig. It made her smile.
"Talk to me." Jax said pleadingly when they left.
"There are certain things you can't fix Jax and I seriously thought about paint balling your bike."
You wouldn't be the woman I loved if you didn't at least think it." Jax smirked.
"I think things like what's next…I never ever thought you'd do what you did. I thought you'd rather die than become the walking biker cliché that all the others are…"
"Babe-"
"You're that much closer to being Clay. The only difference is as least he's up front about being a huge prick."
"You're trying to piss me off Jenna. Trying to fight so you can stay mad." Jax gritted out.
"Oh come on you know he fucks around on your Mama. Seriously what's next Jax where do you draw the line huh? You don't knock me around or anything so it makes cheating ok right?"
"Jenna-"
"Think about it, think real hard and make a choice. Draw the line and walk it because if you don't I can always find someone who respects me more than you do now. Say Sunshine…Yeah I'd do it just to piss you off too. Draw the line Jax or I'll draw it for you and you won't like it when I do."
" Okay then, Feel better?"
"A tad."
"Good, now that I've talked to the pissed off wife how bout letting me talk to my best friend I kinda need her."
"Ok then cowboy, what's up?"
"Well the cliff notes version is…" He lit a cigarette inhaling deeply.
"We were almost deported I kicked Liam O'Neil's ass, I had to wait around for Kellan to tell me where the baby was only to find out that the same lovely priest is holding Abel hostage basically so I would kill Jimmy O in exchange.
"What the fuck?"
"I'm getting there babe…Ashby says good old Jim is power hungry and wants to push out the sons in favor of his." Jax used air quotes "Fight."
"Apparently, he's using kids as soldiers and IRA wants to kill him but can't without inciting a further war and I…the avenging father can."
"I know offing him isn't a issue for you."
"No something else is…"
"Ah, the agreement you made will be fucked."
"Bingo!"
"And Gemma goes to jail, you don't kill him and you're going to be easy to make for a rat."
"The woman's on a roll."
"Fuck what are we gonna do?"
"Don't know yet but they are giving me back my son."
"This scares me Jax."
He looked at her on the screen longing to touch her. "I need you to know something Jenna,"
"Jax-"
"No listen, I don't know what the consequences of my actions will be or how they will effect you and for that I'm sorry. I love you always, that never changes and never will."
"I love you Jax. Sometimes I wish it wasn't such a deep thing but I do."
He put out his cigarette raising his fingertips to his lips he kissed them.
"That's good enough for me babe. Now, get some sleep the sun's about to come up on your side of the world."
"Give everyone my love, be safe Jackson goodnight." she winked at him then his screen went blank.