I couldn't leave Iron Man on such a sad note.

Iron Man 2

"I can't believe you lost the car key — MY car key!" ranted Detective Danny Williams.

"I didn't do it on purpose," Steve McGarrett defended himself. He twisted his leg to show Danny the pocket of his cargo pants. It was ripped wide open.

"The pocket got torn on a piece of junk when I tackled this lolo," Steve said. He pointed at the handcuffed suspect who was kneeling on the ground but still smirking while he watched the Five-0 officers argue.

"You tore it on some junk?" Danny repeated. "This is a JUNKYARD, Steven! Anywhere you tackled him there was bound to be junk."

"Yeah, but it wouldn't have been so bad if Choi hadn't kicked it in there," Steve protested.

Both men glowered at Choi, who suddenly didn't look so cheerful.

"I mean, it's not like it's actually lost," Steve said encouragingly. "It's right there."

Danny transferred his glower from his suspect to his partner, then both men looked at the key. It had broken loose from its key chain and lay by itself in the dirt, inside a pen, between the forelegs of the far from proverbial junkyard dog.

The massive German shepherd snarled at the strangers who had run onto his property and injured his master. Choi had knocked down the junkyard owner, who lay unconscious in the dirt, unable to call off his guard dog.

While Steve took down Choi, Danny had checked the elderly man and tucked a towel under his head, but otherwise he was afraid to move him. Danny had called for paramedics and HPD transport for the prisoner, then he found out the guard dog had the key to the Camaro.

"HPD is going to mock us — no, mock YOU! for letting a dog get the car key!" Danny exclaimed, pointing his weaponized finger at his partner.

Steve frowned at the finger, but knew his partner was right. He fingered his gun suggestively.

"No, no, no!" You are not shooting an innocent dog that's just trying to do his job. Nor are you macing, gassing or blowing up said dog. Look at him. He's beautiful!" Danny said.

The shepherd's eyes were bright and his coat thick and glossy. His powerful muscles rippled as he lunged at the fence, barking and baring his teeth at the intruders.

"Healthy teeth and gums," Steve commented dryly. "Can't you calm him down? I thought you spoke fluent dog, Beast Boy."

Danny glared. "I can talk to dogs. Right now he's saying, 'Die, you gravy-sucking humans! Come in here and I'll rip you limb from limb!' He saw us knock down his owner, Steven. He's not in a cooperating mood. Think of something else," Danny demanded. "Come on. You're a Super SEAL. You could think of six ways to kill a man using only a paperclip and dental floss."

"Depends on how long a piece of dental floss it is. And I wouldn't need the paperclip," Steve said absently, as his laser gaze scanned the junkyard. Danny began to feel hopeful.

"That's it," he encouraged. "Put your Super SEAL superpowers to good use."

Steve began to search through the junkyard.

Danny went to greet the arriving EMTs and take them to the injured junkyard owner. Then he called dispatch and told them that the suspect was in custody and they didn't have to hurry with transport.

"OK, I bought us a few more minutes," Danny told his partner who was rooting through the junkyard. "Our transport was diverted to a robbery in progress. But someone will be here soon."

Steve pounced on a pile of miscellaneous hardware and pulled out a short metal tube. It looked like a duct for a dryer vent. Steve tried it on over his arm and found it slipped on and off easily.

The dog's pen was cleverly made from recycled wrought iron gates and sections of fence bolted together in a spacious rectangle. There was space between the bars to reach an arm through (if you didn't value the appendage). It was lined with chicken wire to prevent this foolish action.

Steve held up a pair of wire clippers and his metal tube. "Distract the dog for me?"

"Just stick your hand in there, cop. That'll distract him," Choi laughed.

"You want a distraction?" Danny grabbed Choi by the throat and shoved him against the pen. The dog went crazy. Trying to get at the man who had knocked down his master, the shepherd paid no attention to Steve carefully snipping the chicken wire closest to the key.

"My hands!" the suspect begged.

Cuffed behind him, the man's hands were pressed against the chicken wire. He could feel the dog's muzzle as the animal tried unsuccessfully to bite through the wire.

"Oh, sorry," Danny said insincerely. "You're right. We wouldn't want one of your fingers to give the dog food poisoning." He spun the suspect and slammed him face first against the bars. "Is that better?"

Steve pushed the wire open and slid the tube through until the end came to rest next to the key.

Choi's face was pressed against decorative scrollwork on the bars, a solid half an inch from the dog's snapping teeth, but the suspect could still feel the angry beast's hot breath and a spray of saliva on his cheek. And now he could look straight into the toothy maw.

"While we're here, you want to tell me who hired you to break into the newspaper office?" Danny asked pleasantly. Choi talked quickly.

Moving slowly, Steve lay on the ground and slipped his arm into the armored sleeve, then lunged to grab the key.

The dog whirled fast as a striking snake and snapped at the metal sleeve. His teeth scored creases in the thin armor as Steve rolled away, yanking the pipe out of the cage.

Steve displayed the key proudly. Danny tossed Choi away from the pen to sprawl in the dirt. The dog let out a thunderous round of frustrated barks.

"Quiet, Tony," an elderly voice said firmly. "I've got a headache," the junkyard owner said while the paramedics checked him out.

Panting, the dog sat, calm now that his owner was back in charge.

An HPD patrol car pulled into the yard.

"Better get rid of the evidence, Iron Man," Danny advised his partner.

Steve shed the metal sleeve instantly and tossed it back into the junk pile.

The Five-0 officers left their shaken prisoner in the care of HPD and went back to the Camaro where Steve put the key in the ignition with a grin of triumph.

"Nice work with the distraction, but you would say you've been hanging out with me too much," Steve said.

Danny grinned. "You're a bad influence," he said. "I liked the Iron Man action with the armor and all."

"Yeah, I could do Iron Man," Steve said thoughtfully, remembering the Robert Downey Jr. movies. "But you'd have to double for me as Tony Stark."

"Why's that?" Danny asked suspiciously.

"Because I can't talk that much," Steve smirked.

Then — fully justifying his partner's faith in him — Danny ranted all the way back to headquarters.