Examples to avoid: Part II
"We are all monsters and bastards, and we are all beautiful."
~ Seraphina (Rachel Hartman)
For a moment, a sudden tremor shook her entire body and a wave of cold air hugged her unexpectedly. She tightened her arms so hard around herself that they felt numb.
She couldn't remember when she lost her consciousness, she didn't know whether she really lost it at all. She just couldn't see anything and all the sounds were so loud that hurt her ears. So she thought she was unconscious until the glass drops that were thrown on her acquired such an impetus that caused her pain.
Glass drops. At first, crystal monsters were falling from the roof, turning into smithereens on the floor beside her, and then the tiny pieces would sprang out at any direction, even under her cover. The tangle of her body became even tighter when one of the huge pieces of glass landed on the back of her seat. Alas, she'd made the best choice... Any other simple chair wouldn't withstand the fall of so many crystals. The sharp rain lasted for a few seconds and then it started to abate. The drops were running out, the falling monsters were getting smaller and smaller... She could not see them, but she could hear.
Just when she thought that the stream of sounds would end along with the glass, the breakage of the last pieces was covered by the terrifying sound of a deafening crack. She couldn't guess what it was, but it sounded near and scared her as much as the crystal explosion. Right after that, she heard something that resembled the sound of rotating gears, but as it grew stronger, she realized that it was actually a noticeably deep growl. Her heart stopped from terror and she remained still.
There are times when, even if someone has his eyes sealed, if a really strong beam of light appears before him, he can paradoxically recognize its color. Nasuada, although she didn't dare to open her eyes or even loosen her eyelids, knew that for a split second the room was filled with red shades.
She was trembling, not from fear but from being cold. She slowly dared to raise her head and look around, but she froze up again when she heard knocks on the door. All she managed to see was a floor filled with glass... She stayed wrapped with her shock and her tremble, as if she was about to explode, when she heard a strange thud and then something like the opening of a large ship's sails, like the ones she'd seen in the harbors of Surda the few times she'd been there.
The knocks on the door wouldn't stop, but she reopened her eyes. Two black, leather boots, heading towards her, entered in her sight... Her instinct told her to close her eyes again, for she didn't need to see her death. She'd feel it anyway and that was unbearable enough. However, before she had any chance to react, she saw surprised the two boots walking past her, making their way somewhere where her eyes couldn't reach. The sound of their hasty steps on the broken glass was heard in between the knocks on the door and the loud sails, being folded and unfolded rhythmically, spreading the glass shards all over the place. Nasuada shuddered when she felt that something was crawling a few meters away and then she heard the ringing of some keys. The boots appeared again and left her behind. Whoever that was, he would open the door. The sails opened again, this time wider, and she stopped breathing while hearing them hitting the air, and then strike again and again and again... until their hollow sound was lost into the night.
"What are you waiting for?! Help her!"
These words startled her. Either because of her dizziness or exhaustion, she hadn't heared the door of the Hall opening, closing and being locked again, nor did she heard the footsteps of a child that was running to help her. Although the voice was girlish and fearful, it had a serious, urgent tone, so familiar and so clear compared to the other noises, that hearing it felt like a sudden awakening from a terrible dream.
She was uncovered before she knew it. Her seat was no longer over her, she was alone, curled up on the floor, refusing to look around or even raise her head a few inches, unable to stop her trembling, no matter how hard she tried. A few seconds passed like this and the only thing that could be heard was someone's deep breaths -only later did she realized they were hers. A small hand touched her shoulder and made her pounce on the glass around her. She sat up still and saw Elva standing in front of her.
The girl's eyes were bigger than ever, brighter than the few stars of the sky, giving the little witch a childish face, as if she had her real age back. Without saying a word, the kid fell on the Queen and hugged her tightly, something that she'd never done before. Nasuada hugged her back, cradling her as if trying to console an ordinary child. She wouldn't whisper her that everything was fine -a quick look around would be enough to refute her- but when she felt Elva's tears on her shoulder she murmured a few words. "Are you okay?"
"I thought I would hurl my guts and anything else that's inside me!" shrieked the girl. It was unreal and creepy. Elva wasn't crying too often… in fact she was never crying.
"But now you're feeling better, right?" said the Queen trying to put the volume of her voice back to normal.
Elva left her arms. "It was him" she cried, pointing with her finger someone behind the Queen. "I'm feeling better because of him."
Totally unwary of what to expect, she turned to see. And stood speechless.
Even though her heartbeat was somewhat better than before, her breaths wouldn't find their way out again, staying trapped in her chest. She became the very air, for the moment she faced him she felt as light as feathers, smoke, thin mist… And the only thing that kept her on the ground was his presence, that very presence that at the same time would lift her into the sky, away from the broken crystals, the Glass Hall, the palace... away from any existent place. That feeling, so complex yet so simple.
He was almost as she remembered him to be. The same angular face, oddly noble, pale and beautiful, even when it was distant, framed with flyaway mops of hair… the same penetrating eyes with their intense gaze saying much more than what could ever escape from his sealed lips.
Years had passed since the last time she saw him and she'd learned to not expect anything at all. She ceased to believe that she would see him again, but fate decided to surprise her and leave her aghast. Staring in disbelief, she could barely pronounce his name. "Murtagh?"
He seemed worried.
He did not speak. He made a hesitant step forward and extended his hand to help her up. Nasuada looked at it for a few seconds, as if it was something completely unknown and then put her palm on his and lean on him to stand. In silence, he took her closer and made her sit on her chair, which he'd previously righted.
Her eyes wouldn't leave his face throughout the process, though he didn't dare to look back at her. When he let her sit, he took a step back, and if Nasuada wasn't that surprised, she'd swear that there were traces of shame on his appearance. The more she was staring at him, the more puzzled her expression would become, 'till the point that she looked almost tearful.
"Should I tell her? Or you will?" asked Elva suddenly.
Nasuada looked at her, blinking her eyes. Her gaze returned to Murtagh, who was also staring at the girl before he spoke. "Leave us alone."
Elva nodded, wiped her tears and took the keys from his hands. She left without throwing a second glance at them, making the Queen wonder.
Murtagh was still refusing to look at her. When the door closed, he proceeded to the table with his head bowed and sat on it, just a few steps away from her, after putting aside a few glass shards. Nasuada's eyes were following every move of his and only then did she notice the damage: the marble surface of the council's table had cracked in two. Its huge, perfectly round shape was now divided into two semicircles, both leaning at the center, like a broken moon. The crack of the previous minute echoed in her mind like an affirming reminder. Somewhere on the huge split, the Detector was lying rumpled.
Then her eyes snap off Murtagh and started paying attention to her surroundings. She leaned back and stared at the roof. The night sky was looking back at her, vast and empty, without the glass dome in between them, like a wide window that was letting inside the cold of the night. And other uninvited visitors.
"Thorn wants… to apologize. For all of this."
She turned her head fast enough to catch his glance. He was looking at her, at last he was looking into her eyes, and she managed to cage his gaze without much effort. "Thorn was here." she said, without asking him. She was only trying to explain things to herself. "And then he left...?"
"To get rid of the corpse. He will return soon." replied Murtagh.
"The corpse?"
"The corpse of the traitor. He's dead. You're safe now." When he said those words, a deep breath that seemed to burden him for some time finally came out.
And he was not the only one who felt relief. Nasuada looked behind her, at the direction where some minutes ago Lord Cesar was coming from. She could discern a dark liquid substance on the glass, undoubtedly blood. After that, she only returned to her previous position without questioning Murtagh's words. A shiver went through her back. She was still cold. She embraced herself and stared to nowhere with nothing else to do, hoping that she wouldn't start trembling again.
And indeed, she didn't. For Murtagh took off his cloak and wrapped it gently around her shoulders without being asked to. Nasuada didn't resist, but she went back to staring at him, waiting for an answer to all of those questions that she hadn't asked. Tired of his reluctance to speak, she cleared her throat and repeated his name. "Murtagh?"
Again, he avoided her eyes. Even when he summoned the courage to confront her, it was obvious that he strove to lift his eyes on hers. "Your Majesty?"
"What?" she said confused. "How... how dare you?"
The Dragon Rider gasped. "I didn't..."
"I've cried in front of you... Do not call me 'Your Majesty'!"
His eyes widened. "As you order..."
"I'm not ordering you!" She said, raising the tone of her voice as if she was actually ordering him. "What's wrong with you?"
His lips formed a faint, seldom smile, for he clearly found the question amusing. As much as she did. What's wrong with you? A simple question, a common way to start a conversation with a friend whom you haven't talked with for a very long time.
"Business as usual." he answered shrugging.
"Be more concrete. We have time."
"I do have time" he said smiling wider. "But you don't, because you should get some rest. You must attend to a feast tomorrow and you should look happy and beautiful. As if nothing had happened tonight."
Nothing at all. Right. She would think the same later. "And what about all these damages?"
"They can be fixed faster than one would think."
Unlike the damage of my soul. "And you? What brought you here?"
His smile disappeared for a while and a shadow of melancholy covered his features. "A strange feeling. Intuition, I suppose."
She stared at him, wanting to hear -or to believe- something else. "I am grateful you have such a good intuition." she said in the end. "Because I think I missed you."
The words astound even herself. What did she just admit? Couldn't she simply say that she'd be dead for sure otherwise? Yes, at the beginning she'd missed him, without any particular reason, but in time, his gap was filled with other worries and he'd been forgotten. Nasuada stopped having strong feelings for other people. She couldn't even remember when the last time she thought of him was.
He just gasped at her revealation and then he sighed. "I can not say the same."
This phrase sounded like a slap on her wrist for all the days that passed without her wondering what happened to him, where he could be or whether he's alright, her punishment for her reckless confession. "You're not obliged to." she stated colorless. "The first few months after you left... I waited, though you never clarified whether you'll return." She began to regret saying those words. "I'm just glad you're here. I wish the circumstances were different."
"I wish the circumstances were so different that my presence would have been unnecessary."
"They never are." she hurried to add. "On the contrary. I wish I could say on behalf of everyone that you're always welcome."
"But I'm not, so let's not fool ourselves."
"Does that mean you're gonna leave again?" asked the Queen. She didn't want to believe it, but she could think of no other possible option and that was sad.
"Probably." answered Murtagh solemnly. "Now that the threat is gone, I do not see any reason to stay. This would cause more problems rather than positive results."
"You saved my life" said Nasuada. "If the world knew..."
"The world should not get to know this, for two main reasons: firstly, no one needs to know how close you came to death, nor how easily you've been deceived. And secondly..." he smiled. "Unlike you, your subjects will wonder where I've been all this time. How I was spending my free time. Where I learned to practice my good intuition. And believe me, revealing the truth would never make me welcome, quite the opposite I might say."
"Where were you then?" she asked and stood up from her seat. Her feet could barely hold her, but she was determined to not look weak, not even for a second. Murtagh on the other hand, noticed her exhaustion and approached to help her, but she took a step back, indicating that she needed no help. "Where were you?" she asked again. "How were you spending your free time? Where did you learn to practice your good intuition?"
He turned his back to her, smiling. "Try to guess."
"Don't mock me!" she said firmly. "I already have many problems, as you can see around you. I need to find all the servants of that traitor and apologize for sending an innocent in jail..."
The rare sound of his laughter interrupted her. She'd never heard him laughing... Oh, she could listen to him for hours if he hadn't stopped and turned to give her distressing sigh. His scowl troubled her, for even his eyes gleamed determined to not betray anything. "Why should you apologize?" he asked sharply. "Her Ladyship, or whoever that impostor was, gave to that innocent the chance to retreat. And that's what that reckless fool did, without allowing the consequences. Why should you apologize?"
"You're unfair." she rebuked him. "Endymion had no reason to run and save my life while I was the actual reckless fool. I can't accuse him for giving up. I ordered his arrest, falling into the trap. The fact that he kept me alive for so long is already commendable..."
"Stop it!" he winced. "Just stop... You don't even know what you're talking about."
"If you know better, enlighten me!" she snapped. "Well? How do you know Endymion? He alerted you, right?"
"Nasuada..." said Murtagh sighing again. Her name coming from his lips aroused a warm, unknown feeling. This, instead of a dry, formal title, softened her mood, but didn't calm her down completely. "Don't make this any harder... Should I regret not letting Elva to talk to you?"
"Speak clearly, at last..." said Nasuada, almost indignant. "What else awaits me tonight?!"
Murtagh remained silent. He kept to looking expectedly, as if the truth was obvious, and waited for her reaction. "Didn't you mind when I said that I didn't miss you?"
"How does this..."
"Sit down" he said after seeing that there was no other way to tell her. Nasuada bit her lower lip annoyed, but obeyed, crossing her arms on her chest. When she sat, he knelt before her, his hands touching her seat's arms. He stayed like this, counting the seconds, waiting for the right moment to come, and when his gaze finally met hers, he spoke slowly: "During the previous years... let's say that I was always right behind you. I was watching every step of yours very carefully and I did my best to not let you stumble. And some time ago, you decided that it's wise to let me stand by your side. You offered me a place to your council. And I was sitting right there." he said, pointing at a seat somewhere behind her.
Nasuada looked puzzled where he suggested. Of course, only very few seats were left standing. The one that Murtagh was pointing at was not far. It was the chair between Jörmundur's and Lady Lucretia's.
Endymion's seat.
And then it hit her.
She jumped on her feet and stared at the empty seat, as if she was waiting for a confirmation. Murtagh stood up and took a step back to give her space to stand and time to understand what she'd heard. The thoughts in her mind spun like a whirlwind, her breaths became hasty and her cheeks blushed from excitement and disbelief.
And anger.
"What did...?" Her fury was hard to contain. "What did you do?" Her mouth fell drop open and her eyes were glassy, two mirrors showing no sympathy. As soon as the first tears appeared in her eyes, she approached him and tried to punch him. He grasped her fist with great ease and put her arm behind her back, just like he did later with her other arm, when she tried to hit him again. In the end, the Queen was stuck on him with both of her arms crossed behind her waist, locked in his firm hold. "You!" she said breathlessly. "It was..."
"Me" he confirmed quietly. "All this time, I was right here. That's why I didn't miss you. I could meet you every day."
Her face was so close to his that she could feel his breath burning her cold skin and his scent filling her nostrils. His eyes were fixed on hers, telling her the truth, which was exactly what she'd heard a minute ago. Endymion... did never exist. He was a guise. A lie. A truth in a masquerade. He, who saved her more than once, the one who advised her like a cordial friend... "You lied to me!" she cried. Anger and frustration were grappling inside her, making her voice louder and squeaky. "All of this time you were pretending…"
"With no intention to hurt you, believe me." he said earnestly. "What I did was only for your own good."
"Let me go!" she demanded. "Let me now..."
"Not until you calm down" he replied. "You'll have as much time as you want to curse me or punch me later, but first, calm down."
"Let me go..." she repeated and the tears were now running on her face. Disappointment was gaining ground in her soul and her heart was sinking. "Just let my hands..." she pleaded eventually.
After a moment of hesitation, he left her free as she requested, but did not move from where he was standing. He let Nasuada embrace him and cry on his shoulder. "You betrayed me." she said amid her sobs. "You betrayed me, just like my enemy."
Murtagh cradled her, the same way she did with Elva a couple of minutes ago. "Forgive me" he whispered. "There was no other way..."
"And Elva? How did she know?"
"She learned about it tonight, as soon as I broke out of the prison."
"Why?" she asked while crying. "Why didn't you tell me the truth from the beginning? What were you waiting for?... Why should things reach to this point for you to reveal yourself?!" She left his arms and looked at him. "It's the second time you cared more about my life rather than what I truly want. Why?"
He would give her same, accursed answer. she could tell that he would before he opened his mouth. Nasuada knew that she would hear the exact same words she'd heard in the Hall of Soothsayer and that's why she stopped him by sealing his lips with her fingers, feeling overwhelmed by another wave of frustration. Once Murtagh realized the mistake he was about to do, he took her hand and kissed it apologetically.
They didn't stay like this for too long. Murtagh carried her on his arms just when she thought she would collapse on the floor. With her arms around his neck and her tears blinding her, she realized that they'd left the Glass Hall only when Murtagh's steps were no longer followed by the sound of the glass underneath his boots. She didn't figure out when they arrived in her room though. She was so tired, mentally and physically. She had no desire to speak or move and she complained only when she felt Murtagh's hands leaving her gently on her bed.
"Again?" she asked wearily. "Will you leave again?"
Murtagh sat on the edge of the bed, looking at her while caressing her hair. "Not yet..." he replied softly. "Do you want to hear a bedtime story?"
Nasuada smiled painfully. "How many more fairytales will you tell me?"
"One is always enough sometimes." said Murtagh smiling back. "Listen, then... Once upon a time there was a man who never hoped for any good to happen. The man wandered for a long time in any kind of desert you can imagine, because he had to be alone with his Dragon for awhile. They had to leave, regardless of whether they were welcome or not. They needed time... time to think, time to learn not to hate themselves for their mistakes or for the mistakes of others, time to forget some of the worst days of their life. You see, they wouldn't do anything worthwhile otherwise. Nobody can go on without himself. Also, that man needed some time to forget a person whom he thought could be forgotten...
"Say he did. His ghosts are still chasing him but they can no longer scare him as much as they used to. So he came back, looking for the woman who was torturing his thoughts -and I can assure you that he'd missed her terribly back then- but what he found upseted him: a Queen exposed to indirect dangers and invisible enemies with vile traps... He couldn't bear it. He changed his identity and became an above board stranger, someone whom nobody would judge or hate for his past. He entered to the Court like a meager servant and he achieved becoming Her Majesty's right-hand, while protecting her and looking for the traitor who was threatening her peace.
"He only made a mistake. His fury to cover his tracks made him use powerful spells and words that even the Elves are afraid utter. That brought him many troubles later, when the Queen decided that she needed a Detector. So when the map arrived at the palace, the man destroyed it without a second thought, using a word, a forbidden name, that nobody could undo. The Detector was put out of use and the unfaithful servant was safe, but on his haste he didn't notice that he'd been seen by someone else...
"Soon after that, a woman of great office and influence, who was seemingly true to the Crown, threaten to unmask him. The servant was initially startled and pretended that he retreat, but in fact he did not leave the old woman from his eyes. He saw the mind behind the acts. He found what he was looking for and made a list with all the traitors that the malicious woman had in her servise, a list that now lies in Her Majesty's top drawer, next to her new tiara. Moreover, he found out that the cunning enemy used the real names of many Humans and she even dared to make a young boy wound severly his own father, not to mention having a witch watering a little girl with all sorts of poisons.
"He knew that his enemy would set up her trap for him, so he decided to let the traitor believe that she won, by surrendering to the authorities and confessing the crimes he did or did not do. Before he did however, he tried to poison his enemy, but he unfortunately failed. He tried to heal one of the Queen's advisers, who was in mortal danger -and I guarantee that he'll be healthy and secure very soon- but did not succeed either, for he was arrested before he could give the patient the right filter.
"In any case, it was a matter of time for him to break out of jail and of course, he had the help of his amazing partner in crime, who was no other than his Dragon. However, had he delayed a little bit more, the very special person of his heart would lose her life, taking all of his air, water, earth… the entire world of her servant. It was scary." he said with a short pause. "Your servant will always blame himself for what happened to you tonight. He will always regret for every second he hesitated to send that traitor out of the way, for every time he had the chance to... And you may feel like you have to apologize for sending this innocent in jail, but I... "
"You are nothing but a big, selfish liar and I wish you meant it for real when you said that I'll have as much time as I want to curse and punch you..." said Nasuada, smiling surprised with the details of the new revelations. "And what's going to happen tomorrow? Everyone will wonder where Lady Lucretia is. And I'm sure that someone will notice that you're not in prison anymore."
"The lies you're going to tell them to cover all these gaps are nothing compared to the performance I was giving, not to mention the performance of your other unfaithful servant."
"And the Glass Hall? You said..."
"Tomorrow morning, once you wake up, go to the Glass Hall. I promise that it's going to look better than it does right now."
He'd thought of everything. From the list of the traitors and Jörmundur's health up to the dome of the Glass Hall, everything was planned out and settled by him. The Queen wondered if she was dreaming. "Murtagh…Oh Murtagh, not even the gods know how many times you called me 'Your Majesty'."
"If you only knew how difficult it was to behave as if we were strangers, the title wouldn't bother you that much." he remarked.
"You could simply..." she started. "…simply tell me..." Her words caught when the Dragon Rider stroke her hair agan. "But I forgot. There's nothing simple about you."
"That applies for you, too."
"Then we're a good match."
Murtagh laughed.
People were reveling until the next morning. Voices and music were coming from the window. The day was sunny, although last night's sky was unclear. The clouds that were flying loose for so many long weeks had disappeared and left behind a fair horizon. Nasuada lied still on her bed for a few seconds before she realized that she had just woken up. Looking around, she found out that she was all alone in her room. Her heart sank inside her chest and the newly familiar disappointment was enough to make her ignore the first, bright rays of morning sunlight, that she'd missed so badly.
With a spark of hope, she jumped out of her bed and walked out of the chamber. Thankfully, there was no one to see her, so she followed Murtagh's advice and headed to the Glass Hall. Once she reached the doors, she stood still and hesitant. If everything was fixed as promised by her guardian angel, how would she tell if what she lived through was a nightmare and not an undreamed reality?
"Do you want me to come with you?"
Her heart stopped before starting to beat faster. Since Elva was abed for so long, the Queen had forgotten young witch' annoying habit of appearing out of nowhere like a ghost. The girl had followed her and she was standing silently behind her, with the innocent face of a little angel and the sweet voice of a child. Nasuada didn't know what had caused this change in Elva's behavior –not that she couldn't guess- , but at least, she looked healthy again and that was a great relief. "Yes" she answered her. "Let's get in there together."
They pushed the doors wide open and gasped at the oft-encountered view of the Hall: all the seats and the royal chair were in their places. The mirrors,polished and even, were depicting each other and the surface of the marble table was smooth, as if it never cracked. The colors of the dawn bathed the room in the purple light of the last darkness, reluctant to leave. The last stars were flickering on the other side of the transparent, intact dome.
Elva pulled Nasuada by the hand.
Nasuada's steps were crawling on the floor, which looked naked without the thick layers of glass. Now that she could see the room again, she knew that she preferred to be anywhere else, but Elva continued pulling her near the table, as if she wanted to show her something. It didn't take her too long to understand what.
A map painted with tiny stars was spread on the table, a map that looked like no other for the very first time, because, after all, it was not a common map but a powerful tool. Her Detector.
Under other circumstances, Nasuada would be excited. But that moment she felt dizzy with all these luminous spots. So many magicians, so many spells, so many constellations, each one of them a different scheme, a different traitor who'd wish to not be seen. But Nasuada ignored all of them, because she was looking for a unique, familiar light, a light that she hoped to not find too far away.
And it wasn't hard to distinguish it from the rest of the paper stars, because its red glow was greater than all the others' combined.
"You see him, don't you?" asked Elva, who was watching closely her face. "I can't see him, though."
Nasuada looked startled, without saying a word.
"He left it like this on purpose." said the child. "He's visible only to you because he doesn't trust anyone else."
"My mind is the only sanctuary that has not been stolen from me. Men have tried to breach it before, but I've learned to defend it vigorously, for I am only safe with my innermost thoughts."
~ Murtagh (Christopher Paolini)
Disclaimer:I only own the characters and the plot I came up with.
Many thanks to Unique F. and Peaches for their help:D
Do I need to say anything else about it?
I hope so, because I'm not done just yet. ;)