"Sempai?" The lovely voice of Kai Mizuki stirred me from my daydreaming. I swiveled around in my chair. Behind her tall, slim form was Matsumoto Rangiku. "You asked me to bring her here."

"Oh, right. Come on in, both of you." I pushed my glasses further up my nose.

The strawberry blond sidled in nervously after Mizuki, neither girl daring to sit. I didn't invite them to.

"Matsumoto," I said slowly, "I believe you recommended a boy named – uh, what was his name again? - Ichimaru, right?"

"Yes, Aizen-taichou."

Mizuki was standing behind Matsumoto, and I nodded at her to take a file from me. I spoke only to the intern, however. "He hasn't turned up?"

"... no, taichou."

I chewed on my lower lip. "It doesn't reflect very well on him. Where is he?"

Matsumoto's face was downcast and she swallowed before she answered, "I-I don't know, taichou. He disappeared after he heard I was interviewed... and I haven't seen him since."

"Hmm." I folded my arms on the table. "I thought he was your friend."

Her brown eyes remained fixed on a spot just before my desk. I heard the slight sniff before she said, "I thought so too."

"Mizuki, send Matsumoto back to the outer office then come back here, will you?"

"Yes, sempai."

When they left I massaged my neck. Mizuki didn't take long. I smiled tiredly when I saw her sliding the door closed behind her. "Come here, baby."

"You look terrible, sempai." She slipped onto my lap and kissed my lips. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Just a little stressed out. Kaname's promotion is... well, unexpected. I've just settled into the routine and now I need to train a new lieutenant." I rested my head against her shoulder, enjoying the light lavender scent she wore.

She stroked my hair. "Maybe we could leave early and I can give you a good massage?"

"It's alright, baby," I muttered against her smooth skin. "Just give me some sugar before I go home and rest. And help me settle things up in here, okay?"

"Mm-hmm." She dutifully pressed her lips against mine, then gradually wove her fingers into my hair. I ran my tongue along her lower lip and gained access to the sweetness within. She pushed my head closer to her, her long nails scraping the sensitive scalp. I grinned and pushed my tongue deeper into her mouth. Her soft whimper as my hands tightened about her was music to my ears; I regretted that I could not be with her tonight.

My sweet, sweet girl.

Reluctantly I pulled away. Any longer and I would be buried in her sweetness for the rest of the night, and I had other, more pressing matters to see to.

"I've gotten my sugar, time to go home," I said tenderly. She pouted but got off my lap anyway. We were about to kiss at the closed door when I felt Kaname's reiatsu outside. I gave her a peck on the forehead before admitting my lieutenant and sending my twelfth seat out.

"Kaname, come on in."

He inclined his head at Mizuki, whom he knew to be a favorite of his friend Komamura. Kaname hadn't approved of my dating and sleeping with the commander-general's great-grandniece, but since I had groomed her to be one of the deadliest shinigami in the division he hadn't commented.

"Your reiatsu is unsteady, taichou," he said as a way of greeting.

I merely shrugged. "Not at my optimum, I'm afraid. What brings you here?"

"The soutaichou asked that you sign the approval."

I did so.

As the blind shinigami took the form, he hesitated. "Taichou, if I may ask..."

"Go ahead."

"Why didn't you kill him?"

I leaned back in my chair. Briefly I considered my answer, then I asked, "When you first heard the sound of a river or the sea, how did you feel?"

"I felt... I guess I felt full of wonder." Kaname folded his hands before him. "I remembered feeling like I would never plumb the depths of its magic, and that I could never hope to understand the music of the running water. I could only stand and listen."

I smiled. "At first I thought of just using him for a short-term distraction. Use him and lose him. Then it became... it became a game. And now..." I closed my eyes and pictured his sharp features, his delicate hands and soft, cool skin, "I believe I'm fascinated."

"By what, taichou? He is merely a boy."

He is merely a boy? I scoffed at Kaname's obtuseness. Gin was everything Tousen Kaname lacked and more. My boy is smart, bold, innocent, gentle, arrogant, charming, lost, violent, daring, vulnerable... I could go on for days and I wouldn't finish describing Ichimaru Gin.

I pursed my lips before answering. "You won't understand, Kaname. How could you? You're different from us. And that's good – I doubt Soul Society can stand more than two of my kind."

My lieutenant understood the conversation was at an end. He bowed to me before heading out the door.

I took a deep breath and turned off the lights of my office.

It was late. And I still had work to do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He was still curled in the corner of the large room. There was no expression on his face, no recognition in his eyes.

"Gin," I said gently, moving closer to him. "Gin, I'm back."

He didn't acknowledge me. I sighed and took off my clothes, changing to a pale green cotton robe. He hadn't changed out of his clothes, his lower torso still wrapped in the dark red kimono I loved for him to wear.

His naked back was less scarred, the ridges and weals recovering nicely, his skin knitting itself together. But that was only the surface. Everything else beneath the skin was still a wrecked mess.

I concentrated, and an orange glow surrounded my right hand. Slowly I moved the healing reiatsu over his back, focusing on undoing the damage I had done to him in that one single fit of jealousy. It tore at me still, that there had been someone else earlier, that someone had broken my boy's mind and heart before I could.

I never liked coming in second.

He stirred; my heart leaped. "Gin?"

"Itchy." His voice was soft, emotionless. I felt a pang of... a pang of guilt, perhaps. He turned away, face buried against the wall. "Itches. Hurts. Hurting."

A little disappointed, I sighed again. The healing spells were doing their work, but not fast enough: that vial had killed quite a fair bit of the skin and muscles, permanently damaging the nerve endings, and I had to regenerate them cell by cell. The main damage had been to his mind – I hadn't counted on him reminiscing in the middle of our little session, and I hadn't brought him back long enough to refocus before pushing him over the edge.

That's what you get for acting on impulse, Sousuke. Let that be a lesson.

He stirred again, this time to press himself further into the corner. I stopped the spell; any further and I would be too drained tomorrow to focus.

Gin relaxed from his fetal pose. I reached for him again, and this time he let me touch him. Gingerly I shifted closer, drawing him into my arms.

Suddenly, Gin stiffened and I froze. When he jerked away I didn't grab him, but he didn't move far. I inhaled and breathed out, twice, then tried again. Inching ever closer, I found it in myself to pray he would trust me this time.

He then relaxed enough to let me cradle him against myself, and I closed my eyes against the unexpected lump in my throat.

"My beautiful, beautiful boy," I murmured apologetically, desperately into his silver hair. "What have I done? What can I do now?"