I've been hanging out on the kink meme lately, so I'm going to deanon a few things here.

Prompt: I'd like to see...England being the one completely drunk and SOMEHOW beating whoever else he's playing Risk against.

"So, so guys, guys…what are we playing?"

"Ug, France, why did you invite England?"

"You know I never invite him, Spain, he always just shows up on his own."

"We should invite China too…"

"Non, we agreed after last time China and America take this game too seriously…"

"Besides Russia, we already have six players."

"Since when are we counting England?"

"Are those cards? *hic* You know I love Yahtzee."

"He's drunk too! You said there was no alcohol!"

"I just said there wasn't any for you, Denmark."

"Let's start already so I can make you all kneel before my awesome!"

"But what about England?"

"Just another loser to be tossed aside in my conquest. He'll be easy to take down now that he's drunk, so you can use this as revenge for your Armada."

"…I agree with Prussia, let's start."

"Alright! *hic* Where's my queen?"

"This is Risk, Angleterre. I'm dealing out your cards now…"

"Sweet! I got Australia and the Philippines on the draw!"

"That's not fair Denmark! That was my card!"

"Shut up Prussia, you still have half of Europe already…including me and England."

"Cheer up Spain; everyone will become one with Russia in the end…"

"What's wrong Angleterre? Not so cocky now that you're split up across the globe?"

"Yeah, that's probably the worst draw I've ever seen for this game."

"*Hic* Just shut up and deal the cards! I'm a master at Rummy!"

"We're playing Risk, stupid. I'm going first, because I'm awesome like that, and I'm invading the Philippines."

"Just because I get a lucky hand…"

"This game is all about skill! Now roll the dice!"

"…"

"Sweet! Welcome to the new German Empire. I'll end here."

"Alright, England's turn!"

"B-6."

"We're playing Risk…"

"I'll attack France."

"You're not even in Europe, mon ami."

"Never stopped me before. *hic* What about that…not America guy that speaks French? Is he here?"

"Well you do have Alaska, but you only have two armies there…"

"He already made his choice."

"You just want Alaska for yourself, Russia."

"Just shut up and bloody fight me wankers!"

"Where did you get that cutlass?

"Says the guy who walks around with an axe. Anyway, that's Spain's territory."

"…"

"Yes! King me!"

"We're playing Risk…how did he take all of Canada in one turn?"

"Just a lucky shot, mon ami. My turn and I'm invading Russia."

"Because that worked so well before…"

"It's okay Denmark; I don't mind seeing France lose to me again…"

"…"

"Damn it."

"Told you…"

"Just go Russia."

"Um…I'll attack Alaska."

"Angleterre that's you."

"Bingo!"

"We're playing Risk! Just roll the damn dice already!"

"…"

"KOLKOLKOL."

"I didn't think it was possible to beat 25 armies with only one…"

"Doesn't matter, just go Spain."

"I'll go after Brazil."

"That's England again…"

"I'll *hic* take two. And they better not be anymore bloody spades."

"This is Risk, England. Just roll the dice, and I don't think you'll need that drink anymore, so…"

"Denmark no. You're a worse drunk then him. I'm rolling now."

"…"

"Mierda."

"This is getting embarrassing."

"Denmark, go so I can kick your ass again."

"Yeah right, I still have half my armies in Australia. You won't be able to take me down so easily."

"…"

"I can't believe you took me down so easily."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Many have fallen to my awesome in the past. Now, on your knees! Praise me!"

"Somebody go before Prussia's ego takes a corporeal form…again."

"England your turn."

"You're it."

"We're playing Risk!"

"I attack France!"

"You're nowhere near him!"

"No, wait, I'm in America."

"Oh, then okay. Roll the dice."

"…"

"Merde."

"He just conquered North America, again, in one turn. What's in his drink…?"

"We said no Denmark. My turn and I'll attack Russia."

"Again? As your friend, I'm telling you to just let it go."

"Non, I'll win this time."

"…"

"Damn it."

"Since it's my turn, I'll attack Scandinavia."

"Hey, stay away from them!"

"Relax Denmark, since I already obliterated you, I'll defend them."

"…"

"KOLKOLKOL."

"Don't mess with the best, Russia."

"Oh hey is it my turn? I'll attack the Middle East."

"Isn't Angleterre there too?"

"*Hic* Bring it on! I've got the ace of trump!"

"We're playing Risk, and that's a coaster."

"…"

"As your friend, I'm telling you that you should just give it up too, Spain. My awesome turn and I'm going after Greenland."

"Um, England…"

"I *hic* select rock!"

"Just roll the freaking dice!"

"…"

"Pft, I'll get you next time."

"You and what army? That's *hic* right, you don't-"

"Your turn Angleterre! You want to conquer South America now?"

"France, that's my last territory!"

"*Hic* Draw your next pathetic card tosser, so I can end this duel!"

"Just roll and shut him up."

"…"

"I think that means you're out Spain."

"Good riddance, you suck at hopscotch!"

"We're playing Risk, dumbass!"

"Well, I'm going to-"

"Let's just assume Russia beat you again and move to his turn."

"You don't know what I was going to do Denmark!"

"What were you going to do then?"

"…go Russia."

"I'll attack Japan."

"But that's England's again…"

"He can't win them all, right?"

"…"

"KOLKOL-"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it. My turn and I'm after Africa now!"

"Mon dieu, that's my last territory!"

"All's fair in kicking your ass!"

"I thought love was in there somewhere…"

"Shut up Spain."

"…"

"And that makes three continents for me."

"Now I've only got my India territory…"

"And I'll *hic* sink your battleship!"

"We're playing Risk, mon ami…"

"He is right next to you…"

"Sounds like a legit attack to me."

"Just because you two are out doesn't mean you can side with England."

"Tally ho!"

"Don't chuck the dice at my head!"

"…"

"Mrs. Peacock, in the ballroom, with the revolver."

"We're playing Risk, and you just killed off France."

"Same thing *hic*."

"My turn then, yes?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"I'd like to take back Russia now."

"Pft, like the awesome me would let you."

"…"

"Чёрт!"

"And that's a win for my new German Empire! On your knees peasant!"

"I'm *hic* attacking with my Marshall."

"We're playing Risk."

"That one was actually pretty close."

"Let's go England, final showdown! German Empire versus British Empire! Winner drinks the rest of France's beer."

"England's wasted enough as it is."

"Spain, do you actually think I'm going to lose to a drunk England? He doesn't even know what we're playing."

"He did beat the rest of us."

"Well, Denmark, I'm far more awesome than you."

"I'll put a hotel on *hic* boardwalk now."

"England, we're playing Risk, now roll the dice so we can prove my awesome to everyone in the room."

"…"

"Scheiße."

"Go fish."

"He beat you good."

"He beat you good first!"

"I propose we don't play with drunk England anymore."

"Fantastique idea Spain. All in favor?"

"Not unless I can get drunk too."

"Agree with Denmark, now hand me a beer!"

"Yeah, Spain's idea is a good one."

"Pfft. S'not my fault you bloody wankers don't know how to play Scrabble."

France speaks a lot of French:

Angleterre: England

Mon ami: My friend

Mon dieu: My god

Fantastique: Fantastic

Mierda/Merde/Чёрт/Scheiße: Shit. Had trouble with the Danish.