A/n Hi everyone. Hope I didn't keep you waiting for long. And to some reviewers that voiced concern, don't worry, I did change the rating. I was going to change it when I posted the last chapter and give a warning in the note but I totally forgot. I in fact, remembered in the middle of work a few hours after I posted. And was like-"Damn I forgot to change the rating!" and of course all my co-workers looked at me for my random blurt. Lol anyways, Things are about to get interesting from here. Tomoe presses and Kenshin has a secret. Though we won't find out in this chapter, we will find out soon enough.
Disclaimer. I have no creative responsibility.
It was hot and dark and she was lying, crushed under a weight that pinned the whole length of her body. Strangely there was no pain, only, as her senses began to return to her, some strange twinges and aches and a warm glow of pleasure and a certainty that her entire body had experienced some force beyond her understanding.
"Kaoru?" Kenshin voice rumbled very close to her ear.
"Wha…what happened? Did the village explode?" It was far too hard to open her eyes.
He gave a snort of laughter and she realized that the weight was his naked body stretched out over hers. "I think I'm flattered by that, that I am. No, we made love."
"Oh. Yes." Her hands were out by her sides. Cautiously she raised them and found she could curl them around his shoulders. He begun to nuzzle gently at the angle of her neck and Kaoru gave a little whimper and clung tighter. "Are we doing it again?"
His mouth left her skin and his weight shifted, pressing down deliciously on her pelvis. "I want to.." Obviously by the evidence that was pressing into her flesh. "But-"
"But I did not please you." Her eyes flew open as she saw immediately that she was wrong. Kenshin looked very pleased indeed. Partly with himself-she was sure there was more than a little smug masculine delight at having reduced her to this state- but mainly, she could see by the tenderness of his expression, with her. His mouth was no longer a hard line, but soft and upturned, his swirling amber eyes had warmed to a dark violet.
"Yes Kaoru. You pleased me very much. But Yahiko is going to be worried about us; we thought we had lost you." His hips began to rock gently against hers and her body arched up to meet his. He had given up fighting his body.
Lost you-not that I had escaped. Kaoru realized. There was a difference, although she was not certain what it meant. "Do we have to go back at once?" she murmured, experimentally running her hands down his flanks and then gripping his buttocks., her fingers digging into the curved hardness.
"Yes, we have to, and if you do that-" his head fell forwards, a sweep of crimson hair curtaining her face "- it will be midnight before I have the will to stop making love to you."
Kaoru raised her head and kissed the sinfully tempting mouth just above hers and pulled his hips as hard as she could against hers. Kenshin started to growl as he deepened the kiss, his knee pushing her legs apart. It was frightening to make him lose control, but the wickedly feminine delight at being able to do so was far stronger.
"Oh, yes…Urgh!" A hot, wet tongue swiped across her ear and cheek-and from Kenshin's reaction, across him as well.
He rolled off her into a crouch, then sat down with a thump when he saw the culprit. "Saitou! Bad wolf!"
"He was getting bored." Kaoru gurgled with laughter, sitting up to pull Saitou's ears. "Poor old thing."
"What about me?" Kenshin grumbled, his expression as he turned to look at her not matching his tone.
"Not so old." Kaoru murmured provocatively. "Unless, of course you were glad for the interruption?"
"You-" he leaned to her shoulder, then rocked back on his heels. "If I touch you again now, it will be dark before we get back, that it will."
Kaoru watched him from under lowered lids as he got to his feet as lithely as he had when he was fighting. The movement of his muscles fascinated her as he walked about the meadow, quite unselfconsciously naked, retrieving items of clothing and finding the boot Saitou had made off with. He was beautiful. It was a ridiculous adjective to apply to someone so overwhelmingly masculine, but the combination of proportion and height and coloring could be described in no other way.
She sat up, curving her arms around her knees, and started quite openly, schooling her face from the wide smile she wanted to give way into an expression of calm.
"What are you looking at?" Kenshin demanded, one foot into his hakama leg, the other just lifted. Even in that position, a difficult one to maintain with any dignity, his balance was perfect.
You. Just you. "Nothing, nothing at all." I love him so much. I can't let him see how vulnerable he makes me. And how nothing can ever be the same again. She shivered, eyes wide then dropped her head onto her crossed arms, suddenly frightened by what they had just done.
"Get dressed," he said abruptly, turning to whistle to his horse.
Kaoru felt a cold knot in her stomach. Had she overstepped the mark in some way? She was so ignorant of men, and of the act of love and what to expect in the aftermath, of how to behave. With uncharacteristic meekness she pulled on her clothes, tied her obi and waited.
… . . …
Hell, she is regretting it already, all the light has gone out of her. She was looking at me with all the joy gone, and then she shuddered and could not meet my eyes. I don't know what to say to her now. Those great blue eyes… Battousai studied Kaoru's expressionless face, her downcast lashes, as he rode back to her. I was clumsy, I hurt her, she's so small. Even not being a virgin, the act of love would still hurt her for some time to come. Even as he thought it, his groin tightened at the memory of how tight she had been, how her body had felt, yielding to his. I meant to make it as easy as I could, and I misjudged it, that I did. I gave her some pleasure, but…she puts a brave face on it, teases me….I want more. I want her trust, I want…what? Deep down she must hate me for taking her away, taking her just now.
"Here take my hand, put your foot on mine." He leaned down, grasped her wrist and pulled her up easily, turning her so she ended up sitting sideways behind him. After a moment's hesitation, slim arms encircled his waist and her body pressed against his back.
What to talk about? How to talk to her? All his sexual encounters before now had been uncomplicated, friendly. You had fun, took and gave pleasure, then lay there afterwards idly talking, drinking perhaps. When you were rested, you parted as casually as you had come together. He knew he had learned to be skillful at lovemaking. He enjoyed giving pleasure, enjoyed the softness and inner strength of women, their moods, their laughter-but this one he could not fathom.
"It won't take long to get back down," Kenshin tossed back over his shoulder. She had probably had more than enough of him and wanted to go find Megumi for some feminine company and reassurance. He sat up straighter so that only her clasping arms touched his body. He was feeling guilty, a very unfamiliar state. He could recall losing his virginity, a clumsy, fumbling, wonderful experience. It would not be the same for a woman; though he knew she hand already sold her virginity some time ago, perhaps a handful of years ago. Still he wondered if he had given her pleasure, he wasn't as gentle with her as he should have been. He assumed that after being deflowered she would be somewhat active. The pain he caused her proved that, that one encounter months or even a couple years ago had not only been her first, but her only. He was sure he had given her some pleasure; that she had clung to him, kissed him back with fervor. At the time she seemed to enjoy it, while she as in his arms, had wanted more- and now, afterwards, she was regretting it. It was as though he had picked a lily and its tender leaves and petals were wilting, bruised, in his hands.
They rode in silence until they emerged into the camp ground. "We move tomorrow, that we do." He said curtly. "With any luck Yahiko will have packed away everything we do not need tonight." He expected questions, but got none. "Here, let me…" But as he reined in and twisted to help her down, Kaoru slid off the big horse and stood on the trampled earth as though uncertain where to go now. She does not know where she belongs anymore. He thought with a twist of his heart.
"Kaoru."
"Yes?" She looked up, the wide blue eyes shuttered and wary.
"Why did you let me?"
There was a long silence. She didn't pretend not to understand him. Then she said one the one thing he least expected, her voice cool. "Because I am yours." Kaoru turned on her heel and walked steadily toward the wagon.
… . . …
Yahiko was sitting, back against a wheel, rubbing oil into the leather of his saddle. He looked up at the sound of Kaoru's approach and his face split into a grin. "Hey! I thought we had lost you. Where did you go?"
"Just for a walk up the mountain. The view over the bay is lovely from up there and there is a cool breeze." She kept her voice light and cheerful. "What will we have for dinner?"
"Fish. I've cleaned it and skewered it and Megumi brought some green stuff and rice. She is worried about you. He bent his head over the saddle again and added. "She said to go and see her when you get back. I'll cook the fish if you like."
"Why, thank you, Yahiko." Kaoru was surprised, and it must have shown in her voice. The youth wriggled uncomfortably and muttered something. "What?" Kaoru knelt down next to him.
"I just said, I was worried about you. I know I haven't been very friendly sometimes. Sorry." He wriggled his shoulders awkwardly. "You're good for him."
"Who? For Kenshin?" She could feel the blush rush to her face. "How?"
"Don't know." Yahiko appeared to be out of his emotional depth. "You just are."
Kaoru didn't know what to say. Her feeling were in enough of a turmoil as it was, without trying to fathom out what Yahiko meant about Kenshin, or why he was apparently prepared to like her now. "Thank you." She managed at last. "I don't blame you for being suspicious of me at first. I didn't much like being here with you both either."
"You do now?"
"I…I really don't know." It was days since she had thoughts of escape, but it was not fear or acceptance that was keeping her here. It was, she realized, a sense of belonging. That, and the fact that, against all sense and caution, she was in love with Kenshin. "I'll go see Megumi."
The need for female company was pressing, and that was another change. Before Kaoru had always kept her thoughts to herself, lest they trickle their way to their Geisha Mother. If she had some random encounter with a man in the city she wouldn't have dreamed of confiding in a friend about it. It was welcoming to have Megumi's good sense.
"He found you!" Megumi was playing with her youngest daughter, but she shooed the little girl off to play with her brother when she saw Kaoru's face. "Are you all right?"
"Yes. Yes, I'm perfectly all right." She sat down on the stool Megumi pushed towards her and stared at her own clasped hands. "I think."
"He made love to you?" The other woman pulled a stool close and put her arm around Kaoru's shoulders.
How did that woman do that? Was the news all over her face?"Umm."
"Do you want to ask me anything?"
Kaoru shook her head. She knew all about it, it wasn't her first time and her geisha Mother and older geisha sisters had told her all she needed to know about sex. "I…it was…I enjoyed it."
"Ho Ho! Well, good! I should hope so, with a man like that!" Megumi laughed and hugged her. "And better after the first time, I promise. You won't be so nervous and you'll enjoy yourself even more." Kaoru stole a sideways look and saw a flicker of anxiety cross Megumi's face. "When he-" she glanced to see where her children were. "When he finished, did he finish inside you or outside you?"
"Megumi!" Kaoru could feel her face reddening. "What does it matter?"
"It matters if you don't want a baby." She said, sitting up, rubbing her swollen stomach.
"Oh." Stupid Kaoru. Naively she had not thought of that, even with the constant reminder of Megumi's rapidly increasing figure, and the warnings of her Mother. "Inside."
"Ah." Megumi took a deep breath. "Well, not to worry, and if there is one, Kenshin will look after you both."
"Yes." Kaoru said flatly. "I'm sure he will." She had not been able to think beyond the next day about what the future held for Kenshin and herself. A baby was impossible to imagine.
"You love him, don't you?"
Kaoru was so preoccupied that she answered without thinking. "Yes. Oh yes, so much. Megumi-you won't say anything? Please don't." She caught the other woman's hand in hers.
"No, I won't but he will surely know…I don't understand why he has not guessed it already. I could see it when he was wounded, even if you couldn't!"
"I am his slave." Kaoru said flatly. "He owns me; he does as he wishes with me. Now he is kind to me, and he seems to like me. He seemed to like having sex with me. Soon he will need to make a good marriage- to Tomoe probably. I do not want to be the slave he-" She struggled to find the right words but could only spit out the words she felt were true. "The girl he uses when he wants a change from his wife. I do not want to bring up children who have no father and a slave for a mother."
"He doesn't have to marry Tomoe." Megumi said slowly.
"What?" Kaoru stared at her. "Marry me? Is that what you are saying? You know that is not what he needs. Yahiko says Kenshin is King-worthy, that when Aoshi dies he is a contender to succeed and be leader. For that he needs the right wife who will bring him alliances, doesn't he? How many swords will I bring to his side?"
"They say that Aoshi's brother-in-law will marry Takeda's sister. His own wife is long dead."
"His sister?! There is a slight difference." Kaoru pointed out dryly. "That would strengthen the brother-in-law's position, wouldn't it?"
"Yes. With those who think, like Aoshi, that we should be some kind of new kingdom."
"What does Kenshin think?"
"Ask him. You may not be married to him, Kaoru but you are his woman now. Talk to him."
Kaoru nodded and got to her feet, pressing down on Megumi's shoulder to stop her from rising too. Megumi caught her wrist. "When are your courses due?"
"In a day or two."
"If they don't start then come and talk to me and we can go and talk to Kenshin about more than politics."
… . . …
Her courses came and Kenshin made no move to so much as touch her hand. Kaoru wondered if Megumi had said anything to him, and then became convinced of it when either he or Yahiko carried the water, lifted the cooking pots and lugged the firewood. She spent a day being embarrassed, then decided that the benefits outweighed the discomfort and let them do all the manual work.
And the cramps she had suffered before had vanished, she realized with delight. Whether it was simply that she was fitter than she had ever been, or whether it was a welcome outcome to making love so close to her time, she had no idea, but she felt well. If she had not been in such a state about Kenshin, she would have been unconditionally happier too.
At the end of the week they were nearing Osaka. The journey had been slower the further they went. It was hotter despite the fact they were into October, the road wore the landscape raw and difficult. There was an edginess about the way the men scanned the horizon constantly, the number of outriders patrolling the hills, the way the woman kept the children closer.
Kaoru realized that Kenshin was remaining as distant as a man who ate and slept every night next to the same wagon as her could be. Was it simply the same tensions that gripped them all, the sense that the closer they came to the ocean, with most of Japan at their back, the more vulnerable they all were? Or had Megumi told him she was in love with him, and he was avoiding her because of that? Or did he fear she would expect him to make love to her again and he did not want to? Talk to him, Megumi had said. Well, she would of if she could, for she had a head full of questions, but no chance to ask them.
But he had time to talk to Tomoe, she noticed, watching them through eyes narrowed by sunglare and suspicion as they stood in the shade of a grove of trees encircling a well. The boys were raising water to tip into the long troughs for the livestock and horses. Because their rest would last over an hour and they may as well water the animals. Tomoe had sauntered up, hips swinging in a predatory prowl that had Kaoru hissing with dislike. Instantly she had taken her water jug and gone back to the wagon, leaving them alone.
They made a handsome pair, she thought miserably. They were both strong, even though Tomoe cut a very feminine figure. Kenshin was tan from the sun, so was Tomoe. Not pale as the white make-up Kaoru used to wear as a geisha. Though, Kaoru was sure that by now she had roasted into a tan as dark as Kenshin's with her weeks in the sun. They were both so obviously with shared understanding and backgrounds. Tomoe was flirting, Kaoru decided, watching the way she gazed intently into Kenshin's eyes as he was speaking, the way the full red lips parted in little exclamations at what he said. The woman raised one elegantly long hand to touch her hair, allowing the sleeve of her tunic to fall back, baring her arm, and thin gold bangles chased themselves down, chiming like bells.
Battousai seemed intent, watching her. He smile and she immediately laughed, a sycophantic tinkle of amusement that grated on Kaoru's nerves. Tomoe turned to go, then glanced back over her shoulder, deploying her long lashes in a demure look that sat oddly with her almost physical self-assurance.
"Makes you want to throw up, doesn't it?" Yahiko observed.
"Yes." Kaoru agreed fervently, then caught herself. "What do you mean, Yahiko?"
"You know. She's all over him, expects to marry him. She'll be a pain in the butt when she does," he added gloomily. "Bossy cat."
Kaoru coughed back her laughter. She really shouldn't encourage him to be rude about the daughter of a powerful ally to his master. With masculine predictability, Kenshin was watching the retreating view of swaying hips with interest.
"She's very attractive." She said, trying to be fair.
"Huh! He's just bewitched by her tit- um, I mean…" Yahiko flustered a little before falling silent, blushing.
"Well, they are handsome tits" Kaoru said, straight faces, reducing him to whoops of adolescent laughter.
The silly joke lifted her spirits a fraction, making her feel as young and careless as the boy. Then she looked back at Kenshin and felt her stomach contract with longing. She and Yahiko might scoff at Tomoe, but the dark-haired woman was the one who would win, and make both their lives miserable.
"I'm going for a walk." She said to Yahiko. "I'll take Saitou so don't worry." The big wolf trotted at her side as she followed an old track along the river bank. After ten minutes strolling, it widened out and bent to cross the river by an ancient arched bridged, scarcely wide enough for one laden mule. Kaoru walked up and leaned on the parapet, staring down into the crystal-clear water beneath her. It was the color of Kenshin's eyes, just there at the edge of the shadows, she thought. Fish flickered over the pebbles, weeds rippled in the current and a little further down a late season blossom floated on surface. It was peace.
Saitou's head turned, the long muzzle lowered, then he gave a gruff bark of welcome and his tail began to wave. Kenshin .
Kaoru started to straighten up as he strode up the roughly laid slabs to her side. "I told Yahiko where I was going." She started defensively.
"I know. I wanted some peace too." He came to stand behind her. Kaoru lowered her forearms back onto the railing, seeing that Kenshin was not upset with her.
"There's fish here, but they look too small to eat."
Kenshin moved closer, his gi brushing against her, then he was leaning over, his hands braced either side of her elbows, her body trapped between his and the stone of the bridge. "Show me."
"There, see in the shadow." She swallowed, wondering why he had not stood beside her.
"I see." He bent his head and she felt his hair swing down to brush alongside the sensitive skin of her neck and shoulder. His hands moved to clasp her hips and he pulled her back against him in one smooth motion.
Kaoru gasped. He was obviously aroused. She wriggled, trying to stand up straight and turn away. What was he thinking? But Kenshin growled. She stood still at the warning. He began to bite gently up the column of her neck while one hand came around her. Then her kimono was being pushed up and she felt the friction of his hakama pants against the back of her bare thighs, then buttocks, a moment past then she felt hot flesh pressing against her.
"Kenshin!" She tried to turn, but he held her, bending her forward, holding her still. "Tomoe-"
"Tomoe's not here."
What did that mean? That if she was, he would be caressing her body? She was not going to be Tomoe's replacement.
His hand slid intimately between them, then between her thighs. Kaoru clamped her thighs together but his knee pushed her legs apart. His fingers slid into the core of her with deadly accuracy. "You are ready for me." He whispered in her ear. "Tell me to stop and I will."
"Yes!..no." But how? He braced himself over her and slid into her heat with a gasp of pleasure that forced an echo from her own lips. Trapped, penetrated, filled with shocked delight, Kaoru gazed down helplessly into the water below and saw her own reflection, Battousai's behind her. It was surprisingly arousing. He began to stoke slowly in and out, his clever, wicked hands knowingly caressing every sensitive part of her, forcing shameful moans from her throat. She arched her back against him.
"That's right Kaoru." His breathing was hoarse in her ears, the spiraling tension was gathering faster, harder, more intensely than before. Almost sobbing, she surrendered entirely to the demands of their bodies and felt the world splinter as he pulled free from her and convulsed against her back with a guttural cry. Below her, the water seemed to spin into a whirlpool, sucking their reflections down into the depths.
a/n For some reason this does not bode well for me. I would have the same feelings as Kaoru here. It does feel like Kenshin is using her. Perhaps that is his secret eh? Oh the plot thickens even as I write this. A baby would throw the whole thing for a loop wouldn't it. Poor Kaoru. Thanks for reading everyone! Reviews are loved!
p.s. I have posted a poll about what Kenshin Couples I should write about in my next series of stories. Please go on my profile and pick you favorite couples you want to read about. Pretty please! It will help me out a great deal.