Authors Note:
"Where the hell were you?" Okay I did not intend to leave you guys for so long without an update. I'm so terribly sorry about that! I spent the entire month of November writing, and finishing a novel, so please don't hate me.
"Well why were you gone for most of December?!" Writing a novel takes a HELL of a lot of energy. I was up until 2 AM on a regular basis, waking back up at five the next morning to go to school. I'm sick now because I am FINALLY getting the rest I need and my body is like: "HA NOPE." I spent November forgetting to eat simply because I was so caught up in the story. So I apologize for letting it lapse for so long.
"Why did this take so long to write?" I had to shift gears from writing original fiction, to writing fanfiction. They take up two distinctly different parts of my head and offer a different level of creation ability and a different level of depth. Most people don't look for symbols in fanfiction, and while I use them, they aren't as numerous as in my original fiction. "It seriously doesn't take you a month to do that." This is true. I've also been trying to catch up on school work because all my teachers thought it'd be funny to make 200 point projects due right before the holiday break, and right after. I'm writing an analysis on Dante's Divine Comedy. I did a 20 hour service project. Over all, I'm surprised I haven't just stopped doing stuff all together because of how much work that simply needs to be done.

You guys are probably tired of my whining and excuses now, so I'm just gonna post the chapter.

I do not own Homestuck, that belongs to Andrew Hussie.

Also Happy whatever seasonal holiday you tend to participate in this season 3 This is my Christmas present to you guys ;D

"-You're nothing Karkat, absolutely nothing." The clown raged and laughed. It was amusing to see the boy cower in fear. The specter was pleased with the look on Karkat's face. Karkat was suffering just as he had. "You're a coward. You chose to live while the rest of us died."

"G-gamzee." The small boy wheezed. Karkat's body ached all over. His wrists felt bruised, and his ribs hurt for where Gamzee had kicked him. "S-stop."

"YOU WANT ME TO STOP BROTHER? YOU WANT ME TO STOP?" Gamzee continued to laugh as he pulled Karkat to his chest. "I can't." The demon hissed. His voice was dangerous and laced with something that Karkat couldn't trace. "I can't stop Karkat. You killed me. You did this to me. You brought this on yourself." The face of rage was inches from the boy's face, and Karkat couldn't help but fixate on his lips.

They were the lips that he had been watching move since he was little. They were the lips that had evolved from the pouty ones of a child to the psychotic grin that now stretched across Gamzee's face. Smeared paint covered the normally pink buds, painting them a dark purple. "What'cha staring at Karbro?" The clown's voice took on a darker edge. "Sure as hell ain't me is it?"

"Gamzee." Karkat's voice was strained. He was resisting the urge to close the ever so small distance between them. Gamzee was his best friend, and this delusion, while terrifying, was still Gamzee. It was still the boy he had fallen for all those years ago. "Stop." This time Karkat's voice was stronger. The specter froze and tilted his head slightly.

"Who the hell do you think you motherfucking are? You don't have that kind of power here. Here you're fucking mine." The ghost closed the distance between the two as if to prove his point.

Their lips collided in an almost bruising kiss, but it was Karkat who took control. It was Karkat who dominated the kiss. The fragile boy tangled his fingers in Gamzee's hair, and it was the boy whose tongue danced about in the other's mouth.

The raging spector seemed to melt away as the two kissed, and soon Karkat was left with nothing. He was alone in the void, standing in a puddle of blood and darkness. "Gamzee?" His voice echoed about the empty space, and for a moment he was scared. What if he never got out of the abysmal hell? What if he was trapped forever?

Soon however, his fears were laid to rest. The darkness seemed to begin to change around him. The shadows weren't quite as dark, and the faint glow that appeared from his skin wasn't as bright. Soon all that surrounded him was white, and the puddle of blood had been sucked into the ground like rain water after a drought.

Movement caught Karkat's eye, and as the boy turned to face his new tormenter, he nearly fell to his knees. There was Gamzee, just as he was on the day of the accident. His hair was messy, his paint was smudged, but his smile was still wide across his face. Karkat's heart wanted to break. This was the boy he had destroyed.

"Karbro, they said you'd be coming up." The juggalo almost sounded disappointed. "I..I wasn't expecting you so soon. You still look so…so young."

"Of course I'm young. You are too." Karkat laughed as he tried to hide the tears streaming down his face. His best friend was back. His best friend was safe.

"…That…That isn't what I meant Karbro..I mean.." The boy's words were heavy, whether from his usual impairment or from grief Karkat wasn't sure. "You aren't supposed to be here yet…You've still got so much time."

"Time?" The boy laughed. If anything time was not something he had. He was done with time. It could stretch on without him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Karkat…Look at your hands." Gamzee only said Karkat's name when he was being serious. The clown's smile had faded, and was replaced with a look of concern. When Karkat complied he was shocked to see the jagged lines across his wrists.

"W-what?"

"Karkat…just where do you think you are?"

The cancer had thought that they were in another delusion of his. Yet another figment of his imagination, come to haunt his remaining sanity. "M-my head."

The taller boy shook his head. "N-no Karkat, this…this isn't your head." Gamzee was overcome by guilt. It was his fault that they boy was here. "It's over now."

"W-what is?"

Gamzee gave a weak smile. "The pain. It's over now. You don't have to worry about it anymore." The taller boy moved closer. He needed to be close to his friend. "You don't have to worry anymore Karkat."

"I-I'm dead?" The smaller boy was shocked. He wasn't even aware of his own passing. HE had been too out of sorts to even notice himself waste away.

"Not…not yet, but you…you're close Karkat." Gamzee hugged the boy. It was difficult to accept death when it came all too quickly. It was bad enough the boy hadn't even been aware of his actions. Gamzee had watched his friend's descent into madness and had hoped that he would pull himself out of it, and now it was almost too late. "You…You have a choice."

'A choice?' Karkat thought bitterly. If he had a choice in the matter he would have brought his friends back. He would have stopped the pain. He wouldn't be so alone. If he had a choice, he'd take everything back.

The older boy nodded. "Yeah bro, you've got a choice. You can either follow me through those pearly gates, or you can go back home."

"G-gamzee I…I can't."

"Why?"

"Because you're not there." Karkat's voice broke. It was the first time he had admitted to the real Gamzee that he loved him. "B-because you're not there, and I'm alone…" The boy's voice waivered; he wasn't even strong enough to say a sentence, how would he be strong enough to live?

Gamzee's face seemed to crumple. "What do you mean Karbro?" He hadn't told his friend of his affections, and now it was too late. If he told him now, then Karkat would refuse to go back. He would decide that death was the better of the two options, and Gamzee wanted him to live. Gamzee wanted him to be strong. He wanted him to be happy.

Karkat's voice continued to waiver as he spoke. "I-I can't do it Gamzee. I-I didn't get to tell you, but I love you. I-I wanted…I wanted to tell you before…b-b-but it was too late." Karkat's shoulders began to shake in fitful sobs. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kill you."

Gamzee closed the distance between him and his friend. The taller boy wrapped his arms around the thin figure and pulled him to his chest. The angel frowned at how cold Karkat was. The boy had always been warm when they were alive. "Karkat." The boy's sobs wouldn't stop, so Gamzee settled for simply holding him and comforting him in the only way he knew how. "Shoosh, it's okay now. It's okay. Shh." He shushed the boy, but secretly, he didn't want to let go. He didn't want to give up his friend to the cruel reality that waited him back on Earth, but he knew Karkat had to go. He didn't belong here.

Eventually the boy's sobs died down to quiet sniffles. "Gamzee…I can't go back. Not without you."

"You can Karkat. You can." The Capricorn held his friend close. "You can move on. It'll hurt yes, but you'll move on and you'll be okay. " The boy leaned down and kissed Karkat's forehead. His heart wanted to break. He wanted his friend to be in peace. He wanted all the pain to be over for his friend, it wasn't fair that he had to go on while the others rested. It wasn't fair what had happened. "You have to move on Karkat. You have to."

"You told me I had a choice!" The boy tried to keep the petulant tone out of his voice, but it still carried through. "You told me I could stay!"

"It..It is your choice Karkat, but…but please consider both of your options." Gamzee struggled to keep himself in check. It was his duty to make sure his friend went back home. It was his duty to turn Karkat from the gates of heaven. "Think…think of everyone you're leaving behind."

"Mom…"

"Yeah Karbro, think of your mother. She'd be devastated." It hurt to turn him away. It hurt to think that he was going back to suffer. Gamzee was infuriated with himself. Why couldn't he keep his friend with him? It wasn't like he was going to be happier on Earth.

The younger boy couldn't allow himself to picture his mother. She would find him, where ever he had ended up, bleeding from the wounds on his wrists, and presumably dead. She would call the ambulance, but by the time they arrived it would be too late to save her precious child.

The Capricorn pressed his lips to Karkat's cheek. If he were being perfectly honest with himself, the boy would have realized he was simply trying to distract Karkat from thinking upon the things that would make him leave. He didn't want Karkat to go. He didn't want Karkat back in that hell that had been deemed Earth. So Gamzee settled for distracting his friend as he leaned in close and brushed his lips against Karkat's.

The younger boy was startled at first, but then relaxed. It was sweet. It was gentle, and it was everything that Karkat had wanted. "Gamzee…" Karkat trailed off as he closed the distance between him again. The boy couldn't care if it was real or not, he was just simply glad for the closeness. The kiss was comforting to the boy. He was alone and scared, and Gamzee took away all of that.

Gamzee was shocked that Karkat kissed him back, but wouldn't complain. It was a long awaited nicety that he didn't ever think he was going to get. The older boy simply placed a hand on Karkat's lower back; his lips pressing up against Karkat's with more force.

Paint smudged and transferred from Gamzee to Karkat as the two continued their embrace. Fingers tangled in hair, while arms supported and pulled the other body closer. Karkat's entire body felt warm for the first time as the two broke apart for air. While Gamzee didn't need it, it was an accustomed habit for the younger boy. His chest heaved and his face flushed pink. "Gam…" Karkat' paused as he tried to remember what he was going to say.

The older boy simply shooshed him and kissed along the sensitive skin of Karkat's neck. Now wasn't the time for words. It was simply the time for the two of them to be close. Gamzee didn't want Karkat to leave, and even though he would eventually descend from heaven, the older boy couldn't help but want him to stay.

Karkat gasped as he felt Gamzee's lips kiss and suck on the delicate skin. His face continued to heat up as the older teen gently nipped at the skin around his collar. The teen's fingers simply tangled deeper into Gamzee's already messy hair as he gasped as the pale skin was assaulted.

"Karkat…" With their closeness the boys could feel what they had done to each other. Their heated kisses had triggered nature's instinct and they craved the closeness that only the other could bring. Gamzee had never done this with Karkat, and he was certain that the boy hadn't done anything of that sort.

Karkat wouldn't allow for the moment of hesitation. The boy pressed their lips together again and simply pulled Gamzee closer. He wanted this, and that was all there was to wanted Gamzee to know just how much he needed him, and what better way to do it?

Gamzee hissed slightly as clothed hips brushed against Karkat's. The teen tried to hold himself together, but the temptation of Karkat being there, willing and needing was almost too much for him. The older boy slid his hands under Karkat's shirt; he wanted to feel the expanse of skin that was now hidden from him

Karkat could feel his skin jump at the foreign sensation of someone else's hands on his stomach. The boy didn't want to break their kiss, but wanted to remove the clothing that hindered Gamzee's exploration. The teen pulled away merely for the time it took for him to take off his shirt, and then connected their lips again.

Gamzee let out a small sound of approval as he moved to properly explore Karkat's body. He worked his way down, inch by inch, kissing, biting, and sucking the pale skin. It didn't mark the way he had wished it could have had they both been alive, but Gamzee took it. The teen kissed down his neck, chest, and nipped his way across Karkat's stomach.

"G-g-gamzee…f-fuck." The teasing had done its number on the boy, and it showed visibly on his form.

The older teen laughed at Karkat's visible arousal. "You okay Karbro?" Gamzee slid closer; hips pressing against hips.

"Y-yeah." Karkat decided to repay Gamzee's favor, and he pushed the boy to the soft ground. The teen pulled off Gamzee's shirt with clumsy fingers and kissed along the new skin. The shaking hands slid along skin, touching and caressing the heated flesh.

Gamzee arched into his touch. The paths that Karkat traced felt like currents of electricity jolting across his skin. He gasped as Karkat's fingers brushed against the edge of his jeans. The fabric was already low on his hips, and as Karkat's hands ghosted from hip to hip, he couldn't help but wish the fabric was gone. The teen swore as Karkat dipped down to kiss the patch of skin. Gamzee pulled Karkat up, crashing their lips together in an attempt to distract the boy as he rolled them.

Karkat gasped as his back hit the floor. Gamzee was too distracted to notice however, the older teen pressed their lips together even harder. Tongues danced for dominance and eventually Gamzee took control of the kiss. He pulled away long enough to smirk at his fuming friend, then began to assault Karkat's neck.

The teen bit and sucked at Karkat's neck, claiming the boy as his. Even if he couldn't physically mark him, Gamzee sure as hell tried. Karkat was whimpering by the end of it, needing the closeness that Gamzee was denying him. "G-gamzee, for the love of fuck…s-s-stop."

The clown halted his movements; worried about his friend. "What's wrong Karbro?"

"You-you fucking know what's wrong." Karkat lifted his hips slightly; pressing them into Gamzee's. The juggalo hissed out what sounded suspiciously like a 'honk' and gripped Karkat tighter.

"Fuck bro; don't be all up on a brother like that unless you plan to get with the process." Gamzee's mouth was inches from Karkat's ear, the threat sounding much more like a promise to the younger teen. The clown's tongue ran along the shell of his friend's ear. He enjoyed the way Karkat tasted. It was like a combination of vanilla, cinnamon and something that Gamzee just couldn't place.

Karkat ducked his head, blushing. "Gamzee, please…"

"Please what bro?" Gamzee smirked, dipping down to kiss along Karkat's navel and down to his hips.

The virginal boy blushed even brighter. Gamzee had to know what he wanted. This level of torture wasn't fair. He wanted to be closer. He wanted Gamzee in every way possible. Gamzee laughed and kissed him again, his hand sliding up Karkat's thigh. The boy gasped as he was shamelessly groped. "G-g-gamzee…I-I swear"

"What?" The culprit laughed and nipped at Karkat's neck. "You gotta tell me man, what do you want?"

Karkat stifled a moan as Gamzee shifted closer. "F-fuck Gamzee…" The teen arched as Gamzee played with the edge of his jeans. The fingers crept under the waistband and traced abstract patterns on the skin. The boy's skin was sensitive, and his face flushed an even darker shade of red as Gamzee's fingers slid back up to the edge of his jeans and wrapped around the fabric.

"Karbro, you going to be okay?" Gamzee was experiencing miracles of his own as the two brushed and touched. They were both affected by the other's presence, and their teasing had just made it worse. He wanted to know Karkat would be okay with the touches that were to come.

The boy nodded, not even daring to trust his voice. He was sure it would have given out if he had tried to even speak. He could hardly say Gamzee's name without stuttering, it couldn't be trusted for something as important as this.

The nod was all Gamzee needed to slide off Karkat's jeans and to toss them somewhere on the soft floor. "L-let me know if I hurt you..o-okay?" Gamzee was suddenly nervous. He didn't want to hurt Karkat, but at the same time he knew there would be some level of pain as he adjusted. Gamzee had never dealt with a virgin partner, except for himself.

"O-okay." Karkat blushed. He knew what he was getting himself into. He wasn't totally naïve about the experience. "Gamzee, I trust you."

"Alright bro… just hold tight for a moment." Gamzee removed his own jeans and underwear then sat down behind Karkat. He drew the smaller boy into his lap, and prayed that he wouldn't hurt him too bad. There wasn't anything Gamzee could use to help the boy adjust. "You ready Karbro?"

Again the teen nodded and took a deep breath to steady himself. He wanted this. He wanted Gamzee, and if the current erection between his legs wasn't enough to convince him otherwise, then Karkat wasn't sure what else would.

Gamzee nodded, but didn't move. It was Karkat's first time, and the current position they were in was terribly impersonal. It wasn't exactly the most comfortable of positions either. The older teen sighed, and then shifted them to where Karkat lay on his back. Now Gamzee could see his face and judge his actions based on that.

The older teen leaned down to capture Karkat's lips again, hoping to distract him from the burning sensation as the virgin was stretched and adjusted. The kiss did its job, and it wasn't until Gamzee was mostly seated that Karkat felt enough pain to be uncomfortable. "G-gamzee."

"Shh, it's okay Karbro. I'm trying to take it slow." The clown kissed along Karkat's jaw in hopes of distracting him. Gamzee could feel Karkat's muscles adjust and clench around him, and it was damn near impossible to stay still, yet he did it for Karkat. He wouldn't hurt his friend.

After a few moments Karkat was eventually relaxed enough for Gamzee to slowly begin to move, causing the smaller teens' breath to catch at the foreign sensation. "You okay Karbro?"

"F-fine." He shifted slightly in Gamzee's arms, and the movement had him seeing stars. He was more than fine.

Gamzee smirked as he realized what had just happened and began to aim his thrusts to that spot that had Karkat crying out for his lover.

It wasn't long before Karkat was reduced to a ball of swears and names. He cried out for Gamzee, he cried out for god, and he swore as Gamzee continued to hit the bundle of nerves that had him so close to finishing.

Gamzee's hands slid from their grip on Karkat's body to settle down at his waist. They crept lower to the spot between his legs and Gamzee helped Karkat reach his peak faster.

The boy swore and pulled Gamzee closer as the stars intensified. It was miraculous. While Karkat rode out the bliss of his orgasm, Gamzee was close behind. Their lips met again and Karkat swallowed the swears and the moans.

"Mother fuckin miracles." Gamzee toyed with Karkat's hair in their post coital bliss. The younger teen was snuggled up in his chest, comfortably warm. "You feeling okay Karbro?"

"Just fine." The pair smelled like sweat and sex, yet somehow the combination was pleasant to their sense of smell. For Gamzee it smelled like baked goods and musk. For Karkat, the smells were distinctly herbed.

Gamzee's paint was smudged from Karkat's lips to Gamzee's waist, from their activities, and it made the normally sullen teen laugh. "We're so gross."

"Nah man, we look good." And Gamzee was telling the truth. The paint that marked Karkat was almost as good as a bite-mark claiming the younger boy as his. Karkat's skin wouldn't be marred in heaven, but paint was the next best thing. He was sure that Karkat would stay now. He wouldn't be so lonely anymore.

Terezi wouldn't even talk to him half the time. She was too busy being depressed about dying. She had left behind a lot, but it still wasn't any reason not to enjoy the spoils of heaven. Maybe she'd be happier if Karkat were to show up.

Gamzee ran his fingers through Karkat's hair, and the teen could feel the smaller boy snuggle up closer to him. "Karbro…you gotta make your choice now. Are you staying?"

The words were almost to Karkat's lips when his vision began to darken. "G-gamzee?"

The clown swore and pulled the boy into his arms. "No! He wants to stay!" But his words weren't heard. Gamzee slowly faded into oblivion, and when Karkat opened his eyes he was greeted by the bright red lights of an ambulance outside his window.

Author's Note:I hope that this chapter makes up for my absence. It is by far one of the longest chapter's I've written for you guys, and the first of it's...content that I've ever written.
Enjoy,
Seraph