Bittersweet Void
Thanks to you all, I've reached over fifty reviews! In celebration, here is a long chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation
Chapter Ten
Blue eyes full of love and adoration stared into the pleasant green ones as Ryuichi walked into Touma's office. The singer of Nittle Grasper tore across the room, throwing himself over the older male's desk, colliding with Touma with a flying hug, nearly sending them both to the floor. "Touma, did you miss Kuma and I?"
The blond chuckled at his long-time friend's behavior before gesturing for the vocalist to sit down on one of the chairs that were across the desk. When Ryuichi was seated—it didn't matter that he kept bouncing in place—Touma spoke up. "I missed you very much." His pleasant smile faded. "Ryuichi, how long have we been friends?"
"Since before I can remember! We've always been best friends!" A child-like smile graced the hyper male's features.
Despite the positive energy that the younger male was displaying, this was no time for games. Touma's eyes turned serious, and his lips pressed into a thin line. "Taking that into account, you know why I've call you here, don't you?"
Sensing the sudden change in the atmosphere, Ryuichi's immature demeanor changed into that of a mature adult, and he put all games aside. "I don't know what you're talking about." His voice was impassive, hiding his current thoughts and emotions.
"Please tell me that the reason that you insisted on helping with Aizawa was just because Shindo is your friend? Tell me that your emotions don't run any deeper than that."
Ryuichi stood from the chair and walked over to the large window that overlooked the city behind Touma's desk. "I cannot tell you that," he answered with his back turned.
"Although I can't really influence you on this matter, I do want to make the suggestion that you do not allow your love for Shindo to cross the friendship barrier that is erected between you two." Touma placed his elbows on the desk and clasped his hands together, resting his forehead on them.
"Are you threatening me?" Ryuichi turned cold blue eyes to the president of NG, looking like every part of the demon that he was the previous night.
Wearing a shocked expression, Touma turned to meet Ryuichi's gaze. "No, Ryuichi, you of all people should know that I would never threaten you." A small glimpse of hurt flashed through his eyes—whether it was feigned or genuine was unknown. "You know that I would love to help you pursue your interest, and had it been anyone but Shindo, I would have. However, I cannot help you in this case. Eiri's happiness is my number one priority."
Ryuichi's eyes softened as he turned back to the window, and it seemed that he was seeing more than the city below him. A smile tugged at his lips despite the situation at hand. "Have you ever laid eyes on someone and knew right then and there that they were your world? Have that person's natural light caused all of your old dreams and aspirations to arise? Have you ever seen the world anew because that person's innocence demanded that you do so? Have you ever received a new perspective and purpose to live because of that person? Have you ever awakened, knowing that the world was alright because that person was in it?" Ryuichi turned an all-knowing gaze to Touma, digging into the older male's soul.
Touma returned Ryuichi's gaze with one of sadness and empathy. "You've known me longer than anyone, Ryuichi. You know the answer to that. You also know that it is for the same reason that I'm asking you to not pursue Shindo." The president of NG joined the younger male at the window.
"When I met him, I was able to overcome the demons from my past." Ryuichi's blue eyes darkened in retrospect, and Touma spared him a sympathetic gaze. They were the only two who had known about the singer's past, and it was anything but pretty. "After Shu came into my life, I didn't have to live a lie anymore because I had become youthful and vibrant. I didn't have to hide from my past anymore because it had ceased to matter."
A defeated sigh escaped Touma's lips. He knew that he was losing the battle. Ryuichi was his best friend, and he cared deeply about the male. Ryuichi knew that, and he was determined to play at his emotions in a way that only he and Eiri knew how to. This was truly a troublesome situation. "Ryuichi, I cannot support your cause."
"He was so pure and joyful. He was the type of person that you would want to lock away from the world so that no one or nothing could harm him. Then, tragedy struck, and you could do nothing but watch helplessly as his light died, and he changed into a completely different person. In hindsight, you blamed yourself because you couldn't stop it, yet you felt like you should have seen the signs so that you could've prevented the whole situation. Now, you have to live with your guilt, and your main goal is to bring back his light—the one that you've become addicted to and yearn for in its absence. You want to save him, thus saving yourself, for a piece of you died with that light."
The blond closed his eyes, hiding uncontained emotion. Ryuichi had combined and represented both Shuichi and Yuki with that story. Yuki had lost his light with Kitazawa, and Shuichi had lost his with Yuki. Ryuichi had successfully struck an empathetic cord by putting himself and Touma in the same boat, and both were working for the same cause, except it was for two different people. With the comparison came reason, though. He couldn't just allow Ryuichi to break Yuki again, no matter how much he and Ryuichi emphasized with each other. "I'm sorry, but I can't."
"It was hard watching the one that you love, love someone else. You pretended that you were happy, but on the inside, you were dying. You didn't want to interfere with their relationship, even though you knew that you could've treated them better, but you didn't want to ruin the love that they had. You looked at the one who had stolen their heart, and you envied them and the way that they kept the flame that you admired burning. You thought that it should've been you keeping that flame alive, not them."
"Even though I've told you that I cannot help your cause, you keep going. What are you trying to accomplish?" Touma's voice came out a little less strong than he would have liked. He was definitely cracking as Ryuichi kept telling a double story, exploiting both of their feelings.
"Touma, I've respected the boundaries when Shu was with Yuki. I've had to watch Yuki kill Shuichi's light, and not wanting to confuse him or become a meaningless rebound, I waited for him to recover. I know that you love Yuki more than anything, but I could care less about how he feels. I refuse to just stand by and give him permission to hurt Shu again. Shu is on the market again, and I will not stand idly while Yuki takes what is mine. I was considerate enough to not ruin Yuki's relationship when they were a couple, but they aren't anymore. I'm playing fair, and my reasons are justified.
"Let's say that circumstances were different for you, and you aren't married to Mika, but Shu and Yuki still had a relationship. Let's also say that this was a little over a year ago, and they were still together. Also, swap the roles where it was Shu being cold to Yuki, instead. While you despised Shu, you loved Yuki and didn't interfere with his choice. Afterwards, Shu breaks Yuki's heart one too many times, so Yuki decides to abandon the relationship. For a year, you wait for Yuki to learn how to live again, and you wait for the right time to make your move, only to have Shu return for Yuki. Would you hold your feelings in check to not only allow Yuki to be taken off the market again, but also to the very same person who had hurt them in the first place?"
Green eyes hid behind their lids to once again hide the emotion behind them. It wasn't fair when the person who knew you the most hit you below the belt like that, but the method was highly effective. Still, he couldn't just let Ryuichi take Shuichi away from Eiri. He had at least two more tactics to try before he gave up. "And if Shindo rejects you?"
"Then he will know that he has other options, and he doesn't have to settle for less." Ryuichi's reply was quick and sure.
"How will you go about trying to win his heart?" All emotion was gone from the green eyes as they reemerged from behind their eyelids, meeting with blue ones that were just as serious.
"I know that you are trying to make sure that I don't target Yuki, but you should know me better than that. My concern is with Shu, I have no interest in outside parties. I'm not the type to try to eliminate my competition, and as much as I don't like Yuki, I will not touch him. In fact, I act like he doesn't exist when I'm around him. Besides, when Shu chooses me, I will know that he genuinely wants to be with me and not just because he feels that he has no other option."
"I will not stop in my attempts to dissuade you. Also, I will not be responsible for Eiri's actions." Touma returned to his seat.
"And if you did, I would wonder if you were alright. The Touma that I know is stubborn, and he will try his hardest to get his way." Ryuichi turned toward the older male.
Touma looked up at the younger male. "And the Ryuichi that I know is just as stubborn."
"You've been protecting me and taking care of me for over twenty years, and I'm grateful, but I don't need you to protect me from Yuki." Ryuichi started toward the door after offering Touma a smile that dissipated any tension that lingered in the room. "And Touma, please don't allow this discussion to tear apart our lifelong friendship. Just think about it, if I steal Shu away from Yuki, then you could finally pursue your true prize, even if you were just a rebound."
"You know that I cannot do that." Touma sent Ryuichi a disapproving look. He couldn't indulge in his fantasies, but he wanted to so bad.
"Bye, Touma! Kuma and I love you!" Ryuichi reverted back to being immature, closing the door after himself.
Touma shook his head at the singer's exit. This had to have been the first time that the two have come so close to falling out, but in the end, he couldn't stay mad at Ryuichi. He just didn't have the heart to. Had it been anyone else, though, then he would have. He supposed that this whole conversation didn't even matter. Besides, he was already three steps ahead of the younger male, and he already had a back-up plan ready in case this scheme had failed. He had to admit, though, Ryuichi did have an excellent argument, and had they been talking about someone other than Eiri, Ryuichi would have won.
On a different note, Ryuichi was right in saying that he was stubborn, and that he would try his hardest to get his way. He left out one important fact in his statement, though—Touma always got his way… except with Eiri.
After a moment of thinking about how bad it was that he had to choose between his best friend and the one that he loved the most, his office phone rung, interrupting Touma. He considered not answering it for a moment, but thought better of it. Before the phone went to voicemail, he grabbed the receiver. "This is Seguchi… So he's invited Shindo over… And what did Shindo say… I see, so he will be spending the evening with Ryuichi… Have you heard anything about Eiri… Oh, he just called Eiri to tell him… No, don't stop Shindo, let him go… Yes, I have everything taken care of… The most that you can do for me is keep me updated… Now, if there isn't anything else, then I have to go… Bye."
With a cunning smile, Touma pressed the button on the base of his wired phone to hang it up. After holding it for a few moments, he released it and dialed a number. When the person picked up on the other end, he said, "It seems like you finally get your turn in this whole ordeal. My office is now free for discussing our plans."
Shuichi, Hiro, and Ryuichi all loaded into the back of NG's low profile van. When they were all secure, K glanced back to make sure that they were ready for him to leave. After Hiro was situated in one of the middle seats and the singers in the back seats, they gave the American the okay to go. With a cake-eating smile, he turned back to the road before assuming the chauffeur position.
"It's odd how you volunteered to take us to Ryuichi's. What's in it for you?" Shuichi asked suspiciously.
"I'm doing this as a personal favor for Ryuichi," K responded while keeping his eyes on the road.
Shuichi wasn't convinced. "Then why are you smiling like that? I've come to know that as your scheming smile." The American was plotting something, and he was determined to find out.
"Don't worry about him, Shu," Ryuichi assured while playing with Kumagoro. "We're gonna have fun! Isn't that right, Hiro?" Blue eyes separated from the pink bear to land on the brunet.
"Sorry guys, I can't come. Ayaka wants me to come home on time today." Blood rushed to Hiro's cheeks, and he nervously rubbed the back of his head.
"You mean no Hiro?" Ryuichi frowned, putting on his best puppy dog look and directed it at the guitarist.
Shuichi's eyes widened a slight bit, and his heartbeat quickened. He hadn't known that Hiro couldn't make it. He knew that he should have still been elated because he was going over his idol's house; however, he felt nervous about the whole situation. Maybe it was just because it would be his first time in his idol's domain. Whatever the case was, it still felt wrong to be over there alone. He felt like he should be guilty, like he was hurting someone by doing so, but none of it made sense. A fleeting thought crossed his mind that he should excuse to go home, too. Along with that, there was a piece of him that sort of missed his houseguest a small, little fraction. What was wrong with him today?
"Earth to Shuichi!" Hiro waved a hand in front of the singer's face to get his attention, snapping the man out of his stupor.
Oh yeah, he was supposed to be responding to Hiro about him having to go home early for Ayaka. Unlike his idol, Shuichi was excited for Hiro despite the predicament that it left him in. Not to mention that it provided him with a subject that he could tease Hiro about to help smother his current anxiety.
A perverted smirk crept up on Shuichi's face, and he pumped a fist in the air. "Yeah, get some!" His enthusiasm then deflated as fast as it arose. "Wait, how come I just learned about you and Ayaka dating two days ago? I haven't even heard about her in the last year or so. I thought that we were closer than that." Shuichi glared at his guitarist.
"We were keeping everything that would remind you of Yuki away from you," Hiro murmured, ashamed that he had to keep secrets from Shuichi.
Before Shuichi could respond, K added, "And it's a good thing that we did. You remeber the reaction that you had to her when you saw her at Hiroshi's? Let's not forget the one that you had toward her when she showed up at your door."
Shuichi deadpanned. "How do you even know about both of those? You weren't at Hiro's, and you came to my place until after the fact. Wait, come to think of it, you knew everything that happened before you even got there. Mind giving me an explanation?"
"Squirrel!" K yelled, yanking the steering wheel to the left, throwing Hiro and Ryuichi into the right windows. Since Shuichi was sitting on the left of Ryuichi, he slammed into the older singer. As if that wasn't bad enough, K slammed on the brakes, bringing the van to a screeching halt. The blond then turned to face his passengers while ignoring their many shouts of displeasure, saying, "You know, you guys really should buckle up."
"What the hell was that for, K?" Shuichi yelled over the other two.
"I didn't want to hit the squirrel, of course." A look of innocence played on K's face. Shrugging after seeing that his passengers were alive and livid, he turned back to the road and resumed driving.
"Are you okay, Shu?" Ryuichi's voice interjected.
The black-haired singer turned to the older singer. Upon realizing that he was all but sitting in Ryuichi's lap and that their faces were no more than two inches away from each other, Shuichi hurriedly scooted back to the left window while apologizing profusely to his idol. Automatically, he buckled up and stared out the window to hide the pink shade to his face. It just didn't feel right to be that close to the older male, and he was highly embarrassed.
Noticing the predicament that his best friend was in, Hiro decided to lighten the mood a little by means of a distraction. "So, Shu, we were talking about Ayaka and I dating."
Relief washed over Shuichi's face, and he silently thanked Hiro. His friend was too good to him sometimes. With this revelation, guilt arose in the singer. "You know that I… I, ah, didn't mean what I said about her. Truth be told, I didn't know what came over me. I'm happy for you two."
"I know that you didn't, but can you please try to control your subconscious thoughts if you're ever around her again? Best friend or not, nobody talks about her like that and gets away with it."
Shuichi blinked a few times at Hiro's hidden threat. Never before had he seen Hiro so serious with his threats to him, and never before had the guitarist been so passionate about someone. It was… admirable, and telling from the look in the brunet's eyes, he was deeply in love. Wanting to not think about how nice it would be to have someone feel that way about him, he decided to change his train of thoughts back to teasing his best friend. "Hiro, you're sprung!"
The brunet turned a beet red color. "Am not!"
"Then… pussy-whipped?" Shuichi added with a chuckle.
"Kuma, what does pussy-whipped mean?" Ryuichi looked to his pink companion for answers. After staring at the bunny for a prolonged period of time, he whispered, "I don't know either."
Ignoring the way that Hiro's eyebrow twitched, Shuichi added, "Or how abou—"
Hiro's fist interrupted the singer when it collided with Shuichi's mouth. "That is enough from you!"
"Hiro, you're so mean!" Ryuichi yelled, causing everyone in the van to flinch—he definitely had the lungs of a singer. "Are you okay, Shu?" He leaned in close to the younger male's face to inspect it.
Shuichi nearly hit his head against the window when he jerked back from the closeness of his idol. He put his hands in front of him assuring the older singer that he was alright and that Hiro didn't hit him that hard. That was the second time in a short period that he was so close to Ryuichi that he could feel the cool minty breath of the older singer on his face and it felt almost sensual, although he was sure that it was purely innocent. He hadn't realized that he was holding his breath until Ryuichi slid back over to his side of the van.
To ignore the weird sensation of his insides turning into mush and the unknown guilt that had arisen again, Shuichi directed his attention to the unhappy Hiro and laughed at how adorable the guitarist looked. To be honest, the male looked like an upset kitten, and that was a side of Hiro that little to none got a chance to witness. When Shuichi's laughter finally ceased, he put on a straight face because he had received a pointed look from the Hiro that didn't look so cute anymore. He could almost hear Hiro telling him to shut it. Once his friend had turned back around, Shuichi smiled, and then meowed like a cat, signifying that his friend was pussy-whipped.
"You're so dead!" The brunet was just about to jump into the back, but he was stopped by a stuffed pink bunny hitting him in the head.
"Kumagoro beam!"
Confused, Hiro blinked at the older male a few times. When he saw what looked like anger behind the child-like act, he decided that now wasn't the time to go after Shuichi. He then sent Shuichi a look that told him that when his body guard wasn't around, he would feel his wrath. The last thing that he needed was to receive a ton of random reactions from the singer of Nittle Grasper.
"Hiro wasn't being nice! But, Shu, you weren't being nice either! You shouldn't mess with him about being in love. It's the greatest feeling ever!" Without waiting from a response from Shuichi, Ryuichi grabbed Kuma and started playing with him again.
Feeling sheepish despite the slight scolding that he had just received from his idol, Shuichi waited until Hiro faced forward again before meowing again. He could practically see Hiro's hair stand on end, but the older male didn't turn around like he had hoped. Well, there goes his fun and distraction. Now what else was he going to do on this trip to not feel bad about going over Ryuichi's?
"And that's a wrap!" K exclaimed, turning off a small video camera. When Ryuichi tilted his head at the device in a questionable gesture, K said, "You know, that little fight could bring in a lot of publicity. It could be called Bad Luck and Grasper Gone Wild or Shindo, Nakano, and Sakuma: Behind Closed Doors. It could even be called Pussy-whipped or Sprung?"
Hiro deadpanned at his manager's antics of always trying to promote the band. He then realized that K was supposed to have been driving, not recording a video. Silently praying that the van was parked and not in motion, he asked, "How long have we been sitting here?"
K blinked a few times in confusion at Hiro. "We aren't sitting, we're still moving."
"What?"
"Calm down, Shuichi," K laughed, "we're parked outside of Ryuichi's." The manager waved a dismissive hand in the air. "How irresponsible do you think that I am?" When all but Ryuichi gave him flat looks, he brandished a pistol, pointing it back and forth between the two members of Bad Luck. "Well?"
Ignoring K, Shuichi's mind raced at the thought that he had run out of time to think of an excuse to get out of hanging out with Ryuichi alone. Although it seemed impossible, he couldn't lose hope just yet. There had to have been a way to politely worm his way out of it. If not, then Yuki would be mad at him. Wait, why was he thinking of Yuki?
"Shu, let's go!" In an attempt to get Shuichi inside quickly and to save the younger male from K, Ryuichi grabbed Shuichi's arm and all but dragged him out of the vehicle, killing Shuichi's plot for an escape.
When the two had disappeared into Ryuichi's condominium, Hiro turned to K. "You know that Ryuichi has a crush on Shu. And I know that with that knowledge, you're hoping that Shu will get with Ryuichi, causing Bad Luck to go higher than we already are. Also, you're thinking that by Shuichi being with his idol, he will become super motivated in his music. You're indirectly defying Touma's rule about not interfering with Yuki and Shuichi for the well-being of Bad Luck."
"Even if those were my plans, you weren't trying to stop me—you even made up an excuse so those two could have some alone time. Perhaps you want him to get with Ryuichi more than I do." K was just as perceptive.
"I just want him to play the fields before he makes any final decisions. In the end, he will choose who he wants without regrets, whether it be Yuki or Ryuichi."
"Devious, aren't we?"
Hiro shook his head. "No, I just want him to be happy."
"You need to lose your nobility and do something bad for a change." K scowled at the younger male. "Seriously, Hirosho, you act like an old man."
"You're the one who is almost one hundred years old." Much to Hiro's displeasure, the sound of a gun cocking followed his comment.
When the door to Ryuichi's condo closed, Shuichi knew that something was different. It felt like the atmosphere in the surrounding area had changed completely. Curious as to what was different but unable to bring himself to investigate, he took more time than needed to take off his shoes. When he had finished that task, he took a deep breath before meeting the blue gaze that he could feel on him. It was when his amethyst eyes collided with his idol that he realized that Ryuichi was the reason for the change in atmosphere. Before him wasn't the child-like man that he had known and loved—it was completely different person with the same face. The man before him was the very essence of Ryuichi with no facades in place. Those blue eyes that usually sparkled with a child's happiness held the knowledge of the real world and told many stories full of wisdom and hardships. Shuichi feared Ryuichi in this moment, but at the same time, he was in awe.
"What's wrong, Shu? You look like you've seen a ghost." Ryuichi casually walked across the living room to place Kumagoro on the couch. His stride was unhurried and that of complete confidence and grace.
Shuichi blinked as his eyes followed the other man's movements. It was then that he noticed that the condominium was clean, countering his assumptions of Ryuichi's place being completely cluttered and uninhabitable. Also, the carpet and curtains were a beige color, while the furniture was black. The little pieces of wall that weren't covered in framed pictures and awards were surprisingly white. The Ryuichi that he knew—or thought that he knew—would have all types of bright and crazy colors in his living quarters, or at least that was what he used to assume. This humanistic layout only proved two things to Shuichi—the man that he idolized was only human, and he had been hiding his true self from the world.
"Well, are you going to come in, or are you just going to stand at the door?" Ryuichi chuckled, running a hand through his dark hair.
Shuichi shuddered at his idol's voice. It was completely different from the high-pitched version that he was used to. It was deeper and more compelling, causing Shuichi's skin to tingle with every syllable. The real Ryuichi was hazardous, and Shuichi had grown uncomfortable. The line of friendship that had been built between the two singers dissolved, leaving the younger male to see Ryuichi for what he really was—his idol who he knew nothing about. He felt so inferior to the older male that it was intimidating. Would it even be appropriate to keep referring to the older man so casually? "Mr. Sakuma, I don't know if this was such a good idea." His amethyst eyes went to the ground, unable to face his idol.
Fingers that didn't belong to him ran through Shuichi's black locks, causing him to flinch. "Don't do that, Shu. Don't treat me like I'm different because you feel that you don't know me. I'm a human, just like you are. And just because I'm not acting immature doesn't mean that I'm any less Ryuichi than you are any less Shuichi."
Shuichi stepped out of Ryuichi's grasp, walking over to the couch. "You're so different now, though. I just thought that who I've come to know was the way that you were. I didn't know that there is another side to you. You seem more human, thus making you more inhuman."
"The immaturity is a part of me… to a point. When I was younger something terrible happened, so I used to act immature as a defense mechanism to help me cope, and it helped me convince myself that the world was still rainbows and sunny days. After I got a little older and we started Nittle Grasper, I started using it as a façade to deal with stress, and I found out that part of my charismatic charm was because of that same child-like attitude, so I refused to let it go, if only for the sake of the public eye. It had been going on so long, though, that I've come to rely on it. I know that I could drop the façade now without harming my career, but there is always that fear that the public won't accept the real me. The mask has been on for so long that it has become a part of me, and I'm scared that if I let it go, then I would no longer be the person who I am today. I know it sounds crazy, but the point of me telling you that was to let you know that I'm still the same person who you know."
To say that Shuichi was shocked would be an understatement. His idol had just trusted him with his flaws and insecurities, and it felt like they had a stronger bond than before.
After adequately composing himself, Shuichi turned to Ryuichi, seeing the fear of rejection shining behind those blue eyes. The older singer was afraid that he would not accept him for who he truly was, but Shuichi knew that despite the older male's fear, he would never turn his back on his idol. He was in too deep, and he couldn't even imagine abandoning the male. "Anyone who would reject the real you would be a fool." And he would be the last person to commit such a crime.
"Thank you, Shu. That really means a lot to me." Ryuichi gave a bright smile that lit up the room.
"Yeah." Shuichi nodded at the other male, giving a smile of his own. Despite having the feeling that something was off, he forced himself to stay. He just wished that whatever it was that he felt like he was missing would just go away. It was him and his idol, and he should be happy, not missing something that he didn't even know.
His last thought before a stereo was turned on by Ryuichi was that he hoped that Yuki was doing okay. Then again, why should he even care?
Hiro walked into his apartment and took off his shoes. His heartbeat increased when his eyes landed on the angel that was occupying his couch. Even though they had been dating for over a year, he still fell in love with her all over again every time that he looked at her. Numerous times in the past, he would wonder how he had gotten so lucky and obtained such a treasure. He knew that he didn't deserve her, but he was not complaining.
"Hiro?"
Without thinking, he was kneeled in front of her, waiting on her next words. That beautiful voice of hers was his undoing, and he would do anything that it asked of him. "Yes, what is it?"
"Please, leave Eiri be." Large blue eyes looked at him, piercing his soul.
He grabbed the hand that she had used to punch Shuichi with and ran his thumb over the light bruise that was left behind. He leaned down to kiss it before he turned his attention back to her eyes. "Where is this coming from?"
With her free hand, Ayaka brushed it over the darkening around Hiro's eye. "He loves Shindo very much, and I just want him to be happy." She didn't miss the way that Hiro's eyes narrowed slightly. "Don't take it the wrong way. Looking back, him choosing Shindo over me was the greatest thing that could have happened because I was able to experience how great of a man that you are. I have abandoned my feelings for him a long time ago, but I still want him to be happy. Shindo is the best person for him, and I want you as Shindo's best friend to give Eiri your blessings. You two can't keep fighting like you did at Shindo's because one day you're going to get more than a barely noticeable black eye, and I don't want that. I don't want you to keep risking your life and health." Her eyes shimmered, and she averted her gaze to the side.
Feeling his heart shatter at Ayaka's unshed tears, he leaned up and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Don't do that, Ayaka." He let out a heavy sigh. "As much as I would like to leave Shuichi and his decisions alone, I can't. Yuki has to prove to me that he is good enough for Shuichi." He tried to ignore the look on Ayaka's face, for he knew that he was putty in her hands. After releasing another large sigh, he added, "Okay, I will, but first he has to pass my test." The smile from Ayaka that followed his statement caused his heart to swell. Immediately after, her arms flew around him in a hug, and she thanked him. He would do anything for that smile to remain on Ayaka's face. Shuichi was right—he was sprung.
With the nagging feeling that Ryuichi was trying to steal Shuichi from him, Yuki all but snatched the front door of Shuichi's condo off of its hinges in his haste and anger. When he saw that Hiro was on the other side about to knock, he stopped in his advancement to his car. If Hiro was here, then where was Shuichi? His eyes searched the surrounding areas before widening at the realization that Hiro hadn't gone with Shuichi to Ryuichi's, meaning that the vocalist of Bad Luck was alone with Ryuichi. Although he didn't suspect that the older vocalist would try anything, he didn't push the possibility out of his mind because he didn't trust Ryuichi as far as he could throw him. "Why the fuck did you leave him and Shuichi alone? It's been three hours since all of you got off of work!"
Hiro's eyes narrowed at the novelist with as much hostility as Yuki felt. "Yeah, what of it? Shuichi can take care of himself." His hands clenched into fist at his side.
"And what if that freak tries something with him?" Yuki took a step toward Hiro in his anger. He was already upset, and beating the guitarist to a bloody pulp would help him a great deal.
Hiro didn't back down, instead he met the challenge by taking a step forward, too. "And if Ryuichi tries something with Shuichi, then he has a right to, just like anyone else. Shuichi is single and has been ever since you didn't return from New York."
Yuki grabbed a fistful of Hiro's shirt, snatching him closer. "I don't give a fuck! As far as I'm concerned, no one has any right to do anything that they want with Shuichi!" Yuki all but growled out.
Instead of breaking away from the novelist's hold on him, Hiro saw that he was getting under the older male's skin, so he decided to keep talking. "Face the facts. Your claim isn't legitimate on Shuichi so he can do whatever he wants with whomever. If he decides to choose another, then let him. You didn't give a damn about him before, so why start now?" A smirk appeared on Hiro's mouth when the blond released him.
Yuki turned away from Hiro, gazing at the darkening sky. "That's not true," he voiced barely above a whisper.
Being surprised at the older male's response, Hiro quirked an eyebrow in curiosity. "What's not true?" He advanced on Yuki's turned back, trying to hear his words better.
Yuki whipped around, his golden eyes full of unrestrained love. "I did care about Shuichi. I wasn't the best at expressing that, but I did fucking care. I did, I do, and I will always care for him, and that's why nobody can fucking have him except for me."
Hiro wouldn't have been more surprised if he seen a purple pig fly by. Did Yuki just really show some form of emotion besides that detached impassiveness? Shit! Perhaps Ayaka was right.
"Tell me something, Nakano." Yuki fixed hard eyes onto the younger male. "Does Ryuichi like Shuichi?"
The novelist's question snapped Hiro out of his thoughts of disbelief. Yuki did pass his test, so it would only be fair to answer the blonde's question to level out the competition. "Yeah."
"Fuck!" In his aggravation, Yuki ran a hand through his already messy hair. Without so much as another glance at the guitarist, Yuki headed to his car. He needed to get to Shuichi.
Hiro turned to watch the other man go. As much as he hated the guy, he couldn't help but admire the love that the novelist had for his friend. Yes, the guy did break Shuichi's heart, but the look in his eyes was that of someone who had learned his lesson and would bring the moon to Shuichi if he asked for it. He would give the blond one more chance, and if he messed that up, then he would have hell to pay. "You better not mess up again!" he yelled at the departing BMW. Despite his girlfriend's words, though, he still preferred if Ryuichi won his friend's heart. However, he would keep his preferences to himself. In this war that was bound to turn out ugly, he would stay noncommittal, only because of Ayaka.
Sweat trickled down Shuichi's face as he dropped down to his knees on the carpet floor. He didn't try to hide the fact that he was panting heavily, nor did he try to deny that he was tired. It had been too long since he had such a vigorous work out, but then, who would dance with Ryuichi for three hours and not be tired in the end? He did work out on a regular, but not for three hours straight. Hell, he didn't even have to dance for three hours straight at a concert. When a cold bottle of water was thrust into his hands, he took it greedily. After practically ripping the lid off, he chugged the whole thing in one go.
"Careful, I wouldn't want you to choke," Ryuichi panted out with a chuckle.
When he set the empty bottle down, Shuichi wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Sorry." He looked at the older singer who was sitting next to him on the floor. The look in Ryuichi's eyes didn't hold the same playfulness that his voice had held—it was one of a predator watching its prey. Shuichi swallowed hard and tingles ran down his spine. Nervous, he directed his attention elsewhere while trying to regulate his breathing—anywhere was better than that hungry gaze.
Formerly unimportant, the walls became very interesting to the singer of Bad Luck. At first, he looked to the walls by means of purely acting like he was distracted, but he wasn't prepared to find that the pictures that he had barely paid attention to earlier were of him throughout his career. Sure other pictures popped up occasionally, but his face dominated the wall. A hand going through his damp hair stole the attention from the various pictures, sending it to the older singer. Shuichi tried to resist the urge to flinch from the touch again, turning questioning amethyst eyes on the male. His heartbeat continued beating at a fast rate, but he doubted that it was from the dancing anymore.
"I miss the pink hair. It was vibrant, and it suited you well." Ryuichi pulled his fingers through the strands, retrieving his hand.
Trying to hide the pink shade to his cheeks, Shuichi turned away. He should really get going, things just weren't right here anymore. Besides, the emptiness that he felt earlier had increased by tenfold, and he couldn't stop thinking about how Yuki was doing. It was ironic, he couldn't wait to get away from Yuki, but now that he was away from the guy, he couldn't help but want to be with the guy. A hand cupped his chin, turning his face toward Ryuichi.
"Don't do that, Shu. You don't have to hide your face from me. I think that pink cheeks suit you."
Shuichi leaned out of his idol's grasp. This just wasn't regular friendliness that he had tried to tell himself that it was before. No, this was deeper. If he didn't know any better, he would have assumed that Ryuichi was hitting on him, but that couldn't be it, right? If that was the case… no, that wasn't the case. But, if it was, then could being in a relationship with the older singer possibly work? Yeah, the guy was amazing, his idol, gorgeous, charismatic, and overall fun, but he had never thought of Ryuichi like that. Besides, he had just come to terms with his sexuality. Was it strictly for Yuki, or could he actually date other guys, too? He shook his head to dispel the thoughts. Ryuichi was just overly friendly, that's all.
"What's on your mind?" Ryuichi whispered in the younger singer's ear.
Shuichi tensed up, and then tried to secretly scoot away from the male. He was not comfortable at all. "Eh, nothing."
"You looked pretty thoughtful to be thinking nothing, Shu. I've read people for a long time, and I can easily tell that you were deep in thought."
Shuichi exhaled a large breath of air. This was not good at all. He couldn't just keep assuming that Ryuichi liked him, he needed a definite answer. Closing his eyes and ignoring that his conscience yelling at him, he asked, "Ryuichi, how to you feel about me?"
"I can show you better than I can tell you."
Holding himself back from telling his idol that the line he just used was way too overused, Shuichi resulted in turning to give Ryuchi a what-the-hell look. "But you said that I should listen to my heart and make up my mind before I lose what is precious to me. Weren't you talking about Yuki?"
"That was what was on my mind about you at the time, I accidentally let it slip, and you misinterpreted the meaning because of my bad timing."
"So you lik—" Ryuichi's lips pressed into his, silencing him midsentence. The kiss was soft, yet demanding. Both of Ryuichi's hands found their way into his hair, pulling Shuichi's body against his own. Shuichi could feel the muscles of Ryuichi's torso pressed against his own.
The singer of Bad Luck wanted to give into the kiss, but something wasn't right. Unlike the times that he and Yuki recently kissed, Shuichi's mind went into overdrive instead of freezing. He felt like he was cheating on Yuki. No, they weren't together, but that was besides the fact. Also, he felt nothing—well, besides the fan boy side of him that was gushing with joy from getting somewhat physical with his idol. With Yuki, there was electricity, and it felt like his body was weightless, floating even. With Ryuichi there was… guilt. The type of guilt where you had someone else in mind, and you were betraying them.
Just as he was about to put his hands on Ryuichi's chest to push him away, a crash resonated through the room. His head snapped to the front door to investigate the noise, and his eyes met the very angry, very golden eyes of his current houseguest. He felt even guiltier that he was caught in the act of doing something that his conscience told him not to do by the person he didn't want to see, no less. Shuichi opened his mouth to give an explanation but decided against it, closing it. Yuki wasn't his father, so he shouldn't have to answer to him—at least that is what he told himself.
"Get your ass in the car, now!" Yuki glared into ashamed amethyst ones.
Without any snide remarks or arguments, Shuichi refused to look at Ryuichi and got up from the floor. When he walked over to the door to put his shoes on, he could feel the anger emanating from Yuki. Normally, he wouldn't give a flying fuck about anyone being mad at him, but this time was different. It was like his temporary submissiveness was fueled by his unknown guilt. As he slipped his second shoe on and started out of the condo, Ryuichi's voice stopped him.
"I had fun, Shu, I hope that we can do this again."
Shuichi froze in place, knowing that Ryuichi's words weren't helping his situation. He then proceeded to go to the car, trying to block out Yuki's voice. Damn, tonight was going to be a long night. Then again, why was he supposed to care again? He barely knew this Yuki guy who randomly popped into his life, claiming to be his ex. Still, despite the logic, he felt like shit.
Yuki watched as Shuichi got in the car. When the door closed, he turned to Ryuichi with all of the hatred that he could muster. Without bothering to take off his shoes, he stalked into the older male's condo, advancing on the relaxed looking singer who regarded him with bored eyes. With both of his hands, he grabbed Ryuichi by his sweaty t-shirt and snatched him to his feet. "What the fuck did you think that you were doing with Shuichi? Have you lost your damn mind?"
Wearing a stoic expression, Ryuichi glanced down at Yuki's shoes, and then glared up at the male. "You didn't take off your shoes. And I suggest that you removed your hands from my person before I do it for you." Ryuichi's glare turned into a dangerous one. "For the record, since you didn't get the memo, Shuichi is single. He won't be for long, though. I will win his heart." With one arm, he slapped the younger male's hands off of him.
"His heart belongs to me. This is your only warning, Sakuma. Back the fuck off. And the next time that you draw penises all over my car, I will wring your fucking neck."
"I may have immature tendencies, but I'm not that immature. And you heed my warning, Uesugi. The next time that you barge into my place, you will be leaving in a body bag. Shuichi is not yours, and once he remembers the things that you did to him, he will be in my arms. Now, get the hell outta my place."
"No."
Ryuichi narrowed his eyes. "What was that?"
"Hard of hearing? I said—"
"Hello, Ryuichi… oh, Eiri, I didn't know that you were here," Touma greeted, taking his shoes off at the door. "How did this lock get broken on your door?"
Not wanting to deal with his brother-in-law, Yuki turned and pushed by Touma, barely noting the fact that Tatsuha was standing behind the older male. He had to get the hell away from the bunny-loving freak before he murdered the male. When his younger brother called after him with a greeting, he replied with a go to hell before getting in his car and slamming the door behind him.
Without so much as a word to his passenger, he started the engine and backed up without looking for others cars or pedestrians. When he was on the road, he exceeded the speed limit more than a little. He didn't care, though. All he wanted to do was to get himself and Shuichi away from Ryuichi.
When he was several blocks away from the bunny-lover's place, his mind wandered to what he had seen when he busted into the condominium. Nothing in the world could have prepared him for the image of Shuichi kissing someone else. It felt like his heart was being carved out and stomped on. He would never utter it out loud, but he was heartbroken. Memories or not, didn't Shuichi know that he shouldn't have done it? Did the younger male not feel anything for him at all?
Like the times in his past when something occurred that was too much to handle, Yuki reverted back into being an emotionless prick. After burying his emotions somewhere deep down, he added more pressure to the gas pedal.
Moments later, Yuki and Shuichi were taking their shoes off at Shuichi's place. Before Shuichi had a chance to disappear, Yuki voice cause him to pause.
"You enjoy doing this to me, don't you?" The novelist closed the front door and locked it, advancing on Shuichi. When the younger male looked at him without saying anything, he slammed both hands on the wall beside both sides of Shuichi's face. "You just love seeing how far that you can take it until you make me snap—first with the constant outbursts and storming out on me, then with this. You don't like me when I'm being a gentleman, so I guess I'll just have to be an asshole."
"Get away from me! Move!" Shuichi slammed his palms against Yuki's chest in an attempt to get free; however, the novelist didn't budge.
"You should have been saying that to that freak. Tell me, does he kiss better than me? Did you initiate it or did he?"
Not wanting to turn into a mass of apologies like he felt like doing, Shuichi said, "I wanted to see if he was any good." The bad-ass façade should get the novelist to leave him alone for a time.
After studying the younger male, Yuki let out a humorless chuckle. "Even after all of this time, you still suck at lying." With his right arm, he wrapped it around the younger male and harshly closed the gap between their lips, forcefully grinding his hips into Shuichi's. He needed this, not only to alleviate his anger, but to also assure himself that Shuichi was here with him and not with Ryuichi. No more than a second had passed when he found that the roles had changed, and his back was being slammed against the wall by a ravenous black-haired male.
Chapter End
What do you think of this chapter? Too long? Too short? Too crazy? Not crazy enough? Remember, reviews tell me that I have to stay up late and write chapters while still going to college five days a week and coming home with tons of homework.