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Chapter eleven:

Bigfoot never had quite managed to take to Nikola, but considering recent events he had decided to try and be more pleasant to him. That being said, he was irritated to find the half-vampire in his kitchen.

"What are you doing?"

He approached one of the pans on the cooker and peered inside.

"I'm cooking." Nikola replied matter of factly.

Bigfoot let out a grunt of disapproval.

"Cooking?"

"Helen's had a rough week. I thought it would be a nice surprise for her." He paused, looking deep in thought. "There were times when we were at Oxford, when she allowed me the pleasure of her company in the evening. John wasn't aware of our meetings." He smiled to himself. "Despite people's narrowmindedness at a woman being allowed to study, she always kept herself composed in public. Some days I guess it bothered her more, and she'd come and talk to me about it. I wanted her to understand I didn't agree with the gender stereotypes. So I thought of something I could do that only a woman was expected to. I learnt to cook, and I only cooked for her. This dish was one of her favourites."

Bigfoot lifted the lid off the pan and sniffed the air above it. He wasn't interested in small talk, albeit it quite revealing small talk.

"Hmmm."

When he walked away without another word Nikola wondered if that was a good sign or a bad one. Then he decided he didn't much care for his approval. He knew what he was doing.

-

When Helen and Ashley returned they were laden with bags. Most of the items were for Ashley, but her daughter deserved a little spoiling once in a while. They'd had lunch out and the day had passed quickly. It was only now she was home she realised how long they'd been gone.

"Something smells good." Ashley said with an eager smile. She looked at Bigfoot expectantly, knowing he sometimes liked to indulge in some home cooking, but he just shrugged at her. She followed the smell and saw Nikola setting the table in the dining room. "Wow. I didn't expect you."

"Charming."

"It does smell good though."

Nikola smirked.

"I'm about ready to serve if you'd like to call everyone through." Ashley plonked herself down at the table, and pulled out her mobile phone. "You're not honestly going to phone them when they're in the same house are you?" He asked with disbelief.

"Hey, it's a big house." She said with a grin. "Mom? Yeah vampy's cooked for us…. All of us yeah… Um who cares it smells good… Okay see you in a minute… b-bye." She hung up and started drumming her hands on the table. Nikola couldn't hide his annoyance at the impatient gesture, and neither was he impressed at Ashley's nickname for him. But instead of commenting, he held his tongue and headed back into the kitchen to start serving up.

-

Helen felt a smile creep onto her face. Nikola had cooked. She found herself thinking back to her time at Oxford. The first time he'd cooked for her she'd been surprised to say the least. She'd never have dreamt of moaning about her day to John. He was a possible suitor for her, and he would not find that behaviour attractive. But she could moan to Nikola. He didn't seem to mind. He'd been a comfort many an evening.

She continued down the corridor to Anya's room, but hesitated. She could hear their conversation. She knew it wouldn't be long before Will went to speak to her.

"I just, help people and… move on. I'm not really needed after… you know? Don't get me wrong, the gratitude I'm shown… people have wanted me to stay with them for life but I just put them in danger."

"I'm sure that's not entirely true-"

"You don't understand."

Will winced at her irritation.

"I'm sorry."

"No I- I'm sorry. I know you're trying to understand, but you just don't. Every time I stay anywhere for too long they always find me."

"The Cabal?"

She nodded.

"I've seen what they want me for, what they'd make me do, and I won't accept it. They've hurt people that I've grown to care about. I always end up alone, I'm just cutting out the middle part. The part where I make friends and then lose them. It's easier this way."

"How is this easier?"

She sensed the sympathy and care in his voice, and she knew she was being off with him, but this was how she had to be. This was the way it was. She'd let the rules she made for herself slip with Nikola, seeing a sadness and resignation in him that she recognised in herself. But she couldn't let things slip again.

She could see Will was struggling. He was an observer. He was a thinker. He found the clues and pieced them together, but she wasn't giving him anything concrete to work with.

"I can't stay here." She said finally.

"You can. There's a place for you here. You can be safe."

"Even if I could, how many lives would be lost? I travel around because there are always more people I can help. It's so tiring… playing God…" she shrugged. Her eyes went black and she lifted them to his, searching inside him. "People have asked me what right it is of mine to decide who lives and dies. It's my right because it's my ability. The things that I've sacrificed to keep on doing this… it's just who I am. You adapt to it like you would with any situation."

"There's more to you than your ability. You have to remember that."

"What is it you see when you look at people Will? What do you see when you look at me? You try to figure people out, right? So you can connect with them? So that you can help them?"

"Yeah I- I guess."

"I don't have to try." She shrugged. "Everything's laid bare to me, I just look and I see it. I know I can stay here. I know you have a heart of gold. You want to help me so badly it hurts you. You want to help everyone. That's your gift. You see beyond boundaries and then you work out what it is you're seeing. But you can't understand me without my permission. And I can see it's got you puzzled."

"Am I such an open book?" He asked in awe.

"It might seem wonderful. When you have this insight, you can see some beautiful things, but you have to know you can see some really terrifying things too. Nothing's hidden from me."

"Is it like… a defense?"

"I know who I can trust and who I can't. So… I guess it keeps me safe. As safe as possible given my circumstances."