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Chapter 11- A clean getaway

'Hotch!' Morgan boisterously called out, 'Didn't I tell you to stay home?'

He jumped nimbly off his chair and hurried to the older man's side guiding him into the office. As expected Strauss stepped back horrified that the senior agent was sneezing uncontrollable all over her office.

Morgan hugged his colleague hard to his side like a proud father and turned to the director, 'Isn't he a trooper? He would come to work even if he was dead'

It was all that the profiler could do to hold on to his head so speaking was quite out of the question. He leaned heavily on Derek trusting in him to be his eyes while he hunted for his handkerchief. Obliging, the BAU leader installed him in a chair as close to the director's desk as possible. She gingerly moved a box of Kleenex towards the man and wheeled her own lounge chair away.

'I have a report here that SSA Prentiss is on sick leave' she began raising a voice a little to be heard over the man's thunderous sneezes.

She was actually reading a random sheet of paper off her desk so as to better disguise her shock at Hotchner's condition. The Director had the whole conversation planned but she forgot all of it as the man infront her clutched his head in his hands. What point was there in tormenting the proud and willful agent when he couldn't even hear anything?

Morgan patted the older man's head solicitously, 'It looks like Hotch may have caught it too when he picked up Emily from the ground. She fainted you see'

Hotch shook his head in denial.

'She fainted!' Strauss exclaimed in an appalled voice.

Good God, she hoped it was not catching. Her carefully planned holiday celebrations would be ruined!

Morgan helpfully sailed in, 'It was terrible ma'am. Fever, vomiting the works…I don't think I have ever seen anyone more sick!'

The Director flew out her chair as if she had been shot, 'Well…Aaron, while your dedication is commendable perhaps it would be best if you take the rest of the day off. In fact perhaps you should take the rest of the week to be absolutely sure. I'll make certain that cases are rerouted to the secondary teams'

'Ma'am that is …extremely kind of you! I am sure if Aaron could talk he would say the same thing' Derek exclaimed in wondrous surprise.

Strauss smiled at the dark skinned man and had to suppress a teenage like giggle when he winked roguishly at her.

'Let me just get him out of here' he interjected smoothly raising the half blind, half deaf agent off the chair, 'and I'll help you with the rest of these decorations, shall I?'

Strauss nodded pleased at this outcome. She had gotten rid off the unpleasant flu ridden Hotchner and she could enjoy Agent Morgan's delectable company for awhile longer. The day was looking up!

Morgan hustled his friend out of the office and pitched him towards the outstretched arms of the waiting Reid and Rossi. Gamely they caught his weight and they struggled like three drunks down the corridor. Derek's smile had reassured them that their little plan had worked. Exultantly they dragged their unfortunate associate into the men's room and propped him up on a toilet.

'Good work' Dave crowed, 'Hand me the antidote'

Reid watched a little concerned at the bout of sustained sneezing emanating from his co- worker.

'Antidote?' he squeaked, 'The sneezing powder only has an efficacy time of five minutes. How much did you pour on your handkerchief?! I said a pinch!'

'A pinch?' Rossi questioned, 'Why did you make a whole bowl if I was supposed to use a pinch?'

Hotch glared malevolently at the two men, as his nose dripped and his eyes watered. His sinuses may have been incapacitated but his brain was working just fine. How could they do this to him!

'Ah well….we'll all look back on this and laugh some day' the older man added patting the youngster's arm consolingly.

Thankfully, the sneezes died down to within the next half hour to about three per minute. Reid had scuttled off, scared that he would be blamed for this little hiccup in the plan, no pun intended. To complete the scenario, Dave had magnanimously offered to drive his colleague home, sweeping him into a manly embrace infront the entire bullpen as he helped his afflicted friend into the elevator. Hotch didn't know if he was more shocked at the plan that was concocted, or the fact the Dave was a willing participant. Rossi was oblivious to these thoughts as it was obvious that he had gotten quite caught up in the swing of things. He stuffed Hotch into the passenger seat and tossed his belongings energetically into the back.

As they drove out of the FBI's underground parking lot he turned to the younger man with a loud, 'that was fun!'

Hotch didn't dare speak as he was petrified that the sneezing would resume. Instead he scowled at his friend, promising with his eyes that he would visit unspeakable tortures on his person if he didn't wipe that infuriating grin off his face. He could a feel a sizeable headache coming on and with a moan he rested his head wearily on the door frame.

Rossi ignored all of this with a roll of his eyes. Sometimes he had to wonder which one of them was older. Aaron was such a stick in the mud at times. It was such a wonderful plan, elegant and simple. With it they were able to get some much needed downtime for Hotch as well as a reprieve before addressing the sticky issue of a romantic liaison between two BAU team members. Unless Morgan or Reid ratted them out no one would know of their little ruse. Hotch would have to stay indoors though, but since he was taking him to Emily's, he was sure that Aaron would be happy to stay out of sight. Dave wasn't remorseful at all. Strauss had it in for the team, anyone could see that and she seemed to take a perverse delight in harassing Aaron especially. It wasn't their fault that she had jumped to the wrong conclusion. Anyway this was about Hotch and Jack, not her. After the heartbreak of this year's events, Jack deserved to have his father home for Christmas!

As he swung into Emily's apartment complex, Dave went over Morgan's instructions in his head. He was to escort Hotch up the stairs to Emily's room. Hotch was not to sit in their living room nor use the kitchen facilities. He was instead to relieve Garcia and not fret about deceiving a superior officer. If all else failed Morgan had told him to bribe the former lead agent into submission by promising him a big stack of paper work when one of them swung by at lunchtime.

With a flourish Rossi opened the front door, 'Honey, we're home!'

Author's note: I wasn't sure about this chapter at all. I was trying to make it amusing but I think I may have strained the limits of believability too far. Review and let me know if you enjoyed the chapter even though it out of character for the BAU.