AN- Here I am, the proud owner of a GCSE in English language... Let's see if I can put it to good use in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight

Emmett walked down stairs, grumbling to himself. "Where's Jasper." I asked before he even reached the bottom step. He rolled his eyes at me.

Jasper had been right, I was a lot less tense now that I'd spoken about that night. The memories still came, they still upset me, but there wasn't that sense of dread about them. It would be a long time before I could overcome what had happened, parts of it I doubted would ever leave me completely, but for once things were starting to look up.

"That lover boy of yours has locked himself in his room." He said. I scowled at him.

"Emmett leave her alone" Carlisle said trying to hide his smile. I knew they were just happy for me but all this teasing was getting annoying. Carlisle's brows furrowed, "Is he ok?" He asked.

Emmett shrugged his shoulders, dropping down to the sofa. "Yeah he's fine, Sounds like he's purring, it's pretty weird." He said, I looked up concerned.

"Purring?" Carlisle asked, then turned back to his book.

I got up, shaking my head "You all spend so much time being human, you don't even know how to be vampires." When I got to the bottom of the stairs I turned back to them. "He's not fine, he's distressed." I got two blank stares. I threw up my arms. "Never mind."

I walked up the stairs, and remembering that the door was locked, I turned into the room beside Jasper's and swung out the window, over to his. I opened it carefully. His head whipped up towards the noise. A low growl slipping past his lips. He relaxed slightly when he saw it was me and turned back down.

He was sat on top of the bed with his back against the headboard, staring down at the bedspread. Low purrs rumbled in his chest.

I jumped down from the window sill and quietly shut the window behind me. I crawled onto the bed and scrambled up to his side. I carefully put my head on his shoulder, giving him a chance to pull away, and purred back to him.

I liked that I was comforting him and not the other way around, like usual. He began to pull away from me but when I grumbled in displeasure he remained still.

There were two reasons why vampires purred. One, was the reason everybody knew. Contentment. The reason a cat purrs when you stroke it.

The other was reassurance, it was a way to tell another that everything is ok. Which is what I was doing to Jasper now. However, when we get really distressed, a way to comfort yourself is to purr. I did it a lot myself when I was a newborn, when I was all alone. It's to reassure ourselves that nothing is wrong. It's not as effective but works when there is no alternative. This was what Emmett had heard from Jasper. It would be the only reason he'd purr to himself.

My family had spent so long pretending to be human that they didn't understand their own kind.

Jasper looked down at me. He wasn't used to any of the family making noises like this. "There's a lot more vampire in me than the rest of them." I told him.

I was probably the only one that understood any of the noises he made. He'd done it a lot when he first came, growls and hisses and purrs, it was all part of being a vampire and I know it confused him when we didn't respond correctly.

It was the animalistic side of our kind that my family denied. They accepted the speed and the strength because it was unnatural, but they didn't want to accept the animal characteristics.

I liked being this close to him, it was the first time I'd done so when I wasn't hysterical, or drowning in my memories. My head nuzzled against his shoulder without permission and my purrs changed to the content kind without me realising.

eventually Jaspers purrs ceased and i managed to get my own under control a couple of second later.

He pulled away from me awkwardly. Standing up from the bed. "What's wrong?' I asked

"I'm thirsty" he snapped though clenched teeth.

I knew this would happen sooner or later. It happened to all of us, it was kind of a withdrawal stage where the craving for human blood was at its peak, it would take a few weeks for it to die down again.

"Well then, we'll go hunting." I said.

"You know that's not what I mean, I want human blood."

it was important that he kept himself fed early on.

"Come hunting with me?" I asked, walking towards the window "Please" I added, and before he could think to much I opened it and jumped out.

I waited at the bottom for a few seconds, and for a couple of moments I thought he wasn't going to follow me, but then he jumped out and landed beside me.

"Where do you want to go, Miss?" He asked, he very rarely called me Alice these days. Except when he was trying to pull me out of my memories.

"What do you fancy?" He gave me a questioning look. I let my visions take over, searching for a meal. I found a few options and pulled myself back. "There's a heard of deer about a mile in that direction." I said pointing to the east. "Lots of them, easy to catch, but not very tasty."

"How'd you know that?" he asked.

I tapped my head. "My visions can be useful when they want to be."

He chuckled "if you can do that, why have I spent the last three months learning how to track down meals."

"Because I might not be here." It was very unlikely that I'd go anywhere without him, he knew that, but thankfully he didn't point it out.

You haven't tried bear yet have you?" he shook his head and I pointed to the north-west. "If we run about a mile and a half in that direction we'll be able to track one. They taste better." I looked up at him. "We can share it." I mumbled.

"Do you not want the bear for yourself?" He asked quietly.

I shook my head. "I can't drink a whole one, Emmett usually finishes them for me."

He nodded and gestured for me to go ahead of him.

It was easier to watch him when he wasn't watching me. He was crouched over the bear, the muscles of his shoulders were visible though his shirt, I traced them down to the small of his back. I wanted to feel those arms around me, like I'd seen in my visions.

I wanted to know more about him, I'd missed so much.

"How old were you when you were changed?" I blurted out before I could change my mind. He was in the middle of finishing what I'd left for him so it was a while before he answered me.

After he finished, he rose from his crouch, and wiped the blood from the corners of his lips with his thumb. "19, I think. I'm not entirely sure." he said slowly

I nodded...

"What about you?" He asked hesitantly. I never thought talking to Jasper would be this awkward, we'd always seemed so comfortable together in my visions.

"19" I told him, he chuckled and I turned to look at him.

"You look young for your age that's all." There was a tone of doubt in his voice

"I have the papers to prove it." I frowned as I remembered my trip to Mississippi and what I'd found there.

Jasper came closer to me and I felt the waves of calm wash over me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I said stiffly. He sighed and turned back towards the house. Esme's words rang in my mind 'talk to him.' Well it was now or never. I turned and went after him. Walking by his side, I reached for his hand before pulling back abruptly. I had to stop doing that.

"I don't remember." I whispered, his pace slowed so I didn't have to try so hard to keep up. "When I woke up I didn't remember anything... Whoever changed me, left me in the forest alone. I didn't know where, what or who I was."

He slowed to a walk, keeping pace beside me. I continued talking.

"I didn't remember being human, still don't, but about two years ago we met someone who remembered me, from before when I was human... James. He was after human Bella, he said she was payment for the one pray that escaped him...me. James said that my blood had sung to him, but another vampire had bitten me before he could catch me. He killed the other vampire in vengeance."

I debated on wether to tell him about the asylum, did I really want him to know that I was mad, that I was locked up like an animal and most likely drugged. I sighed in defeat. I needed to be honest with him.

"James said... He said that I'd been put in an asylum, because of my visions."

Jasper had been looking forward throughout my speech, but now he turned to face me."You had your gift as a human?"

I nodded "Apparently... Carlisle said that back then, 1920, they would have used electric shocks to try and stop them. That's probably why I can't remember, I would have been brain damaged when I was changed."

he didn't seem to know what to say, I didn't blame him, I wouldn't either.

I could feel him trying to calm me down. "You named yourself Alice?" He asked.

I froze. My first vision, I had always enjoyed recalling it when I was alone, but like everything else that reminded me of Jasper I'd pushed it away after that day. I remember trying to imagine the way his arms felt curled around my waist, and the look in his eyes as he leaned in and whispered 'My Alice" against my lips before kissing me.

"No... I..." I took a deep breath. "You did." I told him.

He watched me carefully probably picking up a strange mix of emotions from my side. "Me?" He asked

I nodded "You were my first vision, you called me Alice, so that's the name I took." I mumbled "Anyway," I said louder trying to change the subject. " I went back to Mississippi last year to find out more... Mary Alice Brandon, You weren't that far off with my name." I smirked when he looked away, almost embarrassed.

"Mary Alice Brandon" I whispered. "I found some of my important documents. My birth certificate. Which proves I was 19" I said pointedly " my admission form for the asylum. Even some old pictures... I visited my grave... The date of death was the same as the date on my admission form."

I pulled my cardigan tighter around my shoulders. "I'm sorry" he said.

I shrugged trying to appear unaffected. "My real parents didn't want me... but now I have a better family, one that wants me for me, visions and all."

"I'm glad you found them, after you thought I was..."

"Me too" I cut him off before he could finish his sentence, i didn't want the conversation to take that turn again.

I felt the panic begin to rise within me. It wasn't as bad now, it was easier to control but it was still there. I felt Jasper's hand on my back trying to calm me. He kept it there while we walked.

"Are you still thirsty?" I said trying to distract myself.

He frowned and I scolded myself for reminding him of the burn in his throat. "I'm not thirsty for animal blood."

"We've all been though it Jasper," I tried to reassure him "your not the only one, I promise. It's harder for you because you've lived off humans for so long." The voice in my head reminded me that decades of that was my fault. He must have felt it.

"it's not your fault." He said, as if reading my thoughts.

"A big part of it's my fault." I told him, he shook his head.

"You don't know that." He said.

"Yes I do." I told him picking up the pace. "Come with me."

AN- Well that's chapter eleven, I can't believe your all still with me! I didn't get many reviews for the last chapter, do you think the story is going to slow? Is it getting boring? Let me know and I'll try and fix it.

Please Review!

-B x