Disclaimer: Harry Potter and his wondrous world belong to J.K. Rowling. This story is just for kicks and giggles.
Summary: Snape's position as a spy is compromised when Harry's life is threatened. The beginnings of a journey together
Spoilers: For all the books since I've read them all at least once by the way, this story takes place after book five
Warning: This story is rated R for previous and upcoming events, including child abuse, graphic violence and the like. If you are bothered by such themes, I suggest that you do NOT read this chapter.
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Circumstance
By Libellule
Chapter Eleven
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And they were off, his eyes squeezed shut against the dizzying whirl of apparation.
Black fire streaked through his body, burning hot and wild. Harry knew right away that something was wrong.
Something had snapped, he'd felt the pop loud in his ears.
While he'd never apparated himself, he'd experienced it before, and knew that though they were moving impossibly fast, it was not quite fast enough, almost slow motion, as if any moment they'd drop into free fall.
Snape, however, did not allow them to fall. Harry's stomach reeled as they suddenly lurched to a halt, stopping dead, materializing in yet another room that he did not recognize.
The floor rushed up to meet them- its unyielding solidity inflexible beneath Harry's feet. The force of impact brought Harry stumbling to his knees. Snape went down with him, anchored as they were to each other.
With trembling hands, Snape released Harry. He peered at the boy slowly, his coal black eyes dull and listless. He swayed for a moment, before sagging forward, the life going out of him.
" Professor!" Harry exclaimed, catching him fast, supporting Snape against his chest before he could hit the floor.
Fear struck through him like lightning to a tree. Snape laid slack in his arms, lifeless as a ragdoll, his head lolled to one side as his hair fell in a black curtain obscuring his face.
"Professor Snape?" Harry asked. He gently turned Snape over, rolling him onto his back to check his breathing. Harry leaned in close, listening carefully. His breaths were slow, but he was breathing without trouble, not like before when his lips had turned blue and he couldn't inhale without wheezing.
It wouldn't do to let Snape stay on the floor. Harry glanced around at his surroundings, noticing for the first time how large the space was.
The room was old, creaking beneath their weight, but well kept. Solid oak furniture, polished to a shine, reflected the soft orange light of the crackling fire. There was a short corridor leading to another room, which Harry guessed was a second bedroom. If he didn't know better, Harry would swear that they were in the Leaky Cauldron. They couldn't be though, apparating a distance that far would likely kill Snape.
" Harry?" a voice asked from behind him. Whirling around, Harry looked up into the familiar visage of Dumbledore. Concern easily understood on his face, the older wizard knelt beside them, quicker than Harry thought a wizard of his age could.
"Are you all right my boy?" Dumbledore asked, his blue eyes staring over the rims of his half moon glasses.
"Yes, I'm fine, but Snape- he wasn't breathing right because he apparated-, " Harry stopped suddenly, confusion furrowing his brow. "Hang on- where are we? How did you find us? "
"You're in London, Harry, at the Leaky Cauldron," Dumbledore said calmly, moving around him to tend to Snape. He whispered, "mobilicorpus ," and carefully moved the unconscious wizard from the floor to the bed.
"What? " Harry asked, sitting back.
London... The word send reverberations through him, the implications of what that one word meant barely began to sink in. He really could have killed himself...
"He lied, " Harry finally managed to say. "He lied to me. "
Snape had apparated them the rest of the way to London- had there ever even been arrangements for a portkey?
For the second time that evening, Harry felt a blush of shame cross his face at his own naiveté. He didn't know why he was so surprised. Snape had no scruples about bending perceptions to suit his own needs.
" Professor Snape did not lie to you about the portkey," Dumbledore said. He crossed the small room and reached for a timepiece on the mantle. " This portkey had been active, but suddenly expired without notice. "
Suddenly, Harry's eyes widened. " Bellatrix!" he exclaimed. "She must have gotten to him first. They must have dueled-. "
"Bellatrix Lestrange found you?" Dumbledore asked, the twinkle in his eyes gone.
"Yes, she caught up to us in the tower, " Harry explained. He spent the next few minutes relaying to Dumbledore what had transpired since he'd seen them last (excluding a few details here and there, like the ice bridge incident and the grimy man from the tavern).
"You battled Bellatrix?" Dumbledore interrupted when Harry came to that part of the story.
"I wouldn't exactly call it a battle. I got lucky," Harry admitted. "She's unconscious and bound in the tower we were staying at in Lyft Rodor. "
"I'll contact the ministry right away. You best get some rest. There's an adjoining bedroom at the end of the hall. "
" Will Snape be okay?" Harry asked, glancing at the man on the bed. If Bellatrix had gotten to Snape before he reached the tower, who knows what damage could be done? Why didn't Harry realize it sooner?
" The exertion has depleted Professor Snape, but he should be just fine after a night's rest."
Suddenly fatigued, Harry allowed himself to be prodded from the room toward the second bedroom. Flopping down on the soft mattress, Harry found that despite his exhaustion he could not find sleep. Morose thoughts wracked his brain, keeping him awake .
He couldn't understand him. Why would Snape risk himself again? For what? For a boy he'd shown nothing but loathing to for five years? And here the man was, taxed to the point of unconsciousness, sending mixed messages to an already very confused teenaged boy.
He'd lied to him. Harry suspected it was because had he known of Snape's plans, he would have insisted that he find another way- the stubborn git. Again, Harry was treated like a child, whose feelings were inconsequential and unimportant, trivial to the adult who was supposed to know what's best. But Snape's continual concern for his safety was like a pebble in his shoe, small but irritating. It gnawed on him because it didn't make sense, didn't fit into the creepy bastard persona that Snape wanted him to believe.
As he rolled over to onto his side, Harry determined to find out sooner rather than later exactly what Snape's intentions were, but all details of those thoughts were lost as he found his way into a deep sleep.
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At first, Harry wasn't sure what had woke him. For the first time since leaving Leonora's house he had found himself in a deep, natural sleep. Warm and comfortable, Harry burrowed into the bed further, hugging a pillow to his chest.
"That's unacceptable, Albus! "
Harry's eyes snapped open as Snape's raised voice drifted through the ajar door of the adjoining room. The defeat in the Potion Master's voice was unmistakable.
Turning over onto his side, Harry faced the threshold, straining to hear the words coming from the other bedroom.
"You promised that boy safety when he reached London, " Snape said with indignation. Harry could hear, even from this distance, the labored breath that followed, the horrible wheezing from the wounded man.
" Calm yourself, Severus, " Dumbledore tutted, "I know what was said. "
"Then how can you sit there and ask me to be calm!" Snape growled. "How do you think Potter will react when he hears this? That child is an imp. "
Harry straightened at the mention of his name. Who's he calling imp?
" I hope he will be understanding, Severus, as I hoped you would be," Dumbledore said.
The voices became muffled again, though Harry was wide awake and attentive to every word. He got up from bed, crept to the door, ear tilted toward the conversation.
" ...with Death Eaters hot on our heels- Headmaster, he would be much better off in someone else's care. "
"Are you certain of that?" Dumbledore asked. "I am not. "
" He did not listen to me. His stupidity could have gotten him killed by Bellatrix Lestrange, " Snape snarled, "and I was useless to stop it." The anger in his voice startled Harry as it was directed inward, not at Harry.
"But he wasn't killed- were you Harry? " Dumbledore suddenly looked towards the threshold of the room where Harry was standing.
Snape sat up in his bed, obviously annoyed. Dumbledore rested calmly in a chair beside him with a cup of tea in his hands. "What's happened?" Harry questioned stepping timidly into Snape's room.
"It's not polite to eavesdrop, " Snape retorted folding his arms.
"I wasn't eavesdropping, I was sleeping until your bickering woke me up!" Harry snapped. He looked to Dumbledore for answers, though Harry wasn't sure how much he'd learn from the cryptic Headmaster.
"This can wait until morning, Harry, " Dumbledore said.
" I'll never be able to sleep if you don't tell me what's going on now. "
Dumbledore nodded in understanding. "You cannot return to Hogwarts, Harry. "
"What? " Harry asked dumbly, grabbing the door frame for support. Cannot return...
"Not for a while at least," Dumbledore said quickly at Harry's ashen face. " I had hoped to bring you and Severus there at this meeting, but we've had a serious and unfortunate mishap. " He paused (for dramatic emphasis, no doubt). "The castle has been attacked and infiltrated by Death Eaters."
Snape turned sharply, his black eyes keen and penetrating scrutinized the Headmaster.
" How could that happen?" Harry whispered, feeling coldness spread throughout him at the thought of Voldemort's followers invading his home.
" To be quite honest, it's still unclear how the Death Eaters broke into the castle. "
" Unclear? " Snape said incredulously, his dark eyes flashing.
That seemed to be a lie, Harry could tell from the dubious look on Snape's face that he suspected the old Headmaster wasn't telling the truth, but Dumbledore was not inclined to elaborate further.
"No one was injured, thank Merlin, " he continued, "but the castle did retain some damages and the protective wards have been compromised. I cannot guarantee your safety until they are rewritten. "
"You can't guarantee my safety anywhere!" Harry said, his voice rising. " What does it matter if I'm in danger at Hogwarts or somewhere else? "
"The boy does have a point, " Snape interjected. "Let him go back with you to Hogwarts. I'll continue on my own. Bellatrix saw us together- she will tell others that we're traveling together which will give Potter some allowance-. "
" I have secured a place for both of you," Dumbledore said effectively silencing Snape, " where you will be safe, and can find some peace until Hogwarts is secure again."
"And where's that? " Harry asked with a frown.
"On a small, secluded farm, " Dumbledore answered, " in Ireland. "
"We're skipping the country!" Harry exclaimed.
"So it would seem, Mr. Potter, " Snape said quietly. He was either too tired or too angry to argue.
"It's quite beautiful there, Harry, " Dumbledore said gently. "You'll have more freedom there than you ever would here. "
"How long?" Harry asked.
"A month at least. "
"You can't make me do this, " Harry said, quiet anger forcing his hands into fists. "You have no right. "
And with that Harry stalked off, trying to put space between him and the Headmaster.
That meddling, senile, old husk of a wizard! Harry thought furiously. Just who's life was it anyway? Shouldn't he, Harry, have some say over his own life? He had the right to make his own decisions about what he did with it. He certainly was not a child.
Dumbledore appeared at his door a few moments later, knocking gently to alert him to his presence.
" I know you are angry with me, Harry, but please hear me out, " he said, stepping into the room.
"I'm not going to Ireland, " Harry insisted. Not with him.
"I hope we can talk about this. "
"It's not fair!" Harry exclaimed with all the maturity of a petulant child. " All I wanted was to live my life and now- I can't talk to my friends, I can't go to the one place I consider home, and I have to spend Merlin knows how long with a man who despises me. I'm being punished for crimes that are not my own! "
Dumbledore nodded calmly. "Yes, Harry, it is unfair that this burden should fall on you. You will realize that these precautions are for your own protection-. "
"Yeah, yeah, I've heard that one before," Harry retorted. He knew he shouldn't sulk, but he couldn't help it.
" This is as much for your protection as it is for Professor Snape's," Dumbledore replied softly. "It's true that Severus is keeping an eye on you, but I know that you are watching out for him as well. "
Dumbledore placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, beseeching him earnestly. "I should not like to add to the burden on your young shoulders, but Severus needs a safehaven, a place where he can recover without fear of retaliation. You could protect him, Harry- you could protect each other."
Harry noticed the great weight of guilt in his eyes as they silently pleaded with him to concede. Honestly, he hadn't really thought about it that way. Reflecting on the recent incident, it was clear to him that Snape had not fully recovered, and showed little signs of progress.
"I fear that if he should walk out that door alone it would be the last time we ever see him," Dumbledore pressed.
It was a low blow, appealing to Harry's Gryffindor sense of honor. Dumbledore knew it, and played to Harry's weakness- knew that his sense of honor wouldn't allow him to let anyone die if he could help them- even someone as nasty and vile as Snape.
"When do we leave? " Harry asked quietly, conceding defeat.
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Dumbledore told Harry that he couldn't go downstairs for an early breakfast (or very late dinner), but he would have anything Harry would like brought up to the room. No one was supposed to know that the boy who lived was in London.
When a quick successions of knocks came at the door, Harry assumed that his meal had come, but when he opened the door he was more pleasantly surprised by Leonora.
"What are you doing here?" Harry said, " at this early hour, especially. "
"Dumbledore contacted me when you arrived, " she replied smiling. "Now give an old lady a hug, " she said, arms outstretched.
" It's good to see you," Harry said, returning her embrace. She was the warmth he needed right now.
" I couldn't let you go without a visit! " She said, holding Harry at arms length to get a good look at him. "How are you really? What happened since last I saw you? "
Harry didn't want to worry her, especially about Snape. "Oh, it was fine," he said casually.
She stared at him shrewdly over the tops of her glasses. "The three of you coddle me! I know by your reluctance to speak of it that it's been difficult. "
She leaned back a little, looking away. "He's still sick. He hides it so well, thinks he's fooling me. But I know as well as any mother would. Those who love him can see through his subtleties and unravel the truth that's hidden just beneath his somber exterior. "
Harry was conscience-stricken, knowing what Dumbledore had said. If Snape died, Leonora would lose the only son she'd ever known. He supposed he did owe Snape more than he would like to. He was so abrasive and caustic that it was nearly impossible to see the wounded man within.
" It's going to be tough, " Harry admitted. "We still don't get along. He's impossible. He never considers what I might feel or want. "
She smiled slightly. "He's not used to constant companionship. But he is good with his students." At the look he gave, she said, " He wouldn't be head of Slytherin house for so long if he wasn't."
"Well, he must be better with Slytherins than Gryffindors. "
Harry spilled forth his emotions, his anger at Snape and Dumbledore, and the overwhelming injustice of his situation. He hated how he had no control over his life, how it was run by others who thought they knew better than he did about his own life. He'd think this many times- he was a pawn in a chess game of wills between Dumbledore and Voldemort, not in control of his next move.
Leonora nodded, listing intently to Harry's concerns. She gave very sound advice. "You're in a very dangerous position. Keep your eyes open and head clear. Most importantly, take everything Severus says with a grain of salt. He's very proud. This sometimes makes him do or say things that seem callous. "
Checking her wrist watch, she sighed and said, " I must go now. There's just not enough time. Do take care, Harry. I want you home safe and sound, you hear? I know you have a lot on your young shoulders, more than any young man should have. If you ever need anything you can always come to me, Harry. "
" I will," he said earnestly.
She got up to leave. "I'll write you letters, muggle post, while you're away. "
" I would like that, " Harry replied, watching her go through Snape's room to say goodbye.
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Dumbledore came with Harry's breakfast, and a package tucked under his arm.
"Are you packed and ready? " he asked, setting down the tray.
"Yes, not much to gather, " Harry said.
" You'll be leaving in an hour, before it's light out. To arrive there safely undetected you must travel through muggle connections. I've arranged for an automobile to bring you to the Ferry."
He turned to leave, but then stopped, raising a finger thoughtfully in the air.
"Why I almost forgot," he said. Dumbledore handed Harry a large bundle wrapped in brown paper and bound with twine. " Happy Birthday, Harry."
" Thank you," Harry replied, turning the package over.
"It's letters from your friends," he said. "There are some gifts as well, all waiting for you at Hogwarts. " Dumbledore left Harry to his letters.
He'd lost track of the days on the road with Snape. Tomorrow was his birthday. He'd turn sixteen.
He smiled a little at the thought of it. He'd nearly forgotten his own birthday, sweet sixteen no less. Maybe at sixteen he'd get some respect.
Hermoine's letter was on top. She'd written a lengthy report about her concerns for him and his safety after the dreadful news of Death Eater attacks. A smaller brown envelope was nesting within and Harry was delighted to find a magical compass on a chain inside.
It didn't point North, but to the direction of anyone who had charmed the compass to his or her presence. (Harry noted that Hermione was standing to the north east of him.) A meter let him know how close he was to the person, when it glowed bright you had found your target. You could also charm it to alert to your enemies, which Hermione thought would be most helpful with Death Eaters afoot.
Ron's letter was much shorter, though he was no less concerned. He told Harry of Fred and George's latest escapades with their joke shop and the newest invention height enhancing candy canes , which didn't make you taller so much as elastic-like. The effects didn't last too long, although once you stretched your limbs, they would not shrink back to normal size until the candy was out of your system, which had made for an interesting night. They hope to perfect it in time for Christmas.
It didn't sound like either Hermione or Ron knew of the company he was keeping, that is to say Professor Snape.
Harry really didn't want to go. Simply, he was afraid of leaving, it seemed too much like running away, like cowardice. Harry suspected that Snape felt that way too. Old Dumbledore was playing them off each other and it was working beautifully.
Harry spied Snape moving in the other room.
He rose slowly from the bed, unaware that he was being watched. He winced audibly, closing his eyes for a moment as he waited for the spike of pain to pass.
He wasn't well, and hadn't been for quite some time. It was obvious now, in the white moonlight, seeing his tall form stagger from the simple act of standing.
He was such a bastard. He lied without remorse. He manipulated to get his way. He was completely intolerant of anything that didn't suit him.
Then why did Harry feel concern for him?
He's always protected me, Harry thought, whether I realized it or not.
Snape was a decent man, despite all his barbs and bad choices, his integrity could not be overcast by his dark demeanor. What did Leonora say... see through his subtleties and unravel the truth...
Harry really did owe him at least to see him well again. If leaving England meant he'd get his strength back, then he'd do it.
Harry paid his debts.
To be continued...
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Author's Notes:
So I suppose I have some groveling to do as I haven't posted in the longest time... I'm sorry! It's been crazy lately. Thank you for being so patient. I am very sorry for the wait. I hope you enjoyed this chapter- it's a longer one.
VERY important note: I posted a Harry and Snape illustration on my webjournal. It's in the art gallery, find the link on the left handside, or look for the link in my latest post. I don't know if anyone has seen it. It's a little bit of things to come. Please take a look.
As always, feedback is appreciated (oh please let me know how I'm doing!). Want to discuss? e-mail me please or visit my webjournal!
They're both in my ff . net profile, see above.
Thanks everyone!
-Li