"Baby, are you OK? You've been quiet all week." Roger asked finally looking over at Brenda as they sat on the couch.
"Yeah, I'm fine Roger. I'm just not feeling good. I think I'll go to bed." she said looking over at him.
"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked looking over at her.
"No. I'm OK. Stay here, OK?" she asked starting to get up from the couch.
"Bren, I love you." he smiled looking up at her.
"I know, I love you too Roger." she smiled before going into the bedroom. It had been almost a month since she was raped by James. She and Roger had been staying in a lot. She didn't want to run into James and have him say something to Roger about what happened between them that night. As she lay in her bed, she began to feel nauseous. She had been feeling nauseous a lot in the last week and she had been getting headaches too. She laid her head on the pillow and fell asleep. As she began to wake up, Roger was kissing her neck.
"Baby, are you up?" he asked quietly as he continued to kiss her.
"If I said no, would you believe me?" she asked smiling down at him.
"I love you Brenda." he whispered looking up at her.
"I love you too Roger." she smiled as they began making love before falling asleep in each others arms.
"So what brings you in Mrs. Davis?" the nurse asked as she began taking Brenda's blood pressure.
"I've been feeling really nauseous lately and I've been having a lot of headaches." she said looking over at her.
"When was your last period?" the nurse asked looking over at her.
"Um... I'm not sure. Maybe a little over a month ago." she said looking over at her.
"Is it possible you're pregnant?" the nurse asked taking the stethoscope out of her ears.
"Well... yeah, but..." she started before looking down at the floor.
"Why don't you go in the bathroom and give us a urine specimen and we'll take a pregnancy test?" she smiled looking over at her.
"OK." she said going into the bathroom. What if she was pregnant? It could be James'. She didn't know whether he used a condom or not. How was she gonna tell Roger? What if the baby wasn't Roger's. A lot of thoughts went through her head. What was she gonna do? When she finished in the bathroom, she left the cup on the back of the toilet and went into the examining room. When the doctor came in she looked up at him.
"Your test is positive Mrs. Davis. You're pregnant." he said looking over at her. After that sentence, she didn't hear much after that. According to the date of her last period she was 3 weeks pregnant. What was she gonna do? That meant the baby could be James'. She and Roger made love earlier the night James raped her, so it could be Roger's too. When the baby is born, Roger's gonna know if the baby is his or not. James has dark hair and brown eyes. She and Roger has blond hair and she had blue eyes and he had green. What was she gonna do? When she got home, Roger was still at work. Thankfully. It gave her time to figure out what she was gonna do. As she laid in the bed, she started thinking. She couldn't tell Roger about this baby until she knew it was his. Him knowing about James was still a bad idea. As she thought about what she was gonna do she fell asleep.
"Where's Bren?" Roger asked looking down at Collins as he walked into the loft.
"Sleeping, I think. I just got back about an hour ago." he smiled looking up at him.
"Is she OK?" he asked looking down at him.
"I don't know, but she's been weird lately." he said looking up at him.
"I know. She's been wanting to stay in every night. She doesn't even want to perform anymore. I'm worried about her. She was getting better, but now it seems like she's getting bad again." he said sitting on the couch next to him.
"I know. What are we gonna do?" Collins asked looking over at him.
"I don't know man. I don't know." Roger said as Brenda called out in her sleep.
"Roger. No, don't. Roger." she yelled as Roger and Collins went running into the bedroom.
"Baby, are you OK? Baby, it's me." Roger said sitting on the bed next to her.
"Roger, what happened?" she asked looking up at him coming out of her sleep.
"You had a bad dream Babygirl. You were calling out for Roger." Collins said sitting at the bottom of the bed rubbing her feet.
"Yeah, I'm OK. I just went for a walk in the park and it tired me out. How was work?" she asked looking up at him.
"Baby, were you dreaming about the baby?" he asked looking down at her.
"Yeah, yeah I was dreaming about the baby. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I was getting better." she said looking over at him.
"It's OK Baby. I'm here." he said taking her into his arms.
"I know Roger. You've always been here. Sometimes I don't deserve it, but you never left me." she said looking up at him.
"Baby, you deserve so much. Don't ever think you don't deserve anything." he said looking down at her.
"What do you wanna do tonight?" he asked looking down at her.
"I was thinking we could stay in. I'll make you something special for dinner." she smiled sitting up.
"We've been staying in a lot lately. Is everything OK Baby?" he asked looking down at her.
"Yeah Roger. Everything's great. I'm just sick of hanging out in bars." she told him as she got out of bed.
"OK Bren. What are you gonna make?" he asked looking over at her seeing that she was edgy.
"I was thinking maybe lasagna. You can make the sauce and I can cook it." she smiled looking over at her.
"I would love to make dinner with you." he smiled looking up at her as he got up to follow her into the kitchen.
"Brenda, are you almost done in there? I really have to get in there." Roger called out as he stood outside the bathroom door. Brenda was standing in front of the mirror looking at her belly. She still hadn't told Roger that she was pregnant and she was starting to show. She was almost 4 months pregnant. How was she gonna tell him now? She put her shirt down she went towards the door.
"Sorry, I was having a hard time with my hair." she said looking up at him as she opened the door.
"Bren, is everything OK? You've been weird lately." he asked looking down at her.
"Yeah Roger, I'm fine. You're gonna be late for work." she said going to the kitchen to make coffee for him.
"Brenda, talk to me. What's going on?" he asked going towards her.
"Nothing Baby. I'm fine. Do you want coffee?" she asked looking up at him.
"Are you sure? I can take the day off if you want me to. We can hang out together and talk." he offered looking down at her.
"I'm positive Roger. I'm fine. You can't take the day off, we need the money. You should go to work really. Collins is here. I'm fine." she said looking up at him.
"OK, I love you Brenda." he said leaning down to kiss her before taking her in his arms.
"I love you too Roger. You have no idea how much I love you." she said holding him tight before he went into the bathroom to get ready for work.
As Brenda sat in the loft trying to figure out what she was gonna do, she looked around the loft. She looked towards hers and Roger's room and then looked towards what was supposed to be their sons room. They had been living in the loft for a little over 2 years. Ever since they got married. A lot has happened since that wonderful day. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Roger more than she already had. She lost their baby and it almost tore them apart. Now she was pregnant with what could very well be another mans baby. She felt as if she had no choice. She had to leave. If Roger found out what James had done, there were so many things that could happen. The least of which was her losing him forever. She couldn't stand the thought of him hating her. She wrote him a letter telling him how much she loved him, but she needed to get away. She went into the bedroom and packed her things and some money. She picked up as many pictures of her and Roger as she could find before leaving the loft. She took the train to Grand Central and took the first bus that was leaving.