Part of the naruto_meme First Sentence meme, the June theme. Originally anonymous. Written on the spot/in one sitting on June 8th, 2010.
Prompt: Kabuto was torn between titles of his latest novel: Snakes in Rum, which was admittedly a small part of his story, versus the all too clinical How to Dominate Your Boss and Take Control of Your Life.
Title: Author
Words: 396
Genre(s): Humor
Character: Kabuto
Rating: K+
Notes: Crack!
Kabuto was torn between titles of his latest novel: Snakes in Rum, which was admittedly a small part of his story, versus the all too clinical How to Dominate Your Boss and Take Control of Your Life.
On the one hand, Snakes in Rum had a certain pizazz to it that the other one simply lacked. It was sure to have a more interesting cover (unless he marketed How to Dominate Your Boss to the erotica set), and he wouldn't have to deal with all sorts of middle-aged, soul-searching women coming to the book signings and weeping about how he changed their life and they named their dog after him and all that nonsense. (Of course, he did not plan on attending the book signings, publicity appearances being counterproductive to becoming a secret supervillain, but it was the principle of thing.)
On the other hand, the second title was quite straightforward. And despite his disdain for the target audience, there was no denying that the market for self-help books was thriving. He could probably get away with marketing the book as such for about a week before someone found out that the book was not, in fact, about speaking up for yourself in the workplace and putting some flirt in that skirt.
But there was a certain allure to Snakes in Rum that kept drawing him back, like the hypnotic music of a carnival ride. And with such a title he could give the book a "devil may care" vibe that would be sure to heighten the public perception of his masculinity. Reptiles + alcohol + Konan on the cover (if he could convince her- that was still up in the air) equaled one manly book. (Which, Kabuto was out to prove, was not an oxymoron.) Admittedly he didn't have much art direction, since Deidara had conveniently blown himself up, but they said that the best artists were mad...
A snakelike leer crept across his face.
Kabuto was certainly, certainly mad.