AN: Argh I forgot the warnings last chapter. Ah well, I'm sure you know what to expect by now XD.

Warnings: Language,

Dix

::

Imperfection peeked through in large quantity

Expression swallowed in perfection

I who sings black again. I who dyes black again.

Insult that smashed my head many times

-Leech, The GazettE

::

Yagami Raito was a robot. Oiled and polished to perfection, programmed to run a certain way at all times. He did what he was supposed to, what was expected of him. His machinery was timed specifically to follow a routine, he would wake up and help out wherever he could, go to school and score higher than everyone else, come home, and ignore his father's empty chair. And he never complained or said anything, because he was a robot, obedient and utterly flawless.

His parents liked to tell him how happy he should be. He had a loving family, some of the top grades in the country. Other people only wished that they could have children as wonderful as he was. He should be grateful. He should be proud. He should be glad.

But he wasn't, because he was a robot, and robots could not feel.

People just couldn't understand that.

"She loves you," L said in that monotone one day, out of the blue. He was sitting in that same chair, poised over his laptop. He did not look up, too busy running on his usual functions. "More than you think, she seems more attached than any of your other followers." There was a hint of disapproval in his voice, but Raito didn't take it seriously, because L had been programmed not to approve of such things. No matter how trivial. (And in his humble opinion, all matters involving Misa were mundane.)

"She doesn't know me," he said flatly. Misa doesn't love him, he's convinced. She loves his looks and his fake charm, his power and his popularity. She loves the person he pretends to be. But she doesn't love him. Not that he would know what love was.

"Hn?" L glances up pausing for a brief moment. Raito isn't quite sure why L asks, because he knows exactly what his companion means. He always knows.

Misa can't honestly love him, could she? Of course not, she doesn't know who he is, what he is. How could she?

He wasn't too sure himself.

::

"I asked for black and they gave me gray!" The high tone in Misa's voice hacked through Raito's thoughts like a chainsaw, ripping his train of thoughts into shreds. He flinched back from the sheer volume, blinking as though he'd just woken from a trance. Which, incidentally, he had. "And they're supposed to be professionals!" Misa shook her head at the injustice of it, pouting when she realized that he hadn't been listening to a single word. (It was frustrating how she refused to frown - was she really that shallow?) "Were you listening?" The blond sounded no different than usual, but for some reason, her voice seemed extremely shrill. It literally hurt, reverberating inside of his head like the ringing of a bell. "You're my fiance! You should at least listen to what I'm saying!"

How could he possibly listen to such drivel when his mind was tumbling away?

"My apologies dear," his face seemed to smile on its own, contradicting the frustration building up on the inside. What the hell did L mean he couldn't remember? "You were talking about shoes?"

Misa's round face puffed out. "No! It was my eyeshadow!" Of course, they were some of the only topics she seemed to know anything about.

Raito only nodded as though he was sorry for his mistake, looking down and pretending to read his menu. Honestly, didn't the girl have any other interests? Besides him of course. It took physical effort to keep from rolling his eyes as Misa prattled on about what she would wear as Kira's bride. Would she have been half as enthusiastic if L had been the original Kira?

L again.

L and his midnight eyes, wiped clean of all the wisdom they once held. That face that was both the most plain thing he'd ever seen, and at the same time, the most interesting. L and his-

"Raito!"

Damnit. "Hm?"

"You never answered me!" For a brief moment, the two locked eyes. Maybe it was just his imagination, but there was something accusatory about her gaze. He brushed the thought aside, accusing him of what exactly? No use wondering about something so vapid.

"Oh, right. I'm sure you'll look amazing in whatever you choose to wear." Throw in a 'sincere' look, and a small smile, almost as though you were picturing it, and bingo. The comment earned a girlish giggle, and another tirade. It was too easy, annoyingly so. She was everything L was not and vice versa.

It couldn't be true, could it? Amnesia? What was this, a soap? Raito was pretty sure those were the only places where such things happened. (Ha, maybe he should ask Sayu for advice.) If L couldn't recall their reign, then did that change everything? The older man was self-righteous, looking down upon anything and everything he thought of as amoral. Did...did that mean that he could no longer be trusted? Would he turn them in? The thought of being handed over to the incompetent Task Force in handcuffs, and having Sochiro look at him with disappointment filled him with frenzied rage. He could hear his own father already 'I thought I raised you better than that!'

"You never raised me at all!" The words slipped out in a harsh whisper before he had the chance to stop them.

Misa, poised over the low-carb section in her own menu looked up, ceasing her long description of their 'perfect wedding'. "What was that?"

Shit. He wasn't supposed to let matters of the past come up anymore, much less let them affect him. "Ah, I'm not really feeling like myself," he looked down when he said that, almost as if he was ashamed of admitting it. "I guess I have been away for too long, maybe I should have rested first." Raito caught sight of the disappointed look forming on the blond's face. "Too eager to see you, I suppose." (Mix in an embarrassed laugh and voilà! You've created clay in your own hands.) It even sounded like utter bullshit to his ears, but Misa drank it up.

"Aw, it's okay," she put a hand over his in what was supposed to be a reassuring manner. Did she honestly believe him? "When we get back, Misa-Misa will take care of you!" Would it have killed her to act her own damned age for once? Raito suddenly felt as though he was sitting across from an overgrown six-year-old.

Patience, he had to remind himself mentally. She's only trying to be nice... "You know Misa," he said, hating the sound of his own voice. It was thick and syrupy, too sweet. Sweets... had L finished that cake? An amused smirk made it's way onto his face - he'd promised the former detective that if it wasn't gone by the time he got back, he was going to have to feed him. L having to be force fed desert - that would be a sight, now wouldn't it? Lost in his own thoughts, he nearly forgot about the woman sitting across from him.

"Yes, sweetie?" Gag.

"I think we should move our location, don't you? Maybe move into something more spacious, in a quieter part of town."

There it was: that look in her eyes. "Why? So L won't have to sleep on the couch?" Misa absolutely detested their separate bedrooms, and made it known whenever possible. In the back of his mind, Raito made a mental note to make sure their next home had bedrooms even farther apart.

"That's the thing, I think we should leave Ryuzaki-" he stressed it as a means of correcting her, she wasn't close enough to him to call him L - "back at our current suite. I'll handle all of the details with him. Maybe a house instead of a hotel, so you can finally get the chance to redecorate."

Sold.

"Yay!" Misa squealed like a hormonal teenager at a concert, bouncing in her seat. "It'll be our first real apartment!" Grinning from ear-to-ear, she started a long list of all the things she'd always wanted to do with 'their' room. (Ha.) Something in his gut told him that redecorating wasn't exactly the real reason behind her excitement, but he ignored it.

Why hadn't he thought of it? He held the door open for Misa as the two left the restaurant before the bread arrived, heart pounding against his ribs. Who said that L would still be on justice's side...on his side? Raito shoved his hands in his pockets, staring straight ahead, eyes fixated on nothing in particular. He would check out of their hotel and move L back to the warehouse, cut off the phone lines, and keep him there. It would be harsh, he didn't think that the raven would respond too kindly to that, but necessary nonetheless. And, there was the fact that he could get away from Misa just long enough to find something.

The truth.

::

Misa took to the notebook, a fly to honey. Or, maybe a more accurate metaphor would be 'a moth to a flame'. L had seen the effects of it, no one, no one could do so much killing and not feel any kind of effect. There were times when even the great Kira would curl into a ball in the corner, covering his ears to block out the screams that haunted his nightmares. Where he would have arguments with himself when he thought no one could hear, screaming at his own conscience that everything he did, he did so with the world in mind. When the rush of power faded away, the adrenaline stopped pumping through those veins, things suddenly weren't so easy. She seemed to be the exception.

Her fingers were ablaze as she scrawled messy name after messy name from the stack of police reports her god had stolen. Blood-red eyes scrunched slightly in determination, for hours and hours until even redder cracks formed on them. L found it strange, and mildly disturbing to an extent. Raito, of course, found it incredibly amusing.

"You see that Ryuzaki," he said lazily, stretching out and yawning like a cat. Maybe cat wasn't the right word, L mused silently. More like a lion. "That's commitment and enthusiasm."

A blink. "That's obsession."

"Is it a crime that someone else is as committed to cleansing the world as I am?"

"Yes, actually, it is. That's called mass murder." That earned a brief look of surprise, almost as though the brunette hadn't believed that L would say it. He probably should have known better. The same way he should have known what he was doing to the girl. When she finally stopped writing, turning away from the Death Note with a wide grin on her face, it wasn't for a peaceful future. It was to hear him praise her in 'that voice' again. L snorted, picking up his laptop and typing away furiously. He probably did know what he was doing...the same thing he did to everyone.

For some reason, that hurt.

::

Raito slipped in through the door, closing it carefully. The lock clicked softly, yet somehow, it seemed to echo infinitely in the dark. It was a welcoming sight for his tired eyes, Misa had dragged him around Tokyo just so he could see her obnoxiously bright ads displayed just about everywhere possible. Ridding himself of the blond was like taking a winter coat off in July, an extreme relief. Not moving from his spot in front of the door, he switched the lights on, dimming them so that they cast an orange glow.

L was lying on the couch like Sleeping Beauty, hands folded over his chest. It seemed that everything had finally taken a toll on him, and he'd eventually had to give in to sleep. The raven looked peaceful for once, it was a nice change from the usual suspicion that he exuded. Dark hair framed his face like a halo of some sort and- oh god, had he really resorted to such a cliche? Yet, it seemed there was no other way to describe it. The brunette's breath hitched in his throat when he thought of the jagged 'L', staining that pale skin, red and angry. A blemish. He found some pleasure in that, the fact that he alone had been the one to tarnish the former detective, to drag him off of that 'L' pedestal.

And someone else had been the one to destroy it.

Accidental death, 12:43 AM

The name had been erased hard enough to leave a gaping hole in the paper when Raito had found it. According to Ryuk, someone could use the 'Death Eraser' to bring back anyone whose name had been written. Not only had someone tried to destroy half of Kira, but they apparently didn't even have the courage to follow through. The bastards.

All he needed was the proof, nothing more. L's little "accident" would be nothing but a small speed bump on the road to victory. A thing in the past. Once he was up there, who would care about L's leaving the police? Who would care about the methods used?

He turned the lights back off, making his way over to the couch slowly, lying down behind L's sleeping form.

L was his possession. A possession that someone else had damaged.

Question :p

- Which do you think is better, stories where Light is Kira (and psychotic), or the ones where he has no recollection of it?

I like the first one better, more emotional depth. Nice-Light is too...perfect and sparkly for me.

-Has anyone read the zero chapter of Death Note?

It's good, but compared to Light, the main character's boring :p. Taro Kagami uses the "Death Eraser" rule to bring the people he's accidentally killed back.