Meanwhile, before we get to the newly imprisoned Joffrey Baratheon and troubles of Tyrion and Sansa Lannister, a truly new messed up set of developments were about to take place...
Stannis Baratheon had decided on a new course of action, without consulting the Red Woman. She had sent messages to him, via ravens, about their new alliance with Cersei. But the more he thought about it, the more distasteful the idea of marrying and having to fuck, his late brother's whore wife, seemed to him.
No. Stannis could do better. And once he put things in motion, he would inform the Red Woman of the change in plans.
Stannis planned to tell Jon Snow that HE was his biological father!
He had managed to find out where the young man was hiding, so to speak. And he was shocked to hear that the tales were true: he did have a dragon. One that he alone seemed able to control.
Stannis was offered lodging and a meal from Jon, but Catelyn just glared at him, smelling a plot afoot! Stannis Baratheon had not been seen since his failed Blackwater battle. His wife had died since then(or been murdered by some evil priestess that Stannis was rumored to be sleeping with) and his young daughter was either rumored to be dead or had been sent into hiding.
Now here he was, in this remote locale, with something on his mind...
"Why are you here?" Jon asked. He did not want to linger long. The kids were feeding Viserys, who had grown to trust them. Catelyn didn't especially like how close the children were with the beast, but she allowed it. For now. The dragon was a powerful weapon that would be needed in toppling Daenerys Targaryen off of that throne.
Stannis stopped eating and ignored Catelyn's cold stare.
"I have come because you need me."
"I would dare say the reverse is true." Catelyn smirked. Stannis confronted her.
"I never gave my condolences on Ned's passing."
"My husband didn't 'pass'. He was murdered. By the Incest Bastard and his ilk. But worse yet, I know for a fact that Ned came to you for support in proving that Joffrey had no right to that crown. And you did nothing to help him." Catelyn sneered.
Jon looked from Catelyn to Stannis, but said nothing.
"It is true. But...Ned was an honorable man. He always was. I had none. That is why I did not stand with Lord Stark. That is why I allowed your husband, Catelyn, to take on my sins."
Catelyn's brow furrowed and Jon leaned forward.
""What is this?" Jon asked, unease in his tone. Catelyn was uneasy as well. Stannis was about to reveal something. Something that would benefit himself, and put herself twenty footfalls backwards.
"Ned claimed you as his own, Jon Snow, when I was unable to. You are my son."
Catelyn rolled her eyes and stood up!
"What falsehood is this?! YOU are Jon's father?"
"Yes. I am ashamed..."
"As you should be for daring to find voice for this outright LIE!" Catelyn snapped.
Jon stood up.
"Catelyn, I want to hear the rest of it." he said quietly.
Catelyn's jaw clenched, but she said no more. Stannis nodded approvingly and spoke.
"You were switched at birth with the infant Aegon, who God rest his soul, did not live long."
"I know all of that," Jon said wryly, "so if I was 'switched' with Aegon Targaryen, then you are saying what? That Elia Martell was my real mother?"
Catelyn couldn't stand this for one more second!
"You barely knew her! I remember seeing you at court chasing after my sister Lysa during those days! And if you are indeed Jon's 'father' and Elia Martell was his mother, then how would he be able to control a Targaryen dragon?"
"I am not claiming that Elia Martell was your mother, Jon," Stannis said, all but ignoring Catelyn's howls of rage, "I am saying that your mother is the priestess of R'hllor, Lady Melisandre of Asshai."
Catelyn gasped that Stannis would tell such a hellacious falsehood! But Stannis pressed on.
"My son," he said, looking into Jon's eyes, "the reason YOU are able to control the dragon, has nothing to do with your being a 'Targaryen'. You have some of your mother's gifts within you."
"You're saying it is magic?" Jon asked. But Catelyn had heard enough! She turned and left the room. Stannis nodded.
"Then I have no right to the Iron Throne?" Jon asked.
"No, but I think we can still make a claim. With your dragon, and your mother's gifts, I will take my place on the throne, that the Incest Bastard sullied for far too long. And the Queen is ruling with terror. We need to obtain another dragon."
Catelyn returned looking calm.
"Jon, we have all been hurt by many falsehoods over these years. Either falsehood or crude japes. If Stannis here is your true father, then he should swear to it before the Queen."
Stannis didn't know what this was all about, but he didn't want to hear anything about 'swearing' and 'Queen'. Jon slowly stood up.
"What are you proposing?" Jon asked. But he knew. And Catelyn brought voice to his thoughts.
"We are leaving for King's Landing. Stannis and I. I will represent YOUR interests on this matter. I was a poor mother to you, Jon, when you were a boy. I know you want to know your real father. I still contend that Rhaegar Targaryen was your father. I went to the other room and sent a message, by raven, to King's Landing. It said nothing about what was being alleged."
Jon pulled Catelyn into a corner, out of Stannis's hearing.
"Let's say Stannis is lying: surely he and the Red Woman are in this together? She will cover for him at court. She's on the Queen's council."
"Maybe. Maybe not. From what I have heard of Lady Melisandre of Asshai, she deals in magic. Not lies. She was the one that sent that thing to murder Renly Baratheon in front of myself and Brienne. A lie like this would make her position with the Queen insecure. I am not convinced she even knows about this. Besides, even if she does, THE QUEEN knows nothing of it. Stannis's plan is for you to believe this falsehood, outright, get an army together and ride into King's Landing so that HE can take the throne."
Jon said nothing. Catelyn was right. Stannis trying to take the Queen's throne would not please the woman in the slightest. And it was clear that Stannis wanted 'dragon backing'. But still, Stannis was not a stupid man. Could there be some truth to his words?
Jon made a decision. He nodded to Catelyn.
"I will get fresh horses for the two of you. And a man to ride with you, in case Stannis gives you any trouble."
Meanwhile, Stannis glared at Catelyn Stark with unabashed hatred! He had not known she would be here! And he could not have the Queen hearing of his plot before it could be put into play. Catelyn, and whatever man Jon sent along with them, would have to be killed before they reached King's Landing.
Meanwhile, Cersei and Sandor had stopped to rest a bit(actually Cersei had demanded that Sandor stop) and Cersei had taken a small nap under a tree. She had been through a lot as of late, what with Lord Baelish essentially leaving her to die. She could've been killed just being shoved out of that carriage, if she had fallen the wrong way!
Cersei was awakened, by the feel of cold steel against her neck! Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up to find Sandor standing over her in a menacing manner.
"Get up!" he ordered. Cersei's stomach lurched, as she took note that he addressed her with no title. She slowly rose. Sandor lowered the sword.
"While you were resting, I rode back aways. I could find no sign of any carriage accident, loose horses or dead people. And don't lie. The wood from a royal carriage alone, would've brought out scavengers and robbers. Why are you out in the middle of nowhere...alone?"
Cersei said nothing. Sandor continued on.
"I'm supposed to believe the Mormont let you travel out here alone?"
Cersei decided on a different tact. The truth. Mixed with a lie.
"Lord Mormont and I cease to be married. I was on my way to Winterfell accompanied by Lord Baelish. Lord Baelish and I had words, when he made his intentions towards Lady Lannister clear. He was in love with her mother and he planned to kill Lord Lannister and claim Sansa for his own. When I threatened to make it known, Lord Baelish threw me from the carriage. That is why we need to return to Winterfell! Sansa is in great danger!"
Sandor suddenly backed Cersei against the tree and welded his body against hers!
"That is 'Lady Lannister' to you, untitled whore. You don't think I remember how you allowed the incest bastard to torment Lady Lannister? I remember you sitting next to him and watching, as he fired arrows at her."
"He missed! And Joffrey was...playful."
Sandor smiled thinly. Cersei was repulsed by his burnt face, but wisely decided against commenting on it in that moment.
"Then you'll like how 'playful' I'm about to be...'My Lady'."
Cersei began screaming as Sandor covered her mouth with his own and she bit at his lips while gagging! He had lowered his codpiece and roughly reached under skirts to grab one of her thighs and wrap his arm around it, keeping it in place as to allow his cock access to her! Cersei bit his lip hard again and Sandor removed his lips from hers!
"Your filthy animal!" she screamed into his mouth. "I have no doubt your cock is as burnt as the rest of you!"
"You're about to find out!" Sandor growled.
"No, she is not." a voice said.
Sandor and Cersei turned their heads to find the Red Woman watching the near rape calmly. Sandor quickly released Cersei! He was no fool! This woman was a priestess and she was on the Queen's Council!
"My Lady...I did not hear you approach." Sandor said lamely.
"Of course not. You were in the middle of raping the fianc of Lord Stannis Baratheon. I came out here to search for his beloved, since the Queen has all but approved the marriage."
Sandor eyed her. That made no sense! Why would the Queen give a Baratheon anything? The way the witch was talking, Stannis would also be a Lord again. He bit his lip. If there was any truth to this...
The Red Woman walked up to him, unafraid. She rested the palm of her hand on his forehead and Cersei saw Sandor Clegane's eyes turn red for a moment, before The Red Woman released him.
"You do not see us. We are not here. Return to Winterfell this instant."
Sandor shook his head wildly! What was he doing out in the middle of nowhere? He must've gotten drunk or something! He had to get back to Winterfell before that damned Bronn got on his ass! Cersei watched as Sandor did not acknowledge either of them, then got on his horse and rode away quickly! Cersei corrected her dress.
"Thank you! What are you doing out here?" Cersei asked.
"Lord Baelish sent a note telling quite a strange tale of why you were out here alone. Neither I, nor Lord Varys, believed it. The Queen wanted you found. But we need to step up our plans to have you wed to Stannis, after he marries Queen Dany and slays her."
Cersei was never in love with the idea of wedding another Baratheon. But she was less in love with the idea of anyone thinking they could put their hands on her, because she was untitled. If Stannis Baratheon was the price to be paid for such a luxury, then she would gladly pay it.
Tyrion decided to gently break the news to Sansa, that Joffrey was on the grounds, albeit imprisoned, but a little too close for comfort!
He found her in their room, writing some sort of correspondence and trying to look as if she had not been crying! Seven hells! Had she heard about Joffrey from someone else?
Tyrion closed the door, announcing his entry. Sansa turned in her chair to look at him.
"I did not hear you." she sniffed.
"I can see that. What is troubling you so? Is it Joffrey?"
Sansa's eyes widened and she jumped up!
"Joffrey? Why would you mention him?"
Tyrion closed the distance between them and took her hands within his.
"Joffrey murdered one of the guards. It is also more than likely he murdered Marissa Fraust as well. He is imprisoned in the dungeons...along with Greyjoy. I came to inform you of this so that you would not be afraid."
"Oh." was all Sansa said to it.
"So I take it that Joffrey is not the cause of your tears?"
"I am not sad, My Lord. What do you intend to do with Joffrey?"
"I plan to send a raven to the Queen. She will order Lord Baelish to take Joffrey back to King's Landing with him, for his probably execution."
Sansa nodded. That seemed agreeable. Tyrion squeezed his wife's hand.
"Sansa, I am not leaving here or releasing your hands, until you tell me what has you so distressed?"
Sansa looked into his eyes, then spoke.
"Do I please you?"
"Of course."
"No...I mean do I please you when we are together?"
"Oh. Of course you do!"
"As much as Shae did?"
"Shae? Shae who, my darling?" Tyrion lied. Sansa snatched her hands from his and stood up!
"I know about her, Tyrion and I am not aggrieved by it. But it does bother me that she knew how to make your bed pleasing to you."
Tyrion eyed her.
"Where is this coming from?"
"It does not matter. I just feel inadequate." Sansa replied. Tyrion reached for her hands again.
"My beautiful darling, it pleases me that you CARE about pleasing me. I know that our newest prisoner is an uncomfortable fact. But I still think that we should continue to work on making a child before Lord Baelish arrives."
Sansa shook her head!
"I cannot couple with you with that monster on the property! The idea of it is too upsetting! And I am not a fool! Joffrey murdered Marissa because she resembled me, didn't he?"
"Now, now, darling! None of that matters! The Queen will be taking care of Joffrey. As a matter of fact, maybe we can travel to King's Landing to watch his execution. Now wouldn't you like that?"
Sansa swiped a tear but nodded. Yes, it would please her to see Joffrey lose his head, as he took her beloved father's.
"Alright," Tyrion said, "now, as for our other problem, I think we should go to the woods."
Sansa lost him.
"Go to the woods to what?"
"To conceive our child."
Sansa snatched her hands from his again!
"My Lord! Are you suggesting that we...we...we...lie with one another out in the elements? What would happen if an owl or some bird of prey attacked us? Plus we would be unclothed! I don't know..."
"Darling," Tyrion said, biting out the words, "what if Nymeria came along and watched over us. Would that ease your worry?"
Sansa thought about it. She supposed the direwolf could warn them if someone was coming. She nodded.
"I supposed that would be agreeable. She has been in here with us before."
Tyrion said nothing to that. He knew damned well the direwolf had 'been in here with us before'. He could not prove it, but he suspected Nymeria knew what they were doing and LIKED watching them! But he could not prove this, of course.
"Come. We will find a nice, shady spot, not far from Winterfell. Then, when we are done, I will go down to the dungeons myself and make sure that Joffrey is being properly tortured." he soothed, pulling one of his wife's hands to his lips for a kiss.
It would be almost moments later, that Tyrion lead her to the 'remote spot' in the woods! Nymeria sat crouched on all fours near a tree log and watched them intently(a little too intently for Tyrion's comfort). They were without clothing but soon Sansa lost her fear of discovery and discomfort, as she lay on her back on the leaf ridden ground. Tyrion was on top, sitting astride her and began building up passionate rhythm as he stroked his manhood within Sansa.
Sansa reached up to clutch Tyrion's buttocks, pushing them as if to trying to take more of him in. They moaned loudly as Lord Lannister continued to pump his hips, until he erupted inside of her. Nymeria, as if sensing that something important had happened, lifted her head and howled.
It was much later, when Tyrion made his way down to the dungeon and smiled bitterly at his nephew through the bars. Greyjoy was asleep in the next cell.
"Why did you come to Winterfell, nephew?" Tyrion asked coldly.
"You think you are so much better than me now, don't you 'Uncle'? You have an estate, a title and a wife. The wife I was supposed to have, I will well remind you." Joffrey hissed.
"Your wife was supposed to be Margaery Tyrell, I seem to recall," Tyrion said blithely, "I won't waste breath on you any longer. I have sent a raven to the Queen, requesting that Littlefinger, when he arrives, turns right around and leaves with YOU. Sansa and I will be attending your execution."
Joffrey grinned maniacally!
"Sansa and you? Sansa and you? Well done, uncle. You are actually speaking as if Sansa and yourself have a true marriage. Not even a traitorous whore like Sansa Stark, would share an imp's bed."
"You have referred to my wife as a 'whore'. Do you know this to be true?"
"What ARE you talking about?"
"You have leveled an accusation against my wife. LADY Lannister. Do you know of any other men that she has lain with, before her marriage to me?"
"No! Of course not!"
"Then you have lied on one of your betters, have you not?" Tyrion grinned. "For you have no title and Sansa and I do. That means you will have to be punished for speaking against her...BRONN!"
Bronn appeared grinning. He had a hot poker in his hand.
"You know what to do with that." Tyrion said, then backed away from the cells and left the dungeon. He heard Joffrey's faint screams of 'STAY BACK' before closing the dungeon block door. Once Bronn was done with Joffrey, Tyrion planned to take Bronn and some of the Winterfell guards into the village. The people needed to be informed that Joffrey was the murderer they sought and that he was being dealt with.
Little did Tyrion know, that had run out of time. Lord Peter Baelish and Sandor Clegane would arrive at Winterfell within the hour.