This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it. Also this is very AU, but it will take me awhile to get to stuff. Sorry.
I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.
Chapter 10
Jim was bored out of his brilliant and agile mind. He had been in Med-bay Three for a few days and he was going crazy. He needed to be doing something! He was starting to feel completely pointless!
Spock and Bones had been taking turns watching him; making sure he didn't do anything stupid. When they were both on duty Bones would send one of the bridged crew to stay with him. Sulu and Chekov had stayed for a bit, but he could tell they were dead tired from working double shifts and they left as soon as Spock had shown up. The others had all stopped in, but no one stayed long. They had things they needed to do, while he just lay around eating and sleeping. If he was really determined he might wheedle Spock into helping him walk across the hall and back.
"Captain?" Spock's voice pulled Jim from his morbid self-pity.
"Hey, what's happening?" Jim's voice was listless, but he couldn't seem to care. He was useless and would continue to be useless until Bones decided he was healthy.
"I have modified your PADD. It will transmit all written data to this," he handed Jim a small metal thing. Jim turned the object over in his hands; it was thin and light, about the size of one of his old paper books, with cool metal on three sides. The fourth side was an odd plastic that gave a little under his touch. The feel of the thing was familiar, but his memory of it was so old he couldn't place it. He sat up slowly, Spock helping by putting pillows behind him to prop him up, and ran his hand over the plastic screen again.
Jim felt Spock's cool hand brush over his as he explained, "This is a text to Braille translator. Doctor McCoy told me you are fluent in many forms of standard and non-standard tactile language, Captain."
Jim grinned, "Yeah! I learned Braille from my brother Sam. He bought me a Braille PADD when I was five; thought the challenge would do me good, but mostly used it to read a night or when…" Jim trailed off, not wanting to relive the dark hours he had spent in the closet when Sam and Frank fought or worse… Jim pulled the dark thoughts away as he let his fingers dance over the screen, "I'm a bit surprised that Bones is just going to let me have this though. I thought he wanted me to sleep myself to death."
Jim felt the side of his bed dip down as Spock sat, "Doctor McCoy is not going to 'just let you have this'. He has instructed me to take it away at your 'bedtime' and for meals."
Jim huffed, still grinning, as he turned the translator around in his good hand. "Hey Spock, where's the power button?"
Spock's cool hands brushed over his as he took the translator. Jim felt a faint thrill of energy where Spock touched. There was a click.
"It should be fully functional, Captain." Jim felt the PADD as it was set on his lap.
"Thanks Spock!" Jim let his fingers dance over the translator where it was attached to his PADD. It had been years since he had read anything in Braille; it would take a bit for him to get used with the controls, "Are you staying for cuddles tonight, Mr. Spock?"
"I will indeed, Captain." Jim grinned. It had become their private joke after Bones had asked Spock to cuddle with Jim to help him sleep. The first night in Med-bay Three had been a little awkward, at lest for Jim as he wasn't sure if Spock would cuddle with him and if he did… well wet dreams and touch telepaths don't mix well. Spock had taken to meditating while sitting on the edge of Jim's bed.
Jim felt Spock sift closer, settling more on the bed, until he could feel the cool Vulcan back along the length of his leg. Jim shifted, half turning, so more of his legs and part of his stomach was touching Spock's wonderful chill body. Jim would never admit it, but having Spock there as he slept was deeply comforting and did help him sleep.
"Would you like to go over the ship wide reports before dinner, Captain?" Spock's voice rumbled sending vibrations through his legs.
"Sure!" Jim grinned, as Spock's massage appeared as raised patterns under his fingers.
They worked, Jim typing more slowly than he liked, for several hours chatting amiably about different crew members and shift rotations. Eventually Jim asked how the Vulcans were doing in their new group meditation sessions.
"The sessions are helping greatly, Captain." Spock shifted, taking the PADD from under Jim's hand and pulling the blanket up around the younger man's shoulders, "However, you may need to mediate a new peace treaty between the Vulcans, the Andorians, and the Tellarites once you have fully recovered."
"I knew the Tellarites would be upset, but when are they not upset," Jim said, he didn't fight when his PADD was taken away. He was hungry and tired, but satisfied that he had at lest been of some help to Spock. He had even found a few weak spots in their security system that would need to be reinforced by secondary programs; that would give his something to useful do.
"And the Andorians are siding with the Tellarites in the belief that you are behaving preferentially toward the Vulcans." Spock said, his voice was low but there was a hint of irony as he said, "They have yet to bring their complaints to me, however."
Jim hummed lightly, "I'll see what I can do."
"Once you are fully recovered, Captain."
"That'll still be a week or two," Bones' voice cut in startling Jim, who hadn't heard the older man approach.
"Bones! " Jim grinned as he felt his bed shift and bounce as Bones lay down behind him.
"God kid! You smell terrible. When was the last time you had a sonic?"
Jim laughed as he lifted his good arm and leaned toward him, trying to force his armpit into the other man's face, "I don't know. When was the last time you gave me a sponge bath?"
Bones gagged, pushing Jim away and into Spock's back, "Sorry Spock."
"Not at all, Captain." Spock's voice was calm, but Jim felt him shift away from were Jim was pressed against him.
"No wonder you stink," Bones said, pushing him onto his back, "It's been days! Here, let me have a look at your hand."
Jim groaned, but let Bones pull him around.
"How's the pain?" Bones asked, his voice taking on a distinctly doctor-ish tone.
"Other than a little pressure I'm not feeling much of anything," Jim shifted until he was flat on his back as Bones twisted his left hand back and forth, pulling the bandages off and examining the wound.
"You're healing well," Bones said as he pressed something into palm of Jim's hand, which stung horribly.
"WHAT THE FUCK! Bones that hurts!" Jim barked as he tried to pull his hand back, away from the sudden burning pain that was spreading through his hand and down his arm like lava under his skin.
"Yeah, sorry about that." Bones' voice didn't sound even remotely apologetic, to Jim he sounded damn near gleeful. "That burning feeling twisting through your veins is an antibiotic, which you are now strong enough to take. So congratulations! You will get two of these a day, for the next month or so, which will also help desensitize your nerves! AND your skin is closed up enough that a sonic shower shouldn't bother it too much, as long as you keep it out of the main jets."
"I hate you," Jim shuttered trying to pull his hand away from Bones' firm grasp.
"Spock! Hold him while I re-bandage this," a pair of cool hands grabbed Jim's arms and held them over his chest.
"Calm down damn it!" There was a hissing sound and a cool mist covered Jim's hand, helping to cool the terrible burning but not much. Jim focused all his attention on Spock's cool hands where they gripped his arms.
Several minutes passed as Jim forces all his thoughts on the delicious chill of Spock's hands and on kicking Bones ass for not warning him. He always did that! Bones never seemed willing to just stop and warn him before he did something painful; the crazy sadistic bastard.
Spock's mind seemed to be following the same lines as he asked, "Why did you not warn the Captain that the antibiotic would be painful?"
"I know him too well," Bones answered distractedly, Jim imagined it was difficult to rap the bandages with his twitching around, "If I warn Jim I'm going to do something he either runs away or make me feel so damn guilty I can't do whatever it is. This way he's piss at me, but he's letting me fix him up. And he never stays mad long; though he might kick me out of bed for a bit."
"Damn right I will!" Jim growled, "You aren't getting anywhere near my glorious body for a month, bastard!"
"Yeah, yeah." Bones patted Jim on the head condescendingly, "I'll miss your firm pecks and toned ass. Come on! Who in their right mind would want to cuddle with their little brother? Anyway, you're here for at lest another week, while we wean you off the pain drugs, so I got the bed to myself. After that you can do your worst, but I'm betting you'll have forgiven me before then."
"Jerk…" Jim shifted, rolling his body closer to where Spock was standing over him, still holding his arms.
"Yeah, I'm horrible." Jim could almost hear Bones' eyes rolling, "The pain should be fading. I just have one more loop of bandage to tie off, then Spock can take you to get cleaned up while I get us all some dinner."
Jim groaned, but nodded. The burning pain, which had worked its way up his arm to his shoulder, was letting up slightly and the idea of a sonic and dinner was taking the edge off his righteous fury.
"Good boy," Bones' warm hands patted Jim's head once more before helping Spock pull him up and out if the bed.
He felt Spock's arm rap around his waist, holding him up as he swayed slightly. Bones even took a moment to calmly help Jim into his sling before hitting softly up side the head and barking at them to get going.
"You stink worse than a dead skunk."
Jim blew a kiss over his shoulder as Spock half-dragged half-carried him to the bathroom.
"I wish he wasn't right all the fucking time," Jim muttered as he shifted to lean on the sink.
Spock didn't answer for a minute, when he did his voice was low and questioning, "Dr. McCoy seems to genuinely care for you and you for him. It would seem logical for you to consider him as potential mate, or to have done so at some time."
"What?" Jim laughed, "Me and Bones? Good god no. You heard him we're like brothers. He help put me back together when I was broken. He has always put me back to together."
Jim waved his bandaged hand slightly, showing off Bones' latest work.
"Fascinating," Spock's hands, cool and solid, started helping Jim undress, pulling Jim's shirt off and started un-belting his pants.
Jim brushed Spock's hands away before the older man could pull his pants down for him, "I can take it from here Spock, thanks."
Spock's hands moved to rest on Jim's waist, holding him in place as Jim stood and started making his way to the shower.
"So I read a report that was sent to Pike earlier today," Jim said to distract himself from the feel of Spock's hands gripping him, "Something about the a Borg outpost blocking our direct course to the Jellyfish."
"Indeed, Captain," Jim thought he heard a hint of chagrin in Spock's voice, "There are fourteen colony worlds, fifty outposts, and approximately 783 relay stations directing thousands of Borg ships in this sector. It is highly improbable that we will find a course that does not take us close to a Borg facility of some sort."
"How much of a delay do you think will have this time, Mr. Spock?" Jim grinned, stumbling slightly as he walked into the shower stall with Spock following, still with a firm grip on Jim's waist to hold him up.
"At lest another week, Captain." Spock helped Jim lean against the wall.
"So about the time that I'll be released from Med-bay," Jim nudged Spock's arm softly, "How long have you and Chekov been working on this new course?"
"It was surprisingly simple, Captain," Spock's breath whispered along Jim's neck from where he stood behind him. "And highly logical to delay our arrival until we have our best computer technician as part of the away team."
"I'm flattered," Jim said as he patted Spock's hands, trying unsuccessfully to push them off, "I can wash myself, Spock."
"It is not flattery. I am merely stating facts, Captain." Spock's hands slid down Jim's hips, pushing Jim's pants lower, "As for washing yourself, I think you will find it is much more efficient if I assist you."
Jim shivered. The idea of Spock helping him wash was more than a little tempting. Hell he wanted it. He could already feel the silky Vulcan skin gliding over his chest. But he shouldn't; couldn't take advantage of Spock like that. Even if Spock was willing to indulge in a little light petting… No, Jim wasn't even going to think about the possibilities.
As Jim was talking himself out of molesting his first officer Spock was pulling Jim's pants off. A second later the sonics started surprising Jim and making him lose his balance.
Spock caught and quickly steadied him, "I believe you have proved my point for me, Captain."
"Yeah," Jim let out a shuddering sigh, "I guess I did."
Jim had also proved, at lest to himself, that he was not 'up' to even dreaming. He was weak and shacking from the brief flirtation with fantasy.
Jim felt himself sink back into Spock's arms as his breathing became ragged. He's earlier euphoria shattered, ripping away any false hope that he had somehow clung to.
They were not on a temporary exploratory mission. There was no small planet on the edge of somewhere waiting for them to settle in and make a new home. There was no hope of reconverting some small bit of the universe as it was before the Borg. They would never go home. There was no home for any of them to go back too. Tellar Prime had been the last Federation planet to fall to the Borg, but fall it did. There was nothing left. They, all of them every race that had ever existed, were either gone utterly and completely destroyed, or doomed to eke out a miserable half-life in hiding. Doomed to roam forever on the edge of a ravaged universe.
"JIM! SNAP OUT OF IT," Bones' voice broke though Jim's distraction, "You're scaring Spock."
Jim felt himself being lifted as Bones' voice echoed down to him, "Sorry bout this Spock, it's my fault. Should have seen this coming."
"Please explain," Spock's voice was deep and rumbling, as if worry was trembling inside him.
"See, when Jim entered the academy he was barely fifteen and had just survived a living Hell. He was living on the streets when Pike found him," There was a heartbeat when all Jim's nightmares were left unsaid. "Anyway, I incorporated showers into his therapy sessions. He needed a safe place to vent, somewhere he had never been hurt and oddly enough the shower worked. Sonic or water doesn't matter, once he's in he just let's himself go."
"That is most illogical," Spock sounded like he was growling… or purring, "I have showered with the Captain before."
"In the gym after sparring?" Bones asked, Jim felt a hypo being pressed into his neck.
Spock must have nodded because Bones continued, "He still holds it in if he's with other people, I really didn't think about him falling apart on you. He must trust you more than I thought. Anyway, he's coming around. Jim? Can you hear me?"
Jim nodded. The world was starting to come back into relative focus considering his eyes were closed. He wished suddenly that he could take his blindfold off.
"Anything you would like to tell me, Jimmy boy?" Jim felt Bones' hand brush over his hair.
Jim took a deep breath and shifted; suddenly noticing a pair of cool solid arms holding him. "Spock's holding me isn't he?"
"Like a baby. Now tell me what made you snap."
"I had an epiphany; I'm living a No-Win Scenario," Jim shifted; Spock wasn't hold him like a baby he was just supporting his back with his arms rapped around his chest, "That thought might have made me freak out a bit."
"Anything else?" Bones' voice was raw with sarcasm.
"I used to use left hand pinky to masturbate?" Jim grinned.
"I didn't hear that and I don't want to ever hear it again," Bones stormed out of the room closing the door sharply behind him.
Jim sighed and started pulling himself away from Spock, but Spock wouldn't let him.
"I believe I may have an answer to your dilemma, Captain," Spock voice was a low purr, Jim felt him being lifted and held close to a bare Vulcan chest.
"Which one?" Jim asked, half-hoping it had to do with pleasure rather than the apocalypse.
"I was referring to your difficulty with the No-Win Scenario involving the Borg," Spock purred, literally purred, so Jim could feel it rumbling in his own chest, "However given time I may be able to think of so method of stimulation you may find enjoyable."
Jim gulped, but nodded, "What's your answer to apocalypse, Mr. Spock?"
Jim felt a cool hand drift slowly from his chest to his side and back, "It is your answer to the Kobayashi Maru. We need to change the rules, Jim."