Writers Block is a bitch…yeah…enjoy…
Chapter 11 Silently Finding WaysThe drumming of the rain on the window snapped him out of his thoughts. Could've sworn it was sunny a minute ago… Shadow plopped down on the couch in the living room and buried his head in his hands, trying to relieve the headache that seemingly got worse with every passing second. It didn't work. He glanced over at his clock; it was almost 7:30. He sighed; a whole day practically wasted on account of trying to smack information out of this girl, and even then he didn't get 100% of everything he needed to know.
Her story was running through his mind, every word pounding against his skull, deafening his ears. Despite not knowing what may be the most important part of information from her, that didn't mean he would totally botch everything that she did tell him. It was amazing, absolutely unbelievable. Horrible, yes, but amazing nonetheless. It explained her situation perfectly, and it answered millions of questions Shadow had as well. All except that one question…
He didn't understand it. The reason he decided to buy her in the first place was to gain trust from her. Had he just made a mistake? Was his "good deed" all for nothing? He fell down on the couch onto his back and rubbed his temples. What the fuck am I going to do now? How the hell am I gonna convince her to tell me who her Master was? I thought I was finished with this! Things were supposed to be easier now!
For a while he found himself contemplating whether or not he should send her back to the SH, regardless of what she told him. The only reason he kept her here was to find out her story and take care of it as best he could. In a way, he already finished his side of the bargain. But she wasn't upholding hers. Her story revealed that she had a tough life, to say the least, and that whoever her Masters were, they need to be taken to the police for the treatment they (illegally) unleashed on Rouge. She also said that there's a good chance they might be looking for her, since she ran away without them knowing. If only he knew what they looked like or had their names he could easily turn them in. But since he didn't know this, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Sending her back to the SH would be both genius and ridiculous. Genius because then she would have the advantage of a new life, be taken care of regularly, and have a chance to start over with someone else who wishes to buy her. Shadow knew that she wouldn't have a problem finding another Master; she was gorgeous and kind and luckily, was only 18, which in reality is more or less a perfect age for a slave, especially female. She probably had better 'talents' in the bedroom as well, though Shadow had yet to examine them. Nonetheless, sending her back would be a deep advantage for her.
In contrast, the idea was ridiculous for obvious reasons. Sending her back to a SH would practically ensure them finding her and buying her back. And then the whole system would start over for her, and ultimately it would be Shadow's fault. He couldn't do that. Just like when he found her in the alley bleeding to death, he couldn't find it in himself to leave her there, and live with the fact that her certain death would be his fault. There was no way he could do this to her. No way. He wouldn't be able to live with knowing that he sent her back to that hell she escaped from. Even if there was a slim chance of her finding someone else, Shadow was too apprehensive to take that chance for her. To see this girl thrown back into the torment she left from, with nothing but a wing and a prayer to save her, and to have all of the blame boomeranged right back to him…
He immediately shoved the idea out of his head and refused to let it re-enter.
His eyes were barely drooping when he heard a bang come from the other room. Immediately his mind raced to Rouge, and he sprang up and perked his ears to hear if any other noise aroused. After consoling her after she revealed her story, he allowed her to take a nap on his bed. Could something have happened that would cause a loud bang? He listened. Nothing… not a sound; only the small and insignificant bang that couldn't signify whether or not something bad happened. Slowly he laid back down on the couch, flattening his ears.
And then he heard a scream.
Before his brain had a chance to draw any conclusions on the scream, his body jumped off the couch and ran to the bedroom. He had to stop himself before he literally ran into the door, his heart racing and the screams only getting louder. He jerked at the doorknob; it was locked. Why the hell would she lock the door? Frustrated he yelled through the door only to receive screams of absolute horror as an answer. Finally he gave up trying to get her attention and broke the doorknob, banging the door down.
XXXXXAs he said before, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. An incredibly hard hard place.
And as you would've guessed, she was screaming because she had a nightmare, and now she was crying and shaking as Shadow tried to wipe her face and hold her close, hoping she would calm down. To tell the truth, he was getting sick of this. Having to run to this girl whenever a problem- usually it wouldn't even be a problem- occurred and she would go into a panic attack. But he knew that he didn't have any other choice, and neither did she. It was his choice, solely his, to take this girl here and help her out. Getting rid of her now would simply be the same as a kid who received a toy they were so excited about, and then got bored of it after a few days and threw it out. No; sending her back to a SH would do nothing for neither of them.
It took her a while to calm down, but nowhere near as long as most of the times she cried because of something. All the while he sat on the bed with her and remained silent as she slowly stopped crying and composed herself again. Though his actions were kind and careful, when she stole a glimpse of his face, she saw what she would eventually figure out to be his signature 'I really don't give a fuck about anything…' look. Added to the tension she gained from her nightmare, which included him in a similar role to the one he played the first night she had a nightmare, she felt like his anger was entirely her fault. No wonder he snaps at me at times and finds me slightly annoying sometimes…I would feel the same way if our positions were switched, she thought.
She lowered her head and said in a tone that resembled that of a careless teenager who just got yelled at by their parents, "I'm sorry…" A new sentence formed in her mind and was about to leave her mouth, but she covered it up with a new sentence, one that would benefit Shadow more than herself. "I'm sorry I bothered you. You can leave if you want to." A pause.
"Or punish me if you want."
Uh oh, Shadow thought. Were his inside thoughts appearing on his features? He wasn't exactly paying attention to the expression on his face… and above all he never wanted her to see it. Quickly he tried to think of a cover-up, but he doubted she would believe it.
"NO, no, you didn't bother me… I-I mean I don't mind… um…" Yeah, that explained it…
Even though she didn't get the full explanation she thought she would, she gave him a half-smile for his sake and wriggled out of his grasp, but remained sitting next to him. For a while they both sat there silently. It was Rouge who broke the deafening silence, asking him, "Do you want to know what my dream was about?" This surprised him. For what reason would she feel it necessary to tell him what she dreamed about? She never wanted to before; what made this time so different?
Truthfully, he didn't know how to answer her. Talking about her dream could certainly help her and make her feel better. Or it could do the total opposite and just make her feel worse. "Would that make you feel better? Telling me what you've been having nightmares about?" he asked her.
She thought about his question. "Yeah, it could, but I was only asking in case you wanted to know. It shouldn't matter at all if telling you my dreams will benefit me, Master. If you want to know I'll tell you all of them."
Well it does matter to me, he thought. All of her problems and bad thoughts matter to me. If only she could see that. "No, its okay, you don't have to tell me them. Unless you really want to. But I won't hold it against you if you don't tell me." You could see the slight rejection on her face, but she quickly covered it up with an "Okay."
Maybe I shouldn't have said that… he thought. Maybe I should've let her tell me about them? God I hate making decisions, especially for someone else…! To change the subject he asked her, "Rouge, why was the door locked? I told you to keep it open in case something happened."
"Master, I didn't lock the door… you did," she told him.
He immediately took offense. "No I didn't! Why would I lock it!"
Surprisingly, even with his voice rising considerably, she remained calm for once and replied, "Um, you must've done it without you realizing it. … Maybe?"
He looked back toward the broken door, the thick wood broken off of the hinges, the frame cracked and little chips of wood falling off. The sight was so ridiculous and cartoon-ish; he couldn't help but give out a small laugh. "Heh, yeah, maybe that was it… forget about it for now, I'll fix it later." He looked her deep in the eyes. "You sure you okay?"
She nodded slowly. "Yeah, I'll be okay, Sir- I mean Master."
"Oh yeah, that reminds me," Shadow said. "Sorry that I kinda 'sprung that on you.' I only did it because I thought it would gain some trust between the two of us. I didn't mean to do it so drastically but honestly it was the only thing I could think of to do."
"It's okay… I'm actually kind of glad that you did decide to… buy me. Thank you."
"Oh, you don't need to thank me. I'm kind of glad I bought you too. I think it really did help ease some of the tension between us." If only it eased all of the tension.They were quiet after that. Shadow knew that the sudden quietness that sprouted between them randomly was evidence that there was still tension and even pain between them. But at least now it was easier to overcome. Somehow, sooner or later, he would have to find out the last crucial part of her past. And, of course, nothing was more fun than figuring out somebody's crazy and equally stupendous past…
Too in-depth with his thoughts, he didn't realize what she did until she did it. A sweet surprise that Shadow would've never seen coming, ever.
She hugged him.
And it was an actual hug that actually meant something. The hugs that he had learned she gave out only so rarely, if she felt like giving them. And it ended before it really began, and she returned to sitting next him, half curled into a ball, an expressionless look on her face. For a minute Shadow actually wanted it to last longer, or even receive another one, but he didn't want to risk it. He remained on the bed for a couple of minutes before he started to stand from it. And right before his body left the bed, he was gifted with another surprise:
A kiss on his lips.
XXXXX
It took me hours to think up the title for this chapter, and that's not even an exaggeration. But there it is. As I look back on this chapter I wonder if I should re-write it. I'm not very sure about it…:/ But I guess that any worth it has is in the eye of the readers… :)
