Chapter Eleven
Marks stumbled over to her desk nursing a headache of her own. The lack of sleep the past week and emotional strain not to mention being almost blown up had really taken more of a toll on her than she had been willing to admit.
"Marks, Good news - You've been approved to go back in the field … provisionally. Darnell will be temporarily assigned as your new partner." He held up a hand to stop her protest. "It's a partner or stay at your desk. Plus it gives him a chance to get his feet wet."
** Give me a hose and I will get his feet wet ** she grumbled silently to herself. Ethan chuckled under his breath at the comment as he came up beside Decker.
"Something funny?" Marks glared at the junior detective.
Ethan shook his head, but his eyes were clearly still laughing at her.
"Hey – play nice." Becker was not in the mood to referee. "There was a break in reported earlier this morning at the corner of College and Bay Street. I want you two to go check it out." He tossed off the order then headed back to his office.
"Let's go partner." He put emphasis on the last word to annoy her. She simply glared as he followed her out to her car.
The ride over was quiet. At least as far as Detective Marks was concerned as her mind was still going over the night before and Darnell was wisely keeping his mouth shut. ** Need to ditch this guy and go talk to Toby. That was pretty intense last night he broke through to something that's for sure. ** Ethan's mind listened to Charlie's inner dialogue as he let his eyes wander to the side window. While she was distracted with driving and whatever had taken place the night before, he started to sift through the rest of her mind as if it were a filing cabinet to see what he could learn of both her, who had initiated the search on Maya, as well as this Toby Character.
It had taken time to learn how to access the information in people's mind that was not foremost in their thoughts, but he had been learning how to control and expand his gift all his life. Now finding out people's deepest secrets was like child's play – child's play with a very sharp knife. This detective had a link to his brother he found as he read that the picture she had uploaded was of Toby and his mother. Toby believed his mother dead, but they were searching for a brother taken as a baby. Taken? He seethed inwardly. Did this Toby really believe such a naïve lie. A seething anger solidified into a cold venom.
They pulled up in front of the little mom and pop store. Charlie turned the engine off then glanced at Ethan. Maybe she wasn't giving this guy a fair chance despite her gut reaction to him. "Look I work best alone, but Becker has seen fit to put us both on this so let's just get the job done."
She inwardly shuddered as despite his smile his eyes when he turned to face her were dead cold.
"I couldn't agree more. We need to get this wrapped up." Detective work was not the only matter Ethan was referring to, but she would know that soon enough.
Thankfully the day had been relatively uneventful with a couple of minor injuries and a false alarm on a heart attack. Toby and Oz pulled back into St. Lukes and hopped out of the ambulance.
"The love doctor is off to practice a little medicine my man… catch you in the morning." Oz checked his hair in the locker mirror than swayed off humming to himself.
Toby was glad to simply go home to a quiet empty apartment. The background buzz of other people's thoughts had been exceptionally hard to block out while still working on rebuilding the shattered walls of his mind. He thought breaking down the block to his past would result in instant answers, but his brief phone conversation with Ray over lunch informed him that even though the memories were no longer out right blocked he would still need retrieval cues for the mind to access the information. It was akin to finally having picked open the lock on the filing cabinet but not knowing what folders to pull to get to the right memory.
He decided to try starting with the memories that had already leaked through. Focusing his mind on the image of the burning trailer, he closed his eyes and waited for the missing details to fill in the blanks.
Knock, knock. Toby's eyes flew open. So much for quiet time to reflect. Sighing, he pushed himself up from the kitchen table and went to the door.
"Toby? Hey Toby it's Marks." She called through the door as she was about to knock again more forcibly in case he had not heard her.
"Not so loud… my head's still a bit tender." He rubbed the back of his head, and then motioned for her to step inside.
She lowered her voice, "Mercer said you were still recovering…"
Was there anyone who was not playing nursemaid to him today? The concern was flattering, but he was starting to feel a bit annoyed at having so many mother hens.
"Since you seem to still be in one piece thought you would want these back." She held out letters with his handwriting scrolled across them.
"Just set them down on the desk by the computer. I'll get them later. You want a beer?" he offered.
"Sure… " There was a question that hung in the air between them that she didn't have to say nor think for him to pick up on.
He opened the bottle, and handed it to her in silence as they both sat down at the kitchen table and took a few sips. "I don't really know any more now than I did before. Ray says it has to do with memory cues … that even though I should have access to them now there has to be a hook so to speak to grab onto them. Maybe when my head stops reverbing like the inside of a drum I can figure out how to get all the chaos to make sense."
Suddenly there was another knock heard at his door that evening. Toby puzzled for a moment who it could be then figured Ray had decided to drop by to check in on him as well.
"Expecting company?" She had seen the puzzlement cross his face.
"No I wasn't expecting any company tonight." The slight dig at her dropping by was not lost on Charlie, but the frustration was not directly aimed at her but rather at not having the time alone to get the answers he had expected would come.
Halfway across the living room Toby could make out enough of the form on the other side of the door to know it was not Ray. He stopped and glanced back at Charlie. Sensing that something was up she stood and started across towards the door as well stopping beside Toby.
"It's Ethan Darnell – the detective we saw at the hospital. What would he be doing here?" She kept her voice low to keep the man at the door from hearing her.
++ Well are you going to let me in Toby? ++Ethan projected directly towards the stunned paramedic.
Toby motioned for Marks to stay back and something in his eyes told her she was not the only one that found the junior detective alarming. Slowly Toby opened the door, and the younger man walked right in as if he had an engraved invitation. Ethan nodded acknowledgment of Marks then turned around to face Toby straight on.
"Hear your looking for a brother." Ethan's tone was casual on the surface, but there was a strained under flow that was anything but jovial. Alarm and suspicion flared in Toby's eyes as they darted to meet with Charlie's. "You found me." he flashed a big grin, "Well that's not exactly right… I found *you*, but let's not quibble about technicalities in the midst of such a warm family reunion."
+*+ Toby – could he really be? +*+ In the shock of the moment Charlie didn't think about the fact that if they were brothers Ethan could easily share the talent of telepathy.
Ethan turned on her, "Yes I could be and I am. Now the real question is why it only took you oh say twenty three years to start to wonder what became of me. Everyone assumed you were dead. I can understand being busy, but don't you think that's a tad long." Sarcasm coated every syllable while furious accusations shot from darkening brown eyes.
Charlie's face had gone pale, and Toby's focus intensified with the fact now obvious that this man, brother or not, did share his gift.
"You're my brother?" the question Toby asked was part from shock, but also to buy a little time.
"Were you not paying attention?" Genuine annoyance played across Ethan's features. "I'm sure you must be surprised at my turning up at your doorstep seeing how you and mom must have thought you were rid of me as a baby, but you can thank your Detective friend here for that."
** The photo ** the image and mental words sprung to Toby's thoughts.
"Yes of course the photo. Really Toby I must say I'm a bit disappointed as I thought you would be quicker on the uptake than this." Ethan feigned disappointment as if he were a teacher addressing a slow pupil. "Speaking of mom… is she here lurking about somewhere too?"
"She's dead." Memories of Maya jumping into the river flashed across his mind then the memory of being told she couldn't be brought back. Ethan listened in and probed deeper not quite believing Toby. As the memories were scanned they flew past Toby's conscious mind quicker than he could latch on to them…. a complete childhood of foster homes, and preparing for his current occupation flipped through in what felt like moments causing Toby to stumble backwards at the onslaught. Toby saw echoes from Ethan's conscious mind as the memories flashed past.
"I suppose I will have to take your word for it." Ethan scowled disappointed that he would not get the chance to make his mother see how much she had missed out on when she decided to abandon him.
Charlie was only privy to the spoken communication, but she lunged forward to keep Toby on his feet when he started to fall backwards.
Ethan thwarted the attempt at aid by reaching into Charlie's mind and quickly finding the most disturbing memories encased therein to pull forward and amplify. She gasped as suddenly she found herself back in that bedroom at age fifteen – helpless and afraid. Once the memory took hold in her conscious mind, Ethan spun the thoughts in a rapid cycle to prevent her from evading the flashback. It only took a couple minutes for her to be on her knees gasping trying to deal with the barrage of being immersed back in an amplified version of her worst nightmare. But that was enough time for Toby to recover his footing.
"Stop! Leave her out of this!" Toby desperately screamed as he was being pelted by images from Charlie's tortured mind as well as backlash from Ethan's.
"Such touching concern for your friend… " all the anger of the little boy Ethan once was that was forced to cry night after night alone in his room for the family that never wanted him surfaced, "Such compassion for her, but not a second thought about tossing me away." The emotional pain was causing Ethan to become reckless and some of his defensive barriers faltered allowing Toby to catch a glimpse.
++ A much younger version of Ethan lay curled into a ball wiping tears from his eyes. "Your mother didn't want another … special child Ethan that is why she gave you to us. We are your family now. We tried to save your brother as well, but we fear she may have drowned him. Now let's concentrate on the exercise…" ++
"Ethan… " Toby tried to gasp out words amid the chaos, "They lied. They took you from us, and they tried to take me as well. She was trying to protect both of us."
"Sure… it was just convenient that she managed to save you but not me, huh? Do I look that stupid to you?" a lifetime of anger boiled up to surpass rage as Ethan stepped closer to Toby. Toby moved back deliberately pulling his brother further away from where Charlie lay curled up on the floor gritting her teeth.
"You don't believe me… fine search my memories… see it through my eyes." Toby challenged.
There was just enough spark left of childish hope that maybe Toby was telling the truth that Ethan paused momentarily and then started delving deep into the furthest conscious recesses of Toby's mind.
** "Toby your mother loves you very much, but we can't bring her back… " ** ** "You like your new brother?", a five year old Toby nodded, "What are we going to name him?" "I don't know what do you think?" **
Confusion clashed between the images from Toby's mind and what Ethan had been told his whole life. "It's a trick… you're trying to trick me."
"Ethan, Why would I want to trick you … think about it man. What purpose would I have? You are the one pulling this from my head." Toby kept his voice as steady as possible trying to reason his brother out of his blinding rage.
Determined to prove Toby was deceiving him somehow, Ethan started pulling memories from Toby's subconscious. The images and echoes flowing across Ethan's mind and mirroring back to Toby were memories Toby had never consciously recalled before.
+*+ A four year old Toby was sitting at a simple wooden table in an otherwise all white room with an older man sitting across from him . A voice over a speaker cut in "Good Toby… now mirror that back to his mind." The young boy's face increased with concentration as the adult started to pull back in horror. In moments the man started to scream for Toby to stop and fell to the floor in obvious pain. Toby jumped up from the chair alarmed at the man's reaction. It was only supposed to be a concentration exercise. They told him it was to see if he could replay a memory back to the sender, but something was wrong. "That will be enough for today." The unseen speaker announced. +*+
+*+ "Frank, we can't stay here don't you see what they are doing? If I stay they will destroy my son and my baby. Please help us." Maya's voice was desperate. +*+
+*+ "I'm sorry mommy." His mother wiped away Toby's tears. "Shhh baby it's not your fault. OK? We are going to get out of here. I promise." +*+
Toby watched in a mix of awe and horror at the memories that had been locked away from himself for so long.
"Can't be.. " Ethan's face was the picture of tortured confusion. Then his eyes sobered as he looked back at Toby.
Thinking that he had finally convinced Ethan that the stories told during his childhood at the institute were fabrications, Toby took a step forward with his hand out. Ethan's eyes suddenly darted up and around the room.
"Someone's lying…" Ethan hissed, "and I'm going to find out who." with that he fled the apartment. Toby's first impulse was to chase after him, but Charlie was still cradling her head on the floor.
Toby dropped down to examine Charlie. Her eyes were pressed tightly shut and the base of her hands were massaging her temples. "Charlie? Charlie!" He called to her several times before her eyes slowly opened and the disorientation in her mind cleared. Once her eyes could focus again, she took one look into Toby's face and the tears streamed down her cheeks. Words were beyond what she could manage. He picked her head and shoulders up off the floor and simply cradled her in his arms till she was able to gently push him away and her eyes looked pained but clear again.
He helped her up and over to the couch. A few hours and a couple of cups of coffee later she was almost fully recovered. Toby explained what had happened with Ethan after she had been lost to her own past demons, and he explained what he could of the momentarily glimpses into his own forgotten past. She nodded as she listened then both fell silent.
"How are you doing?" It was obvious she had gone through a lot of pain, and he hoped the affects of Ethan's attack was fading.
"The images were just there … I couldn't shut them out. It wasn't only my memories … he twisted things. It felt like it was happening all over again." Realizing this might be what Toby experiences she finally understood how his gift could be a curse. "What Darnell did… is that how it is for you all the time?"
He lowered his eyes, "Not all the time. There are hits that feel like I'm being pulled through someone else's nightmare, but usually it's not that intense. What he did to you was deliberate." Toby's voice fell to a soft whisper, "He meant to hurt you … " How Ray had once likened the abuse of telepathy as a form of mental rape echoed through Toby's mind. "Maybe it's not that different from what I did … before." Maybe you were right about me from the start, Charlie, he thought grateful that she could not hear his inner dialogue. Maybe I'm no better than my brother regardless of the expressed intent.
"You were a child Toby. You can't blame yourself for how others manipulated your abilities. A four year old steals jewelry because that is what he has been taught not because he is evil. Frank and your mother risked everything to get away from the institute because they knew what was happening was wrong and it was hurting you." Her words were not getting through his blank stare.
"Only I didn't steal jewelry… I stole people's minds. This gift," he spat the word as if it were profanity," was fostered to destroy people." His brother had placed Toby on the other side for once. This time he knew what it felt like to have someone invade his thoughts and snatch away what they would without being able to prevent it.
"Your telepathy is a tool, Toby. Like my gun it can be used to protect or harm. We make the decision on how we use what is available to us." His eyes hungered for a way to believe her.
"I've got to get going… you'll get through this, and we will find Ethan." She attempted to reassure him.
"Yeah I think I'm going to head to bed. This headache is getting worse." His forlorn half smile saw her off for the night.