A/N: 45 days later... I post another Celestica update! Bless to Degrassi-love3 who decided to like tell me to update it today. I know it could be better, and the ending is kind of blah but I threw together what I could. But beside the ending it's amazing and you're all going to love it. I expect reviews from all of you otherwise I'm going to cry. It was my birthday last week too, so you owe me. One last thing before I let all of you lovely people go, is if you're not reading Halcyon ((one of my new stories, co-written with Degrassi-love3)) I literally don't know what you're doing? It's amazing and you guys need to read it. Also, this chapter is dedicated to Breanna (kanimasmaster on tumblr and pretty-0dd on here) because you've been waiting so patiently. Go you! Also I didn't read over this completely so if there's little mistakes I'll go back and fix it later. SERIOUSLY LEAVE ME A WELCOME BACK REVIEW.

Rating: Yes there's smut but it's super short, but I love you guys anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi but I do own some marijuana oops?

"Show up in your lace; drink up little girl. And they will always let you down." Violent Youth | Crystal Castles

"And then your father spilled his coffee all over my new purse, and that was it. That was when I knew I wanted to be dating a man like him! A goofy, clumsy, run of the mill guy who makes me smile." Whinnie explained while we were at dinner. It had been her suggestion that we go to a place like the Olive Garden, which I had never been to before. There weren't too many of them in Canada.

"So how long have you two been… official?" Eli asked. I was glad that he had asked. It was like he was reading my mind, finding out what I wanted to know so that I wouldn't have to ask myself. He must have known that I was terrified. That I was nervous and shaking and that him holding my hand underneath the table made everything a little bit better.

"Four, maybe five months now?"

I nearly choked on my bread stick. I'd been living with Randall for little over a month now, and he had never once breathed a word about dating a new woman. I'd never seen her around the house. I'd never even heard her name. Then again, it wasn't like I had made an effort to be involved in any form of relationship with my father. I'd been too busy with Eli to pay attention to my father or anything that surrounded him.

There was this silence that fell upon all four of us at the dinner table, and I took the moment of quietness to examine everything. I had never suspected dinner would go down like this. In all honesty, when I had brought Eli inside to suggest dinner, I thought my father would immediately say no, cutting off the idea permanently. I didn't think this far. And maybe I should have thought this far, but I didn't. And now that we were sitting here, and now that my father had a girlfriend, I didn't feel like I should be nervous anymore. I felt like I should be angry. That I should be throwing this soup and salad and breadsticks across the table and having a temper tantrum because my father didn't tell me he was seeing someone.

"What about you two," Whinnie inquired suddenly. "How long have you two been dating?"

"Oh, we're not dating." Eli answered quickly. I felt his hand squeezing on mine, as if to remind me that even though we were not in a relationship, he still loved me. "Relationships are heavy. We didn't want it to tie us down."

"So that you can have sex with other girls and not feel bad that you're cheating on my daughter?" Randall interrogated, and I could feel a knot tying up in my stomach.

"Dad!" I shouted from across the table. But Eli only laughed, as if my father was making some sort of joke when he clearly wasn't.

"Mr. Edwards, your daughter is the only girl I have any interest in seeing. Honest." Eli answered calmly. I was subtly amazed how Eli was maintaining his composure and not freaking out like I was at a time like this. "I think that's one of the reasons Clare Diana wanted us to have dinner tonight. So that I could like, meet you. And like, assure you that I'm not going to hurt her."

My father stared blankly at Eli. I didn't know if it was because he was for some reason blown away that Eli was serious or if he was trying to come up with something rude to say back in response. My father was like that a lot. I could recall times when my father would make that same expression towards my mother way back when they were together. Seeing him sitting beside Whinnie now, it was hard to remember those times.

"Her name is Clare, not Clare Diana." My father's tone was stone cold. So cold that it was almost as if they had opened a window in the place and it had let in a draft.

Eli cleared his throat. "I prefer to call her Clare Diana. It adds a little bit more..." Eli paused, and he glanced over at me. "Pizazz." They stopped arguing about it after that, and dinner became quiet again. I hated this. This awkward feeling between the four of us. I wished Whinnie wasn't here. I wished my father's new woman wasn't here to make things awkward. Because I'm sure that if she wasn't there I wouldn't have had to have been over analyzing things. I could have been trying to show Eli off to my father. I could have been trying to prove that he was an amazing man that deserved me. He was, too. And he did.

"Eli likes The Clash." I blurted out. All eyes were on me now. My father seemed slightly surprised, and Whinnie was confused, and Eli just didn't know what kind of stunt I was pulling. "He plays it when we're in the car all the time. It reminds me of you, dad."

"Clare, you hate The Clash." Randall replied.

"Not anymore. Now I love them. Now we can listen to them in the car together, dad." I realized that because of nerves, I was speed talking. I was rambling like a pathetic idiot trying to win my father's approval when in reality he should have been trying to win mine. And he wasn't winning it. Because looking at this woman she looked barely a day over twenty-five. She probably wasn't, too. "See? Look at all the super great things Eli does! Like getting me into your favourite kinds of music!"

My father laughed out loud. And not like a yes Clare, I see what you mean! kind of laugh, like a – you're an idiot kind of laugh out loud. "Look at yourself, Clare. You look nothing like you. He's getting you into horrible things. He's changed you. He's changed you and if you can't see that then I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Um," Eli held up a hand. "I'm right here."

"Daddy you barely even know him." I argued. I was trying hard now. Everyone at the table could see I was trying so hard because I used the one word I simply hated: daddy. "You just think you know him. I know him!"

"Do you? Do you know him? Have you met his parents?"

I slinked back against the booth wall. "I'm going to."

"Could we not talk about me in the third person?" Eli interjected. "I can hear every word you're saying."

"You know how I feel about him. I've told you countless times, and you continue to disobey me and see him behind my back. You're reckless! I can't control you. Maybe I should just send you back to your mother before the end of the summer. She always knew how to handle reckless teenage girls. She knew what to do when Darcy had her phase. This is getting out of hand." My father continued speaking before I could even begin to start yelling. "You think I don't know you sneak out every single night. You think I don't know that you're drinking and somehow you wind up back in your bed before I can check on you. I'm not stupid, Clare. I know a rebellious teenager when I see one. And I'm looking at two of them right now."

I felt sick to my stomach. Looking over at Eli didn't help very much either. In fact, it made things worse. It made me feel light headed. I was just staring at him hopelessly begging for him to say something to change everything. He was my only game piece left at this point. But he looked as if this was just as fruitless. In fact, his face was as white as a ghost. And I couldn't tell if it was because my father seemed to know everything, or if it was because he was threatening to send me back to Canada. And for some reason, I could just tell that it was the latter.

The waitress arrived with our meals, and all of us were quiet again. I liked it better when we weren't speaking anymore, honestly. Because then I didn't have to deal with my father's harsh words or the way he would scoff when I would say something good about Eli. The soup tasted funny. But I knew it wasn't the soup's fault. It was the taste of cigarettes that lingered in the back of my throat and caused all food to taste funny. Eli wasn't holding my hand anymore. I assumed it was because we were eating but for some reason I felt lost without him holding my hand. That this was all just pointless. That without him holding my hand and holding me down to earth I'd just float all my way back to Canada. I'd float away from him.

"I just wanted you to meet him." I whispered as I sipped the soup from my spoon. "At least I wanted you to meet the guy I'm into, rather than keep him a secret this entire time like you have with…" I tried my hardest to make her name sound sour as it fell from my lips. "Whinnie."

"That is completely different, Clare, and you know that." My father started back up again. Good. All the arguing wasn't about Eli anymore. Because it wasn't all about Eli, and everyone at the table knew that. "I wasn't keeping her a secret from you."

"Then why haven't I heard about her? Why didn't I meet her the first day I came here rather than a month and a half into my visit? If she's as amazing as you're trying to make her seem tonight, why am I just meeting her now?" I spat. I glanced around the table. Everyone looked so awkward and out of place. Eli cut aimlessly at a piece of steak and Whinnie tried to look any direction away from me. "This is so pointless, you know, Dad." I barked. "This whole coming out to California thing was pointless wasn't it? Because we're not close at all. In fact we're farther away than ever. God, I hate you." I mumbled. I expected him to gasp and yell at me now – but he didn't. He was quiet too, along with the awkward Eli and Whinnie. He just sat there and took every single word that I threw at him. "C'mon Eli, let's just go." I whispered.

"Where are we going?" Eli placed his silverware down on the table as well as his napkin and turned towards me.

"Anywhere. I'm tired of this, though."

Eli nodded in agreement with me and then turned towards my father, and nodded slowly to him. It kind of seemed as if that was his silent goodbye to my father. Like a silent sorry all at the same time. We scooted out of the booth, and left the Olive Garden. It felt – slightly – as if I had won. But then at the same time it felt as if I had lost completely. It felt like I never wanted to go home, because if I went home my bags would be packed and there would be a plane ticket waiting on the kitchen table. And it would be to Canada. And it would be for me. And I would never get to come back here again.

"I hate him!" I yelled as we were a safe distance from the restaurant. "I hate him so much, Eli. I just hate him."

"Yeah, I know you do." Eli said in response. "I want to say that I hate him too, but he's just doing what he thinks is best for you. And hell, if I was your father I wouldn't want you hanging around a guy like me either."

"He just doesn't listen! If he would let me explain then maybe he would understand!" I argued, "You're not that bad of an influence. You're amazing! He just doesn't get it because he's old as shit and… ugh!" I felt like I needed to pull my hair out. I was bubbling over with anger.

"Okay, good to know that when you use words like ugh, it means you are sufficiently upset." Eli joked. I glared back at him. "Sorry." The bus stop was nearby, and Eli led me towards the bench. He told me that we would take the bus somewhere. He told me that he would probably take us home, but when I immediately protested, he nodded, and just wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"This is the worst." I grumbled into his jacket. He pulled me a little bit closer. "I just wanted him to like you."

"I know you did."

I sighed. "Do you think he knows that?"

"Maybe." Eli answered, but then he shook his head. "Probably not."

We were quiet. And as much as I enjoyed just being in Eli's arms, him holding me and the warmth that he created – along with the hot summer evening cascading heat onto us – and the smells he gave off… I was tired of it. I was tired of being quiet. It was getting exhausting. The bus finally arrived. And while we were on the bus, I found myself crying. I found myself holding onto Eli's leather jacket for dear life, and sobbing miserably into his t-shirt. And I wondered; had I ever cried in front of him before? Had I ever clung desperately to him and just been able to let it all out before?

We rode around on the bus for hours. Sometimes I'd be crying, and other times I would just sniffle slightly and he would hold me closer. Eli played music for us. He pulled his cell phone and headphones out of his pocket and he played me our Sweater Weather song over and over until after a while I just fell asleep. I fell asleep to the music, and the rocking of the bus, and the smell of Eli. He smelled so comforting.

After a while it got dark. And when I woke up it was because the bus driver told us that this was going to be the last stop, and that we would have to get off here. But I didn't want to get off. I never realized how nice busses could be. Or maybe it was just because I was riding a bus with Eli. The bus had left us in Pierpont. And I don't know if it was all just a coincidence or whether Eli had asked the man to do this – but I didn't care. Because where all of this lead us, didn't seem so bad.

"You don't want to go back home, do you?" Eli asked me. I answered with a sniffle-y no and Eli seemed to understand. He guided me through a dark Pierpont that was only lit by the four street lights that were on each block. Being here in the day time was sketchy enough – but night time heightened that. "This isn't exactly how I pictured this." Eli muttered.

"Pictured what?" I whispered.

"Pictured bringing you to my house. Fuck, I never pictured bringing you to my house, honestly. I hoped I could avoid a moment like this." Eli said. His tone was melancholy and once we finally approached that house I had seen only once in the past – I sighed. It felt homey, yet I'd never even been there before. It was dark, but that was mostly because it was night time and because there were no lights on inside. "No one is home. Nobody's been home for a few days now. CeCe and Bullfrog went to some radio convention or some bullshit. So… yeah." Eli shuffled through his pockets for his set of keys to Morty. I had always wondered what the extra few keys he had on his key ring were for, but I never really asked. But now I got it. It was to his house.

He shoved the key into the lock slowly, making it seem as if he was procrastinating as he did so. Trying to slow time down so that I'd never really have to enter through the threshold and see his cave of wonders. But the door finally swung open, revealing what he'd been hiding for so long.

"Watch your step, okay?" He told me, finally leading me into his house.

I understood now. I understood why he never wanted me to come over, and why he was so ashamed of his house in the first place. It was – in the simplest of terms – a dump. A wasteland of junk and trash and things you weren't supposed to see in a home. The walls were lined with old newspapers, records, and other assorted items all clumped together in groups. There was a word for a lifestyle like this – and it was caught in the back of my throat. Floating through my mind, just wondering if I should say the word out loud. I wondered if I even dared to see the kitchen.

"My rooms upstairs."

So we went upstairs. I found myself tip-toeing my way up so that I wouldn't step in something accidentally. Like, a leftover fruit cup or a piece of pizza. I wondered if Eli's room was the same way. I was praying in my head that it wasn't like this. It didn't seem as if we would be returning to my house any time soon, and I didn't want to seem rude… I'd have to tough this out. Tough out the night in a house so disgusting that I had to stop myself from gagging.

Eli pulled out his set of keys again, and I noticed that he had a lock on his door. Not just any ordinary lock like teenagers dreamed to have on their doors, but a real lock. With a key and when you turned it you'd be able to hear the tumblers working. I closed my eyes.

"Welcome to Hotel Eli." Eli said miserably. He swung open the door. I blinked my eyes open. Thank God. It was clean. Well, not really clean, but as clean as a teenage boy's room could get. At least you could see the floor. And at least it didn't smell like moldy food. Eli locked the door behind us. "Sorry my house is uh…" he scratched the back of his neck. "It's fucked."

"When you acted as if your house was Hell I didn't realize it was literally…"

"Hell." Eli replied. "There's air conditioning and sometimes fresh food in the fridge, so it isn't like I can complain much. Also, my bed is hella comfy."

I snorted. "I don't think I ever want to hear you say the word hella ever again." I wrapped my arms around his neck, staring up at his eyes. We both sighed in unison. "So what does a night at Hotel Eli entail?" I asked, and Eli pursed his lips slightly.

"Oh, I don't know. Breakfast in bed, a hot shower, and a bit of cheering up."

I grinned. "Do you know how great a hot shower sounds right now? We don't have hot water at Hotel Clare Diana."

"I'm aware." Eli chuckled. His hands slid up my body, cupping my cheeks in his large hands. His eyes grew serious for a moment. They were not his playful, sarcastic usual Eli eyes. "I never want to see you cry again." He said sternly. "I never want to taste your salty tears again. With me…" his voice lowered to a whisper, and his lips gravitated towards mine. "…with me you'll never have to cry."

Our lips met, then. My arms around his neck became tighter, and his hands slithered down my back and gripped onto my waist, pulling me up against his body. My lips opened ever so slightly, allowing his tongue entrance into my mouth, which he gladly took advantage of. I always loved the way he kissed me. He was so forceful, yet gentle at the same time. It was almost as if we were dancing around his bedroom, and suddenly the back of my knees hit his bed and I fell backwards, taking him down with me.

"You were right." I uttered breathlessly, "Your bed is hella comfy."

We laughed into our kisses, and that was a feeling I'd never experienced with him. The way his mouth would be conforming into a hidden grin against my lips and mine would be doing the exact same thing. I blushed hard as his fingers ran through my hair. And then I realized something else, moments later. This would be the first time that he and I would be having sex with each other while totally sober. The whole sobriety thing had never passed my mind before, anyway. It never ever bothered me that when we would get sexual with each other we would usually be under some form of drugs or alcohol – minus that one day when we both went down on each other. When Randall walked in. I still try to forget about all of that.

Eli's hips ground into mine, causing a gasp to fall from my lips and my back to arch into his. It really wasn't long before both of us were undressed and our minds were consumed with the thoughts of our naked bodies touching each other. The unspoken about skin-on-skin contact that we both secretly loved. Eli breathed heavily into my ear, constantly whispering dirty little things that made my cheeks turn red.

"You'll go to Hell with a tongue like that, Goldsworthy." I purred.

"Save me, Sister Clare Diana. I won't be able to make it without you."

His teeth nibbled gently on my earlobe and I bucked my hips up off of the bed into his. I longed for him, as I always did. I moaned his name into his ear, and he chuckled huskily into mine. Our chests touched and the unbearable feeling of my bra constricting us from being totally naked began to tug at my mind. But suddenly Eli stopped. His lips lingered by my ear for long lasting seconds that made my lungs feel as if they were on fire.

"Let's do something." Eli muttered. I groaned loudly.

"You're seriously suggesting that we do something before we have sex?" I tried to laugh it off as if it was nothing, but Eli only smiled deviously at me.

"Let's do something you've never done before. We can have sex afterwards, I promise." He nuzzles his nose into my cheek, which causes me to blush hard and immediately give in. "As fantastic as my bed may be, we can return to it in a moment. In the meantime, follow me." He climbs off of me and stands to his feet. I take a moment to watch him as he stretches his shoulders, and the muscles in his beck seem to clench and release. He always looked so… scrawny, most of the time. But it was a moment like this that shaded that idea of him. He turned towards me slowly, staring down at me as I still lied on the bed staring at him. I could look at the little tattoos on his sides, the fifth one slashing through the fourth that made my heart flutter. I may have been the fifth but I was still important. "Come on, slow poke." He chuckled, and I hopped up and took his hand.

There was a door in his bedroom, one that didn't lead to the hallway but led to something else. When I had originally seen it, I assumed it was to a small walk in closet, but in fact it led to a private bathroom which Eli kept surprisingly clean. Eli turned on the shower, and let out a deep breath. I almost thought he was going to suggest we would take a shower together, and my heart began to beat a little faster at how romantic that seemed. But then he reached underneath the sink and pulled out a little bag of green material.

Oh.

I wasn't upset, technically. Of course I was a little excited we'd be sharing an intimate moment sober, but there was nothing I enjoyed more than a rush of excitement that was brought on by not only Eli but by unnatural causes. Eli instructed me how to lick the end of the funny feeling white paper and how to roll the substances into it. I had no idea what I was doing, honestly.

"You look nervous?" Eli laughed.

"I've never smoked weed before." I admitted, though it wasn't as if I was really admitting anything. Eli clearly knew that.

"It's just like cigarettes, only you get high off of it."

I nodded, understanding. "I thought you hated pot, though." I commented, remembering what Eli had told me about Fitz weeks and weeks ago.

"There's nothing wrong with it every once and a while. I prefer to sell the shit but there's absolutely nothing wrong with a little sample with my girl." He smiled at me, and I thought about coming up with another sentence about how Eli really didn't like marijuana, but the words my girl got to me before I got a chance to say anything. My Girl.

The bathroom became steamy after a short amount of time, and Eli lit up the end of the joints from a lighter he had stuffed into a drawer. I wondered why we couldn't just take a shower in the steaming water instead, but I kept my mouth shut. Eli seemed set on all of this. And a determined Eli was a sexy Eli. I knew that from experience.

"So just like a cigarette?" I asked, raising my voice slightly so that he would be able to hear me over the running water of the shower.

"Just like a cigarette. Only, you smoke it in your left hand." Eli instructed, as I switched the joint from my right hand to my left. "That's why sometimes they call it the left handed cigarette. That's how you tell if they're smoking pot or a cigarette. All by the hands." I laughed softly, and brought the lit joint to my lips and took a drag. The smoke immediately filled my mouth and lungs, and by my third or fourth hit, I could feel lightness in my chest. Eli and I would take turns jokingly breathing out the smoke into each other's faces, and I suddenly realized something. This high was nothing like all of the others.

All the other highs that came from pills or anything else that Eli would slip into my hand and I wouldn't question, were far more rapid speed. I'd see colours and hear noises and feel as if the world was on fire. But in this case, I just felt light. Like a cloud. I stared at the ceiling of Eli's bathroom, the fluorescent lights casting down on me and making me squint momentarily. This felt unreal in many different ways. I couldn't tell if this was better than the other highs, or just as monumentally great. I leaned forward, and pressed a single kiss to Eli's cheek.

"This is lovely." I whispered. Eli grinned.

"I'm glad you think so. Take another hit." I did as he told me to, and each of us finished each of our joints. It was strange, looking over at Eli and realizing that he was a bit blurrier than I had seen him moments before. Eli took the ends and rubbed them into the bathroom counter, and then threw them into the trash can. That was the first time I ever saw him properly put out ashes. "Come on." He stood to his feet (he was sitting on the toilet seat, and I on the counter) and turned off the shower. His hands reached for mine, our fingers interlacing as he pulled me down off of the counter and onto my now wobbly feet. This felt unreal. Like magic. I placed my hands on his bare chest and our marijuana stench breaths began to mix with each other. The usually revolting smell didn't seem so bad right about now.

"Are we going to have sex now?" I asked, and Eli laughed quietly.

"If that's what you want."

I nodded in agreement. "I'd like that very much." My fingers took tip-toe steps up his chest and they met behind his neck. And then our lips met. And kissing had never felt so good before. Eli placed lazy kisses down my jawline, kissing my neck softly as he stepped forward, and I stepped back. We continued itsy-bitsy steps until we had finally ended up falling against his bed. His mattress felt like a cloud. Eli's lanky fingers reached behind me, unhooking my bra and throwing it out of reach. I felt his tongue sweeping down my jawline and his mouth suckling gently on my neck and chest. He kissed the small valley between my chest, and I arched my back into him.

My mouth dropped open and heat pooled between my legs as Eli kissed my breasts. He was so carnivorous as he did so; each and every kiss and lick and suckle being rough yet sweet at the same time. My breath caught unexpectedly in my throat as Eli's knee slid in between my legs, causing an enormous amount of friction against me. His hands roamed around my body, holding my waist tightly in his hands at some points, and at others they would trace circles on my skin like patterns.

"Oh," I whimpered, "I love the way that you touch me."

It wasn't an I love you, but it was sure as hell close to it. It was like saying that I loved certain qualities about him. That I loved things that he did. And you have to love the things someone does to fall in love with them.

"I love to touch you." Eli said huskily. "I love your skin; it's so smooth and soft. You're always so beautiful."

I moaned lightly as the palm of his hand began to rub against the silk of my underwear. He slowly tugged at it, slipping it down away from my legs as he sat up to take them off, along with his own boxers. I closed my eyes and ran a steady hand through my hair in delight. I felt like the feather of a bird, floating away through the sky and being whisked around through the wind and the rains.

Eli grinded his hips into mine, erupting another heartfelt moan from my lips at the sudden contact. I could feel his hardness pressing up against my inner thigh, and I longed for it to be somewhere else.

"Eli…" I cried. I opened my eyes, and stared at his bloodshot green eyes. I wondered if my own were that red. "I want you so badly."

"I want you, too." He leaned forward towards me, his forehead pressing against my own, and hot breath being let out against my mouth. He smelled like marijuana – I didn't care. "I have to tell you something, though."

"Tell me, quickly." I breathed.

"We haven't done this since I told you that I loved you." He paused, and licked his lips. "I know you haven't said anything back yet, and that's fine, if you don't say it ever, I'll understand. But now that you know – you have to understand something. This isn't just a hookup for me anymore; this isn't just me fucking you. This is me loving you, and touching you, and feeling you in ways that I'm in love with. Because I'm in love with you."

I nodded slowly. "It was never just a hookup, Eli." I said, truth dripping from my tongue. "There were always feelings."

Eli kissed me slowly and gently. It was with complete passion and desire, and I could feel it with the way his lips moved against mine, and how his tongue would brush against mine oh so gently. He pushed into me softly, and moved at a slow, caring pace. I wondered if it was the drugs that were slowing life down, or if Eli genuinely wanted the moment to be a long, drawn out time. Each precious thrust of his hips seemed to last a decade. I clutched onto his shoulders, and held him close to me. His warmth taking over my body completely.

"Oh Eli…" I cried out, biting down on my bottom lip. "You feel so fucking good."

He moved a little faster, but still made sure the moment was utterly romantic. "You're so sexy when you swear."

"Faster, please." I begged.

Eli did as I asked, shifting his weight so that he could thrust into me quickly and I gasped in ecstasy. He slid his hands down my body, holding tightly onto my waist as he began to pound into me, the friction being absolutely amazing along with the enhancement of feelings thanks to the drugs. Dear Drugs, thanks. Love, Clare Diana.

"Oh – fuck!" I screamed. I wrapped my legs around Eli's torso and my head fell back into his pillows. "Touch me, touch me, please." I begged once again. I wondered how desperate I must have looked to him. No, he must have thought it was sexy. Or beautiful. Who knew what loving Eli Goldsworthy thought anymore.

But he did as I asked again, his thumb beginning to play with my sensitive bundle of nerves as he made everything feel like paradise. Eli Goldsworthy turned a shitty evening into paradise, that magnificent bastard. Eli kissed my neck, breathing deeply against my skin, the warm breathing making my body heat up in the process.

"Fuck, Clare Diana. Holy fuck."

I gasped for air, as if I was coming up from holding my breath under water. My legs trembled around him, my walls tightened around his cock and my whole body warmed up from the orgasm taking over. Everything felt so magnificent. I came down from my high – the sexual high, not the marijuana high – at the same moment Eli did, each of us moaning each other's names and biting onto our tongues. I licked and nipped at the skin of his neck, not wanting the moment to end, though I knew it had to. I loved his touch and his feel and nearly everything about him. Was I in love with him?

Eli pulled me into a tight embrace, cuddling me underneath his blankets and whispering Clare Diana. Beautiful girl. My beautiful girl. over and over into my ear as I shook. I was still shaking from how amazing he felt. I wanted us to have sex again. And again. And again.

"That felt amazing." I whimpered, and Eli nodded, his chin bumping slightly against the top of my head. I yawned, and finally said: "I'm so hungry."

"That's the medicinal." Eli laughed. His chuckle was so deep and husky that I couldn't help but be attracted to it. I was attracted to everything about him. Was I in love with him?

"You're so amazing." I moaned into his bare chest.

"I love you, you know." Eli said to me. I kept wondering if he wanted me to say it back, but I knew that he didn't mind if I never even said it. No, I knew he would mind – but he pretended that he wouldn't.

"I know." I whispered. "Thank you."

"What for?"

I felt my breath catch in my throat and I tilted my head up to meet his eyes. "For loving me."