The next morning William's cold and fever had subsided to a runny nose, for which all were thankful. He refused to leave Charlotte's side and she his; for the first time during their stay he took breakfast with them. Mr. Collins insisted that she was spoiling him, but no one minded the little boy's presence.
After breakfast Jane and Elizabeth decided to go on a walk through the snow covered grounds of Pemberley as Jane claimed she could not tolerate being shut inside one more day. They donned warmer clothing and within the hour they were outside, walking down one of the snow covered paths of the garden. Elizabeth breathed in the fresh air happily and marveled at the icicle draped trees.
"Winter is so magical," she sighed, reaching down to scoop up a handful of snow and letting it filter through her fingers.
"You seem so happy today," observed Jane, smiling at her sister.
"Oh, Jane, you have no idea!" exclaimed Elizabeth.
"Is there a particular reason for this joy?"
The younger sister chuckled. "Darcy and I sorted out a few things last night and I feel so relieved, so much lighter."
Jane nodded wisely. "It can be such when you share overburdening thoughts and feelings with one another."
Elizabeth nodded and took Jane's hand as they walked in content silence, their footsteps crunching in the snow. Eventually they came to a small bridge which arched over a frozen stream. Its stone peaked through the snow, as if to remind the world of its presence. Elizabeth realized they had come quite far and Jane really should not be out in the cold for too long.
"We should return soon," she said as she noticed that Jane was tiring. "You do not want to exhaust yourself."
Jane nodded gratefully and linked her arm through Elizabeth's, leaning on her for support as they turned around to return to Pemberley.
"Elizabeth, I want you to be with me before this child is born," said Jane softly.
"Of course, I was planning on staying with you from February to the baby's birth."
Jane smiled. "Good."
Upon their return, Jane went upstairs to bathe and rest and Elizabeth changed out of her damp clothing. After dinner, Elizabeth tried to speak to her mother, but she had not forgotten their conversation the day before Christmas. Mrs. Bennet spoke coolly to her daughter and complained loudly of her nerves. Therefore Elizabeth spent the remainder of the afternoon in her father's company. In the evening, Leanne and Edward coaxed Elizabeth into a game of hide and seek, Elizabeth frequently finding herself to be the counter regardless of how quickly she was found. Little Nat fell asleep in his last hiding place and Elizabeth carried him to his bedroom and readied him for bed before tucking him in. She said goodnight to Edward and then the girls, who were arguing over who took up the most space in the bed, before joining the adults downstairs.
Two days later, Elizabeth stood in the foyer, hugging little William tightly. Since she had found him in the attic, he had become rather attached to her, crawling into her lap when she was sitting and clutching her skirts when she was standing. She was ever so happy to give him the attention he wanted and she often caught Darcy watching her tenderly as she stroked the boy's hair or rocked him gently.
Now she reluctantly set him down and hugged his mother. "Write often Charlotte," she reminded her friend.
Charlotte smiled. "Of course I will." Neither mentioned that it would be a long while before they saw one another, as Charlotte could not often leave Kent and Elizabeth was surely not welcome anywhere near Rosings.
Mr. Collins bowed to Darcy, thanking him profusely for their hospitality and assuring the young man of his favorable tidings to Darcy's aunt. Mr. Collins then bade Elizabeth farewell, bestowing lavish compliments upon her hospitality and home.
Mrs. Collins picked up a warmly dressed William and followed her husband to their carriage as they waved farewell to all those remaining at Pemberley.
Elizabeth stood in the driveway long after everyone had returned within the house. She waved to her friend until the carriage disappeared down the tree-lined drive. Even after it faded away she remained outside, watching the spot where she had last been able to see the carriage.
"Lizzie, you'll catch your death standing out here," said Darcy as he hurried down the steps to her with her cloak. He put draped it tenderly about her shoulders.
She glanced up at him. "You're not wearing a wrap, either," she said.
"Then I suppose we should both return inside," he suggested.
Elizabeth nodded and followed him into the house.
The remainder of her day was spent with her parents and Mary as they would be leaving with Caroline, Jane, and Charles the next day. Shortly after their departure, the Gardiners said goodbye, as Uncle Gardiner had to be in London by the new year. When their carriage had disappeared with the children waving and calling last goodbyes, the Darcys and Kitty returned to their now relatively empty home.
Kitty went off to arrange a bonnet, though it was winter, and Georgiana went to her room to finish a book that she had neglected over the holidays.
Darcy looked around the foyer, at the drooping decorations, and the empty rooms. "It seems so empty," he said.
Elizabeth smiled. "Sometimes I enjoy that solitude."
"Is that a suggestion?" asked Darcy, turning to face her, a boyish grin on his face.
She shook her head. "No, just an observation." She kissed him on the cheek and left him in the foyer to spend some time with Georgiana.
Elizabeth tapped lightly at the girl's door.
"Who is it?"
"Lizzie."
"Come in." Elizabeth entered and went directly to Georgiana's alcove where she was curled up with her book.
"It seems like forever since we've spoken," said Elizabeth, sinking onto the sofa.
Georgiana smiled and set aside her book. "You were busy with our guests and the holidays."
"You're so like Jane, supplying a kind reason for every action." Elizabeth twisted her wedding band nervously. "I've wanted to ask you how you felt about my holiday preparations."
Georgiana did not look astonished at such a question. "Lizzie, I have never before enjoyed the holidays as I did this year. The reason I lost my enthusiasm was because, well, I knew you were nervous. I wanted you to be the one involved in all the preparations so that when someone asked how something was done, you could answer them on your own. I wanted everyone to know that you were suited as Darcy's wife."
Elizabeth smiled and went to embrace Georgiana. "Thank you, for everything," she said.
Georgiana shook her head. "I should be the one to thank you. You've done more for me than I could ever explain."
The older woman chuckled. "Then I suppose I shan't know what I'm being thanked for."
"I believe not."
They laughed and Elizabeth took a seat beside Georgiana.
"What is the book you are reading?" she asked.
The younger girl held up the book and Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. "He gave it to you too?"
"A Proper Englishwoman's Deportment? Yes."
"How are you enjoying it?"
"A few years ago I would have absorbed every bit of it and followed it exactly. Now that I've met you and Jane, I realize that I do not want to be a submissive wife, but a wife like you, one that demands her husband's respect and gives it in return."
Elizabeth put an arm around Georgiana. "I believe that you must be the wife that fits you."
"How will I know how to be the wife that fits me?"
"When a man proposes to you, if you are truly in love with him, you'll be able to predict what your marriage to him will be like. And you'll know if it fits you or not. If you can live the way he expects you to behave as his wife for the remainder of your life, then you accept and fulfill the duty as the wife he expects you to be. If you cannot live that way, well, I would say refuse him."
"Lizzie, when did you become so wise?"
"Is that a jest?"
"No."
"Well, then I will say this. I would not consider myself wise. I only had three proposals to learn from, a few more than most young women receive."
Georgiana grinned. "Two of them were my brother's; will you tell me the third?"
"If I do, you mustn't tease me," Elizabeth said sternly, though her eyes twinkled.
"You have my word." Georgiana waited in delightful anticipation.
"My first was Mr. Collins," admitted Elizabeth.
Georgiana broke out in a fit of giggles. "I'm sorry I gave my word! Mr. Collins!"
"Yes, well, being attractive is not always a favorable virtue."
She looked up in time to see Kitty watching them from the doorway. Upon being noticed, the girl turned and hurried away, but not before Elizabeth caught sight of the expression on her face.
Two days prior to Jane's Twelfth Night ball, Elizabeth, Georgiana, and Kitty went ice skating on the frozen stream. While Elizabeth had become a proficient ice skater the winter before when she had visited Darcy and Georgiana at Pemberley, Kitty had never skated before and fell quite frequently. After a few falls, she slipped and slid her way back to the bank, refusing to try once more. She watched enviously as Georgiana and Elizabeth did figure eights on the ice. Finally after Elizabeth's gentle teasing and Georgiana's patient encouragements, she tried again. After a few circles with Elizabeth and Georgiana supporting her on either side, Kitty was able to stay balanced and the delightful afternoon ended with the young women having a snow ball fight as they skated across the frozen water, dodging snowballs and sending others flying in each direction.
Kitty collapsed onto the bank, panting as she knocked away one of Elizabeth's snowballs. A few moments later, Georgiana fell beside her as she caught her breath.
"I'm finished," said Kitty.
Elizabeth laughed. "Shall we return home then?"
Both Georgiana and Kitty agreed emphatically and all three young women raced home, their soaked hems and cloaks weighing them down, all completely unaware of the spectacle they created as they ran in a most unladylike fashion towards the house. The last one there was to get hot tea for the rest while the first had to carry her skates up the stairs. Georgiana won and Kitty came in last but she was so sore from all the falling she had done, that Elizabeth took pity on her and accepted the responsibility of getting the tea.
Elizabeth pushed her wet hair from her face as they entered the foyer. She could hear Mrs. Reynolds and unfamiliar voices down the hall. There must be visitors, she thought, remembering how she and her aunt and uncle had toured Pemberley what seemed like years before. Georgiana and Kitty hurried up the steps at the sound of the voices.
Elizabeth hurried after them, but her foot slipped in one of the puddles the girls had left and her feet flew from under her as she fell painfully onto her rear just as Mrs. Reynolds entered the foyer. She looked desperately at the housekeeper begging her to go back, but it was too late, the visitors had seen her.
With as much dignity as she could, Elizabeth rose from the floor, a slight blush colouring her cheeks.
"Welcome to Pemberley," she said, as if she were dressed in her finest instead of being soaked and smelling of wet wool.
"This is Mrs. Darcy," said Mrs. Reynolds, proudly. "Mistress of Pemberley."
The visitors, a young woman and gentleman and an elderly woman, looked at her in utter astonishment, the elegant Mrs. Darcy they had seen in the portraits about the house bearing little resemblance to the woman that stood before them.
"Mrs. Reynolds if you would be kind enough to bring the girls and me some tea, I would greatly appreciate it," said Elizabeth after an awkward pause.
"Yes, ma'am," curtsied Mrs. Reynolds and after Elizabeth bade the visitors farewell, she hurried them off to another part of the house.
Elizabeth grasped her wet clothing and held it daintily as she ascended the stairs as if nothing had happened. At the top, Georgiana and Kitty, having witnessed the entire scene, burst into uncontrollable giggles. Elizabeth glared at them as she swept past them and down the corridor to her bedroom where Darcy awaited her, a large smirk gracing his lips.
She groaned. "You saw it as well?"
He nodded. "I will not tease you though. I believe Georgiana has forgotten three years ago when she lost her clothing when she went to a secluded pond. She returned home in her underclothing, only to find unexpected guests taking a tour through the back way to her bedroom. After such a mortifying experience, she demanded that I have the back way put out of bounds. Unfortunately we cannot do the same for the foyer."
Elizabeth sighed and drew off her wet cloak. "I can only imagine the stories they shall tell about me when they return home."
Darcy smiled and helped her from her wet clothing. "They shall therefore have a lasting memory of their visit to Pemberley and their encounter with its Mistress. If it's any comfort, you looked just as beautiful as the day you arrived at Netherfield, covered in mud after your walk from Longbourn when you heard of your sister's illness."
"That is not at all comforting," replied Elizabeth dryly.
"It was the day I truly fell in love with you."
"Then we shall all pray that that young man falls in love with me so my appearance may be forgotten."
Darcy frowned. "He was not what I would call attractive," he said haughtily.
Meredith poked her head from Elizabeth's dressing room and announced timidly that her bath was ready.
"Jealous?" Elizabeth asked her husband.
"Hardly."
"And you did not find the young woman attractive either?" she prompted.
He smiled down at her. "As I stated, the day I truly fell in love with you, you were coated in mud. Today reminded me of that day." He placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead.
Elizabeth smiled and went to soak in her warm bath.
The following day found the Darcys and Kitty on their way to Jane and Charles' new estate, Blithebury. Georgiana, Elizabeth, and Kitty sat close to one another in the coach with several layers of blankets draped over their skirts, keeping the cold at bay. Darcy rode his horse, as he found the small carriage to be far to confining.
All were relieved to escape the cold when they finally arrived at Blithebury. Although it had been less than a week since they had last seen one another, Elizabeth and Jane embraced happily. Caroline greeted Elizabeth as cordially as she was able, and Charles welcomed her with all the warmth of a brother greeting his sister.
They were shown to their rooms where they were able to discard their travel clothes. When she had finished changing, Elizabeth looked about the room in which she and Darcy would be staying. It was smaller than the Pemberley guestrooms but, nevertheless, it exuded a similar sense of warmth and welcome.
Elizabeth sighed happily and sank into a large chair where warmth and sleep overcame her and she nodded off.
She was gently shaken awake by Darcy who announced that it was suppertime. She followed him down the stairs to the Bingleys' dining chamber where Darcy seated her before taking the seat beside hers. Supper was delightful and shortly afterward, the Bingleys and their guests retired for the evening.
Elizabeth stood in front of the mirror, brushing out her hair. In the mirror, she watched as Darcy climbed into the bed.
"The ball will be filled with handsome young men tomorrow," she said.
Darcy raised an eyebrow. "Do I have need to feel alarmed by such an observation?"
Elizabeth giggled nervously. "Perhaps yes, and perhaps no."
He frowned. "What is it, Lizzie?" he asked gravely.
She sighed and set her brush down, turning to face him. She wet her lips, knowing that the subject on which she was about to broach would irritate him considerably.
"Georgiana is seventeen," she started slowly.
"I am fully aware of my sister's age."
"Then why do you seem adamant about preventing her from associating too closely with young men her age? Every time a young man wants to request a dance of her, he must ask you. She is fully capable of allowing a man a dance."
Darcy was silent as he scowled at the fire and Elizabeth pressed on. "It's because of Wickham, is it not? But Wickham is the past, a mistake of judgment which she made two years ago."
"She nearly married him," snapped Darcy.
"But she did not. She told you, meaning that she trusted you. She trusted you enough to believe you had a right to be involved in one of the greatest decisions of her life. Can you not trust her to understand and learn from her mistakes? Georgiana has matured since then."
"She is still a child," he said tersely.
"For how much longer, Darcy? Until she is too old to obtain a man of her choice? Until the man she loves wearies of waiting?"
"She's my sister; I only want to do what's best for her."
Elizabeth scowled. "What's best for her, or what's best for you?" she asked. "You were frightened when you nearly lost her to Wickham; you had almost failed what you had promised your mother and father—to look out for her, to be a parent figure to her. But it's not your fault what happened. We both know Wickham's depravity, Darcy. You have to stop believing you failed Georgiana!"
"I'm only trying to protect her from another incident such as the one that very nearly occurred two years ago."
"You have to let her go, sometime," Elizabeth said softly.
"I'm sure you are so knowledgeable on the appropriate time to let my sister fend for herself," he sneered. "Your younger sister is a perfect example."
"Lydia has nothing to do with this," she said icily.
Darcy glared at her. "I'm doing what I believe is best for her, and I do not need you to question my every decision."
"Is that you or your pride speaking?" Elizabeth spat. "Deep down you know it is time to release her, but you cling to her, afraid of losing her, after all, she's the closest family you have left and you were deigned capable of looking out for her. You're holding onto her because you're too afraid to let go of her, too afraid to lose her forever. You want her to be the little Georgiana that clung to you when she cried, the bright girl that pulled you through the loss of your father, the Georgiana that looked to you for everything."
"Do not tell me what I feel," he flung at her.
"I'm only telling you because you refuse to see it yourself," Elizabeth hurled back, her face hot with anger.
"Well I'd thank you to keep your opinions to yourself. Your upbringing has little prepared you for understanding the complexities of the reputation of a wealthy woman."
Elizabeth blinked. "What do you mean by that?"
Darcy rose from the bed. "I mean to say that you and your sisters were brought up recklessly, irregardless of your reputations and futures," he scorned. "You and Jane were fortunate to have enough sense to be concerned with yours. You do not understand the complexities of a wealthy, young woman's reputation."
Elizabeth tried to swallow the lump that was rising in her throat. "You do not understand the complexities of an adolescent woman," she threw back at him. Her voice caught and she tried to blink the tears from her eyes. "And do you, for a moment, believe that tossing a compliment will smooth over the insult you just directed towards my family," she asked, her voice hardly audible.
"We seem to be sharing one another's unseen feelings," returned Darcy coldly, his dark eyes sparking.
"When I said yes to you, I thought you had seen past your pride," she gasped, as a tear leaked down her cheek. "I see I was wrong." She turned on her heel and marched from the room, slamming the door behind her.
Not knowing where to go, Elizabeth sank to the floor and buried her face in her arms to muffle her sobs.
A few moments later, comforting arms encircled her and Jane murmured soothingly, as she stroked Elizabeth's hair. Elizabeth let her sister lead her to a warm room and make her sit on the sofa. Her soft sobbing filled the room as she watched with swollen eyes as Jane stoked the fire and then came to sit beside her again, wrapping her arms around her and rocking her gently.
"Now, dear, tell me what is wrong," said Jane when Elizabeth fell quiet.
Haltingly, Elizabeth recounted the entire argument to her sister. "I know he didn't mean what he said, at the end at least," she said when she had finished relating what had occurred. "I knew how he felt about Georgiana. I should not have pushed him so far."
"Do not blame yourself, for you are both at fault," Jane said softly, wiping the tears from Elizabeth's cheeks. "You should not have provoked him once he was angry and he should not have said what he said to you about your family." She sighed. "Unfortunately, I believe that you each may have spoken a bit too truthfully for the other's liking."
Elizabeth smiled thinly. "No wonderfully kind excuses for either of our behavior?" she asked.
Jane did not smile. "I've realized that sometimes it is better not to explain away hurtful behavior but to observe it neutrally until a just answer can be reached."
Elizabeth mulled over Jane's words before she spoke. "May I have another room, for the evening? I believe Darcy and I need a night apart."
Jane smoothed Elizabeth's hair from her face. "Are you sure?"
Elizabeth smiled. "Yes."
Jane rose and showed Elizabeth to a room, makingsure her sister was situated.
"Do not worry, Lizzie," she said,hugging Elizabethcomfortingly. "It will all be better in the morning, you'll see."
For Jane's sake, Elizabeth nodded and murmured words of agreement. But long after Jane had left, Elizabeth lay awake. Her anger and hurt lingered over her like a deep chill that refuses to be dislodged evenby thewarmth of afire. As hard as she tried, she was not able to be quite as forgiving as Jane.