I had finally made it back to the hotel of course Alec was there making sure I got back. I wasn't sure if it was because he really did care or because he would be in even greater trouble if I died and he was the last one to see me. I just wanted to get changed and lay on the couch watching movies. I knew that I could be doing so much more seeing how I was in Italy but I had a long day. The past can really wipe someone out when you don't plan on thinking about it. I knew I would have to face what I had learned. What Alec said really made sense, it wouldn't be awful having someone there for me to stand by my side no matter what. I just hated not having a choice in who that was. It wasn't like I could google anything about this to figure out how to deal with getting the news that your best friend imprinted on you. Sometimes I wished I had a normal life and had to deal with normal teenage problems.

"You seem out of it today." I snapped out of my own thoughts when I realized he was talking to me. "Yea I just can't stop thinking about the past now. I wish I could forget about bring that up." "Don't sweat it, everything will be fine in the morning just go up and try to rest." "Thanks I plan on just watching movies all night. I don't want to do too much, I feel wiped out." I opened the door to the lobby. "Are you coming in?" "Nah I need to do some things before I head to my room." "Alright well I will see you later then." I smiled then walked through the lobby. I made my way up to my room. Once I got into my room it didn't take long to get out of all my clothes. I just wanted to be done with today. With no time at all I was in comfy clothes laying on the couch watching movies. I was glad I took some foreign language classes because it made it easier to understand what was going on in the movies but they also had English movies on too. After watching a few movies it didn't seem like anything was going to work. I couldn't stop thinking about Jake and my family and how I left things back home. Maybe this was a punishment for not facing my problems. Since I ran away from them now they would haunt me until I faced them myself.

I got off the couch and headed to my bed. I pulled my cell phone out of the drawer. I had it turned off because I was afraid someone would try to track me here and I wanted to enjoy my time and try to figure things out. It didn't seem like my past was going to let me figure things out without involving the people I tried to put behind me. I turned my phone on for the first time in a few weeks. I was sure that there would be a ton of voicemails and messages from my family. Sure enough after being on for a minute it went into this non-stop vibrating. Now I started to feel horrible for not letting them know I was okay sooner and letting them know that I would be home soon. I didn't even bother to listen or read any of the messages. It was time to face the music now and not wait any longer. With one button I was calling my family, it only took one ring for them to answer. "Hello Nessie?" I could hear the panic in my mother's voice. I had done that to her. Now I felt worse than I did before. "Nessie are you there?" I took a deep breath ready to face the rampage. "Yes I am here." "Where are you?!" "I needed to get away from home, too much had happened for me to stay there. I just needed to deal with things on my own. After Jake telling me that he had imprinted on me I didn't feel like I knew anything anymore. I know I should have called sooner but I wanted to give myself some space." Now I just waited to hear what my mother had to say, I just a feeling that it would be rough. "I understand that what Jake told you was a shock but there are other ways to choose how to deal with this. I would like for you to come home, we can talk about how you feel and what you want to do about it." "Mom I understand you want me home but I don't want to come home right now. I am starting to see where I want to be. I was told that I didn't have choice in who I would be with the rest of my life. I get it will be nice to have someone there for me no matter what but I didn't get to choose who that person would be." "I know that you feel like your whole life was chosen for you but that's not the case at all. It was just how fate worked with our family" "Mom what if I didn't feel love for Jake in a way that you and dad love each other. I see him as my brother and I have never thought of him in another way. I just don't see him being anything but a friend to me." "I understand just give it sometime things may change." I was done with everyone telling me that everything will work out and that things could be different. I just wanted to get off the phone and go back to just watching tv. "I get that everyone thinks I will come around but for now I need my space. I'm sorry mom but I am going to go now. I promise I will call you more often." "Nessie I wish you would come home but if you choose to stay away you need to call more or I will find out where you are and you will be coming home." Will that we said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone.

Now I can get back to just relaxing. I was hoping now that I talked to my mom I would be able to stop thinking about everyone back home. I set my phone down on the table and just started to flip through the channels. I was hoping to find something that would catch my eye. In no time it seemed like I found a movie and started to fall asleep. I was trying to fight the sleep off. I didn't want to fall sleep watching the movie, I wanted to be able to stay up. It seemed like sleep had won the battle. I was woken up by a noise coming from my room. I wasn't sure what the noise was but it had startled me enough to wake up. After coming out of the sleep zone I was able to find out that it was my phone going off. I had never turned it off after I got off the phone with my mom. I had meant to turn it off so no one could track me. I was debating if I should answer the phone or not, I knew a lot of people were worried about me and this may be the only time that I was able to talk to people back home. "Hello?" I wasn't sure who was calling me, the number was blocked but I didn't want to miss out talking to one of my aunts and uncles. "Hello? Who is this?" No one seemed to be on the other end of the phone. I was getting ready to hang up the phone because it didn't seem like anyone was going to talk. "Nessie, is that you?" My heart dropped the one person I was hoping I wouldn't have to talk to for some time was on the phone right now. "Yes it's me. Jake?" "Yea that's me. Sorry it took me awhile to answer you I was just surprised to hear your voice. It has been so long since we have talked." That was true I had been avoiding him, I didn't know what to say. "I know it has been awhile. Sorry I just left but I had to get away. There was just some things that I needed to deal with. I had learned a lot on my birthday and I didn't know how to deal with any of it. I know I hurt people by leaving but it didn't seem like I knew the place I called home anymore." I heard a sigh through the phone. "I am sorry that I sprung that on you. I didn't mean for you to get upset. I was just excited to be sharing with this secret that I have been holding onto since the moment I first saw you. Of course your mom and dad knew that I had imprinted. Your mother wanted to kill me at first but then she liked the idea that I would always be there for you to protect you from anything that ever happened to you." I guess I could see how my parents would like that. It would mean there was nothing for them to worry about because if something happened to them then there would be someone else to look out for me and be there for me. "I understand where everyone would like the idea of someone always looking out for me but I always thought I would be able to choose the person I got to be with the rest of my life. I never thought I would have the decision forced upon me." I didn't want to talk anymore, this was still a conversation I wasn't ready to have. I didn't want to have to go about not telling him I didn't love him.

"Nessie, I know that it has to be hard believing that you don't have a choice but you do have a choice. You get to decide what you want this relationship to be. I will be whatever you want me to be for you." With him saying that I just felt guilty about telling him that I would never see him in the way he was hoping for. "Jake I appreciate you telling me that I get to decide how we see these relationship of ours. But I don't see you as anything more than a brother and when you told me you imprinted I saw you telling me that we would be married and be together forever and I wasn't getting a say in who was going to be in that part of my life. I am sorry if I hurt your feelings Jake but I just need time to figure out who I am without my family around. I promise to call you later but I need to go now." "Please don't give up on us yet. I will give you your time but please keep an open mind." I hung up the phone and made sure to turn off the phone. I didn't want any more people calling me. I just wanted my space now.