Chapter Eleven
-Goodbyes and the Return of Jack-
Xander went into Willows room. It had been an eventful day, and Willow had still managed to somehow muster the strength, emotionally and physically, to pack her bags.
"You're really leavin'? I mean, it's kind of funny that we made this huge emotional breakthrough, and now you're going to England."
Willow sat down on her bed, folding a shirt slowly. "I spoke to Giles a couple weeks ago, about going to stay with him. I know we came upon a much needed reality check, but I haven't magically healed. I'm still hurtin', you know? Going to stay with Giles… he's gonna help me. And part of that is getting in touch with my power again."
Willow waited for his reaction, he blinked in surprise, his eyebrows raised. "Magic? Will, I don't think that's such a good a idea…"
"I know, but it is something I've got to learn. My power didn't disappear, I'm hiding from it. Magic is something I need to face, so I can use it wisely, and…well, so the next time I have a tantrum, I don't try and destroy the world."
Xander shook his head and looked away, not understanding.
"No more silence, Xander, remember? We talk to each other. What is it?"
"I know…it's just, hey, it's ok to be simply non magic Willow."
"But that isn't who I am anymore. That is why I need to leave, get away. I need to find myself." She frowned thoughtfully. "That came out a little more cliché than intended."
Xander smiled. "Ok. I trust you…but I'm really gonna miss you."
He drew her into a comforting hug. Willow smiled. "Awww…you mean it? You're gonna miss the girl living with you and your girlfriend, who can't cook, can't help with important phone calls, and goes on random killing sprees?"
"You bet."
"Thanks Xan." They pulled out of the embrace, and Xander stood up and went to the door.
"Sleep well, big plane ride tomorrow."
Willow continued to pack with sigh.
"I'm gonna miss you." Dawn said, eyes growing watery.
"Hey, don't get all sad and lip trembly, I'll be back in a month or so."
"Or so." Buffy repeated with a sad smile. It was the next morning, and Willow stood in the middle of Xander and Anya's living room. Buffy and Dawn had come to see Willow off, everyone surrounding her. Xander held a suitcase in each hand, Willow clutched a couple small bags of her own. Every one was quiet.
"Well…I think its time to head out." Xander said, shifting slightly.
"Yeah…ok." Willow walked to the door and Xander opened it for her, waiting for his friend to step through. She paused and turned around. Anya, Buffy, and Dawn looked at her expectantly. "I hope you know I'm not leaving because of you. I'm leaving because of me…for me."
"We know." Buffy said softly. Her lips lifted in the corners the tiniest bit.
"Yeah?" Willow asked.
"Yeah." Buffy nodded not breaking eye contact. Suddenly Willow dropped her bags at the door and run towards Buffy, throwing her arms around her. Buffy was jostled by the impact of her friend's embrace, but she laughed. She felt happy, in a way.
"I'm gonna miss you so much." Willow said, chuckling.
"I know. I'm gonna miss you too." She held her friend away at arm's length, looking her in the eye. "I love you, ok? And you're gonna come back to Sunnydale and you…everything will be better."
"It already is." Dawn threw in. She stepped forward tentatively and Willow pulled her into her arms, Buffy too. Then Anya joined.
"Hugs are good. Warm and safe and good." Anya said.
Xander stood by the doorway with a tired but happy expression. Then Willow pulled away from the entangled arms and sighs. She walked to the door. Looking first at Xander, then looking back into the room one more time, she then left.
Buffy walked to Spike's crypt, the grass a sickly bright green against a cheery blue sky. Willow had already been on her plane for about six hours now, Buffy guessed, and she herself had just finished with her last day of mentor training for the High School, and suddenly, found she was walking to see Spike. Go figure.
Fingering the grocery bag in hand, Buffy eased open the door. No one was inside. She walked in and went down to the lower level, glancing around uncomfortably. She could have left the groceries upstairs, but she needed to talk to Spike. Who happened to be in his bed. Naked. Again.
"Spike?" She whispered softly. He continued to sleep blissfully, candles in the corners of the room lit his laying form, his chest rose and fell.
"Spike." She whispered louder. He stirred and mumbled something, his eyes fluttering open towards her way. Seeing her, he shot upward in surprise and peered at her nervously.
"Slayer?"
"Spike."
"Cup of tea?"
"What? You have tea?"
He looked around, confused, and then grinned. "No…I don't. Have absolutely no idea as to why I said that."
Buffy studied him, a somewhat doubtful expression on her face. "Maybe I should go…you need some more sleep."
"No, no…don't go." He said quickly. "Did you want to talk? Or something…whatever. It's fine. I'm fine. Go up…I'll meet you there."
Buffy nodded and left. She waited on his chair for a couple minutes, when he finally came up. He had failed to put a shirt on, but he wore a pair of black jeans. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at her.
"So…what's on your mind then?"
"I brought you some things." Buffy said, reaching into her shopping bag. She pulled out some poptart boxes and a couple TV dinners.
"Oh…thanks. Clem brings me food though…you didn't have to."
Buffy shrugged and he took the items and brought them to the back of the room. Buffy continued to pull things out. A piece of hair escaped from behind her ear and fell across her face.
"There's some more stuff in here that I thought you would need…here are some razors…"
Spike turned around, and put his hand up to his chin. He had shaved only twice in the two weeks he had been back in Sunnydale, and his cheeks were once again rough with the beginnings of a beard. Buffy spotted his self-conscious expression and sighed.
"I'm not saying you need it…just in case."
He walked over to her and pulled some things out himself. A flashlight, shaving cream, tooth paste. He nodded his head in appreciation.
"So…this it? I don't have the money right now to pay you back…" He began.
"Don't worry about it. I've got it covered this time. And…I didn't come just to bring you all of this."
"No?" Spike raised an eyebrow suggestively. Buffy shoved him playfully and walked away.
"Ugh…shut-up, you."
He stepped back and put his hands in the air in feigned innocence. "You what? Sexy desirable ex-demon that I want to shag so bad, it hurts?" He grimaced.
"Yeah, that's it." Buffy snorted and then continued. "How long are planning on living in the crypt?"
"I don't know. There are a lot of things I haven't thought about yet."
"What about a job?"
"What? No! I mean…a job. That's…not right. No…you won't see me getting any jobs. Unless they are the shifty underhanded type. So I can wear the cool black garb and look hot."
"Well, I'm just saying…you might want to start thinking about these things."
"Yeah…well, I'll get around to it."
"Oh sure…when you're not to busy sleeping, or sitting, or neglecting your appearance."
"I am not neglecting my appearance." Spike's voice was low.
"Look at you! You look like you just stepped out of some western movie."
"Well…cow boys are cool."
"What ever…look. I didn't come here to…what ever you call what we are doing. I need to tell you about what happened after you left. There are some things I think you should know."
Spike's eyebrows drew downward in question. "What is it…"
"Well…there's a couple things…but, first…Tara."
Slowly Spike's bravado slipped as Buffy recalled the events of the summer. Somewhere during the story he found his arm wrapped around her shoulder.
Willow glanced at the man sitting next to her. He was around fifty, his hair was greying and a bushy mustache of pure white adorned his upper lip. He sipped his tea slowly. The silence dragged.
Past the man, she could see out the window. The sun rose above a field of clouds, and she wished she was the one sitting next to the window. Behind her, papers rustled. After spending about five hours on the plane already, Willow had not yet said a word to her companion. It would be nice to talk to someone who believed she was ordinary.
"So…uh…England huh? I hear even the bums wear cashmere." She smiled nervously and mentally kicked herself. She never heard that. Why did she suck so much at making conversation?
The man's mustache twitched in what may have been a smile and a responded in a polite British accent. "I wouldn't know, I have never studied the hoodlums of London very closely."
More silence.
"Do you uh…live there?"
"For many years now." He took out a book and began to read. Willow got the hint and kept her lips sealed. So he didn't want to talk…that's ok. Only eight or nine hours left. She sighed.
A passing figure bumped into her chair and she bumped the man next to her in turn. His tea spilled onto his lap and his breath caught as Willow yelped in surprise.
"Oh, oh, oh…I'm so sorry! It was an…oh I'm so sorry. Could you get some napkins please?" She asked without turning to the person still behind her. He didn't move as she grabbed some tissues from her bag, and she turned to him annoyed.
"Excuse me but this poor guy is…Jack?" She stared surprised at handsome man staring down at her. Involuntarily she giggled.
"Hey Jack! It's me-"
"Willow." He finished. "Buffy's friend. How are you?"
"Hey, good you know…" Behind her the man cleared his throat. He was ignored. "Wow, I sure didn't expect to see you here."
"Yeah. Hey, sorry about your pants man." He nodded to the Englishman, who gritted his teeth back in the semblance of a grin.
"You going to visit family or something?" She asked him. He held on to the back of her chair to steady herself.
"Yeah, I've got some family and friends I'm staying with." He paused. "Hey maybe we could hook up while I'm there."
"That would be cool." Willow nodded and smiled. Behind her, the man dabbed uselessly at his pants with the tissues she gave him.
"So." Jack continued. "Pretty long flight for a trip to Arizona, isn't it?"
Willow groaned, and her companion chuckled wryly.
"Umm…Jack, your not headed for Arizona…"