A Commander and a Queen

Alistair spent a week and a half in his cabin recuperating from a serious injury and the last few days getting back into shape. The smuggler that he thought Zevran had killed, had enough life left to jab his sword into Alistair's waist. Fortunately, the strike didn't hit anything vital, but he lost a lot of blood by the time they all made it to the Siren's Call. Every painful toss of the ship made Alistair think of how spoiled he'd gotten with Wynne around. Before he started to feel better, Alistair could swear Isabella sailed the roughest seas she could find.

The thing that befuddled him was that someone was always with him, encouraging him to drink water or eat some watery broth … and that someone was Anora a lot of the time. They never spoke more than a few words, but he found himself wondering why she would stoop to being his nursemaid. He even caught a few worried looks sent his way from time to time, but he was too out of it to say anything or even come up with a witty quip.

But, he did soon feel better and was able to sit up and move around. Curiously, Anora stopped sitting by his bedside then. Isabella made Alistair promise to reimburse her for all the poultices he used up. He thought she might be kidding, but planned to replace them anyway. A manifest of the cargo on the warden ship showed more than enough components to make some replacements … of course, that would only occur if that warden ship made it out of Jader harbor before the Nevarrans attacked the city.

They sailed within spyglass distance of Highever and Amaranthine. Anora wanted to see how lost both of those cities were. Everyone was disappointed to see that the Orlesian ships had a solid blockade around each city. Late tomorrow they were scheduled to make it into Denerim harbor where Anora would become Queen of Ferelden again and Alistair would become Commander of the Grey.

After stretching and swinging a sword for a while, Alistair felt confident he could defend himself if he needed to. And, as he stopped to take a small break, Anora stepped up to him on the foredeck. He wondered if she realized her father was the reason he felt he may need to be in shape.

"Alistair, you've been avoiding me." Anora never just said hello.

He turned, leaned against the rail, and smiled. His first thought was to bring up that she was the one avoiding him. She didn't sit by his bedside anymore. But, he wisely swallowed that retort. "Well, I was a bit unconscious for half the trip, Your Majesty."

"How are you feeling now?" She even looked concerned.

"I'm fine and ready for whatever lies ahead tomorrow." No reason to worry her that he was still a bit stiff on his sword side.

She sighed and folded her arms. "Then, I will get right to it. What do you plan to do to my father when we get back to Ferelden?"

Alistair reached back and grabbed the rail behind him. "I haven't decided yet." He felt no reason to be dishonest about that part. "I won't know until I speak with him."

Anora looked slightly relieved. "That's all I can ask, I suppose."

He could feel his grip tightening on the rail. "Whether I like it or not, you now have certain leverage over me. I need the support of the Queen to get the Ferelden Grey Wardens into the shape they should be in before the Archdemon reappears." He gave a small laugh. "Maker, I now begin to understand why Duncan put up with Cailan's bravado." Alistair was finally coming to understnd the world in shades of gray instead of his naive black and white. He wasn't there yet, but he was getting better.

"Do you feel like you have to 'put up' with me, Commander?" Her eyes were showed just a tinsy bit of annoyance.

He looked into her eyes for a long moment and then sighed. "No, Anora, I don't, but I do need to rely on your support. I want us to be ready for the Archdemon this time." His voice lowered, losing the edge of before. "Anora, the nobles may have already decided his fate. Many more people than just me are angry with him."

"I know. I pray to the Maker that's not the case." She frowned at Alistair. "If he were already dead, would that make you glad?"

Alistair had had a long time to think about her father and how he might react upon seeing Loghain again, how he might view what happened in a different light. Alistair remembered Duncan telling him that a warden could die at any time. It was the excuse given to recruits who balked when they found out the danger of the Joining. Even if Loghain had stayed, Duncan was in the vanguard with Cailan. It was almost assured, with the immense darkspawn presence, that Duncan would have died anyway. Match that with going over his entire life and the choices he'd made or had made for him, Alistair had to admit that he might have come to regret taking Loghain's head at that Landsmeet. He turned toward Anora. "No, it wouldn't, actually."

She narrowed her eyes. "I'm sorry Alistair, but that just doesn't agree with the petulant boy who walked away from the Grey Wardens and Ferelden."

"No need to be insulting, Your Majesty. Actually, I did walk away from the Ferelden Grey Wardens. You made me walk away from Ferelden … on Kayda's request. I thought you were supposed to be this great people-reader, Anora. You read me wrong then and you're reading me wrong now." He folded his arms. "Loghain went crazy and a lot of good people suffered and died. Even you have to admit that he deserved punishment. However, because of what Kayda did, he is now under my command. My first reaction was more because Kayda considered the Joining to be a punishment. Let me make one thing clear, Your Majesty. I do not. I will not ever use the Joining as a punishment, even if you order me to do so."

"Are you relinquishing your Right of Conscription, Alistair?" Anora was obviously stinging a bit from some of Alistair's implied insults.

"Not at all." He thought a moment. "Only those in power can order punishment. I won't allow the Grey Wardens to become the replacement chopping block for nobles without the courage to follow through with their own judgements." He smiled sadly. "That would be as wrong as I was to want to take Loghain's head right there in the chamber with his own daughter looking on."

Alistair paused a moment to let that last statement sink in. "So, let me be clear now, just as Duncan would have, I will protect Loghain as I would any warden from the despicable morays and attitudes of Ferelden's nobility … as well as from your own conniving and scheming." She looked surprised. Alistair was pleased and he smiled. "Now, we're even in the insulting bits."

Anora stared out over the rail and took a few minutes to look out over the somewhat calm waters. He could see the corner of her mouth pull slightly up. "Only if I consider conniving and scheming to be an insult, Alistair."

That made him laugh. "Yeah? Well, your hair is messy and your dress is filthy."

She turned and put her hands on her hips. "How dare you!" But, she couldn't keep up the front for long and smiled sincerely at Alistair. "You've changed so much in such a short time."

"Actually, it's been longer than you think." He sighed and looked around the deck. He spotted two boxes nearer the center with no one around and motioned to them. Anora caught the idea and they both sat down. "You may think that my behavior in the Landsmeet was petulant because you were blind to anything beyond saving your father from immediate execution. To me, it was the first time I'd ever spoken what I felt with every intention of following through with it."

"But you went back to the wardens." Anora's veneer was slowly slipping. Alistair felt the remark wasn't a judgement. It was an honest comment.

"Right, but I didn't go crawling back to Kayda or you begging forgiveness. I did leave. One of your 'exile escort' sneered that I should take ship to Kirkwall, go drown myself in a tavern there and never return to Ferelden. But, by then, I'd already decided what I was going to do. I found a ship going to Jader. Maybe the Maker told me to take that ship. Riordan was from Jader so I knew there was a warden compound there. So, instead, I went to Jader to report in person what was going on in Ferelden … to get some real warden help for Ferelden … and to turn myself in for desertion."

"Obviously they didn't execute you for desertion." There was that half-smile again.

Alistair found himself thinking, Maker, she's pretty. Cailan really was a fool. But aloud, he said, "Nope. I'm still here breathing. Sorry." He grinned.

But the grin quickly turned into a frown. "Probably the most jarring adjustment was with the shining honor of the Grey Wardens." He had to take a moment to gather his thoughts. Fortunately, Anora just sat there quietly. "Imagine my surprise when I find a recently promoted Nevarran Commander of the Grey in the Orlesian city of Jader."

"I would have thought the Jader warden-commander would be Orlesian," Anora mumbled.

"I'm getting to that. So, Commander Alman let me tell the entire tale of what happened in Ferelden, from the loss at Ostagar to the Landsmeet. I was still pretty upset with all of you back in Ferelden, but I tried my best to swallow my distaste and remain as objective as I could. Alman patiently listened to every detail. It took hours in the telling. Just as I finished the part about getting the Dalish to honor the warden treaty, Alman asked me to clarify a few details. He was surprised that Ferelden only had two wardens and showed me why." Alistair took a moment to drop his head in his hands.

"Alistair, do you have a reason to keep all this from Zevran and Leliana?" Anora leaned forward and lightly put her hand on his shoulder.

He shrugged. "No, not really."

"Good, let me go get them and you only need to say all this once. I have some things to tell you as well. Things they brought with them." She started to get up.

Alistair laughed and stopped her. "I doubt you need to get them." To no one in particular, he added, "Come out and pull up your own crates." When no one came forward, he added, "Come on, Leliana … you know that 'Maker told me' bit was directed at you."

Leliana came out from behind a stack of coiled anchor rope, shaking her finger at Alistair. "I have been traveling with you and Kayda for too long!"

Zevran climbed up the ladder from the main deck. He'd been listening from below. "Yes, my dear bard, we both have gotten too predictable in the company of the wardens." He moved two nearby crates closer to Alistair and Anora. "Now, what did this Nevarran show you?"

Alistair took a deep breath. "Well, I said Alman was the new warden-commander for Jader, if you recall. The one previously was Orlesian, as was the previous First Warden. Apparently, the Orlesian First Warden told the Orlesian guy in Jader to intercept any reports from Duncan and change them before sending them to the other commanders. Instead of Duncan's real report listing all the trouble he was having with recruitment in Ferelden … the rest of Thedas read that Ferelden had over a thousand wardens, a renovated Soldier's Peak paid for with funds from the First Warden, a presence in Orzammar, a compound in Denerim and an outpost at Ostagar funded by a 'grateful Ferelden'. Duncan never had a chance."

"In other words, the Orlesians wanted Ferelden to be abandoned and influenced their wardens to lie." Anora caught the drift of things quickly.

"Yeah." Alistair sighed.

"That renovated Soldier's Peak part would be a good thing, yes?" Leliana was trying to guide the conversation away from speculation on how Loghain would react to that and Alistair was grateful.

He smiled at the bard. "It would, and it's one of the things I'd like to see done. I'm hoping the Nevarrans feel guilty about putting our queen in jeopardy during their invasion of Jader. Meaning that the Nevarran First Warden really will loosen up some funds to pay for it."

Leliana chuckled. "Maybe. Maybe not. That group of Nevarrans we ran into in the tunnels were charged with rescuing Anora before the Nevarran fleet arrived."

"Ah, I wondered what you were talking about with them." Alistair grinned. "I thought you were telling them I did something embarrassing."

"On the contrary, Alistair. They were impressed that you lead the force of Fereldens to save her." Leliana winked at him.

"My hero." Anora's comment dripped with sarcasm, but she smiled anyway.

Zevran clicked his tongue. "Now, now, in all fairness, if our noble-minded Alistair had not made the first move to set up a meeting with you, Your Majesty, we would have been too late."

Alistair smiled at first and then the smile faded. "In truth, it took me a while to come to that decision … from the time I saw your face in that carriage window."

"That was you?" Anora shook her head. "I thought I'd been mistaken and dismissed the thought as wishful thinking."

Leliana reached over and squeezed Alistair's knee. "If you had done anything any earlier, then you wouldn't have had me and Zevran to help." She giggled. "You see? The Maker guides us always."

"The night you arrived was also the same night I found out I was to be Ferelden's Warden-Commander." Alistair took a deep breath. "That threw me off for a while."

Anora frowned. "Alistair, I'm curious. Why are you so afraid of leadership? You have confidence in your martial abilities and you certainly had the courage to stand up to me and Kayda."

That surprised him. That she would agree it was courage. But, he knew the answer to her question. "It's not so much that I'm afraid to lead as I was forbidden to even consider it. I was trained from the moment I was able to process thought to understand that I, in no way, was to be a leader, Anora. Eamon barely put a roof over my head and never missed an opportunity to tell me that I was the son of a scullery maid. He weekly reminded me that I would never vie for the throne. The only reason I even knew my father's name was because I overheard Eamon and Teagan arguing about it." Alistair smiled wistfully. "Teagan wanted to make me a squire of Rainesfere."

That dampened the mood. "I'm afraid I have other news about Eamon, Alistair. I have hesitated telling you because you seemed to be fond of the old bastard."

"I felt I owed him for raising me. I knew that was a mistake when he stood silent when you threatened to have me executed." Alistair had to force himself to unclench his hands.

"You have undergone a lot of … shall we say 'eye-opening' … trials lately, Alistair." Anora said that kindly, then she shook her head. "Eamon is a traitor to Ferelden and it is his execution that I'll be calling for when we return tomorrow."

Leliana leaned in closer. "Eamon's own seneschal gave me documents that damned him, Alistair. And, I would stake my reputation that they were not forged. Anora tells the truth."

When Alistair looked back to Anora, she continued, "First off, Eamon had written to Cailan encouraging him to set me aside for a more … fertile … queen. I knew about that letter. However, I did not know that the breeding cow he wanted to replace me with was Empress Celene. Leliana brought me the agreement between Eamon and Isolde and Celene. Eamon stood to gain a great deal once Ferelden was part of the Orlesian Empire by marriage and the fool Cailan was Emperor."

But, it was what Zevran added that really got to Alistair. "And, with Cailan gone, Arl Eamon would, no doubt, put you up as the next husband candidate. I'd wager that's why you were protected in the Chantry and why the Grand Cleric was so insistent upon keeping you there for her Empress."

Alistair knew his mouth was hanging open. He snapped it shut, stood quickly and walked over to the railing. A couple months ago, he would have been retching over the side with that news and trying to think of a way to get drunk to be able to forget it. Railing at the world at how unfairly he'd been treated. Acting, in every way, the poor, helpless victim.

This day, he was only sad. Sad that he had wasted so many years in utter denial of who he was and who he could have been. But, one thing that had been lately impressed upon him is that the past is written in stone. No amount of railing or drinking or yelling at the injustices he'd had to overcome would change it. He only had the present and the future to make his own.

Alistair didn't know how long he stood there before he heard Anora's voice next to him. "Alistair, are you all right?"

"Yes." He almost laughed at the surprise on her face when he took her hand and lightly kissed it. He didn't let her hand go, either. "There's an old saying about the last straw. That evidence about Eamon was it for me. When you stand to witness his execution, I shall happily stand there with you, Your Majesty." When he noticed she was standing there with her mouth open, he released her hand and added, "Oh, don't worry. I'm certain I'll still do things to annoy you. That is my nature, after all."

She got a wistful look. "And, perhaps that won't be so bad." She blushed and he noticed that he could hear his own heart beating. "Well, I think I need to go to my cabin and finish a letter I started. Until later … then … Warden-Commander."

Once she left, both Leliana and Zevran accosted Alistair.

"So, what's this kissing of hands?" she said with a grin.

"I see my lessons in smoothness are paying off," he said at the same time.

"Maker! I was … I was just … you know … being polite." He knew his face was red, so he threw up his hands and stalked to his own cabin. The sound of their laughter followed him all the way downstairs. However, when he got to his cabin, it wasn't Anora on his mind. It was still how he was going to handle her father the next day.

AN: Thanks to all reviews, favorites and follows! :)

Sironblood1, I'm glad you're enjoying this AU! It fun to write … as I must admit that I'm a bit of an Alistair fan myself. ;) I hadn't heard about Velanna being considered to merge with Justice. It would have been an interesting … if not thermo-nuclearly charged … combination. hehe I loved most of the DA2 characters, but not so much the story getting to the whole Chantry-explosion thing, which was awesome. ;)

TheGoldman, Anton is a cousin of Cassandra's. In this AU, Mason Hawke recognized earlier that the mission at Ostagar was doomed to failure and took his family to Kirkwall weeks before the defeat there. Rather than give the amulet to a random group of refugees fleeing north, Flemeth gave the amulet directly to Marethari before the clan went north. (Hence why there is no Merrill with the Kirkwall group on the ship.) Fortunately, Flemeth didn't need to use the amulet since Kayda didn't kill her for Morrigan … or, did she? Are there now two Flemeths in Thedas? ;)