All character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. All plots and themes belong to JustineNicole6.
I have to say the biggest thank you ever to my beta. This has been a team effort. I appreciate all the time and effort you put into my fic! Big loves and hugs to you!
Thank you to my Twin, Mamasita and Sister. You guys are so supportive and I love you loads! *hugs*smooches*
Sorry it's been so long…RL is a b*$! sometimes! Thanks for sticking with me!
Chapter Ten – BPOV
Watching Edward walk out the door feels wrong.
Come back! Hold me in your arms…
You don't want that, not really…You're just feeling vulnerable; do you really want him to take advantage of that vulnerability?
With a slight shudder, I turn to face Alice and the ensuing inquisition.
"Okay, Ally, what do you want to know?" I make an attempt at being proactive in the hopes I'll come out of this with my sanity intact.
"Bella, first of all, I want you to know I think it's incredible that you opened up to Edward. Does this mean what I think it means?" Alice looks at me intently.
"Probably not. What do you think it means?"
"Well, I'm assuming you've told Edward so you can attempt a relationship with him. I agree wholeheartedly. It will go so much smoother if he is aware…" Alice trails off after seeing my head shake slightly.
I sigh, releasing a deep breath, and grab the box of tissues off my desk. After cleaning my face I decide to be honest with my best friend, my only family.
"Ally, I told him because I want him to know why we can't date. I feel like I'm leading him on sometimes…I mean, just before I told him we were pressed up against my wall making out like lust-driven teenagers," I shake my head at my own stupidity.
A squeal pierces my eardrums.
I bring my hands up to preserve whatever is left of my hearing.
"For God's sake, Alice!"
I watch Ally jumping up and down in my office, clapping her hands like a little girl who's just been given a pony.
"I'm so excited! This is the start of it all!" she trills.
Clearly, she's blocked out the part where I said I couldn't date him.
"What the hell are you talking about? You're a crazy little psycho, did you know that?" I inform her with a smile. This is one of the multitudes of things I love about my Ally. She carries an undeniable aura of exuberance about her in a way that cannot be ignored.
Ally walks slowly toward me, as though she's afraid of frightening me away. "Bella, I don't want to freak you out too badly, especially after the morning you've had, but I just know Edward is the one."
Turning away from her, I can feel anger coursing through me, swift and sure.
Breathe. Take a second before you speak. I have to calm myself before I say a word. Make light of it. She didn't mean anything malicious by it. The rational part of my brain takes over. "Sorry, Ally, I could never be with someone who is prettier than I am. It's killer on the ego."
Rolling her eyes, Alice starts to mutter something about people not seeing things clearly.
Instead of becoming angry with my best friend, who is, after all, only trying to help, I attempt to change the subject.
"So, Ally, speaking of 'the one', how are things with you and Jasper?" I turn back to her, lifting a sardonic brow.
Alice points a slender finger at me, "Oh, no you don't! We're talking about you."
Sighing in defeat, I invite Alice to have a seat.
"Alright, what else is there? Yes, I told Edward. No, it doesn't mean what you want it to mean. What's your next question?"
"Bella," a serious look has replaced Ally's once jubilant expression, "what did you tell him about the baby?"
The burning, raw ache sitting low in my belly flares up insistently, bringing on fresh tears.
"Ally, why does it still hurt so much? Every time I think of my beautiful daughter, her tiny, perfect face…" I trail off, letting the pain wash over me.
Alice leans over and wraps her arms around my quivering shoulders.
"I don't know, sweetie. Just let it out. You know, I want to kill that motherfucker, Jake, for doing this to you."
Ally issuing death threats is enough to ebb the flow of tears, and a watery chuckle escapes my lips. Sniffling pitifully, I sit up, grabbing yet another tissue.
"Well, Ally, I didn't really tell Edward much at all about her. I told him Jake got me pregnant and turned into an asshole, so I was going to one of those homes for pregnant teens. Edward asked where she was and I told him I didn't have her and that was all he needed to know."
"In other words, you only glazed over your past."
"No, I told him about Charlie and Renee, even Phil. Obviously he knows about Victoria and James, too. And I told him about you…how you saved me." Looking up, I see Ally's eyes glisten before she clears her throat delicately.
The action draws my attention to a tiny heart-shaped ruby, attached to a fragile looking silver chain hanging from around her neck. I've never seen this before.
"Ally, where'd you get that pretty necklace?" I reach my hand out and lift the charm. Upon closer inspection, I notice the miniature emerald leaves at the top.
A strawberry?
Blinking in confusion, I look up into Alice's face awash with crimson. Dropping the charm, I feel a true smile break across my face and begin to laugh.
"Why, Miss Alice, whatever are we blushing for?" I tease.
"Oh, it's nothing, just a little gift from Jasper. He knows I…uh…like strawberries."
Obviously there is some piece of information I'm not privy to…yet. As much as I'd love to have details, I'm not sure she's ready to share with me.
"I'm going to let you off the hook today, Alice. You can tell me the juicy details another time. Though, since you've been with Jasper, we've barely spent any time together. So, I say, let's have a girl's night out! There's a new club opening and I don't feel like going alone," I say giving her my best 'puppy-dog' eyes.
I need a drink, a very large one. Not to mention, I haven't gotten laid since the almost encounter with Felix. It would be nice to have Alice along for some support.
"Well, I think that sounds like fun! What's the new club called?" Ally sounds genuinely excited.
"MC."
"That's it? Just 'MC'?" Alice asks with a bemused expression.
"Yeah. So, Jasper won't mind you coming with me?" I ask, carefully watching her expression for any sign of distress. It's been an emotional rollercoaster already today.
Ally looks at me, her sapphire eyes full of remorse, "Bells, have I really been that bad? I'm so sorry; I just never thought I could feel this way…"
Feeling entirely guilty for my comment, I assure her she hasn't done anything wrong. "Oh, it's just been an adjustment, that's all. I'm used to having you all to myself. I know it's selfish, but it's been just the two of us for so long. You know I love you and only want you to be happy. Does Jasper make you happy?"
"Bella, I love him. He makes me deliriously happy. I promise. I think he's going to propose!" Alice is bouncing, a pure ball of joy and happiness once again.
I; however, have to hide my shock and force my fear back with a smile. Stumbling over my words, I attempt a show of excitement for Alice's benefit.
"Wow, Ally! That's incredible, but isn't it a little bit soon to be talking about engagements?" I want to show my support for her without allowing her to get carried away.
"Well, we've been together for just about three months…I know it doesn't seem long, but it feels as though I've known him for a hundred years. We're in love." She shrugs, sounding so sure.
Ignoring the blatant fear pulsating in my veins, I become aware of a small, glimmering pool of hope. I thought I'd pulled the plug and drained all of that emotion from my being. It's buried deep in my chest, ripples marring its surface, but it is there.
I hope someday I can feel as happy as Alice…
Whoa, girl! Stop right—
Oh, shut up! I scream internally, placing heavy-duty duct tape across my inner bitch's mouth.
Smiling, I look at Alice, who is waving her tiny hand in front of my face. I place my hand on hers, pushing her arm back to her side and giving her my full attention once again.
"You feeling okay there, Bells? You zoned out for a minute or two."
"I'm fine; I was just having an epiphany of sorts." After the horrible morning I've had I can't believe I'm about to say this, but it's time. "Ally, I am truly happy for you, I hope you and Jasper will be very happy together. I wish you nothing but the best."
"Um…Bella, he hasn't actually asked me yet," Alice informs me, giggling.
We spend the remainder of the day getting very little work done, choosing instead to discuss Alice and Jasper's impending nuptials. The only thing undecided is when Jazz will pop the question. We also decide I need to get to know the man who has undoubtedly stolen my best friend's heart. Changing our plan for a girl's night out, we invite Jasper to come along.
Slipping my key into the lock, I open my apartment door with a heavy sigh.
I had a wonderful time with the happy couple. I am in full agreement with Alice. Jasper will ask her to marry him. It is inevitable. I think I'm more surprised by how little terror it brings me now. After seeing them together, spending time with them as a couple, I feel reassured. While the thought of myself getting married scares the hell out of me, I think Alice will be very happy with Jasper.
This feeling of acceptance for such a foreign concept is shocking…but peaceful.
I walk through my living room, dropping my purse and keys on the kitchen counter, kicking my shoes off as I go. The only light in the room is a faint green glow coming from the clock on my stove. Making my way carefully to my bedroom, I strip my clothes off, exhausted from my day.
I remember telling Edward to 'leave me the hell alone', and I am already regretting my words. It couldn't hurt to just talk with him, could it?
My bitchier self is struggling with the duct tape, her eyes narrowing in anger. I close the door on her tonight.
I am filled with thoughts of the beautiful green-eyed man. I've opened up to him in a way I never have before, other than with Ally…and the police.
Pushing back that less than pleasant thought, I focus on my well of hope. I am looking forward to tomorrow.
I'm going to call Edward, I need to apologize.
With a heavy sigh, I curl up in my bed to sleep, only to dream of a green-eyed knight in shining armor. Literally.
As I escape through a small hidden doorway, I am terrified the King will find out I've left again. Looking back at the palace, I shake my head before continuing down the small dirt path. My father doesn't approve of such outings. That's why I don't tell him.
Walking among the commoners is always dangerous, but exciting!
I am looking at the street vendors' wares when I notice a man seems to be watching me. I head in another direction and he follows. I make another attempt to lose him and he's still there. My heart begins to race. I regret my decision to sneak down from the castle without an escort.
I take a turn down a shortcut I know. A man is standing at the other end of the ally. I whirl in the other direction to find my exit also blocked. I stand there, too stunned to move. The men are closing in on me. I can hear them chuckling and making jokes to each other.
I start to pray.
A whinny cuts through my prayer followed by a loud voice, "Move aside, lest I kill you where you stand."
I look up to see my betrothed, atop his white stallion, sword drawn.
One of the men looks at me, then at the gleaming weapon. He grabs his cohort and flees.
Placing his sword in its sheath, he brings the horse closer to where I am.
"You are in so much trouble, Isabella. You are under strict instructions not to leave the palace without your guard." He dismounts and heads toward me, but I'm still too shaken to move.
Crouching down, his hand touches mine, still folded in prayer. After releasing them from their clenched position, he pulls me to my feet.
"My savior," I whimper, looking up into his bright green eyes.
"You are lucky I followed you today." A haunted look takes over his face, "I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."
Still speaking in a whisper, I say, "You're always around when I need you. Thank you."
Lifting me in his arms, he presses his lips to mine.
"I will always do my best to keep you safe. You are my life. I love you, Isabella."
"And I love you, Edward."
This has been one of the longest Saturdays of my life. I want to call Edward, I need to call him. After being haunted by him all night long, I can't get him out of my head. I may not want to be in a relationship, but dinner with him is sounding more and more appealing. The only problem is, I'm not sure when it would be okay to call him.
Sitting and staring at the phone number Edward wrote on a scrap of paper, I am lost in a memory.
When I asked Edward for his phone number, he had trouble keeping the look of excitement from his face…until I told him I wanted to be able to check on his progress over the weekend. Looking slightly less excited, he scribbled down his contact information in his elegant script.
My fingers trace over the numbers hoping to make him smile once again. The question is: When?
I'm completely lost in thought, unsure of how to say the words. When most girls were learning the art of flirting, I was locked away in my attic room. The only thing I feel confident in is the ability to get a man in my bed.
Shaking off my fear, I check my phone for the time.
Eleven-thirty.
Is this too early to call?
You won't know until you try.
I draw in a deep breath while scrolling through my contacts. Pressing send, I am aware of my heart racing at an uncontrollable pace.
One ring…
Two rings…
Three rings…
"Hello?" Oh, that is the sexiest I've ever heard his voice, all gravelly and low.
"Hi, Edward, it's Bella, I was wondering if you had a minute to talk. I have something important to tell you and I didn't want to wait until Monday…" I trail off, realizing I sound like an imbecilic teenager.
"Sure, I can talk." He clears his throat, "What's on your mind? I was under the impression you had nothing left to say to me."
Oh, shit…
"Look, I really wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I'm sorry. I was afraid and I didn't know how to handle it. I came to a—"
"Bella, look, I get it. You aren't interested in me. That's fine. I don't need a pity call."
Whatever I was expecting, anger wasn't it.
"But, that's what I wanted to tell you. I am interested in you. I saw the light, I guess you could say. I wanted to ask if your offer for dinner was still open. Is it?" I suck in a breath, terrified by my aplomb and anxious for a response.
Through the phone I hear a heaving sigh. In my mind's eye, I can see him pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Bella, I'm sorry, but…no."
A/N: I promise you won't have to wait so long for an update next time. I already have a good start on the next chapter. FYI: I love reviews. Just thought you'd like to know…