Disclaimer: -sigh- Must I? Again? Fine, fine, they're not mine. Except Carolyn, although if she were JK Rowling's, I'd have borrowed her anyway …… Yeah, so to sum up, wish I owned them. Rather don't think I do. If you know something I don't, I'd appreciate being filled in.
A/N: Sorry for the delay, once again! My muses are being temperamental, I'm afraid, but I've been trying to write as much as I can! Thanks loads to everybody who read and reviewed my last chapter – you have no idea how much it inspires me to keep going when I know people enjoy my work :)
Now, on with chapter eleven :D
"This Hippogriff acted as any other would! Mr Malfoy's son had been warned quite plainly of the possible consequences of insulting the creature, and he did so anyway – he is clearly the one at fault here, sirs, not Hagrid."
"Thank you, Ms Tonks. You may leave." Tonks gave Hagrid the thumbs-up before leaving the conference room. She hated those rooms – every minor question felt like part of an interrogation. Which, she supposed, was the point. The committee were likely to be hours yet, she knew, so she wandered up to Auror HQ on the second floor.
"Yo, King!"
"Don't call me King, Nymphadora!"
"Don't call me Nymphadora, Shacklebolt!"
"Don't call me Shacklebolt, Tonks!"
"Ha! Got you to call me by the right name!" She stuck her tongue out, and Kingsley glowered playfully at her, tossing her a Chocolate Frog.
"You've finished testifying, then?" he asked, beginning to walk her down to what was effectively still 'her' cubicle, although it lay empty for the time being. She nodded mutely, stuffing the thing down her throat and trying not to think about Remus' little addiction to the stuff. The longer she went without talking to him, the more she thought about him. It really was a catch-22.
"Tonks!" a low voice growled, and Tonks sat bolt upright, choking on her Frog. Kingsley chortled and rammed her on the back as she fought for breath, glaring up at Mad-Eye.
"What?" she hissed angrily, using all her self-control not to scream. She was on edge enough as it was, worrying about Hagrid, and after testifying, the last thing she needed was to be given another shock to the system.
"Just wondering what you were doing here when you're meant to be watching over Potter up at the school, was all, Tonks – no need to get snappy!"
"How does he know?!" Tonks demanded, glaring at Kingsley. "He doesn't even work here any more – how come he knows everything that goes on around here? I swear, Mad-Eye, you know more about what goes on in this place than I do! Talk about unfair!" And Kingsley promptly choked on his own mouthful of chocolate. Probably because she had just called Mad-Eye 'Mad-Eye' to his face, she suspected.
"Constant vigilance!" was all the elderly Auror said, his normal eye bulging slightly, before turning and leaving the offices, clunking all the way down the corridor.
"So," Kingsley said, turning her attention back to him now that he could breathe somewhat normally again. "Spoken to Remus lately?"
"Not since the Black break-in incident," Tonks replied sadly. Said incident had in fact been a grand total of sixteen days ago – she had been counting, subconsciously, she was sure. She had managed to avoid the dreaded night out in Hogsmeade by claiming she had a lot of paperwork to file, and she suspected Remus had spoken to Dumbledore on the subject as well, probably because he wanted to avoid her as much as she him. Kingsley furrowed his brow in apparent concern – Tonks had finally cracked just over a week ago and had told him everything, without mentioning her worries about Carolyn. She knew they were close, no matter what he said. She had left it at the fact that she and Remus could never be together, for obvious reasons, and Kingsley seemed to accept that.
"Not even a hello in passing?"
"Not even an acknowledgement when I'm in his class with Harry," she confirmed. "I can't do it, Kingsley, I just … he always seemed so different to me. When I was falling for him, I thought it could be wonderful, and now … this thing – whatever it is, or was – between us, has become the bane of my existence. I want him, but I don't want him because of the things he's done; I wish I could hate him, but at the same time I can't seem to stop thinking about him. Everything's just so … so messed up, Kingsley. What do I do?"
Tonks hated admitting weakness, especially to a colleague, and more than anything to her boss, but she had come to regard Kingsley as more of a friend than a superior of late. And everything seemed to be spiralling out of her control. As uncomfortable as it made her, she knew she had to talk to someone, before she exploded. He surveyed her for a few moments, before allowing a small, albeit somewhat sad, smile to grace his features.
"Well, I never," he murmured. "Nymphadora Tonks, I do believe you're in love."
"What???"
"Whoa!" Kingsley jumped backwards in shock as Tonks spluttered indignantly. He held out his hands as though trying to ward her off, and she shot him a withering look.
"Kingsley, this is serious," she said coolly, and he raised his eyebrows.
"What made you think I wasn't serious?"
"You – you can't possibly have meant what you just said!"
"But I did," he said simply. "Tonks, I've never seen you this worked up over anything before, let alone over a man. He's gotten right under your skin, I can tell. Not that it surprises me – Remus was always popular with girls. He just didn't want to be, the way Black and Potter did. He shied away from it all – but I assure you, you're not the first one to have fallen under his spell." Tonks tried to hide her disappointment, but something must have shown in her face, as Kingsley continued in a comforting tone. "You are, however, the only one I've ever known to get such a reaction from him. He obviously cares about you, Tonks. He just doesn't want anyone to get hurt."
"You sound just like him," Tonks said bitterly. "I told him where he could stick that." Kingsley regarded her closely, before straightening up, his brow furrowed.
"Come with me," he said plainly, and left her cubicle before she could answer. She gaped after him for a moment, before sighing dramatically and trailing after him to his own, somewhat larger, cubicle. She tried to avoid the eye of every picture of Sirius on the wall, bearing down upon her, and instead focussed her attention on Kingsley, who was pulling something large and round from a cupboard.
"Whoa!" Her mouth dropped open. "Is that … Kingsley, you have a Pensieve?" she asked in an awed whisper. He nodded briskly.
"Yes, and you're going in," he stated firmly. It wasn't a question. He withdrew a long, flowing strand of silvery substance from his temple, allowing it to fall from the tip of his wand into the basin, and swirling it around lightly. "There are a couple of things I think you ought to see. Maybe it'll help you understand a few things a little better."
"Kingsley, wh – ah!" She hadn't the time to finish her question before he had shoved her lightly in the small of her back, and she was swirling through the dense blackness of his memories. Air rushed past her ears, before she landed gracelessly with a loud thud on what appeared to be something wet. Even in someone else's mind she was a complete klutz. Just perfect.
"It really wasn't that bad, you know, Moony."
"Easy for you to say; you're a ruddy stag!"
Tonks' head snapped up. She was lying in a patch of damp grass – presumably it was morning dew – at the side of the lake, not far from the Forbidden Forest. Just behind her, sat a much younger Kingsley, with a few other boys she didn't recognise. But the voices were coming from just around the lake – with a jolt, Tonks recognised a young Remus, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew, presumably. It must, she realised, be just after the full moon. She glanced behind her, and saw Kingsley's eyes narrowed as he watched the Marauders walking, clearly under the impression that they were quiet.
"Even so …"
"You've had worse, right?" That was Sirius. He clapped young-Remus on the shoulder and gave a hearty grin, which was returned only feebly.
"That's not saying much, Paddy," Remus responded. "But," he added bracingly, "another four weeks to wait for the next. There's plenty of havoc to be wreaked in that time."
"Some Prefect you make!" Peter squealed, and Remus snorted.
"As if I'm any worse than our esteemed Head Boy here." He mock-bowed in James' direction, and the latter gave a lopsided grin and ruffled his already messy hair.
"Lily's already agreed to go to Hogsmeade with me; what's the use in being good any more?" he retorted.
"Spoken like a true Marauder!" Sirius grinned. "Speaking of you and Lily – I think it's high time old Moony here got himself a girlfriend, don't you, Prongs?" Tonks stared, wide-eyed, at her older cousin. He certainly didn't have much subtlety about him.
"Absolutely," James nodded. "I mean, some of these girls just pine after you, Moony, and you don't even give them a second glance!"
"Such a waste," Sirius said, almost mournfully. Git, Tonks thought.
"I have no interest in a relationship right now, thank you very much," Remus replied calmly, reaching into his bag and pulling out a textbook of some sort. "Shall we stop?" They did indeed stop, and the four reclined in the grass under shade of a large birch tree. Remus leant against the trunk, his book open at some marked page; Sirius lay flat on his back, popping gum; Peter sat rather nervously alongside him; and James lounged just next to Remus, half-lying down, ruffling his hair and peering over mini-wolf's shoulder.
"'Ancient Runes: An Advanced Approach'??" he said incredulously. "Moony, you could be spending this valuable time with a girl, you do realise this?"
"Thankfully, James, I am aware of such simple facts." So Remus. Tonks couldn't suppress a grin. "However, I could never in good conscience be with a girl without telling her first of the nature of my … condition, and 'to him that you tell your secret you resign your liberty.'" Tonks grinned at this – even at seventeen, he was still reciting old proverbs. The Marauders, it seemed, were not so familiar with famous Muggle adages, and the three others stared at Remus as if he had sprouted two heads. Actually, now she thought of it, sprouting two heads at Hogwarts was probably more routine behaviour.
"And what, pray tell, does that mean?" Sirius asked blankly. Remus chuckled.
"It means, Padfoot, that if I were to tell any girl the truth, I would have placed my future in her hands, in essence – she would have control over me, should she desire it."
"Oh. Well why didn't you just say so, then??" Remus simply rolled his eyes, and Tonks thought to herself how he hadn't changed. She saw him suddenly sit up a little straighter, and glanced in the direction he was now looking. A girl was running in their direction, her eyes sparkling: a girl with straight, long, very dark hair and almond shaped eyes …
"Carolyn," Tonks breathed, her chest tightening. Fifth-year Carolyn darted right around Kingsley and his friends and straight into Remus' arms. The tears were welling up in Tonks' eyes – had King done this just to torture her?
"Oh, Remus!" Carolyn said, sounding upset. "I didn't sleep a wink last night, you know that? I could've sworn I heard howling – and cantering! Maybe you found the centaurs or something? Was it an awful moon for you? Oh, I wish I could help you through them!"
"Carrie!" he grunted, and Tonks gaped. Carrie???? "Come on, get off, I'm fine …"
"Oh, okay, okay! Merlin, you're a stubborn ass, Remus Lupin!" Carolyn complained, clambering off of him. She then grinned and pounced on Sirius, tackling him and giggling loudly. Tonks caught Remus looking pointedly in the opposite direction as Sirius pulled her on top of him and kissed her lovingly. Her heart sank a little more – had he really loved her for as long as all this? She had no chance!
Just then, the memory around her faded, and as she glanced behind her, and saw Kingsley storming in the other direction. He didn't know what had happened after this, and consequently, neither would she … Everything swirled into darkness, and she was falling again …
"Ouch!!" This time, she landed on a solid floor. A quick glance around told her that she was in the Gryffindor common room. Remus sat in a chair by the fire, a Transfiguration textbook open in his lap, and Kingsley sprawled on the floor at his feet, his own textbooks scattered around him. He glanced up at Remus, looking confused.
"So why would anyone want to be an Animagus?" he asked. Clearly she'd landed in the middle of a conversation. Remus glanced down at young-Kingsley.
"Well, a large number of reasons," he said thoughtfully. "I suspect because they enjoy knowing they can do it, considering it's very advanced magic. And it would certainly be useful, particularly if you can transform into a small animal, if you had to make a quick getaway. And if – for any reason – an Animagus had his wand broken, he would always have some remaining ties to the magical world."
"Oh … how long would it take, then?"
"Interested?" Remus asked, a glint in his eye. Kingsley rolled his own.
"Pass," he said blankly. "Too much like hard work. But McGonnagall's making us write two feet of parchment on it, and you're not my tutor for nothing."
"Very true. Well, it has been known to be done in about two years …" Tonks saw him struggle to conceal a smirk here. "But it can take up to seven, or eight – it depends on how powerful the witch or wizard is, and how committed to the project they are."
"Oh, right … is it true Sirius and Carolyn have been going out for three months now?" Kingsley's tone was passive, but Tonks could tell he had deeper emotion running through him – and apparently, so could Remus. He closed his book abruptly, and got to his feet rather suddenly. Kingsley sat up.
"I agreed to tutor you on the condition that you didn't mention Carolyn," Remus said quietly, his tone warning.
"Yeah, but –"
"I'm sure you remember what happened the last time you and I had a conversation about your relationship with Carolyn, don't you, Shacklebolt?"
"Yes …"
"Then I suggest you leave well alone. She doesn't need you in her life."
"You're telling me you want her with Sirius bloody Black?! That womaniser? He's far more likely to break her heart than I am!" Kingsley snapped. For a moment, Remus didn't answer, and when he finally did, his voice was quiet.
"I trust Sirius." With those words, he turned and headed for the dormitory stairs, and Tonks felt herself being pulled backwards, until she tumbled out onto the hard floor of Kingsley's cubicle. She glanced up at the man himself, sitting at his desk with quill in hand, eyeing her apprehensively.
"Enjoy yourself?" he asked quizzically, his eyes darting back to the parchment before him. She clambered to her feet and shrugged in what she hoped was a nonchalant manner.
"It was … well, to be honest, I'm not quite sure what your intention was in showing me any of this, Kingsley," Tonks confessed. "I mean, I see that he and Carolyn have always been close, and how defensive he was, but I already knew that much!"
"My intention?" Kingsley repeated. "My intention was for you to see him when I first knew him, when he wasn't quite as affected by his condition as he is now. You can see it was still hard for him, but things were easier back then. And yet, he was still so protective about the people he loved; about not hurting anyone. Doesn't it help you see where he's coming from now, even just a little?" She supposed, maybe, it did.
"I guess," she said finally. "Thanks, King."
"No problem." The fact that he didn't correct her use of the nickname showed her how serious he thought this issue was, and it touched her. She crossed the room in a few brief strides, and before he had a chance to complain, she hugged Kingsley for a moment.
"Tonks!" She grinned and even allowed herself a laugh as she let him go and saw the jokingly annoyed expression on his face. He rolled his eyes. "You're going soft."
"Must be all the time I've spent with the Gryffindors," she retorted immediately.
"Ouch!" He feigned hurt, but grinned at the same time. Quite a feat, really. "Are you waiting for Hagrid, or are you heading back to the castle now?"
"I think I'll just head back," Tonks mused. In the back of her mind was some vague idea about speaking to Carolyn about Sirius, but she wasn't about to tell Kingsley that.
"All right, well, like I keep telling you – take care of yourself, okay?"
"I always do," she said, winking. He rolled his eyes and shooed her out of the door, and she laughed aloud as she made her way back to the Atrium. One foot out of the elevator, one foot in; the Fountain of Magical Brethren in sight; and she was stopped in her tracks.
"Tonks!"
A/N: The muses also love cliffies, did I mention that? Sorry about that …… Anyway, felt I'd better wrap it up here instead of rambling for another few thousand words (which my next section would really have to be), because you'd never get a chapter this week if I did! So, sorry, but maybe your guesses will make me write faster? Come on, who do you think it is? (Hint: It's not Molly this time :P )
Thanks for reading!
Alli xoxo