Author Note: I lied. The stalking horse will have to come later. This is different. I'm actually quite serious about this. If you haven't done this at least once you're missing out, because the first time I saw this I laughed so hard. Try it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Don't forget to review.

Scream Away Then

Managing to get a pass to allow entrance into Venezia was going to be a problem, and waiting around would only make the trail grow colder. Almost any method would work. It wasn't something that he was going to fret terribly over. Leonardo looked more worried than he was.

"Mi dispiace, Ezio. If I had known I would have found a way to get you across." Leonardo offered, already knowing that it was an empty offer. "Perhaps after I've been there a while I can send you a pass, and then you can catch the next charter."

It wasn't a bad suggestion, but Ezio wasn't going to just wait around. "It's alright, Leonardo. I'll think of something." Kill the captain. Impersonate a different passenger. Something. "Don't trouble yourself over it. Just have them bring your luggage onboard. I'll go and…."

They both paused when they heard a woman begin shouting from across the water. "What's her problem?" Ezio asked, and Leonardo just shrugged.

Ezio strayed a little from the dock before he could see a woman that was stranded on an outcrop of rocks surrounded by water. "Don't just stand there. I need help." She yelled.

"Avete sentito la donna, Ezio."

A detour wouldn't hurt. After all, the ship didn't leave for a while and Ezio wasn't about to turn down a woman in distress. In perticolare, non una donna bella come la sua. He could imagine how scared she was. Once he saved her she would be in need of comfort, something he was more than willing to provide. Leaving Leonardo behind to deal with any of his luggage that wasn't yet onboard Ezio strode to the edge of the docks before leaping into the cool, dingy pond.

"Aiuto!"He could hear her scream as he swam through the water. If she couldn't swim he couldn't help but wonder how in the world she had managed to get up there to begin with. Had her boat drifted off? Pushing aside his wonderings he focused on navigating through the water to where she was still standing and yelling.

The cool water chilled him to the bone, and all the layers of fabric were fighting against him to pull him under. It made him worry a little about how well he could manage to get her back. Then again once he reached the outcropping of rock that she was stranded on he could probably find the easiest way back that would guarantee their safety.

Ezio could see her come into view as he rounded a smaller island. He swam to the edge before using his feet to push off, which gave him an extra burst of speed.

As he got closer he noticed her looking at him with a mixture of confusion and annoyance. Certainly not what he was expecting to see when he was there to help her. Ignoring the initial look he came over, stopping at the base of the island and leveling off.

She sighed and shook her head. "What the hell is this?" There was an underlying exasperation.

Ezio paused a little dumbfounded. He'd come all this way and that was what she had to say. "I'm… rescuing you." He explained, as if that much wasn't obvious. He was a good swimmer so it wasn't like she should have any doubts.

"Without a boat? What are you going to do? Carry me? Go get the boat!" The last part she practically yelled at him, and after staying idle for a moment he turned and started swimming back in the direction of the docks. He was starting to get a pretty good idea of why she had been left out there on the rocks. Whatever poor gondolier had been stuck with her had kicked her off, and Ezio didn't blame them.

There was a boat off to her left that he swam past before he reached the docks and pulled himself out. His clothes were drenched, and the slight wind only seemed to chill him further. With a grumble he walked over to where the painter stood waiting. Leonardo looked a little more entertained than Ezio justified in this situation. "I thought that you were going to go help her." Leonardo mused.

"Zitto. Saving her is hardly worth it. It's not like it would solve our current problem."

Leonardo shook his head with a laugh. It was clear that Ezio didn't know who the woman was, and what kind of influence she had here. "Così, che cosa vi suggerisce? You have to get to Venezia somehow."

"I know. I'll just hide in the box with your flying contraption." Ezio started towards the area where Leonardo's luggage was still being transferred from the wagon to the ship. "No one will think to look for me there."

Faintly over the water he could still hear the woman yelling for help.

"Let her find her own way."

Glossary of Italian: (I don't speak Italian. All translation was checked, double check, and rechecked on an online translator.)

Aiuto! – Help!

Avete sentito la donna, Ezio. – You heard the woman, Ezio.

Così, che cosa vi suggerisce? – So, what do you suggest?

In perticolare, non una donna bella come la sua. – In particular, not a beautiful woman like her.

Mi dispiace, Ezio. – I'm sorry, Ezio

Zitto. – Be quiet.