"What is your name anyway and if the forces of this universe won't let you tell us what should we call you?" Hermione asked the girl.
"The Girl, I guess?" the Girl answered. "The forces of this universe seem very unimaginative..."
"Let's try calling you random names so we can find out your real name!" Natsu yelled.
"I don't think that's going to work-" Hermione spoke.
"Chicken!" Natsu yelled. A lightning bolt struck him.
"Bob!" Gray yelled. He, too, was struck.
"Ham sandwich!" Elie yelled but got electrocuted.
"Bobby Socks!" Gray yelled, and collapsed.
"Puuun!" Plue said, and danced away from a lightning bolt.
"Bobo!" Gray yelled, all black and burnt.
"Jojo!" Natsu yelled. He seemed to be getting things wrong a lot for some reason.
"Bobalina!" Gray yelled before getting struck, too.
"What?" Harry asked.
"It's feminine!" Gray protested.
"Let's try a palindrome," Lucy said. "Ana! Dumb mud!"
"Tell a mate, "Go get a mallet!"" Natsu yelled.
"Natsu?" Lucy asked.
"Yeah?" Natsu turned around.
"You need...help. Like Fairy Tail," Lucy deadpanned.
"For what?" Natsu asked.
"Your...problems," Lucy answered.
"Do not bob to nod!" Gray suggested.
"What's with you and 'Bob'?" Harry yelled, staring at Gray. A picture of Blue Pegasus' Bob appeared in the air.
"It's wrong! I don't like him!" Gray said, suddenly looking very tsundere.
"I didn't mean it that way-" Harry facepalmed.
"There really is a guy named Bob in our universe," Lucy reminded Gray.
"I KNOW AND I DIDN'T WANT TO!" Gray complained.
"THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY YOU DIDN'T LIKE 'BOB'?" Harry hollered, frustrated.
"Hey, we didn't get struck when we tried to palindromes!" Lucy said gleefully. "Sounds like the forces of the universe are telling me I'm closer to the Girl's name!"
"Sounds like the forces of the universe like symmetry," Hermione muttered.
Meanwhile...
"You are so horrible! I have never seen in my whole life anything so irregular!" Death the Kid, Leader of the Fantasy Realm stared at Ciel Phantomhive from Black Butler and his eye patch.
"Really?" Ciel asked coolly.
"You have to get rid of that eyepatch at one!" Death the Kid insisted.
"Yes, but underneath the eyepatch-" Ciel lifted it, revealing an eye with a fancy pattern on it.
"AUGH! YOU HAVE TO GET THAT SURGICALLY REMOVED, TOO!" Death the Kid yelled.
"Well, looks like we don't have anything to do," Hermione sighed. "No crazy teams showing up, and we're certainly thankful that awful bunch of sparkly boys moved out."
"The Host Club? Yeah, I was unconscious the whole episode," the Girl answered.
"Maybe we should have a competition!" Natsu burst out.
"A contest?" the Girl asked, curious.
"Yes! We should all work together and try to see what kinds of skills you have That are hidden!" Natsu answered.
"Does nose picking count?" The girl asked.
"? No.." Lucy answered.
"I agree! We should do a competition!" Erza spoke. "We shall all pick teams. Those with odd numbers go with me, and those with even numbers go with the Girl."
(Ten Minutes later...)
"Okay, since everybody picked odd numbers, some people volunteer to be with the Girl!" Erza grumbled.
"Aye sir!" Gray and Natsu answered.
"First competition-Rock paper scissors!" Ron yelled.
"How is that supposed to do anything?" Harry raised an eyebrow.
The girl, surprisingly, proved to be proficient at this. Gray and Natsu kept getting into stalemates, which made them angry and bicker. Erza just glared at everyone and ended up somehow winning that way. When Natsu beat her accidentally he had to get down in a dogeza and bow five times to her in apology.
"Well, that was a trial," Erza muttered. "Let us begin the next round!"
"Ooh my we had to cancel that accidentally," Ron said with a face the color of snow. "Uh, next is the-Harry I can't do it it's too cruel!" He burst into tears spontaneously.
"What, is it a match against Erza?" Harry asked.
LEARNING HOW TO POLISH CHERRY WOOD FLOORS
"The art of polishing cherry wood flooring is an ancient and unheard of art, so mysterious and difficult! Why, one mistake and look, these beautiful planks would be forever ruined!" Ron sobbed, caressing the wooden flooring and kissing it. "I shall have to teach you all!"
Everyone was dressed in ceremonial cherry wood flooring polishing robes that Ron provided.
"Are you sure this tutu is absolutely necessary?" James Potter asked.
"You know what a tutu is?" Lily Potter asked, incredulous.
"Fooled once, not twice," James Potter shrugged. "Blame Sirius."
"Look, it was Remus who told me it was a magical kilt that could turn me into a hippogriff," Sirius answered.
"Why aren't you wearing any shorts underneath?" James asked.
"Why, a real man doesn't wear a kilt with knickers, James. You ought to know that. T's very unmanly. Though it is kinda breezy and I wish I shaved earlier and I kinda can't lift my leg or I'll be fined for public exposure-" Sirius said.
"Silencio!" Lily yelled, pointing her wand at Sirius. "Too much information."
"Why's he exempt?" The Girl pointed at Gray.
"Uh," Ginny scratched her head. "Um..."
"He has some...problems," Lucy answered.
"Now, we shall begin the ceremonial dance of honor," Ron spoke.
"Why aren't you wearing the ceremonial gown?" Hermione raised an eyebrow.
"It is too manly for me to wear," Ron answered. He looked at Sirius. "Sir, you are a true picture of manliness, very macho," he nodded solemnly.
"I want to hex him," Ginny said randomly. "On a whim."
"Now, on my count, we're all going to jump up and down and spin in a circle," Ron demonstrated. "Got it? Then we all wave our arms left and right, and then we shake hands and-"
"Why do we have to honor the cherry wood floor?" Ginny asked.
"Quiet, Ginny. Next, you must bow five times saying 'Forgive me for varnishing your raw beauty'. Then we move our hips, like this-"
"No way," Harry said. "Sirius, please don't, especially. Put some underwear on for goodness sake..."
"Now, we have to sing the Cherry Wood Polishing Song," Ron added.
"What?" Hermione gaped.
"Sung to the tune of Spongebob Squarepants. Everybody, repeat after me," Ron cleared his throat.
"I feel even wimpier for some reason," the Girl muttered.