Chapter Eleven: Departure

Speedy

My mind was racing as I knocked on the door, terrified that he would answer, more terrified that he wouldn't. "Dude, talk. Are you alive in there?" A flicker of anxiety crossed my thoughts. "You didn't do anything to yourself, did you?"

I realized how strange that sounded, and shut my mouth.

"Yes," he answered. His voice was hoarse again, but not from an injury. "I'm alive."

A breath of relief caught in my throat. My hand shook as I put it on the wall to support myself.

"…barely," he added quietly, seeming confident I couldn't hear.

I was going to answer when I realized he probably just wanted to be left alone, like I had when I was in the same situation. It was ironic, or very nearly, but somehow I couldn't find it funny. "Listen," I said through the door. "Just tell me what's going on in your head."

"Like I'd do that!" he snapped. At least he wasn't completely in shock. "Go away…"

"I want to know what you're thinking."

"Yeah, well, I don't want to think about what I'm thinking."

I bit my lip and rolled my eyes needlessly. "Why?"

"Because I know I'm not gay!"

It may have had the same effect if he had punched me. "Why…" I cleared my throat. "Why would you think otherwise?"

"Are you stupid?" he yelled. I heard something break in his room—glass?

"Aqualad—open the door!"

"Make me! Go away!"

"You sound like a child."

"Speedy, you're a bastard! Get away from me!"

My eyes widened in surprise. Where did that come from? "Now I'm really wondering what's going on in your head."

"Yeah, well, go wonder elsewhere!"

"Why don't you go be moody elsewhere, then? C'mon—open the door and talk!"

"Oh, now you want to talk?" I heard him slide his window open and then footsteps on the windowsill. "Well, I'll take your advice—and leave!"

"Aqualad!" I pounded on his door, running off a stream of curses. Eventually, I slammed an energy arrow into the panel neat to the doorway. The hallway lights flickered and flashed, but the door sparked and slid open in time for me to see him dive gracefully out of his window. "Stop!" I yelled, grabbing for him.

He was already plummeting towards the water by the time I was halfway out the window, leaning out to look down. I didn't care about the fall—he'd done it before, and seemed to like diving from such heights. He'd hit the water anyway.

Rather, I cared that he might be leaving.

I felt helpless as he hit the water, a tiny splash spraying up from his perfect dive. His form appeared again, just below the surface, checking to see if I had leaped out after him. Seemingly satisfied, his shadow sped toward the nearest port city on the mainland. As he got farther away from the Tower, a sinking feeling came over me.

He's just leaving for a few hours, I told myself, clambering back into the room. I reached out to the nightstand to catch my balance when a searing pain ripped across my hand and wrist. Turning my gaze to look, I saw a picture frame on the floor, its picture ripped in two laying next to it, and the glass of the frame scattered everywhere.

I sat upright, mindlessly pulling a long chunk of glass from my wrist, not even blinking at the blood. The picture frame had held a picture of the team; Bumblebee in the center, Mos y Menos on her left side, and Aqualad on her right. I was standing next to him, the only one not happily crowding in. Instead, I had crossed my arms and, at the time of the picture, had been looking down at Aqualad. To anyone who was oblivious, it would seem like a skeptical look, but if someone understood what I had been thinking, they would've realized it was a wholly different emotion.

"I heard a crash—" Bumblebee called, stepping through the door.

I turned to look at her, my head spinning. I raised a hand in greeting, feeling something warm slide down my arm and drip onto the carpet.

"Where's Aqualad?" she yelped, reaching for my hands. I winced away, dizzy.

"He left…"

I felt the darkness flood over my senses and then a falling sensation, all the while hearing hushed cries of someone far away, asking me Why?

'Because of him,' I tried to answer, but my voice was lost in the crashing, pounding sirens in my head.