"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!?! WHERE IN JASHIN'S HELL DID YOU THINK OF A SHITTY IDEA LIKE THIS?!?!?!" Hidan yells as Ronan, and I drag a now tied up Hidan to the training grounds. Ronan for some reason looked very happy as she held her very sharp katana over her shoulder.
"I WANNA LIGTH THE FIRE!!" I yell as Ronan holds her sword over Hidan's head, an evil grin on her face. Deidara hits his head with his hand.
"Why am I going out with a crazy emo girl?" Ronan growls at him, as I have a ball of flame in my hand.
"I HEARD THAT!" Ronan yells back to him.
"Because she'll kill you if you break up with her." I say with an oddly happy tone. Deidara suddenly has a horrified look, like he wanted to run away screaming like a 6 year old with pig tails, well, his hair was long enough for pigtails, and would probably look like a girl in a pink dress, but he would probably have to be drunk as hell before he consented to that, and maybe high too…..I would have to talk to Itachi about that…
"I'm not that mean!" I look at Ronan with an amused grin on my face, knowing she actually would.
"Your right, you would just beat him to a pulp until he wished he was dead." You could very easily see the twitch of Deidara's eye now as he contemplated suicide. Hidan was mostly glad the attention was off him and his decapitation.
"Just cut his head off already!" Kakuzu yelled from the background.
"What the fucking hell?! I fucking thought you were my damn partner you-" …….this portion of this fanfiction had to be removed because of mass amounts of cussing that would probably scar your mind permanently….
Everyone stares at Hidan in disbelief that one person could cuss that much in such a short time. Deidara passed out as his mind was too overloaded with inappropriate language. Kakuzu was the one with the twitch in his eye now, his ear drums almost completely obliterated.
Ronan grins as the light glints off of her sword, showing how sharp it was, almost godly sharp.
"And now…for the moment we've all been waiting for!" I say dramatically. Ronan holds her katana over his head dramatically and brings it down, cutting off Hidan's head…a still cussing head rolled over to my feet.
"Mother fucking bitch and your fucking sword-" Konan suddenly starts bursting out in laughter, falling over still laughing. We all (including the decapitated head) look over at her, like she was Crazy, or just on crack.
"…she got into my blue sharpie stash again…" Kisame says as he sighs.
"Ohhhhh, that's why you're blue!" Asagi says like she had an epiphany. (Konan still laughing)
"Is that why her hair is blue?" Ronan asks, finally understanding why everyone had very odd hair colors.
"So did Hidan get a good deal on silver sharpies or something?" Warai scoffs.
"…maybe." Hidan's decapitated head said as he looked very guilty about something.
"Did, you steal them Hidan?" boy Tobi asked.
"….no…."
"Good boy." boy Tobi said.
"I'm going to start a fire now….hey….." I walk over to Ronan and whispers something to her. She smiles evilly as I walked away and started the bonfire.
We both picked up Hidan's body and started singing
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the
-dramatic pause-
FLOOOOOOOOOOOR! We yelled as we throw his body on the ground, I lit him with fire, and Ronan shoots electricity at him, and Hidan's head yells 'no' long and dramatically like, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" And we smile evilly. Of course, all good things that involve Hidan marshmallows must come to an end… Pein bursts through the double doors, but of course walks into the metal bar between the doors, and we all suppress giggles, knowing we're going to get hell for this. Everyone could clearly see the vein in his head that was threatening to burst. Of course what we all thought was the most odd was the fact he was still in his bath robe…it was purple…
"What are you doing! Why the fuck is Hidan's body-"
I of course interrupt him, "I didn't know the training grounds had double doors!"
"I summoned those for dramatic effect,…but that's not the point!! Where the hell is Hidan's body?! And why do I smell bacon?" Ronan and I try to conceal the burning body behind us, and of course fail.
"NO COMPUTER FOR YOU!"
"What's a computer?"
"…..I have no idea, I've heard it on so many random soap operas."
"You watch soap operas?!" I laugh at him.
"You're grounded!!"
"WHAT?!"
…So of course Ronan and I get grounded, for, well, until we die, or get killed by a slightly charred Hidan.
I hold a walkie talkie in my hand, look to the sides of my room, and press the button, "Hi Ronan…" I whisper.
"Your uncle is an ass." She whispers back. I'm of sitting on my bed huggling my pillows because Warai isn't allowed in my room. Ronan is in the corner of her room, being emo once again, her walkie talkie in hand.
"I AM NOT AN ASS!" Pein yells from the other side of the akatsuki. We both have dumbfounded looks on her face, with absolutely no idea on how he knew what we where talking about, but he's kind of a ninja, so I'm sure he has some random 'listen to what the grounded teenagers are saying jutsu'.
"Everyone who thinks Pein is an ass, say 'I'!" Ronan yells and I smile mischievously….the entire rest of the akatsuki says I into the walkie talkies, and we're both silent for a second, wondering how the hell did they get walkie talkies?!
"Tobi, Ronan, come out into the living room for a second." Pein says into the walkie talkie, of course we're totally confused of how he has a walkie talkie, but oblige anyway. We both walk emoly into the living room, and immediately glomp our respective boyfriends. Warai attempts to kiss me on the forehead but I unexpectedly jerk my head up, making him kiss me on the mouth, this quickly turns into a full blown make out session.
"Ahem!" My uncle clears his throat, a baseball bat in his hand, with the word 'compassion' on the business end. Tap tap tap tap. At this point Ronan and Deidara are about as red as tomatoes. " Well, I have brought you here," He starts pacing around the room, thinking over and over that this was a bad idea, but keep talking, "Because, well, I want you four to join the akatsuki, officially." We all stare at him like he's insane, which if he actually just suggested this idea, then he is.
"ARE YOU INSANE?!" Warai yells, even though he would become part of the akatsuki as well.
"You will do missions, and eventually not be grounded anymore, but once you aren't grounded, you're still part of the akatsuki." He keeps talking as he ignores Warai.
"I like this idea." Ronan says happily.
"We're not even- oh no wait, most of us came from different villages so everyone on my team is either jonin or higher….how the hell do we get to be s-class missing nin?" I asked my dear uncle. "Are you fucking insane, I may be a ninja but I don't like killing. So how the fucking hell would I be an s-class missing nin?!?!" I yell at him.
"I don't have a problem with it," Ronan said as she raises her hand, " Watching the life slowly drain from their eyes as the color fades from their face as their blood pools on the floor beneath them, any glimmer of hope extinguishing-" Deidara had a kind of horrified look covering the sweet girly features of his face.
"What's up girly," I tease, "Do you not like the slow deaths of others?" I question him with a evil smirk on my face.
"No, un," he replies, "I much prefer the fast explosions of art, un. And I find it quite creepy that my girlfriend is…being….very morbid, its just creepy un."
"She's actually like that most of the time, along with hiding in corners with sharp objects-" I'm cut off by the murderous glare of Ronan.
"You can shut up now."
My grin grows wide, turning my attention back to Deidara, "Well then you wouldn't like the dear story about Steve," He looks at me questioningly as my grin gets wider and wider and I go into a very…graphic story about a guy named Steve, pulled up out of my imagination. "One day," I started, "There was a young boy, about 5, who's name was Steve. He was beaten by his father all the time. One day when he was ten, he finally snapped, taking a knife out of the kitchen and slowly sliding it into his fathers chest, turning it slowly clockwise, torturing him, yet not killing him yet-" I smile as I notice I have officially creeped him out again.
"I thought you said you didn't like killing people." He said.
"I don't," I reply, "I enjoy tourturing; just sometimes the people die in the process." I smile eerily.
"You really are my sister's daughter." Pein says, as though he wasn't sure about that before.
"I know." I smile a girly smile that looks reeeeeally creepy.
"Ahem, anyway, here are your akatsuki uniforms," Pein hands them to us, Ronan and I immediately put them on and glomp our boyfriends, "And here are your rings." Ronan's is black, Warai's is blue, Asagi's is orange, and mine is red. We glomp our boyfriends again.