AN: Hey, everyone. It's been a while. I've been very busy with my A-levels at the moment and will be for the next two years. I thought I'd update for now, though. About this chapter: I do love Smosh and hate having to villainize them, but the story just works this way. I also couldn't find a youtuber to replace Hagrid, so hopefully you'll be content with this. Enjoy the next chapter!
"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! Carrie tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my flat crying myself. The policeman chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went through my door cause he would look like a perv that way.
Anyway, I started crying tears of glitter and then I drained two bottles of vodka. The alcohol got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Justin Bieber song at full volume. I grabbed a razor blade and... started to shave my legs. I was so fucking infuriated! I got out of the bathtub and put on a red low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on matching high heels with gold metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of pokéball earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Anthony was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Ian was masticating to it! They had climbed a tree outside my window.
"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a white towel with a picture of One Direction on it. Suddenly Phil ran in.
"Asdfghjkl!" he yelled at Ian and Anthony pointing a pretend womb from his magic set. I took my gun and shot Ian and Anthony a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, the policeman ran in. "Amethyst, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Ian and Anthony and then he ate a bagel and suddenly…
Crash Bandicoot ran outside on his Yellow Horde and said everyone we need to talk.
"What do you know, Crarsh? You're just an old video game character!"
"I MAY BE A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER…." Crarash paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A YOUTUBER!"
"This cannot be." Anthony said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where my gun had shot him. "There must be other factors."
"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.
Ian held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"
I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you drink without eating first.
"Why are you doing this?" Ian said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his cloothes.
And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite his skin off and eat it like what Dan did to Phil when they were going out.
"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Crash said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his Fruitzooka in the air. Then swooped he in singing Never Gonna Give You Up.
"Because you're a nerd?" Anthony asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he might hack his YouTube account.
"Because I LOVE HER!"