Hey guys! So I have a really good reason for not updating. OUR WIFI BROKE. Seriously, I kid you not, I have been living without wifi. And it has been nothing short of a struggle. I have been dying to post this chapter, and I couldn't because something was wrong with our router (one of my siblings knocked it off of the computer table).

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed and favorited and followed this story. You guys are amazing and I couldn't ask for better readers.

Enjoy!

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Chapter 10

Sebastian wasn't known to be overly patient, or even tolerant for that matter, but he was ready to kick his therapist in the nuts.

He only had ten minutes left of his session, but he wasn't sure how much more of this he could handle.

Dr. Hassen had spent the whole time spewing on and on about how Sebastian felt about every freaking thing. He knew that was going to happen, but that didn't make it any less annoying. Sebastian was known for short answers and this guy didn't seem to appreciate his curtness.

So on top of the therapist trying to make him discuss his personal life, he wanted him to use lots of words. Yeah, dream on.

They had already attempted to discuss Danny, but after Sebastian's completely successful avoidance of the subject, they had moved on to a topic he liked even less; his childhood.

"How was your relationship with your parents?"

He shrugged and began picking at the seam along the arm of the overly stuffed chair. "Fine."

"What was your mother like?"

"Motherly."

Dr. Hassen frowned. "And your father?"

"Fucking fatherly."

Dr. Hassen placed his notepad on his lap. "Sebastian, these sessions have no purpose if you don't actually talk to me."

"So what am I doing right now?"

"Avoiding things that make you uncomfortable."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. He didn't have time for this drama. "Alright, you want the truth, doc? My mother is a doormat and my father is a homophobic asshole."

"And now we're getting somewhere. How did your father act out his homophobia?"

Sebastian's stomach tightened. He wouldn't share too much, just enough. "He would embarrass me every chance he got." And hit me. But it was with a belt, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

"How?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Call me a fag. Yell at me around the family and friends. The usual. One time he even had a pastor pray over me for like an hour in the middle of a church sermon."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Like a freaking unicorn," he snapped. "How do you think?"

"Like you were worthless. Like no matter what you did, how smart you were, how many things you accomplished, you would never be good enough all because of your sexual orientation."

Sebastian was taken aback. The past guidance counselors and therapists he had seen didn't usually say stuff like that. They never… well, read your mind. He realized he was staring and pulled his mask back on. "Yeah, whatever. It just made me hate him. I know I'm amazing. Ask anyone."

"Sometimes narcissism is just a cover up for low self-esteem."

"Not in my case."

"Sebastian, despite what society tells you, low self-esteem is common in men-"

"That's great. But as I said earlier, I'm fine. I love myself."

"Sebastian, we both know-"

"No we don't!" Alright, he was going to lose it. "You don't know anything! No one does! I know everything about me and I don't need some sappy middle age loser to tell me what to do, how I was treated, or who the freaking hell I am!"

Dr. Hassen just stared at him. At first Sebastian believed he had shocked the man into silence, but Dr. Hassen was just waiting for him to finish.

A few minutes later, after they had eyed each other as Sebastian cooled down, Dr. Hassen glanced at his watch and smiled lightly. "Our time is about up, but I think we're off to a good start."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Sure. Whatever."

"I have one last question for you before you leave."

Sebastian flopped back in the chair. "What?"

"Who do you think you are?"

"Excuse me?"

"You told me that only you knew who you were," Dr. Hassen leaned forward and looked Sebastian in the eyes. Sebastian didn't usually have problems with eye contact, but he could feel the doctor's eyes burning into his forehead and he couldn't bring himself to look up. "So tell me then, who are you?"

Sebastian snorted. "I'm an incredibly attractive arrogant dick with bad taste in men. I'd say that about sums me up."

Sebastian got up and started walking out before Dr. Hassen could nail him with a look and give him some sort of speech.

"See you in a few days Sebastian."

Sebastian just slammed the door and trudged into the waiting room. His energetic departure hurt his battered body. Not to mention his stomach had developed a pulse. Nausea seemed to be gaining normalcy recently.

Kurt glanced up from the magazine he had been engrossed in and took in Sebastian's disconcerted look. He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it and just motioned his head in the direction of the door.

Sebastian didn't even wait for Kurt; he just walked as swiftly as he could and barely registered what he was doing until he was sitting in the front seat of Kurt's car, his hands tucked under his arms to lessen their tremors.

Kurt got in and shut the door softly. "You're next session is on Tuesday."

"Peachy."

Kurt buckled his seatbelt and started the car. "You probably don't want to, but if you want to talk about it…"

"About what princess?"

Kurt sighed. "Why you came out of there looking like you were about to have a mental breakdown."

Sebastian bit back a snide remark. "I'm fine. I just wish people would leave me the hell alone."

Kurt felt like banging his head on the steering wheel. Gaga, there needed to be a freaking manual on how to deal with Sebastian Smythe.

Kurt knew Seb wouldn't talk about it. Hell, he wouldn't talk about it if it had been him. But he just wanted some way to make Sebastian feel safe. To assure him that Danny was never going to touch him again.

He noticed that Seb's hands were shaking. Kurt swallowed back the emotions bubbling up. Sometimes he had to remind himself that someone could hurt Sebastian Smythe enough that just the thought of them made his hands convulse.

Without thinking, Kurt reached over and gently placed his hand over Sebastian's. Sebastian jumped pitifully, but didn't pull his hand back. They hit a spotlight and Kurt dared to glance at the shaking boy beside him.

Sebastian's face was turned to the window so Kurt couldn't see his expression, but he wasn't so sure he wanted to. Kurt had a feeling if he could see those emotional green eyes that he would lose it himself.

God, he was such a freaking dramatic cry baby.

"If you don't feel up to it, I can call Blaine and reschedule our park excursion this afternoon-"

"I'm fine," Sebastian whispered.

Obviously, Kurt deducted. You sound like if a feather landed in the right way, you'd shatter into a million pieces.

Sebastian's stomach started making noise and Kurt thought it was worth a shot. "Why don't we grab something to eat on the way home?"

Sebastian shook his head. "Not hungry."

Kurt tried insistency. His hand had been resting over the taller boy's, but he pulled it away to gesture dramatically. "No, seriously, there's this really good bakery Blaine showed me…"

Sebastian murmured, "I don't want anything."

Kurt knew he had skipped breakfast completely, not to mention the few meager bites Carole had managed to coax him into eating earlier that day. He was beginning to genuinely worry. "Please, Seb, you're not eating and it's scaring me."

"Please, Kurt," he still couldn't make out his expression but he sounded like he was about to breakdown. "I'm just… not hungry, okay?"

Kurt wanted to stop the car and grabbed Sebastian's face between his hands and list all of the extensive reasons as to why it was not okay, but he realized of all the times to force him into something, after his counseling session was probably the worst time he could pick. "Okay."

Once they finally got back to the apartment, Sebastian sat on his make shift bed in Kurt's bedroom for some alone time while Kurt talked to Carole in the kitchen.

"He's scaring me," Kurt whispered, careful to keep his voice low enough to remain undetected to Sebastian, just in case he was listening. "He hasn't been eating. He woke up a couple times last night, although I'm not sure whether he had nightmares again or was just sleepless. Not to even mention how… fragile he's gotten."

"Kurt, you have to calm down. He needs to start eating, but the other stuff is expected."

"I know, I just… I'm doing everything I can, and sometimes-" He swatted at his eyes. He was sure as hell not going to start crying. "I just don't know what to do."

"Just be there."

"I'm not even sure that he wants me there."

She laughs. "You and your father… what am I going to do with you too? Honey, if he didn't want you there, he would've told you. Sebastian has the least amount of self-restraint when it comes to his words that I've ever witnessed."

It was true. "Fine. Speaking of the meerkat, he has a check-up scheduled for tomorrow morning, but I'm going to see if I can push it back or change it to later tonight. They just want to check on his bruises and stitches."

She nodded. "Alright. I'm going to go put on some warmer clothes. Blaine should be here any minute."

"I'll go tell Seb," Kurt pulled his own coat off of the wall and realized he would probably need to get Seb one at some point soon. His sweatshirts wouldn't keep him warm in this weather.

He glanced at his watch. Blaine would be there in fifteen. He could pull an impromptu trip to one of the shops near the park and meet Carole and Blaine there.

Once he thought of it, there was no way he wasn't going through with the idea. He loved shopping anyway, but this was a genuine reason for it. Plus Seb could probably use some gloves too…

"Sebastian!"

The lanky boy poked his head through the curtain separating Kurt's bedroom from the general area.

"We're going shopping." Sebastian opened his mouth in a combination of shock and protest but Kurt hushed him with a raising of his hand. "No arguing. You need a winter jacket and I'm not going to let you freeze."

Sebastian's face turned red. "I'm fine."

Kurt was taken aback by his reaction. Almost like he was embarrassed over being shopped for. "'Bas, I'm not going to let you walk around Washington Square Park in a hoodie. Come on, I promise we'll be quick. If we take longer than fifteen minutes. Carole and Blaine will come and rescue you."

"Do I have to?" Sebastian grimaced at the idea of letting Princess shop for him. He'd probably come out looking like a cross-dressing Lady Gaga.

Kurt just glared and Sebastian rolled his eyes and pulled a sweater on over his button down.

"I'll text you from whatever store we stop by," Kurt murmured as he motioned Seb out the door. "See you Carole."

She nodded but Kurt could tell her mind was also on Sebastian's sudden attitude change.

He grabbed a taxi and tried to ignore the awkward silence. Sebastian was sitting up straight, his hands rubbing up and down his arms.

"Are you cold?" Kurt could tell the cab was chilly, but he didn't consider how cold it was for Sebastian.

He shook his head. "I think I'm allergic to your laundry detergent." He was scratching almost pitifully.

"Are you sure?"

"I didn't start itching until I put on this sweater that Carole washed for me."

"You mean to tell me you didn't wash your other clothes after you bought them?" Kurt couldn't imagine wearing clothes after you bought them. Strangers could have tried them on… Hygiene-phobic strangers…

Seb was trying to itch the middle of his back but even his long arms couldn't get to it.

"Here," Kurt didn't even think twice before softly scratching over Sebastian's back. He felt his muscles tighten up in surprise before he relaxed into the touch.

"Thanks," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

Kurt offered a smile and tried not to cringe at how he could feel Sebastian's protruding spine beneath his fingertips, his fingernails softly scraping over the ridges. He could feel the warmth of Sebastian's back through the thin shirt and sweater; the rise and fall of his lungs as he breathed.

Kurt didn't stop until they reached the stretch of shops by the park. Sebastian didn't complain and if anything, seemed to have enjoyed the distraction from his skin's irritation.

As soon as they got out of the vehicle, Sebastian began shivering. Kurt couldn't tell whether it was from the cold, or the social setting, but he hurriedly pulled Sebastian toward one of his favorite shops.

It was small and quaint; modestly small and owned by a French family. Kurt had to remind himself to focus on Sebastian and not look at anything that might further drain his limited finances.

"Alright, let's get you a coat and a pair of gloves," Kurt looked Sebastian over and tried to think over which kind of coat would flatter Seb's build and appearance.

"Can I help you?" One of the daughters walked over and asked. Kurt had seen her at the shop before, but only once or twice.

"Absolutely." Kurt quickly explained his situation and was grateful to be in the one store where the staff was close to as knowledgeable on fashion as he was himself.

She rushed to the back of the store and returned with an armful of jackets for the taller boy to try on.

Kurt already knew which one would look the best, but he let Sebastian try all of them on anyway. The last one, a slimming black coat with a thick layer of black wool was perfect. Kurt restrained from gushing over it, not wanting to draw any more attention to Sebastian. His face was already reddening.

Kurt was surprised at how little he enjoyed the spotlight. Sebastian used to be someone who would do anything for attention. Now it seemed as though he avoided it like the plague.

Sebastian dared to glance up at himself in the mirror momentarily. He hated mirrors, but he did want to make sure this high fashion whatever store Kurt dragged him into didn't dress him like a clown. He only let his eyes drift to his torso, and was pleasantly surprised. He didn't look ridiculous.

"This one is perfect!" Kurt looked up at Sebastian hopefully. Sebastian offered a slight smile and nod. "We'll take it! I also need a pair of gloves…"

Kurt and the girl walked off to where the gloves were while Sebastian slipped out of the jacket.

"I hate to be incredibly nosy, but what happened to him?" The girl asked, her expression subtle and voice low.

Kurt knew it was inevitable, Sebastian's swollen eye and jaw had turned a rotten hue of purple and he still had stitches lining the side of his face. Kurt would've been curious. "An accident."

"Ouch," she cringed. "Alright, here are all the gloves we have in stock. Some of them aren't that high end or attractive-"

"That most certainly will not be a problem." Kurt said as Sebastian joined them, the jacket folded under his arm. "He's not the fashion appreciating type."

She smiled. "Not everyone is. I can ring that up for you real quick while you pick out gloves so you can put it on. It's freezing out there."

Sebastian handed it to her and she ran off to the register.

"I'm guessing you would be a large. Since every other part of you is freakishly huge, I have the feeling your hands are no exception…"

Sebastian decided against making a joke about his genitals. "Not everyone can be small and dainty like you Princess."

"Ah, the meerkat speaks," Kurt smirked. "And who are you calling small? I'm only a few inches shorter than you."

He chuckled. "Why don't you get the white silk ones?" He motioned with his head. "They're perfect for your coronation."

Kurt smacked him lightly on the arm. "You are aware you are probably the biggest pain to shop with ever, right?"

He nodded with a smile.

"Then start trying on gloves so we can go meet Blaine and Carole."

Sebastian easily picked out a thick leather pair and dragged Kurt away before he could try to buy something for himself.

Once they left the store, Sebastian was happy to realize that the gloves and coat actually did keep him warm. He hadn't had a coat that did that in forever. It was wonderful.

They crossed the street and walked into the park, the air instantly clearing so that the smell of burnt rubber, gasoline, and other delightful city odors weren't so over powering.

They sat down on a bench as Kurt checked his phone for any texts from Blaine or Carole.

Carole said they would be a little late, an accident had clogged up the road.

The park was surprisingly empty, so Kurt took advantage of the seclusion and quiet to ask something that had been clawing at the back of his mind. "Hey, 'Bas?"

"Hmm?"

"When you were in the hospital, why did they let Blaine and I see you? We're not family."

He could feel the blood rushing to his face. "Most of my family is in France so I just lied and said you both were cousins."

"What about your parents?"

All the blood seemed to change its destination and he paled. "We aren't exactly… close. The last thing I wanted was for them to find out about this."

Kurt could tell there was way more to this then they weren't close. "Why? It's not like you asked for Danny to do what he did."

"They would've said I did."

Kurt could feel a theory forming. "They don't approve of you, do they?"

He laughed softly and rubbed his hands over the back of his neck. This was the last thing he wanted to talk about right now. "If by me, you mean my preference of dick over vagina, yeah."

"So what do you do during the holidays then?"

He shrugged. "We just stayed in the apartment."

"Do you have any siblings?"

He wished Kurt would stop. His hands were beginning to shake and he could feel his thoughts rushing around inside his skull like a caffeinated chipmunk. "An older brother. We aren't close either."

They sat in silence until Blaine and Carole arrived, the wind rushing along the trees and the buildings surrounding them.

Kurt knew there was nothing he could do. He couldn't just snap his fingers and make everything better. But dear God how he wanted to.

The quartet held friendly chit chat and weaved among the trees and concrete pathways, the recent problems melting away for a few seconds at a time.

Sebastian knew what was happening. He was enjoying himself. Something he hadn't been able to do for so long. Danny always tearing anything that made him happy from his life.

Kurt's nose was turning bright red from the cold kissing it and Sebastian felt his smile getting just a little bit bigger.

A jogger shoved past them and in their rush, almost knocked both of them to the ground before shouting out a word Sebastian didn't ever want to hear again.

The word his dad would scream in his ear went he was beating him, during the wee hours of the morning as the belt rained down mercilessly on his back. The word his brother would whisper in scorn whenever he'd see him in public. The word that made his mom flinch as though she had been slapped.

The word that had driven him to what he had been in high school and what he was now.

"-Goddammit son! Do you always have to be such a fucking fag-"

"No."

"-You know why dad hates you Sebastian? Because you're a fag-"

"No!"

"Seb? What is it?" He could feel a gloved hand caressing his bicep and gently leading him to a bench.

"-If you weren't always acting like a fag, I wouldn't have to hurt you-"

"I'm sorry! Please, please," He dug the heels of his palms into his eye sockets and could feel his tear ducts leaking. This wasn't the place for a breakdown. What was wrong with him?

"'Bas, look at me," Kurt placed his hand beneath the lanky boy's chin and lifted it so they were looking eye to eye. Pieces of his heart were breaking away a chip at a time, the dejected look coating Seb's face making it hard for him to keep himself together. "What is it?"

He wiped at his eyes and tried to look down again, but Kurt's hand wouldn't move. "Nothing, nothing. I'm fine."

"Do you want to go home?"

Sebastian shook his head ferociously. "No, no. I just- I just need a minute."

Kurt looked over at his stepmother and his ex-boyfriend. "We'll catch up."

Blaine nodded in understanding and Carole offered him a sad smile.

Kurt took both of Sebastian's trembling hands in his own and felt Sebastian tense up before relaxing. "What's wrong?"

He blinked a few times. "What that jogger said-"

Kurt's face softened. "You know it's not true, right? Whoever called you it, they were just spewing bullshit."

He swallowed. "I can't believe I'm breaking down like this in a park."

"We don't have to stay-"

"That's the problem." Sebastian's voice was so low Kurt had to strain to hear him. "I don't want to go back to the apartment. I want to be able to go on a walk in a park in New York without having a breakdown because some homophobic asshole calls me a name. I want to be normal again Kurt, and I don't know how."

Kurt pulled the taller boy against him and felt as Sebastian's body shook. He rubbed his hands over his jutting shoulder blades and pressed his cheek against his hair. "And you'll be able to do that one day. But 'Bas, you need to give yourself time to heal. To recover from what he did to you. And I promise you, screw that, I swear to you. I will be there for you every freaking step of the way."

Sebastian knew Kurt couldn't see his face, but he smiled at that.

Life certainly wasn't playing out the way he had imagined it would. His childhood, all those nights at Scandals, Danny, and all the other shit life had chucked at him. Uncertainty was most certainly not his favorite thing about life.

Actually, maybe it wasn't that bad. Sure, surprises had almost always been bad for him, but he did get one good wild card: the boy holding him right now. He knew that he had thought the same thing when he had been held in the arms of his future abuser but he knew this time was different. Kurt would never hurt him. And despite his notorious ways, he knew he would never hurt Kurt.

He felt a happy tear, one of bliss, fall down his nose and onto Kurt's shoulder. He could actually do this. He could shove Danny behind him and find someone to love him.

And maybe. Just maybe, he could be loved by someone like Princess.

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I know, I know! These two just need to get a grip and make out. And it's coming! Soon, I hope. Why must they both be so difficult?! Anyway, review, favorite, follow and all that jazz. Reviews make me update quicker and encourage me to write longer chapters more often!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

~Ann