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Edward (POV)

I had hoped that when I found the one I loved, life would get easier. That was not the case. I felt horrible, confused, and so alone. I didn't understand how I could have loved Bella all these years and not have known. How was that possible? What I assumed were feelings of friendship were really of love. Now all those weird feelings made sense; I could identify them now.

I was so angry at myself for introducing Bella to Jacob – they were so happy together, it was sickening. Due to my loneliness, I clung to Tanya, making her very happy. I didn't like staying at home anymore; whether it was to an empty home or one where Bella was there, happily moving around, blissfully unaware of my newfound feelings for her.

To my dismay, Tanya was all I had, even though it mentally and physically pained me to be with her. Mentally because I didn't love her, and physically because it was like my body knew she wasn't the one I should be with.

It was all so maddening.

I was getting ready for another day of work when I heard a knock at my already opened door. I turned my head to see Bella, standing with her arms crossed and her mile-long legs spread far apart; it was her angry stance.

I gulped.

"What the hell, Edward? I know for a fucking fact that you're avoiding me. You've even gone to the point that you're skipping our Sunday bonding days! Is Tanya so important that I get pushed back? What happened? I used to be a major part of your life." Bella's face turned from angry to glum during her rant, her voice going softer and softer as the words came out of her mouth.

I was left speechless because I could not tell her the real reason I was ignoring her. The only option I had was to lie. I sighed as I tried to think of a lie that would sound reasonable, believable. None came to mind.

"Well?" Bella muttered impatiently.

Think of something!

"I, uh, I've been ignoring you because, well, I want to practice." The words sounded stupid even to my ears. Bella looked at me quizzically, possibly wondering if I went crazy over night.

Who knows, maybe I have.

"Practice?" she questioned slowly. I could tell by her annoyed expression that she didn't believe my lie, meaning I had to lie better.

"I've just been thinking lately that we're not going to be together forever – you're going to go your way, and I'm going to go mine. Eventually we aren't going to live together, so we won't spend as much time together." Internally, I flinched at my words because I knew they were true. I continued. "So I thought that maybe I should practice not being around you, so when the time comes, I will sort of be used to not having you around."

Bella shook her head; the sadness in her eyes showed me she was not pleased. In fast, large strides, Bella walked up to me, and then she hugged me tightly. I enjoyed the feel of her body against mine, but I shouldn't have. Pushing those thoughts aside, I hugged her to me, pulling her firmly against my body – where she belonged. I pressed my cheek on her head, my skin feeling the silk of her hair.

I never wanted this to end.

"You're an idiot," she murmured against my chest. I didn't bother asking why; I knew I was an idiot. "You don't need to practice being away from me. Fuck, I'm going to be around you even when we're both married, and even when we both have snot-nosed babies. I wouldn't be surprised if we lived next door to each other. Wouldn't it be great if our kids were best friends?"

"It would be great," I whispered.

"So no more practicing, alright? Fucker, you scared me," Bella admitted as she removed herself from my embrace.

I so badly wanted to tell her that I loved her, but I couldn't do that to her. It wouldn't be fair to put her in that position because I already knew that she didn't love me. Telling her how I felt would only lead to heartbreak. I didn't think I could handle that.

"Well, I have to go to work," I said, looking at my watch.

Bella nodded, a small smile on her face. "Just so you know, I'm taking you to lunch today. Don't even try to get out of it because you owe me some fucking quality time, bastard. You really hurt my feelings, Edward. That isn't cool."

"Fine, I'll let you take me to lunch." I smiled because, although spending time with her would just assure me of my feelings for her, I had missed her. Even before my realization, Bella was my everything. I didn't know how I was going to handle watching her live her life when I would only be a minor part of it. Her future husband and children would become her everything, and I would be left in the dust, watching her live the life I so badly wanted to share with her.

Bella laughed, the sound bringing a wider smile to my lips. "When I said I was taking you to lunch, I meant I was picking you up and taking you somewhere, but you're paying!"

"Fine." I chuckled.

We said our goodbyes and left for work.

8~*~8

"Hey, Edward," Jacob greeted, being his annoyingly happy self. He just stood there, in my office, completely unaware of the anguish he brought to my life.

"Hello, Jacob," I replied in a bored tone. I wasn't going to pretend I liked him. Sure, once upon a time I really did enjoy his company, but that was before he started dating my girl.

"So, man, what's up? How's your love life?" he asked. It was obvious that he wasn't there for business reasons, which would have been the only way I could have handled talking to him. It was like he secretly knew I loved Bella, and he wanted to toy with my emotions, to flaunt that he had her and I didn't.

"It's fine," I answered simply, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing that my love life was a complete and utter wreck.

He looked at me incredulously. "Your love life is just fine? What's the deal there?"

I was getting more and more annoyed by his presence with every word that came out of his mouth. "It's nothing really. I don't want to talk about it, to tell you the truth." I hoped that would stop the questions. I doubted that he would take it well if he knew I was in love with his girlfriend.

He nodded, and his face showed he understood that we weren't close enough to be discussing personal things like that. At least on my end, but Jacob had no problem talking about his personal issues.

"I need to tell you something, because I need your advice. My friends would just make fun of me or tell me to stop being such a chicken shit."

"Go on," I said, my voice showing that I wasn't interested in the slightest, but of course that didn't deter him.

"I'm in love with Bella! Whoa, it feels good to finally say it." I stared at him in shock. My mind raced with horrible thoughts and my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. Bella had told me that they were falling in love, but here comes Jacob, suddenly happy as could be, saying that he was fully in love. Did Bella love Jacob the way he loved her? If she did, I might have lost her sooner than I thought. Soon they would move in together, he would propose, she'd say yes, and they'd get married, have children, and grow old together. He would live the life I could only dream of.

"Why do you need advice?" I whispered for I was still in shock.

"I need help on deciding how to tell her. I mean, do I do it out of the blue, or do I say it in a romantic setting, or should I do it after we kiss, or-"

"I don't know, Jacob. Do it when you feel it's best," I muttered angrily.

"Oh, I know!" He stood up abruptly, a wide smile firmly on his face, somehow not noticing my furious expression. "Thanks man. I'll talk to you later." He left the room a happy man, but I was definitely not happy.

I clenched my fist, shut my eyes tightly, and I tried to calm my breathing while simultaneously trying to hold back the bile that threatened to come up my throat. I didn't know why my heart continued to beat since it was in so much pain, but it kept me alive.

8~*~8

"Hey, Edward. How has your day been?" Bella questioned when I got into her car.

"Fine," I answered as she drove to an unknown location.

"You've been saying that word a lot lately," she observed. It was true though; I just didn't feel like saying I'd had a great day because I hadn't. My day had been horrendous. "Jacob told me you're having a bad day."

So he had noticed everything. Then why would he ignore it and then tattletale on me later? My dislike for him grew, but I tried not to let it show when I spoke of him. "Oh, I'm sure Jacob just misunderstood me. Work has been getting pretty stressful lately, and things with Tanya aren't so great either."

"Getting sick of her?" Bella laughed, but her voice was shaky, and her hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"Yea, it's just not going to work out." We got to the restaurant, a small-diner like place, and we got out of the car and walked inside. We were immediately seated since there weren't too many people, and once we sat down, I continued to talk about my relationship problems.

"In a way, I knew from the beginning it wasn't going to last, but I had badly wanted to make it last. I'm getting old, Bella. I'm running out of time. But I'm breaking up with her, I'm just not sure how – she doesn't act the way other girls do."

"How does she act?" she asked after we gave our orders to the waitress.

"To put it simply, she overreacts."

She nodded, but I could tell she wanted to say something. When she felt confident enough, she said, "There is something you need to know about Tanya, she – "

She was interrupted by the waitress bringing our Cokes. When the waitress left, I encouraged Bella to finish what she was saying.

"Oh, never mind. It's not important . . . you are dumping her, right?"

I nodded. "I plan on it."

She sighed in relief, and then we talked about casual subjects until our food arrived. In the middle of the meal, I blurted out, "Did you tell Jacob about the kiss?"

Bella looked at me, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. Then her eyes closed tightly as she slowly shook her head. "No, and I don't plan to."

"Why?"

"Edward, we both know it was a mistake. It could have seriously ruined the friendship we have – something I never want to lose. After the kiss I decided that I would treat it like it never happened. Besides, what good would it do if I told Jake? He would probably freak out and then that would affect the friendship you guys have. I just . . . I just don't see why I should tell him."

"Are you in love with Jacob?" I don't know why I asked, or why it was still in my mind, but in a way I was glad I did – I had to know.

Bella looked at me curiously, wondering why I asked such a question so abruptly. After the initial shock wore off, she sighed and looked out the window next to our table. We stayed silent for a couple of minutes, and I wondered if Bella was bothered by me asking such a thing. I couldn't tell if her silence was a confirmation of her love for him or a denial.

"I don't love him," she muttered, causing relief to run through me. The sadness in her voice, however caused all the good feelings in me to disperse. It was then that I saw how selfish I was being. Bella was my best friend. I should have wanted her to be happy, and I did, but since I was selfish, I wanted her to be happy with me.

"Why not?" She looked at me then, and I nearly gasped at the sight of so many conflicting emotions in her deep brown eyes.

"That's the thing – I don't know why! I want to love him, and it's not that I don't trust him, but I just can't seem to give him my heart . . . well, at least not all of it. I don't understand why, though. Loving Jake would be so easy. He is everything I could ever want, but it's like there is a brick wall that I can't get through. I just wish I knew what that obstacle was so I could get over it."

"What if Jacob told you he loved you?" I asked, using what I had learned earlier to see how she would react.

Bella visibly paled. "While I would be so happy, I would also be devastated because I wouldn't be able to say it back. I won't lie to him, because it would just hurt more if he found out my feelings weren't genuine."

She was right of course, and I couldn't help but feel bad for Jacob. I understood how it felt to love Bella and have her not love you back. It was a painful emotion that no amount of words could truly describe.

Both of us desperately wanted to move on to lighter subjects, so we did. The rest of our lunch was filled with laughter and smiles; there was no more talk of love or Jacob. Not a lot of time had passed before Bella was dropping me off at work. We said our goodbyes and she drove off, leaving me wondering how everything was going to work out.

Bella (POV)

I was glad that Edward and I had had lunch together, it's just that I didn't expect for us to reach such deep subjects. I didn't want to talk about my inability to love Jacob; I wanted to fucking forget about it, but no – my mind refused to dismiss it. When Edward asked me if I loved Jake, every bad feeling I had about it crashed onto my body like a wave. I was painfully aware of my dilemma – what girl would have problems falling in love with Jacob? For whatever reason, I just couldn't. I wanted to, God how I wanted to, but something was stopping me. Everything would be so much easier if I knew what it was.

But I didn't want to dwell on it. I parked in my reserved spot and I walked into my restaurant.

Taking out my phone, I called Rosalie.

"What do you want?" she asked, hostility coating her words. Rosalie was nice when she wanted to be, and she was a great friend, but sometimes her bitchy ways got irritating. I wasn't one to talk since I wasn't the nicest person either, but what the hell?

"What's up your ass?"

I heard her sigh before she said, "Alice is driving me crazy! She just won't stop!"

I opened the door to my office and stepped inside. "She won't stop what?" I asked as I placed my purse on my desk. I sat down and turned on my computer; I had paperwork and emails that I needed to tend to. Rosalie began to tell me how they had just gotten this big shot client, who could also bring a lot of other big shots to their business, so Alice was doing everything in her power to make sure their wedding was perfect. The amount of work they were doing for a single case was driving Rosalie insane.

"And we're totally neglecting our other clients!" she screamed in frustration. Alice tended to put a hundred and ten percent when it came to her job. Sometimes Rose could keep up and sometimes she couldn't. I would have loved for Rosalie to work for me, but honestly, the girl couldn't cook to save her life. If it weren't for take-out, Emmett would have died of starvation.

"I agree with you, Rose. One client shouldn't be more important than the others, no matter how much more money she has."

"That's exactly what I told her! But you know what she said? She said, 'I'm not treating her better, I'm just putting more effort into her wedding.' Can you believe that?"

"Want me to talk to her?" I suggested, sensing that Alice needed some sense knocked into her.

Rosalie sighed in relief. "Please! Maybe she'll listen to you."

I laughed. "Okay, oh! Before I forget, we can drop the whole Tanya thing."

"Why?" Rosalie asked, slightly annoyed. When I asked her to do research on Tanya, she went all out. I now knew Tanya's grades in all her years in school, that she didn't finish college (for unknown reasons), that she had been married once, and that her husband had disappeared.

"Edward's dumping her! Isn't that great?"

All I heard was silence on the other end of the line. I looked at my phone to make sure that we hadn't been disconnected, but it showed that she was still on. I said her name several times, but she never responded.

I was going to hang up when she said, "You, Alice, and I need to talk tonight. We'll come before you close up." With that, she hung up, leaving me speechless.

8~*~8

The place was deserted when I got the text message from Alice saying they were at the restaurant. All my employees were gone, and so were any customers. I made sure to lock up everything except the front door, so when it was time to leave, I would be able to depart quickly.

For some fucking reason, Rosalie and Alice always had me open the door for them, even when it was clearly unlocked. I swear they were such spoiled princesses. I rolled my eyes, because they would just wear that title proudly instead of being offended.

"I told you guys the door was open," I said, letting them in.

"I like watching your aggravated face when you open the door," Alice said happily, being her usual upbeat self.

"Yeah, well one of these days, I'm not going to open the door and I will leave your asses out here to freeze." I led them to the only table that still had the chairs down, and then we sat down and got comfortable.

"Where's the wine, Bella?" Rosalie asked, looking at the empty table with disdain.

"Oh fuck, I forgot. Hold on," I told them as I rushed to my office where I had set down the wine after I picked it out. Walking back to the table, I could clearly hear Rose and Alice arguing about something that was probably stupid. They fought about the most stupid shit sometimes.

"Would you guys shut up, please?" I shouted, aggravated.

"Well, we wouldn't be fighting if Rosalie wasn't such a snot," Alice said, crossing her arms as she jerked her head to the side to avoid Rose's glare.

"Oh, I'm the snot now? Bella, we discussed this! Talk to her!" Rosalie demanded, her fist hitting the table to get Alice's attention. As soon as I opened my mouth, Alice glared at me, challenging me to say anything to her. I could take her on, so I wasn't worried.

"From what I heard, I think that you need to slow down and spend some time on your other clients and other work duties." I looked at Alice when I said this. "I know that this person could bring a lot of money and business for you, but you can't neglect everyone else. How would you feel if you hired someone to do something but they half-assed it because someone with more money asked them to do something? You'd be pissed, and you'd tell them off! Listen, I don't know about the whole wedding planning business, but think about what you're doing because your job affects a lot of people."

Alice sighed and nodded, clearly ashamed of her actions.

"What happened to the girl who wanted to make other people's dreams come true, huh? Where is the girl who wanted to make sure that every girl she worked for got her dream wedding?"

"She's right here," Alice said quietly. Rosalie sat next to her with a smug smile on her face, but I quickly kicked her under the table.

"Ow!"

"And you, Rose, you need to suck it up and do your job. I know that you might not care about other people's dreams, but getting married is a big part of someone's life and they need your help to make sure things run smoothly. Can you do that?"

"Yes," she said glumly.

"Okay, so that's that, now let's move on to why we're here."

Alice rolled her eyes; it was obvious she didn't agree with us when it came to Tanya, but she was here, listening to our theories and offering her comments and thoughts. I appreciated it.

"Bella, Tanya is seriously bad news. Bitch is crazy," Rose said.

Alice shook her head. "No she's not, Rose. Sure, she's a little rough around the edges and kind of creepy, but she seems nice."

"Exactly, she seems nice," I said, smirking at her. "Fess up, Alice. You don't trust her either." Rose and I waited for her to admit it, because we could tell she didn't like Tanya as much as she would like to.

"She's…she's…I don't like her! You happy?" Alice shouted, quickly grabbing one of the wine glasses I had put on the table. She drank her wine and pouted, angry that she'd admitted that Tanya bugged her too. Alice liked to be the voice of reason when it came to our theories, and even though we wrong sometimes, sometimes we were right, just like now.

"Finally. But Bella, I'm worried," Rose admitted, drinking from her own wine glass. Feeling left out, I grabbed my glass and filled it up, taking a drink shortly after.

"Worried about what? Edward is dumping her, meaning there's nothing to fear." I shrugged, seeing no problem.

"Bella, haven't you seen a scary movie?" Rose asked, looking at me like I was the biggest idiot she'd ever seen. I was about to give her a piece of my mind when Alice spoke up.

"Where are you going with this, Rosalie? Edward is breaking up with her, doesn't that solve our problem?" Rosalie rolled her eyes and huffed in annoyance. She thought we were both idiots who didn't get her superior mind.

"Why don't you guys see the issue? Ugh, in every movie, what happens when the guy breaks up with the girl? A psycho girl to be exact?"

"She cracks and goes after him . . . Oh my gosh! I get it now!" Alice shouted, but I was still clueless. Apparently it showed on my face, because they both looked at each other with smirks on their faces.

"Okay, let's say this slowly, Rose." Rose nodded, smiling as she waited for Alice to speak again. "Tanya, as you say, is crazy, yes?" I nodded, still not getting it.

"Well what do you think is going to happen when Edward breaks up with her, knowing what kind of person she is?" I thought about it, and then I gasped as realization hit me. Once Edward broke up with Tanya, she would go even more bat-shit than she already was. Fuck, what if she did something to him?

"I think she finally got it." Alice smiled.

"Shit, guys, but what can we do? I don't want them together, but by the looks of things, it's not safe to have them apart." Things had gotten complicated. I knew, deep inside me, that something was off about Tanya, but I didn't know how much was wrong with her. Was she just a bitch who loved my best friend or was she a girl who was seriously fucked up in the head? A bitch I could handle, but someone insane? I wasn't so sure.

Alice took another sip of her wine, her facial expression turning stern as she thought. Rosalie was the same way and soon we were all thinking.

I didn't trust Tanya, I didn't like her, and I especially didn't want her around. She did a good job acting like she was perfect, like there wasn't something sinister going on in that pretty little head of hers, but I saw through it – she showed me that she wasn't what she seemed. I wasn't sure if she was dangerous, but I got this bad feeling every time she was around; my instincts didn't like her so why should I?

Edward was so important to me, I'd be damned if I would let strawberry shortcake mess with him or hurt him in any shape or form. I deeply regretted giving Edward my approval. I was his best friend, and I had to protect him, but look what I'd done. I practically granted him permission to date danger. Something in me told me that Tanya wouldn't have cared if I didn't give him permission, but I did make it easier for her – easier for her to get her hands on Edward. I would always regret that.

"Who knows, "Alice said, "maybe we're just overreacting. I know for a fact that Tanya will get upset, but I doubt she'd do anything besides tell him off or slap him." Alice was trying to assure us, to give us security, and let us think that there was no possibility something would happen to Edward. But it was hard to believe her when my gut told me to watch out.

Rosalie looked hesitant to speak, but after she sighed, she asked, "What if he disappears like Tanya's ex husband?" My heart felt like it had been ripped out.

"Don't you dare say things like that!" I screamed, my breath coming out in pants. I couldn't lose Edward; he was my world, and he was what kept me grounded.

"Bella…" Alice tried to say, but I shut her up when I held up my hand.

"I can't lose him; I fucking won't! Fuck Tanya, she'd have to go through me! She'd have to kill me before she even came close to harming him!" I didn't know why I felt so angry, so scared. Edward was my best friend, so of course I would feel protective of him, but my feelings were too strong and too powerful. Did friends feel this way about each other?

Of course I felt this way because of friendship, what other reason was there? A thought crossed my mind, but I didn't dare think too much about it; it was a dangerous thought, one that could change everything I thought I knew about my relationship with Edward.

After a while, I calmed down, and soon after I was being embraced by Rose and Alice. They didn't question my breakdown, and I was very grateful, but I noticed them exchange knowing glances, like they knew something I was oblivious to.

"Sorry about that," I said, wiping away my tears. I suddenly felt embarrassed by my breakdown – I didn't like anyone seeing me cry or be weak.

"I'm glad you let it out," Alice told me, patting me on the shoulder.

We talked some more, and we all decided that we would wait for Edward to dump Tanya and we'd see if we had to worry about her reaction. When Alice asked Rosalie to stop looking into Tanya's past, Rosalie refused. She told us that she felt she was onto something, and she wouldn't rest until she discovered more about her. "Know your enemy," she had said.

When I had locked the front door and my office, I went and hugged Rosalie goodbye, and then she got into Alice's Porsche. When I hugged Alice, I noticed she trembled in my arms, but her arms were wrapped tightly around me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried that my breakdown was causing her to break down, too.

"Just be careful, Bella. I don't know why, but I'm just so worried about you. Take care of yourself." That was all she said before she got into her car and drove off, leaving me in the parking lot.

I could feel it; several things were going to happen, things that would threaten to tear my world apart.

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