Title: The Longest Day
Chapter 11 – A Few Steps Back?

"Wait…gone? Gone where?" Danny asked with a panicked tone. "Did he…gone where?"

"I don't honestly know. He…I told him he should resign. I mean…we just lost…and he's my only son and…I'm…no I'm sorry, I shouldn't be going on like this. He said he had to go for a walk. I was out…I got home and he left a note."

"Okay thank you. I'll…try his cell number," Danny answered glumly as he hung up and then looked down at his phone. Can't blame him for wanting to quit…first day and it's one of the darkest in recent history and he…he saw people die…innocent people…Danny's mind mused as he leaned back on the bed, unaware of what was going on outside his room.

But he didn't want Sam to give up just yet, so he dialed his cell number once more and then listened. This time, however, an odd ringing was heard – coming from outside his doorway.

"What the….hell…" he stated with a pause as Sam's face appeared in the doorway. "Hey…"

"Sorry to intrude but…well I was out for a walk and…should I go?"

"No way come in…otherwise I'll have to entertain my siblings," he added dryly as Sam's face creased into a tense smile. "I talked to your mom."

"Was she all freaked out?"

"Yeah a little. But understandable," Danny assured the younger man.

"She went on and on last night about accounting openings," Sam groaned as he slumped down into a nearby chair and then looked at Danny with quiet despair.

"I get it. She's feeling the same as so many right now. No one wants to lose someone they love. My mom looked up construction jobs for me when I came back from each tour."

"And when you told her you wanted to be a cop."

"At first she just looked at me and said nothing. Then she said…

'I should blame your father, but I'd be lying if I said I was surprised this is the profession you've chosen. You know I'll worry but I promised him I would say my piece and not harp.'

"And that was it?"

Danny looked up at the doorway and waited for a few seconds before he looked back at Sam with a heavy frown. "She still worries. Course she does. I'd be lying if I said she didn't. And I'm sure she wants to bring up the construction gig again…especially because my brother Joe now wants to be a cop."

"He does?" Sam asked in surprise as Danny nodded.

"Yeah…he doesn't talk to mom about it much but he talks to me and dad about it and grandpa of course."

"You're lucky you have so many people backing you. I have…well just me."

"And me. Don't I count for something?" Danny retorted with a small smile as Sam nodded in haste. "And of course the whole force of the NYPD."

"Think…think many of them are from single parent families?"

"Probably more than you know," Danny answered softly as he slightly shifted and then looked up to see Sam watching him intently. "Wanna see the scar?"

"Yeah," Sam answered eagerly as Danny couldn't help but chuckle and slowly lift his white tee-shirt. "Oh…my…" his voice died out as he looked at the black webbing on Danny's abdomen and then sucked in his breath. "Does it still hurt?"

"Only when I stretch and twist the wrong way," Danny confessed as he pulled his shirt down and then shifted back to a comfortable position. "I know your mom is worried but…but I don't think you should give up just yet."

"I just don't want to let her down," Sam sighed as he looked back down at his tightly folded hands. "When my old man ran out on us I…I told her I'd always take care of her. Can't do that when I'm dead right?"

"No…no you can't but I doubt she'd want you to just sit at home and mope or do something you don't want to do," Danny told Sam in truth as Sam looked up with mournful brown eyes. "The 11th was a horrible day."

"I keep seeing her face…she calls out to me but I… I just stand there. I don't help her and…I can't help her."

"You couldn't help her," Danny reasoned as Sam's lips purse. "You said you couldn't get there in time."

"I…I couldn't but you…"

"Don't compare yourself to me," Danny interjected quickly. "Had I listened like I was supposed to I'd be down there right now searching for survivors instead of sitting here cursing my stubbornness."

"Wish I knew what to do."

"Just don't rush into something okay?" Danny asked as Sam slowly nodded. "So…you wanna stay for dinner?"

"Wow thanks but…but I should get home and see my mom. She's probably worried and put out an APB already," Sam slightly smirked.

"Okay. So just…come by anytime okay? I'll be laid up here for a while."

"Okay," Sam nodded with an easier smile as they both slowly stood up and headed out of Danny's bedroom, toward the front door of the Reagan home. "Thanks Danny…I just needed to talk."

"Anytime," Danny reassured Sam as he patted him on the back.

Danny watched Sam slowly head toward his small pickup truck and then wave as he pulled away and turned back to see his mother looking at him with a tender smile. "He…he just needed to vent."

"I think that young man needs you as much as you need him."

"Pardon?" Danny arched his brows as he slowly limped toward his mother. "No he just…I'm fine," Danny insisted as he slowly hobbled toward the kitchen at his mother's urging.

"He needs someone to look up to right now…after all that and with no father in his life he needs someone he can trust and look up to. That's you honey."

"Me…I just told him some stuff dad told me."

"And that's why he needs you," Mary smiled as her hand lifted and touched her son's cheek. "And I think you need to keep encouraging him because you're really encouraging yourself."

"That's…" Danny started and then stopped as his mother's brows arched. "I wanna see him succeed with the NYPD and I hafta stay to see that right?"

"Right. Now come into the kitchen and I'll make you something to eat."

XXXXXXXX

"How's Danny?" Henry asked as he watched his son enter the quieter command center.

"Stuck at home and miserable."

"Can't blame him," Henry quipped as he looked at his son in concern. "How are you?"

"Fine. So what hav…"

"Francis…how are you?"

"Better today but not as good as tomorrow."

"Not fair."

"One of your best lines pop," Frank lightly smirked. "Well…I think we've identified most of our 23 killed in action and I just heard from Chief Cunningham from the port Authority and they have given us the 37 names of those killed."

"Okay," Henry replied as he took the piece of paper from his son and looked at the list of names and the precincts they were based out of. "I t…what?" He paused as he looked at one name on the list and then up at his son with a heavy frown.

"I saw her name also."

"Thought she had a day off?"

"She did. She was called in because her house was closest and they reached out to all officers – on and off duty to help," Frank told his father gravely.

"We should go and visit Grace and Phil. Pay our respects," Henry suggested as Frank nodded in agreement. "This tragedy gets more and more personal."

"And some might never get closure," Frank huffed as he looked at the list with too many blanks besides names in his hands.

"Come on, let's finish up here and go see Grace and Phil."

XXXXXXXX

"Has he been behaving?" Linda greeted her future mother-in-law with a smile as she entered the kitchen of the Reagan home about two hours later.

"Course," Danny replied in haste.

"No," his mother quipped at the same time with a friendly smile as she hugged Linda tightly.

"Can I get my walking papers yet?" Danny asked her with an exasperated huff as they slowly walked into the living room to talk. "Did you go to work?"

"No, I asked if I was needed on shift and they said they were okay. Think they feel sorry for me because they know I have to deal with you."

"Ha ha," Danny deadpanned as Linda eased herself down onto the couch beside him. A few moments of silence passed before Linda looked at Danny in concern. "I'm okay…I just…hate sitting at home doing nothing."

"Resting isn't nothing."

"Yeah it is," he slightly huffed. "I feel fine. I mean damn…it's not like I'm asking to go run a damn marathon. I just need something to do."

"I can sympathize with the boredom part…"

"See!"

"But at the same time it's not like you're just staying home for no reason."

Danny looked down at his casted leg and shook his head, his lips slightly twisted upward as he looked at the smiley face Jamie drew atop a one-legged stick figure. "Sam came by today."

"How is he?"

"Raw," Danny told her in truth. "With good reason. He saw a young woman die only meters away. He can't get her face out of his mind."

"That's horrible but understandable."

"Told him that. And then his mother is now on about him becoming an accountant," Danny continued as his fingers tightened in her grasp. "I told him not to quit the NYPD but I know it's his decision. Wish I could help him more."

"And his…partner?"

"He was of the ones killed in action."

"Oh no."

"Dad got the list of names last night. I think Sam will find out tomorrow. I didn't have the heart to tell him. He was so raw," Danny huffed as he slightly hung his head. "Recovery will soon be over and then…then it'll be time to just clear out all the rubble and rebuild."

"We all have to do that," Linda stated somberly as her head rested on Danny's shoulder. Her fingers gently slid over to his scar and lifted up the bottom of his T-shirt to look.

"I've been a good boy," Danny boasted in sarcasm.

"They're a bit warm," Linda mentioned softly as Danny's lips pursed. "But not alarmingly so."

"Maybe from the movement today. I swear I didn't do any heavy lifting," Danny retorted with a smile. "So…how are the wedding plans coming?"

Linda let out a small laugh and then shook her head as she lifted her mouth to his cheek and planted a soft kiss on it before it dropped back down to his shoulder. "Guess I should get started huh?"

"Ah figured it was better to talk about that than why I'm stuck at home on my ass."

"Daniel!"

"I swear she only has supersonic hearing for that one word," Danny chuffed as Linda chuckled. "Yeah sorry ma!"

"She's trying to keep you respectable."

"Too late," he whispered as he kissed her on the ear, his warm breath making her blush.

"Okay so…haven't started yet but…but I have a few ideas."

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…what else can we do?"

"Point taken."

XXXXXXXX

'I told her not to go in! Why….why dear God did she have to go in!'

'I'm very sorry Grace.'

'That job…'

As Frank neared his home his mind couldn't help but replay the tormented discussion him and his father had with an old family friend as they confirmed the horrible news – their daughter was killed when the North Tower collapsed.

'Are you sure? Maybe it's another…'

'Grace, Frank and Henry wouldn't lie about this.'

'We're very sorry.'

'Did your son come out alive!'

Those words stung the most. Of course he did. Despite his injuries he would be able to go home and hold his son close tonight and tomorrow and the night after that. Grace and Phil would never get to hold their daughter again – ever. He rested in his car a few minutes trying to get his agitation to subside a bit more before he got out and headed for the back door to his home.

"Something smells good," Frank greeted his wife with a weary smile and tense hug.

"What's wrong?" Mary asked in haste as she pulled back and looked at her husband's strained expression.

"Just got confirmation that Amber Williams was killed in the North Tower."

"Oh no."

"Pop and I went to see Grace and Phil."

"I'll call her tomorrow."

"She's…pretty raw," Frank told his wife as heard Danny's voice in the other room. "Danny doesn't know yet. Just got the last few names a few hours ago. But he did know Sam's partner died."

"Did you want to tell him now?"

"I should wait until after dinner."

"Then put on a better poker face," Mary suggested. "You can't bluff your way through this one."

"Right."

"Sam was here today."

"I think Danny should be the one to tell him," Frank pondered as he looked up and saw Danny standing in the doorway.

"Tell me what?"

Frank looked at his son's expectant expression and that of Linda a few feet away and felt his stomach tighten.

"Is it…family stuff?" Linda asked in concern.

"No. This will be made public tomorrow."

"We just got the list of confirmed NYPD and Port Authority officer deaths."

"Oh no…" Danny whispered as his father's brow furrowed heavily. "Who?" He pushed in haste.

"Amber Williams."

"What? But…I thought she had a day off?" Danny insisted.

"She answered the call like all other off duty officers," Frank reported grimly.

"And…who else?" Danny pushed on with building anger.

"Sam's partner, Jerry Simmons was also confirmed killed when the North Tower fell."

"Does…Sam know?"

"No. Your grandfather and I went and saw Grace and Phil. But…well thought it might be best if you tell Sam."

"This is going to put him over the edge," Danny stated in worry. "His mother too."

"I wish there was an easy way to say all this but there isn't; the names will be released tomorrow about mid-morning. He should hear it from you."

"Me?" Danny asked in shock.

"So that he knows he won't have to face all that grief alone," Frank told his son in a calm tone.

Danny looked at his father in misery as a small lump of emotion formed in his throat. "Amber…"

"I'm sorry."

Danny pulled back into the living room and leaned against the wall as Linda leaned against the opposite wall and looked at him in sorrow. "I told you about Amber Williams right?" He asked; her head nodding a few seconds later.

"I'm so sorry."

"Was hoping for some good news out of all this…not more bad," he groaned as she leaned forward and slipped her hand into his. "Poor Sam."

"I know."

"I have to do something for him…not just tell him but…" his voice trailed off as he looked away and then up at Linda with a tormented gaze. "I have an idea…but I need your help."

"Mine? What do you need?"

A/N: so I did waffle a bit on Sam's fate but in the end my muse came up with another route so Sam is still with us and hope that's okay! Wanted them to have a heart to heart and of course get some Frank/Henry in there and then some other bonding moments. Hope you all liked it and hmm will Danny's idea work? And how is Linda involved? Hope you're all still with me and please do review before you go!