Sorry for the long pause between posts. I guess I have too many fingers in too many pies right now, but that brings little comfort to those looking forward to updates. Hopefully, I will coordinate a schedule that can benefit me and my readers.

Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. It really means a lot to me.

Believe Again

Pen sat by the bedside and held her angel's hand. It had been over a day since the attack and JJ was resting. The questioning she had been through had yielded little results in the data base but there was still a chance they would catch the creep who had done this. Then again, it was possible the case could grow cold. No closure.

She shouldn't be afraid, but there was a part of her that worried her friend would never wake up again or if and when she did, things would never be the same with her again. She wanted to see that beautiful smile and hear that laugh. She wanted to see those blue eyes dance with mischief and delight and sparkle with love for Henry.

Grasping the small white hand, Pen tried massaging it.

"Oh, Angel," Pen whispered softly, "of all the people in the world, why did this happen to you?" Brushing the tears away with the back of her hand, Pen tried to concentrate on JJ's eyes. It was for sure JJ was going to have a helluva shiner by tomorrow, but she wouldn't think about it.

"If you can hear me, make a noise. Groan or squeeze my hand; I don't care."

JJ remained motionless.

"I guess I should tell you that Will left. Derek and Emily were packing Henry up to go to the Navy Lodge, when Will made his great escape. He left some pathetic excuse in a note. I didn't really read it. I don't have to."

The anger Pen tried to suppress only made the tears fall faster. Holding JJ's hand tighter, she tried to will her strength over.

"You are better off without him. I know you loved him because he is Henry's father, but he was wrong for you. You deserve better. You will have better."

Slowly the sun rose in the horizon to cast a faint yellow glow in the sterile white room.

"I don't know if I should tell you this, but Agent Hard Ass asked me to do a favour for him. You and Henry are going to be living with him until you get back on your feet." Pen paused and snorted. "You should have seen Strauss's face when he told her. She started on something about FBI Fraternization Regs when he told her to can it."

Pen smiled.

"I've seen the room he is giving you in that house of his. You are going to love it. The backyard is big enough for Henry to play with Mudgie and you can recover. You are going to recover from this and be stronger. Believe me," she corrected.

Pen blew her nose.

"I never told anyone this, but I…I know what you are going thru. I know I don't talk about my life growing up, and most of my time spent off the grid is not known…only the part where I got caught and was forced to make a decision - FBI or prison - is out there. But the part between my parents' death and the job offer is between me and my memories."

Pen grabbed a couple of Kleenex and blew her nose.

"My brothers and I had a huge fight right after the memorial service for our parents. They wanted to sell the house and have me move in with my dad's sister in Pennsylvania. I said no. I wanted to keep the house. We all owned twenty percent and if one of us wanted to sell, the others had to buy out his percentage.

"It came down to three against two. My younger brother Mike wanted to keep the house in the family and supported that it would be like a vacation house for us to share. Plus, with me and him going to school, it would give us a place to stay instead of on campus. Joe was in the military and stationed overseas, Carlos had a wife and a newborn, and Guillermo couldn't care less about the house.; he just wanted the money."

Pen took in a shuddered breath.

"Any way, they cited me and Mike as minors, and took our shares. We were paid, of course, and the house was sold. I got some money, but I didn't care. All I knew was that my last link to the two people I loved more than anything was gone. I told my brothers what I thought and left. I took Esther and my bank account and ran away.

"I drove far away so they would never find me and got lost in the crowd. I tried to fit in with some friends I met at a coffee stand and we found a place to stay and everything was going good. Until one night…" The memory threatened to overwhelm Pen.

"It took me a long time to recover. I had no friends or family to lean on. So, I went completely underground and taught myself code. I think I spent more than one night sleeping in the basement of more than a few libraries all over the country. Once I learned how to hack into systems and files - well, the world was my oyster. Until I got caught."

The warm sunshine fell upon her face to make the tears on her cheeks glisten.

"I pushed people away by dressing outrageously and acting unlike what a tech analyst should. But then I found you guys. You are the family I never had. Then you gave me Henry. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him or you. I am going back to the office and I am going to track down every lead and sex crime in a hundred mile radius and when I find this…this…" Pen struggled to find a word. "Pathetic low-life excuse of a human," she finished. "And when I do…I think I finally believe in guns."

Watching JJ's face, Pen noticed her REM. Her heart beat fast and excitedly.

"Buttercup, are you awake?" Pen asked hopefully.

"Pen?" JJ groaned. Every single inch of her body hurt. Blinking quickly, she tried to focus on her best friend. As her vision cleared, she looked around the room. Slowly the events of the night before replayed in her mind.

"Where is Henry?" JJ cried out and tried to sit up. Gasping from pain, she lay back against the pillows. "Where is Henry?" she repeated.

"Oh Jayje! You're awake! I'll go tell Hotch!" Pen said and turned to leave. JJ grasped her hand.

"Don't go. Where is Henry? Is he safe?"

"He's with Haley's sister…Jessica. You remember her?" Pen asked. JJ nodded. "I call to see how he was doing. He thinks you went on a bye-bye trip with Unca Spence." Pen tried to smile.

"What about…?"

"We'll take about that later. Right now, I have to get the team."

"How long?" JJ asked slowly. Her mind was still fuzzy from whatever they were pumping thru the IV in her arm.

"Almost two days. Doctor said you have a couple of broken ribs and you need to stay another day or so."

"Rossi and Hotch?"

"They are back at the BAU trying to find the…UNSUB who did this to you."

JJ looked at Pen with blank eyes.

"Don't leave me."

"I won't. But let me go get the doctor and call the team, okay?" Pen asked carefully. JJ nodded.

"Okay."

"I'll be back in one minute."

"Okay."

Pen hurried out of the room to complete her task and keep her promise.