Chapter Ten
"Do not move up-stream to meet the enemy."
You called me by my name in this world, and I ignored you, my ears were deaf
You called me again by my true name and I heard you, loud as a thundering heart
I am yours, calling Djevon's name in praise every sunset
Nakita, the bathhouse girl, whistled and giggled at the ever so romantic lines written on the tiny roll of parchment on the sparrow's leg, dyed to match, and carefully rerolled it back onto the tiny creature's limb. "I win! She crowed at Ainjin, who groaned in mock frustration and handed over his bet. She did a small dance of delight and kissed Ainjin, then ran to bully Tarja into wearing a kimono for dinner and ensure her hair was dressed, with flowers this time. Ainjin carefully carried the cage back to the dojo courtyard, and took an entire 5 minutes to place the cage with the love message at just the right place where they could all see if Tarja would dance like Nakita or not when she read the message. He had again bet his month's pay, double or nothing this time.
The guard carefully held its breath, as she carefully tucked the tiny scrap of paper into her Obi, and took two steps away from the delicate bamboo cage on the table. She began to giggle and suddenly joyfully spun in a few dancing steps, snatched an apple from a bowl on the table, threw it up and sliced it with a quick draw of her katana. "Yes!" She cried happily, then embarrassed, put a hand over her mouth and looked around wide-eyed to see if anyone had heard her. Everyone ducked below the wall of the balcony and held their breaths; Ainjin had a trainee in a head lock, his hand over the boy's nose and face to prevent the fit of nervous boyish giggles at his most feared teacher dancing like a love struck virgin. Ainjin almost felt like a dance himself, with an extra month's pay in the pocket. I should do that apple toss when we train! He thought, thinking of how he'd impress Nakita if he learned that trick.
Sunset found Tidus kneeling in front of Djevon, calming himself with sutras; he kept telling himself not to expect anything today, maybe not even for weeks, but he hoped she would come. It is never wrong to hope…He told himself. A lady in a kimono was walking up the path and he sighed in disappointment. He felt her kneel behind him and smelled an incense stick being lit. He politely rose to go and a "Tidus-san?" stopped him; delighted, he turned and recognized Tarja, clad in a kimono behind him. He cocked his head in surprise at the lovely gown and flowers in hair – it wasn't like her!
She looked a bit embarrassed and sighed: "Nakita thought it'd make a good disguise." Yeah, right. I feel ridiculous. She rose from her pillow and imitated him, arms crossed, leaning against a stone pillar supporting the blue glazed tile roof.
"She was right. Your display as a lady is a stunning camouflage. Who would think a lord consort would fall flat on his face for a wild trainee, running around like a man in hakama? Not I."
"What eagle would send a sparrow as a messenger? Not you."
Both fell silent for a moment, then uncomfortably tried not to be caught stealing glances at the other; Tarja gave it up and decided she'd have to lead – she knew that after the years of subtly enforced submission to the pets of the empress, Tidus would never be the man he was struggling to be if he had to beg her pardon. It was the acting role of a lifetime, she knew he had behaved badly at O-Bon, but he was only three steps away, and it seemed like such a small price to pay for his confidence.
She suddenly looked up, genuine tears sparkling in her eyes, ran over to him and cast herself on his chest, burying her head into the warm silk of his Gi and began to cry. 'I never thought I'd ever see you again, my brave eagle! Oh, please, please, forgive me! It was pride that held me back, after you left at O-Bon! Please tell me you forgive me, Tidus!"
His heart swelled, and for the first time in years, his confidence soared and broke free of the cage the empress had built around it and he found himself manfully clasping Tarja close, tenderly reaching a hand up to stroke the satiny hair, then bravely, possessively, running it through the strands, long fingers wrapping around the skull, only to firmly pull it closer to him. He laid claim to her, fiercely daring anyone within eyesight, no, the world, to even try to wrest his little eagle from him; in turn, her hands slipped from his waist, only to wrap around him all the more closely. He heard her murmur into his shoulder; he wanted to hear her say again he was her eagle, her love, all the tender things he longed to hear; and there were things to tenderly whisper in her ear, so he slipped two fingers below her chin and lifted it clear. Eyes met and clung, both speaking in the silent language of wild things: I see you, I truly see you and my heart bounds with joy at the very sight of you, my blood sings….love me, love me now, I would fight through oceans of time for you…
As his soul quieted, now filled with a clean contentment at being fed with the right diet of a good woman's love and affection, he finally asked into her hair: "What was it you said, Washiita? I have been so foolish myself these past two seasons…if anything, forgive me?' Then, foolishly romantic: "Look at me. I want to hear you say that, again."
She complied, and soon the tension eased; they filled the next half hour with their versions of events in the last months, interspersed with tender marks of affection; a strand of hair idly stroked, a handclasp that gently tightened helped them both over the rough emotional patches. Finally, Tidus brought up the maester's plan for escape from Bevelle:
"Know why you're here? Aside from hearing my lovesick apologies for being the ass end of a pit viper at O-Bon? Well, here's something else you need to hear. I've done it. I am seizing my life in my hands and taking it, be damned to it all – Yuna, the Shih Tan, the empress, all of it. Yes, He told me. All of it. Maester has arranged for me to leave Bevelle. Then leave the kingdom if need be. He's helping me, with a few conditions of his own, one namely around you. He has to get you out of Bevelle and into the capital at least, to be protected by the temple. He wants you to go with me. Ah. Good. You will go, then? Ok. Now here's a further offer, one that was not in his plan: Come with me. All the way."
"All the way? To the end of your journey?"
He nods; now dazed again by the intense look of boyish admiration she remembered from a summer day returning to light his eyes, she nods, complicit.
Over the next month, Tidus spent time secreting items for his escape into a pack, gifting people and trusted servants with some things, then quietly creating the legal documents Maester Seymour asked for. He spent time wandering his favorite places in the city, knowing he might never return to see them; he spent more and more time with the guard, practicing until he was dusty and bruised, but rose more skilled as the days went by; he played the part of consort to Yuna admirably, even charmingly hinting at a wedding offer, along with the gift of a pure white kimono to wear at the moon festival, lavishly decorated with pearls and embroidered with flowers, fans, tassels and a pair of firebirds, all symbols of good luck for weddings.
He even made love to her with enthusiasm, mentally enjoying the thought he would be free of her demands in bed, which currently consisted of insisting on humiliating lewdnesses, with panting orders for one position after another, so the act of love was more like the act of a street acrobat, than an expression of true passion. He pretended to not to notice the efforts to ensure he was brought every pleasure, invited to a private erotic party at an estate in town so the scene would be set on the night of the festival of the full moon. He pretended to be addled with drugs in her presence, and his trusted servants ensured his food and drink were clean. Above all, hope shone in his heart; hope that whatever he was travelling to would be a better place; that he and Tarja would somehow come to some understanding between them; that at least he would be free to be the man he wanted to be, not the arrogant, spoiled, haughty, jaded aristocrat he had been.
Yuna was almost regretful Tidus would be gone; he was an exquisitely good lover, and had somewhat seriously thought of the advantage of being wedded to a half royal. She tried to argue the point with the society, saying that it would allow them to infiltrate further in, but they scoffed, saying they had three such half royal bastards in their employ already; besides, they hinted that the next consort-elect would be young Rain, the young warrior who had lately bloomed; Bevelle was agog at his audacity on the battlefield and his warm brown laughing eyes. Indolent, and flattered, she simply shrugged and accepted their story that Tidus was being used to keep the true hope of a united kingdom alive.
Tidus went over the stern instructions given by Maester Seymour earlier: "Drink nothing, eat nothing that is offered that day, say you are under priest's order to fast before the feast; keep a pebble in your mouth. Do not allow the lady to light candles or incense near you; they will likely be drugged. Refuse any congress with the lady, even a kiss can be poison today, young master. If at all possible, leave the house before she does; use the priest's token as an excuse; go to the temple with the hot springs at the old south temple gate; stay in the public eye, travel in a crowd on the way there. I doubt you will be followed, if you set the idea in the lady's mind that you are still the same innocent gosling she was set to guard. Carry no pack or signs of travel about you that day; all will be ready for you. At the temple, ask for the ritual of purification before a wedding; when he asks the houses that will be joined, say two eagles."
Tarja was waiting by the secret back gate, indistinguishable from any other temple guardian, her straw hat shading her face into obscurity, the temple's soft grey-green travelling hakama and short double wrapped kimono somehow blurring her figure, blending almost seamlessly into the walls in the half light. He was clad in plain dark blue, the usual blanks most men travelled in; but both were girt with short bow and arrow as well as katana and tanto. They both were blessed by the priest, then mounted horses and rode hard once they had quietly walked out of the temple gate into the road away from the city. They pushed the horses as hard as they dared and reached the far bend of the river at sunset, making the last ferry of the evening. On the opposite side and a mile down, a small skiff was tied up at the dock of a waterfront shrine. They threw their two packs in, and shoved off in the early evening with only the light of the moon to guide them. Two days float and they would make the imperial capital, where the temple of heaven would shield them until passage across the ocean could be made. They would take turns at the rudder, to allow them some sleep on the journey. Tarja was exhilarated, despite the danger; the skiff was light and easy to handle, the stars were coming up in the sky and she was her own person again, unbound by this world's rules for a few days. She patiently kept the skiff centered on the main currents for as long as she could, as she doubted that Tidus had any experience sailing anything on the water. There would be time to teach him at dawn, when he could see the river currents as well as feel them. He slept lightly this night, more stressed at leaving all he knew behind than at the rocking of the boat in the current. He sat up to watch the dawn, the waters misting above the river, lending a mysterious air to the river, as sunlight gradually crept upon the sky, sending fingers of light to gently dabble in the waters below. When the fingers started to touch the riverbanks with drifts of lotus opening their tight purple veined buds to the sun's warmth, he felt a sense of oneness with his universe and it seemed that everything was calling to him. Quietly overjoyed, he stretched his hands to the sky, dropped them on the wooden bar behind him and tilted his face to the sun, and lotus-like, let himself open to the sun. He turned to Tarja after a good half hour passed and asked a wholly unexpected question: "Just how the hell do you take a piss on one these mosquitos?"
Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that! She thought; she wryly smiled and in a second, they both erupted into laughter as they realized they didn't think of that simple, but necessary function of life in their plans. She pulled the boat over to the left shoreline on a sandbar, and ran out to commune with nature herself. Relieved, she ran back and did a furious, but brief stretch to unknot her shoulders from holding the rudder all night. Tidus noticed, and told her he was steering today; he assured her that he knew how to handle bigger boats, as his summer home was on the great lake north of Bevelle. He re-stowed the packs in the front to weight the skiff correctly, then took off his short gi and under kimono, leaving just pants and travelling boots on. He rolled the shirts, placed them on his lap, and motioned her in, holding out a hand to help balance her as she stepped aboard the rocking craft. He quietly settled her in the bench just before his and gently, but firmly, pulled her backwards until her head hit his chest, then he gently lowered her to the roll of clothes on his lap and simply said: "Sleep." As she settled against the roll, the warm honey scent of his skin underlaid with a faint scent of astanga wood resin soap drifted up, and his strong legs wrapped around her torso, firmly pushing his feet on the wood seat to hold steady, like any good sailor would do to keep his stow-mate from rocking the boat as they slept. She awoke when the sun was past noon, but still high in the sky, and watched the clouds drift by in the sky; Tidus' hand unconsciously stroked her hair, then noticing she was awake, moved his hand to her face, tracing the soft arc of the untouchable caress he did in the Maester's garden. Confused, yet desiring his touch, she slowly rubbed her head against the roll, then slowly sat up. Not here, not now, Tidus thought; but as soon as we find a proper bed, I will leave you no room to doubt me, little eagle.
She shyly smiled and carefully moved to the center bench, pulling an apple out of the backpack and idly munched it, asking questions about the river as they drifted downstream in the currents. Welcoming the distraction, he answered her questions, slowly opening up until they were telling each other confidences they'd never told anyone else, cracking jokes and filling the two seasons-long abyss between them until sunset; then Tidus opened the box beneath the stern-mate's seat and shook out a circle net; he cast it with a practiced flip of his wrist in the shallows of a river bend, and soon had a catch of silver-sides; after picking a pair, he wrapped them in leaves from the large river bamboos growing on the shore and placed them on a hot rock in the fire he had built. In a half turn of the clock, they were eating the first hot meal they'd had in two days.
Staring at the little campfire's warm embers, contented, Tidus began to idly stroke her hair again as she sat at his feet; she leaned into the caress and surprisingly, asked if he'd like to make love on the little beach. She took his silence as rejection; she rose and started to quietly move away, ashamed she had asked, but he caught her to him, and turned her roughly to face him; Tidus exclaimed: "I want to! Trust me. I. Want. To. But I think I deserve a bed, not dirt. I…I have been trained to please, Tarja, since age 13; and never have I been allowed to please myself. Please, please allow me this one thing. I promise you will not regret it, little eagle. I want you. Believe it."
Again shocked at the revelation of the warrior, now admitting he was trained like a courtesan in making love, she just dumbly nodded and thought: I want you too, Tidus. I've always wanted you. Perhaps it is I who needs the lesson. Maybe it's barbaric to them to be spontaneous. Accept. Listen. Learn.
To show she understood, she lifted a hand and imitated his untouchable caress over his face, vs. leaning in for a kiss. His blue eyes warmed in appreciation of the subtlety of her gesture; he found himself returning the subtle caress on her face. She looked so appealing in the firelight; and with his newfound sense of freedom, he decided to bend just a little, huskily saying: "Those lips were made for passion – kiss me this once for a taste, Tarja…a promise of what is to come…" He gently looked down at her and all she could do was stare mesmerized at his firm lips mouthing the words 'kiss me' silently, a flood of erotic images now crowding her mind, spilling into her blood, carried along every artery into the secret places in her body; she raised on her toes, and with admirable control, placed her lips on his, gently pressing against the warm flesh. Then her world turned upside down. Tidus took command, firmly moving his lips on hers as he turned his head to delve into her warm mouth further with his tongue, expertly adding to the sensual overload with a deep purr in the back of his golden throat. He willed himself to stay absolutely still, so he would not lose further control, just concentrating on the kiss, now a touch savage as he kept a hand on the back of her neck, pressing hard and deep, then pulling away with a gentle nip to her full lower lip.
Suddenly, the night seemed much happier, and somehow, why they were there, on a river in the middle of nowhere, running from a secret society of assassins, made perfect sense.
They kicked the fire out, then climbed back aboard the skiff to keep moving through the night. Tarja took the rudder and Tidus took the stow-mates position. The next morning, they exchanged places; the river deepened and the current picked up; two bluffs came into view and as they passed, Tidus told her the tale of the two giants fighting in the beginning of time, forever frozen in place as guards, having offended the harmony of the gods by their jealous bickering over the river. He also remarked that they should reach the delta and the imperial capital by nightfall. The river started to show signs of civilization soon after, and Tarja soon struggled into an upright position, donning her hat in order to give the appearance of a proper waterman's woman. Tidus donned his under kimono and Gi, much to her disappointment; she had enjoyed the view of his golden brown torso, rippling with muscle in the spring sun.
It was sunset when they found the temple of heaven's pier on the river; it wasn't hard to find, everyone they asked had assured them it would be shining as brightly as day and the temple boys in their grey green garb were out, helping to tie up boats and help the sick, the infirm, or the elderly in and out. There was an older man overseeing the boys and he politely asked them their business with the temple and they again said a wedding ritual purification; they were instructed to tell them the houses of the eagle and the dove this time and bowing, the grey-haired iron fist of a man led the way himself to the temple chambers.
They had made it! They were safely hidden in the imperial capital temple. Tidus found himself pulled away from his companion of two days and fretful, he almost raised his voice at the priest, who smiled benignly and bowed as he waved him into the head priest's private office. The head priest reaffirmed the code words and they conversed for a good hour about the situation Tidus had left behind in Bevelle. The Shih Tan had little influence in the imperial Capital; however, it didn't stop the emperor and his legal court from ensuring they did not further expand their influence. The abomination of bending a man's mind to be a killing machine was bad enough, but the secret feast of the flesh, prepared with expertise of a chef's skills aroused the imperial anger no small amount.
He was asked about Tarja, how she came to Spirea, what his impressions of her kind were; the high priest was silently amused at the way this young eagle's feathers ruffled at the mere idea she was something other than a superb creature; Ahhh…lovebirds I am sheltering as well as warriors! Perhaps this is a good thing; we won't have to separate them when the imperial service is offered. What an odd pair they are; I must convince them to visit again and record their story, especially hers, we have never had a record of a human from this Earth yet; we have to investigate where the gate is on the mountain, ensure it is closed… the priest thought as he poured tea for Tidus. He then gently informed Tidus he was a guest here for a few days, until he had arranged things and taken his report to the council of the requisite high court and received a ruling, plus funds to pursue actions. He suggested they did not leave the city, nor advertise their presence; he politely insisted that staying on the temple grounds might allow some further secrecy and protection.
After Tidus left for a long needed bath and a real bed, the temple maester turned to the muslin panel to his right and quietly laughed, stating: "Well, what do you think of this love struck eagle's story?" The face remained shadowed, but the robes of an imperial high court personage peeped out as they stirred from the chair and quietly laughed also: "I suspect we will have a wedding in the temple by solstice, by Djevon! The young eagle has shown an extraordinary resourcefulness as number two has written; his story concurs with the reports. He is who he says he is. I will set the next steps in motion. And maester? – Observe her for me- tell me if she is truly trained. The son of heaven is most interested."
Delicious, Tarja thought as she approached the large communal bathtub. It was lined with blue tiles, making it a perfect reflecting pool for the night sky above their heads in the miniature formal garden; lit by lanterns , scented with night blooming lotus and temple incense, it was a welcome indulgence after the two day run down the river. She had scrubbed the dirt of the journey off in the women's communal bath house and had her tight shoulders and hips unknotted by a novice; her clothes had been washed, but were still drying, so she wore a simple temple trainee's practice gi and hakama loaned by the temple's storehouse of donations. She was not anxious as Tidus had been when they were separated; she had anticipated it, as he was a half royal bastard son and she was, well, not royal. She was treated with the rank and status that the maester had officially bestowed on her; her room was simple, but well appointed and the tea was of excellent quality. She was joined by a few other women, also travelers. They all enjoyed the restful garden glimpsed through the rising steam of the ever-so-hot water and the few idle comments faded into a comfortable silence as the hot water undid all the stresses of the day. Later, utterly relaxed, lying on a soft futon, drifting into sleep, Tarja mentally replayed the sensual kiss Tidus and she had shared the evening before more than once, delighted at the fierce avowal that he wanted her.