Chapter 10
It had started to drizzle by the time the car pulled up to Dr. Erskine's Queens home. "Stay dry, my friend," Howard said when his driver moved to open his door.
"Of course, sir," the man replied, his eyes shooting up to meet Howard's in the rear view mirror as he handed an umbrella back. Taking it in hand, Howard opened his door and hurried around to open Em's.
"Thank you for the ride," she said, smiling at Mr. Jarvis.
"You're welcome, Ma'am," he nodded. After taking a breath, Em took Howard's offered hand and stepped out of the car.
They didn't say anything as they walked up the steps, Howard keeping the umbrella high enough to cover them both. As they reached the stoop, Em moved to unlock the door but he stopped her.
"Listen," he said, leaning forward as he spoke quietly. "It's not too late to back out of all of this. You could still keep your job with Brandt, just tell Phillips you're finished. This project doesn't need your help anymore – I've got enough people on the Hill that can get it done without you sticking your neck out for the rest of us."
Emily raised an eyebrow before shaking her head slightly. "Why do you care so much?"
"Because you have no idea what you're getting yourself into," he replied, reaching up to wipe away a strand of hair from her face. She took a small step backwards but he shook his head. "Even if Phillips puts you on a desk somewhere – which he's probably going to do, so don't get any grand ideas about going overseas with him – you're going to find things out, things that are going to haunt you. We're going to have enough of that when the boys come home...and your guy wouldn't have wanted you to see what was happening over there."
"You don't know Garrett," she said, his name heavy on her tongue.
"I may not have," he agreed, taking a step closer and lowering the umbrella to block them from view of the street. "But I know about some reports coming in from Europe and they're not pretty. And any decent person…" he trailed off before shaking himself slightly and reaching up to touch her reddened eyes. His tongue darted out to wet his lips before he dropped his hand and spoke again. "Once you see it, it'll change you. And not for the better."
Lowering her eyes, Em took a deep breath. She couldn't remember the first time she'd seen pictures of the atrocities that the Nazi regime had committed. The history, as terrible as it was, had become so mainstream that – while it made her sad and disgusted – enough time had passed that she hadn't had the visceral reaction that those living through it had. She couldn't have pictured what it was like for the average person to find out about the Final Solution, or the experiments that the Japanese were conducting on prisoners of war, or Mengele's twin experiments…
"I'll think about it," she said. On a whim, she stood on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. "Thanks for the ride."
"You're welcome," he replied, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smile as he rubbed away her lipstick mark. "Keep you head down, Miss Harthorn."
"I'll try, Mr. Stark," she smirked. "Goodnight." Emily quickly undid the lock and stepped inside, her eyes shooting up to meet Howard's as she closed the door behind her. Smiling to herself, she took off her heels and dangled them from her fingers and she crept down the hallway.
"Ah, you made it back," Dr. Erskine said as she passed the kitchen on the way to the stairs. Emily tensed, not having seen him in the dark room. He gave her a critical look before stepping closer. "Have you been crying, my dear?"
"I'm fine," she said quickly, eyes darting to the water glass and leather notebooks in his hands. "I hope you weren't waiting up for me."
"No," he assured her before looking towards the front door. "Where is Miss Miller?"
"She decided to stay at the Expo with Jimmy."
"Oh?" he asked, raising his eyebrow slightly. She recognized that worried look on his face.
"Yes. There are a couple other girls joining up with the group, so she'll be fine," Em assured him. "Plus, Jimmy's driving us to the station tomorrow so he can't be out too late either."
"Right. Well, I will be heading to bed now. Ingrid will be here to see you off in the morning, but I'll most likely be gone before you wake up."
"Okay. Thanks for letting us stay here," she said, feeling disappointed that she didn't have more time with her grandfather.
"It's been my pleasure, Emily," he smiled, inclining his head. "Goodnight."
"Night." Erskine stepped around her and was about to start climbing the stairs. The gravity of her situation seemed to crash over her, and she would later blame that for why she spoke again. "If you knew something…something so big that it would change the course of history, but you didn't know the ramifications of telling that secret, would you tell someone or would you keep it?"
Erskine turned back to look at her and furrowed his eyebrows. "What secret?"
"I can't tell you," Em said before biting her lower lip.
"Does this have anything to do with your work for the SSR?"
"No, it's…it's something else. Something…I can't even explain it," she said, tears welling in her eyes again. She blinked rapidly, feeling slightly angry with herself for becoming overly emotional for what felt like the millionth time that evening. Erskine walked back towards her and tucked the journal under his arm before gently guiding her into the kitchen. After flicking the light on, he sat her in a chair before sitting opposite of her.
"This secret," he said. "Did you discover it in the course of your work?"
Emily let out a nearly hysterical laugh because she would be lying either way she answered. If she said no, it would be ignoring her doctorate, but saying yes would be incorrect because of her position as a secretary. Seeing his worried look again, she shook her head, "Sort of."
"And this secret…does it have to do with the war?"
"Yes. And more."
"And more?" he asked.
Emily nodded, "And if I tell you, it could change everything. But not saying anything is killing me because – " she stopped herself and shook her head.
"Because?"
"Because what I know is huge. And it could save hundreds of thousands of lives…strangers, but I could also save people I know – but if I say that then it could change…I could…I might not…Mom wouldn't have met Dad and Tuck and I…" She felt the first tear slipping down her cheek just as Erskine reached over to cover her hand with his.
"Perhaps telling one person won't alter everything?" he said cautiously. "This seems a heavy burden for you to carry alone."
"I can't," she shook her head, trying to will her tears away.
"Let's start simply," he said after a moment, worry still coloring his voice. "Your name is Emily Harthorn and you're a secretary, correct?"
"No, not really," she gave weak laugh.
"No? Then why don't you tell me about yourself?"
There was something in his expression that made Em feel like she could say something. The cynical part of her knew that, as long as she was careful about what she said, there could be little damage done because….
Because he wouldn't be around to say anything for much longer. Feeling her heart and stomach sinking, Em took a deep breath before pulling her hand away from him and knitting her fingers together, focusing her attention on that instead of the man across from her. This was going to be the only opportunity that she ever got to speak frankly to her grandfather.
"My name is Emily Rose Harthorn, and I was born in Sanford, Maine. My mother, Caroline, is a high school English teacher, and both my father and brother are lawyers. When I was younger, my family moved to Massachusetts where my dad, Matthew, set up a law office with a few partners." She glanced up to meet his eyes for a moment, looking down again when he nodded for her to continue. "After graduating high school I studied history and political science at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, and was pre-law tracked until I…" she paused, biting her tongue to keep from saying until she found a Captain America comic book.
"Until?" Erskine prompted.
"Until I changed my mind and decided to pursue a graduate degree in history. I have a doctorate in history from the University of North Carolina."
"You have a doctorate? And yet you're a secretary?" he frowned.
"No, I'm an assistant professor at Empire State University."
"But you work in Senator Brandt's office," Erskine said. "Phillips confirmed that, and you won't have been able to spy on him without having that position."
"I do, but…I don't know how to explain this without sounding crazy."
"Say it, and I won't think you are crazy."
A wry smile flit across her mouth as she brushed away another tear, "You're going to regret that statement."
"Try me," he smiled.
Emily took a deep breath. "I think I traveled through time."
Erskine was still for a moment before speaking. "And when did you come from?"
"2014."
"2014?" he echoed. "That's quite a long way to travel."
"It is," she nodded.
"Has the world changed much?"
"In some ways yes, in others no. I never realized quite how much until I woke up here."
"Ah," he nodded again, steepling his fingers. "And how did you manage this time travel."
"I couldn't tell you, to be honest," she sighed. "I was in To- a friend's lab and he was messing with things he shouldn't have… another friend's work… and voila! I woke up in 1943."
Erskine nodded again before he stood and walked over to a cabinet, pulling down two glasses and a dark bottle. Em watched as he sat again and held the bottle up for her inspection. "Schnapps from Augsburg - I was able to bring a few bottles when Peggy smuggled us from the country."
"I probably shouldn't," she said.
"A story like this requires a good drink to go with it," he said, waving off her comment before sliding a tumbler full of schnapps across the table to her. "Do you have proof of your story?"
"Nothing tangible," she shrugged. "Only what I know about this time period…"
"Ah. And that's not much?"
"Quite the contrary," Em chuckled before taking a sip of the schnapps and was pleasantly surprised to taste pears. "I wrote my dissertation about World War II."
"Did you?" he asked, leaning forward slightly. "And what about it in particular?"
"The propaganda campaigns - mainly the Allies but I did look a bit into the German and Japanese ones for comparisons." The tumbler dangled from her fingers as she glanced down at the newer journal her grandfather had set to the side. It took Emily a moment to realize that –70 years later – that exact book would be sitting in the top drawer of her home desk, well worn from multiple readings and ink faded from running her fingers over the words again and again.
He followed her gaze and shook his head, "Just some of my thoughts."
"I know," she said before catching herself. "You wrote something almost every night."
OOO
"It's a bad idea."
"I need to find out what's going on."
"They'll trace the call, Steve. You're going to draw attention to the Tower, which is the last thing you want right now," Natasha hissed.
"You don't get it, Nat!" Steve whirled and grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop. "This is the woman I love that we're talking about."
"S.H.I.E.L.D. is going to be tracing any call from this city to the Tower, waiting for you to slip up and try to make contact," she said, shaking off his arm. "If you want to draw attention to what Tony and Jane are trying to do, go ahead and give them a call – let them know that you're not going to be on your way back, and have agents there to disrupt their work."
Steve clenched his jaw, resisting the urge to yell or punch something. Logically he knew she was right – the best course of action was to put his head down and try to figure out what was on the flash drive Fury had given him. "I have to…"
"You can't be in both places at once, Steve. The most qualified people in the world are working on getting Emily back," Natasha said softly. "You need to trust that they'll do it. And in the meantime, we work on getting the people who killed Nick and took a shot at Em and Falsworth."
He took a breath and forced himself to keep from lashing out again. "Okay. So what's the plan?"
OOO
"You have...how do…" her grandfather frowned as Emily flushed with her slip of tongue. "Have you looked at this?"
"No! Yes...Ugh!" she groaned, pressing a hand to her eyes.
"No and yes?" he prompted. Emily stayed silent for a long beat, until he cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow at her. "No and yes?"
After another sip of her schnaps, Em sighed. "No, not while here but yes, I have read it before."
"How? Even if I were to believe you, this is to be burnt after my death."
"They're not," she said. "And I...I saw them as part of my job."
"Your research?"
"No, not the research - well, kind of - but I only got to see them because we're -" Em clapped a hand over her mouth.
"'Because we're' what?" her grandfather asked.
Emily shook her head, pushed back from the table, and stood. "I really should get to be-"
"'Because we're' what?" he repeated, standing as well.
"I can't," she breathed.
He studied her, eyes darting across her face before he slowly sat down. "You said you were born in Sanford, Maine."
"I...Yes," she frowned, trying to follow the conversation shift.
Slightly slack jawed, he lifted the journal. "Can you tell me what I've written tonight?"
"You...You wrote about finding Steve at the Expo and how Colonel Phillips won't like it."
The book fell back onto the table with a slight thud as he stood again and took a step towards her. "How did it happen?"
"How did what?"
"I chose Sanford as a safe place for Ingrid if something were to happen to me… How did I…" he shook his head. "No, I don't want to know. But you… you have her eyes." Emily stayed very still as he reached to stroke her cheek. "Who are you?"
"I…"
He gave her a wry smile, tears glistening in his eyes as he shook his head. "You said your mother was Caroline?" Em nodded. "That would make you...granddaughter or great-granddaughter?"
Emily tried to choke back a sob. "Ja, Opa."
OOO
"Please tell me you found something out," Carter said as he stepped into Tony's lab. Jane and Tony had migrated from her uncompleted work space to the upper floors of Stark Tower for better tech. The machine that made Em disappear was sitting ignored in the middle of the room while the two scientists worked on opposite sides of the lab.
Darcy was sitting crossed-legged in the middle of a mess of papers but looked up from her laptop and shrugged. She had all but forced him out to take a nap and shower on Em and Steve's floor just to get some space from the situation. "Kind of," she said, glancing over to where Jane was scribbling away on a white board while Tony messed with a hologram. "We were able to confirm that the ray didn't blow Em up. Jarvis didn't find any of her blood in here."
"Well that's comforting at least," he sighed, rubbing a hand through his damp hair. "Anything else?"
"Those two stopped fighting and are finally focused. Jane's trying to figure out what's going with the - "
There was a sudden roar and bright light outside of the window that drew all of their attention. "Thor's back!" Darcy sing-songed.
Author's Note: So major apologizes for the months between updates, this semester kind of sapped any energy or desire to write. But yeah...I've gotten quite a few really nice messages over the last few weeks that made me pick it up again. Thank you for those!
Anyways, I hope this was worth the wait. And just as an aside, this won't really have anything to do with Age of Ultron.