Even though everything is getting better between Bella and Edward, you have to have trouble in paradice sometimes. This chapter is going to get angsty real quick.
"Bella, Bella, I missed you!" Izzy hugged my leg. I let out a laugh and hugged Izzy to my chest. Abby watched from afar, like she always does. I nodded my greeting to her, and she just stared. You get used to it.
"I'm happy you and your Edward are together again, me and Eddie were having fun!" Izzy giggled, and I saw little Eddie start to come forword. I motioned for him to come here, and I hugged him gently. I especially care about Eddie.
"So Eddie...what game were you and Izzy playing?" I asked, a smile tugging gently at my lips.
He smiled, showing all his bright teeth,"We're playing tag." I smiled back, and let Izzy and Eddie get back to there game. I came to sit next to Abby, who is always lurking at the shadows of the field.
"Are you ok?" I asked quietly.
"I am happy." She replied, watching the kids.
"Really?" I said, hardly disquising my shock.
"I am starting to like Jacob." Her eyes showed amusement.
"Umm..." I can start to feel a headache coming.
"You can't say you don't like him...and who knows...maybe you'll leave Edward for him." Abby's voice was laced with hope.
I sucked my teeth,"You know I wouldn't leave Edward for Jacob."
"Yeah...but think about it. Jacob is great, funny, sweet, and he is very handsome. You guys have a lot in common, and your happy with him." Abby was right. I am happy with Jacob, but I'm am complete with Edward. He knows me, what I like and dislike, and he loves me. Why would I give that up? "You have a chance to start over. Wouldn't you like that?" Abby's face went gentle. I would love that...to have a normal life. But I wouldn't trade that for Edward, not at all. "Look...I have some one to show you." Abby pointed to a figure walking towards Izzy and Eddie. It was a boy. He had a great smile on his face, soft tan skin, and long black hair. He had an air filled with confidence around him, like you wanted to be near him. Izzy turned to look at him and her face lit up.
"Jakey!!" She squealed and jumped up to hug him.
"Hey Bells." He giggled. Eddie sat there confused, but slowly his face grew angry.
"Izzy, get away from him." Eddie said, his voice dark. Izzy turned to look at Eddie confused, but Jakey grabbed her hand.
"She doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to!" Jakey argued. Eddie then grabbed Izzy's other hand and started to pull her to him. But Jakey also tried to pull her to him. Then they started a human tug of war, with Izzy in the middle. Her face had sheer confusion on it, and she looked like she wanted to cry from the pain the boys are inflicting.
"Doesn't that remind you of you?" Abby asked innocently. I turned to glare at her, but she was already gone. Everyone was gone.
When I woke up, I wasn't crying. I didn't have the feeling to clutch my chest in agony, or anything. I just stared at the white ceiling, feeling jealous of it. It is white, and no matter what happens, it will always be a white ceiling. It didn't have to worry about love, hate, or loneliness. The only worry I could think of for it is if water started leaking from it. Then it would get moldy. And it would be a fungus infected white ceiling. I felt a overwhelming sense of sadness wash over me. Drowning me in it's sea of pain, making me as miserable as it is. I have to make a choice. Do I choose my brother...or my first boyfriend? It didn't dawn on me that Jacob is in fact my first boyfriend ever. I had the urge to squeal and jump for joy, but I couldn't do that. There is a chance that I could break a boy's heart today. I just wish it wasn't any of my boys.
"Bella...Bella? Earth to Bella!" Jacob's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Hmm?" I asked.
"Wow Bells, you must be thinking hard if your zoning out like that." Jake joked. I slapped his arm and Jacob laughed at my frustration. I never noticed how Jake's face looks younger when he laughs. Its like a weight is off his shoulders, and he can let go and enjoy the moment. I can see myself with him, if I did pick him over Edward. Edward...my brother...my lover...my world. He brightens my life, and has created emotions I never felt until I met him. Immense anger and loathing when I first met him, and slowly it died down, and desire and passion...and love took their place. He was my first for everything. How can I even think about leaving him? Maybe there is a chance that he isn't my half brother, that we have no blood in common with each other. Then we could be together. I'm getting ahead of myself.
"Bella...what's wrong?" Jake's soft, concerned voice was close to my ears. I didn't notice that Jacob was staring at me, his face hardly 5 inches away from mine. His fingers gently traced over my eyes, and I saw a drop of water fall off his finger. I reached up to my own eyes and felt the wetness there. What kind of girl doesn't notice when she's crying? Me. I looked back to Jacob's face, and he looked confused. His eyebrows were scrutched up, his eyes showed concern, and his mouth was in a tight line. He was studying me.
"I'm fine Jake, I'm fine." I said shakily, little sobs gasping in my voice. 'Get it together Bella. You don't want the class to notice you.' I said to myself. I slowly felt my body go back to normal, and the urge to cry simply left my mind. "Sorry Jake..I'm just..going through some things." I tried to play off my visual breakdown, but Jacob didn't believe me.
"Bella." He whispered my name, he sounded lost. I looked at him, just wishing that everything can go away. Then he pulled me into his arms, and I snuggled into his chest. He was warm...hot skin, against my cold skin. I can stay here forever, and I felt guilt unleash inside of me. I let a few tears dampen his shirt, I can't help it. Jacob caressed my back, rubbing away the pain. I'm surprised no one is watching us. "Bella...I don't know what is going on, but I'm here for you. I lo...like you a lot." Jacob told me, the warmth in his voice warming me.
"I don't want to hurt you Jake. I can't do that." My voice cracked, true emotion breaking through. I held on to him for dear life. He can be my rock, through the times that I can't go through. He will be there for me if things with my brother don't work. How can I use him as a subsitute for my own damn brother? He deserves better than me. I lightly pushed Jacob away and tried to tell him all the things I couldn't through my eyes. But Jacob's face grew more confused. "Jake...I can't tell you what's going on but...I am so happy that your here." I said, meaning my words. Jacob smiled gently at me and pulled me back into an embrace.
"That's what I'm here for." He said softly. I'm pulling everyone down with my internal demise. Edward has fallen, I have fallen, and now I'm slowly dragging down Jacob. I have to let him go before its too late. But can I do it?
Sorry for the short chapter. Lots of negative thoughts in this chapter. Bella is trying to find a way out from all these problems and all she can think of is Jacob. But can she use him? And fall even more? I can personally say that I am very in touch with my characters and I try to make them happy. But can you actually think happiness can come out of this? It makes you think, doesn't it? Don't forget to vote on my poll on my profile, I need the votes so I can determine how to write a certain chapter in the future. I'll update soon. See ya.