EDITED! This chapter was a lot of fun the second time around! This is the eighth chapter I've edited and re-posted in a row today... I'm on a roll!

((LINE))

(Evil grin)

Jak: You're getting better at those.

Thanks Jak! I'm also getting better at torture!

Jak: What have you and Erol been planning?

(Evil grin)

Jak: ...I'm scared

You should be...Oh and before I forget, I don't own anything, if I did Jak would be even more afraid!

Jak: Not possible

((LINE))

Beware the Shiny Object

Erol walked aimlessly through the bazaar, looking for nothing in particular.

Suddenly something shiny caught his eye and he wandered over to where the shiny thing was glinting in the sunlight.

"Shiniest item on market, you like?" It was Brutter as the shiny thing was in his stand.

"Didn't you sell fish or something?" Erol wondered out loud.

"Fish smell bad, Lurker brothers ran. Buy shiny item and Brutter will kiss you foots!"

"Deal." Said Erol happily, he payed several thousand Precursor orbs for the shiny object along with a power cell. Where he got the power cell I will never know, he must have got into the first game while I was sleeping.

"Now kiss my feet!" Erol ordered in a threateningly low tone with a small hand gun to Brutter's head.

((LINE))

Jak was innocently walking around a corner when Erol came sprinting towards him.

"Eek!" screamed our brave hero, forgetting his ability to turn purple.

"Jak! Look at the shiny thing I brought... The shop keeper kisses feet for free!" Erol held the shiny thing out in front of him with his palm flat.

Without warning there was a small flash of blindingly bright light and Jak was left with a dazed complexion.

"I love you, Master" Said the brainwashed Jak to the overjoyed Erol.

Erol kissed Jak passionately and Jak replied hungrily.

"Would the others understand our love, Master?" Jak asked Erol as he stroked his orange hair lovingly.

"Does it matter? All that matters is you and me...And what we have," Erol crooned.

"Nice hair?" Jak asked.

"No, love!" Erol corrected him angrily.

His face softened, "Wow...Only several thousand orbs and I get Jak! Let's go shout it out to everyone!"

They kissed once again and all the civilians watching died. They just stopped living!"

First of all they linked arms and skipped off to Keira's house.

When she tried to jump into Jak's arms and he stepped aside and she fell to the ground and broke a pot plant and her father set a hippy plant on her and the hippy couldn't find his meat cleaver and her father killed the hippy and Jak kissed Erol, she knew something was wrong.

"Erol and I are in love!" Exclaimed Jak happily and Keira fainted back into Torn's waiting arms.

Next the happy duo skipped to Spargus and told Damas who gave Erol the concerned I'll-kill-you-if-you-hurt-my-only-son speech.

Next on their list was whoever they ran into at the time. This happened to be Seem, Kleiver, Sig, Vin, Onin, Veger and Razer. Don't ask why those last two were there... or any of them at all.

"May the Precursors bless you with many shiny items. I fear the re-making of the world is at hand... so there will be many shiny explosions and bits of debris!" Said Seem.

"Great! Now, about me nappy, HELP! It hasn't been changed in two months and it's a squishy bugger to sit on," said Kleiver as he tried to take off the nappy.

"Listen cherries, WTF to the max on this one... Jak! Watch your six! It's under assault! Oh no wait, that's ok, he's allowed to assault you!" said Sig.

"Uh... That's just great, like I haven't got enough to worry about. Now I have to deal with my best protector going soft and soppy eyed over a carrot top," moaned Vin.

"For many moons I have waited for a juice box! And a jewel shop! And I have hairy legs! And a hairy chest! And my toe nails have shiny paint on them!" said Onin...But nobody knew that because to them she simply waved her arms around.

"I was rooting for those kids to get together; this is the happiest day of my life!" said Veger as he cried into Razer's shoulder and blew his nose on his big red coat.

"Damn I was hoping I would end up with one of you, it's so hard being a homo in a big red coat, children hug me because they think I'm Santa and mothers throw bricks at me because they think I'm a paedophile!" said Razer.

Erol, in reply to all responses got down on one knee.

"Jak, my love, my hope, my dreams, my heart, my kidney, my liver, my soul, my stomach, my shininess, my good fuc-"

"Get on with it!" Angry-arm-waved Onin.

"Hurry up, this is killing me" Sobbed Veger.

Erol took a deep breath but was interrupted.

"Onin! There you are! I've been looking all over for you! Who is stronger? ME, or this scrawny orange thing? Hint: It's me!" It was Pecker...Interrupting Erol's proposal.

Onin waved her arms around her head.

"What do you mean you want us to fight to prove ourselves?"

"What she meant to say is she KNOWS I'm waaaay tougher then you but she wants to give you a fair chance, birdbrain!" Daxter quipped.

At that last word Pecker lunged at Daxter and they rolled over and over until they got very dizzy.

"Enough rolling orangey...uhh... thing...!" Pecker screeched.

Daxter smashed his full body weight into Pecker's chest who retaliated by grabbing his shoulders and trying to push him back. Daxter did the same.

They continued to try and drag each other to the dusty ground, occasionally tiring for a second or slipping and banging chests together. This hurt a lot and they stopped.

Jak and Erol quietly slipped away to Erol's house where there was golden sheets and red candles.

((LINE))

A few hours later Jak and Erol walked into the Naughty Ottsel with smiles on their faces.

Then the stag night began!

Everything was going great. Jak was drunk and pashing a sober Erol in a corner.

Kleiver was still trying to take off his nappy.

Vin was trying to get Kleiver into the closet.

Sig was stripping, with Praxis, while singing in high pitched gibberish.

Damas was taping everything for future viewing fun when they are all really old and wrinkly.

There was a secret camera taping everything straight to Tess' T.V. where Tess and Keira sat side by side giggling hysterically, although Keira was still upset.

Torn was pulling Christmas bon bons by himself and running around pretending to be whatever little thing he got out of it, "I'm a scaaaaaary spider!" He said in a spooky voice to Vin, who had a heart attack and fainted.

From outside voices were heard as though there was a wrestling match going on outside.

"Oi! Not the feathers!"

"I think you put a kink in my tail!"

"What was that, a fish hook? Is that even allowed?"

"Feels like a fly punching me!"

"Is that the best you can do?"

"If I did my best you would be dead!"

"Bring it on rat!"

"Take that bent beak!"

"What do you call that?"

"Nipple cripple!"

"I don't have nipples! Suck on that!"

"Suck what?"

"Krew!"

Daxter and Pecker rolled into the 'Ottsel in a flail of fists and feathers.

"...FOODFIGHT!" Jak yelled.

Tacos, meatballs, pizza, fish fingers, sausages, Vin, chips, beer, celery, pudding, G - Strings, chocolate, toe nails and raspberries flew everywhere.

Suddenly Krew crashed through a wall and Pac Man style flew around eating all the flying food. ULMP! ULMP! ULMP! ULMP! ULPM!

((LINE))

"Jak! Wake up! It's our wedding day!" Erol jumped on Jak like a child waking its parents.

Jak woke up.

"!" He screamed and turned purple.

The shininess had wore off.

Dark/Purple Jak cut Erol's head clean off his shoulders.

Krew ate the body.

(Line here)

Erol: I'm dead! We never discussed that!

Jak: Ahem...coughIDidcoughcough

Wasn't that a great chapter Jak?

Jak: Why can't I be the dead one! I had no idea what was gonna happen except for the end! I don't believe you! How could you do this to me!

Tess&Keira (Playing the tape again): !

Jak: did Keira have to watch it!

Yes!

Jak:(Has re read the script and gone into shock)

Erol: I love you Jak, even though I'm dead, you will remain in my heart.

Jak: (Has a seizure)

REVEIW! ... Please. Or you will get smallpox.