Strings Part I

The pristine white tapestry made to compliment the deep brown of tables and cabinets didn't matter. Even the captivating paintings adorning the walls had not an inch of their luster. They couldn't show off their worth in a room drowning in a veil of darkness.

At a first glance, no one would think twice about the room being empty of its occupant. However, from the pulsating and moving lights coming from the screen of a television hanging by the wall, a trace of a human form could be seen. Sitting languidly on a swivel chair, feet on top of his work table, all prim manners of the business world gone, he sat and stared at the late night news.

The people's faces looked weird as they all opened their mouths to speak but not a sound could be heard. The television was in mute to begin with. Only the slightest sound of a burning cigarette stayed in the background, mingling with the loud breaths as the only soul in the room blew puffs of smoke out of his mouth.

"..."

When the news took a break for a commercial, the hazel eyes narrowed and he unblinkingly stubbed his dying cigarette at the ashtray waiting for him. It was full again, without him noticing.

He threw a disinterested glance at the dark ceiling of his office and brought his right hand on his chin. The slight sharpness that registered on the tips of his fingers made him scowl. How many days had he been in the office, working his brains out for him to grow stubble without him noticing? No wonder his female subordinates had been staring at his face almost all week.

"..."

He looked to his left where the huge window was. The curtains were pulled to the sides, allowing the director unobstructed view of the expanse of the night sky and the other skyscrapers close to them. In the dim, the window served as a good mirror producing his reflection.

The stubble was only barely visible. It didn't look bad and if anything, it enhanced the predator-look in his eyes. But it was because of that very nasty look he had in his eyes that made him resort to always being clean-shaven. And sensing that he'd been going around like this for the last couple of days just confirmed that he was being not his usual self.

"..."

The man pulled his feet off his table and reached out to the drawer beneath. He remembered his spare razor and mindlessly pulled the drawer open, only for him to slam it shut once again.

"This...is so stupid."

It had been five days since then. But the scene burned in his head was as vivid as though it just happened a couple of seconds ago. It was following him wherever he went, whatever he did, whichever he looked.

Shio's face. That oddly perplexed expression in the dark that suddenly brightened at the sight of his brother. The older brother who supposedly was mean most of the time, just one stroke of that guy's hand and the green eyes which had no life earlier beamed to an extent that blinded him.

The sight annoyed him.

But the root of his annoyance came from the fact that he had no reason to be in the first place.

He only liked teasing and making fun of the brunette, simply because the brunette was such a gullible piece of work.

"..."

Takano Masamune sunk lower on his seat, drilling a hole back at the ceiling. This was no laughing matter at all. He felt a jolt. A sudden piercing sensation somewhere around his chest that still ached once in a while since that night.

Bringing his idle hand deep into his unbuttoned polo, he pulled the chain around his neck out, with the pathetic pendant dangling before his eyes. He stared at it for a while. That small, cold unfeeling metal had been a sleek silver ten years ago. And now, even in the dark he could tell, the gloss had been washed off. T'was now a lonely piece of metal, waiting whether its purpose would come or it should just be thrown off in the ocean too.

"You know what?" Takano started, as though the pendant would talk to him in return. "I've become acquainted with such a funny fellow. You know why he's funny? Both of you follow jerks."

Takano chuckled a bit as he slightly shook the chain, the key swinging gently.

"Both of you have the same eyes. Stalker streaks to be exact."

The man slowly let the pendant fall back to its place against his chest.

"Yeah...stalker streaks..." the man sighed. "That guy...he really...he really bothers me a lot Ritsu."

Blindly looking back at the muted television before his eyes, Takano plunged back at the past, mingling it with the present. He'd taken it for granted back in the days when he still had it. He had never noticed how beautiful it looked when just one thing from him made that stupid Ritsu all happy and content.

"He seems utterly into his older brother," Takano slightly laughed, flicking the key on his chest with his finger gently. "Forget them being both guys just like us...they're siblings on top of that. It's complicated as hell I could guess and I don't really should give a damn...but..."

But Shio arouses his curiosity. His eyes follow him even if he didn't mean to. He throws him off the loop. Shio messes with Takano's calm without the former even knowing it. He steals a portion of Takano's mind that should have been only for Ritsu. It seems like everything was starting to fall into the wrong places. And he had to do something about it.

Put a distance.

It was probably his fault that he involved himself to Shio's business due to that rising curiosity. But, it's probably best if he dropped a distance starting soon. He'd never really been interested with someone else all these years and the fact that he was starting to notice, really feel Shio's presence, was awful. He didn't want to appear and feel that he was throwing Ritsu again for somebody else just like how he left him alone in the sea for a fucking short time with a girl he just met.

"You're still coming back right?" he whispered. "Someone's going to steal me from you...go hurry idiot."

The raven closed his eyes, smiling at the stupidity spilling off his mouth. He hadn't drank a drop of alcohol yet he was spouting shit like a drunkard.

"Just kidding..."

Slowly reaching for the remote, he abruptly turned the television off and instantly got enveloped in a searing darkness. His eyes groped for light and finally, after a few seconds, adjusted to the dimness. Silhouettes and still shadows surrounded him. An an equal emptiness came surfacing.

"Don't tell me you found someone else to stalk in the ten years you're gone?"

Takano began chuckling again. But there was not a trace of humor in it. It sounded lacking of energy. Forced. Sad. It all dawned at the same time that the thought wasn't entirely impossible. If anything, it could be the most plausible thing to happen.

"You have no idea how many elite women I've turned down, just because this key doesn't fit their doors."

Slowly closing his eyes, the slightest hues of darkened hazel searched the bare ceiling before finally shutting out to everything. Takano was tired but he keeps on doing it anyway, like a penance, a prayer.

Waiting. It was both painful and exhausting.

It wasn't obvious at all. Given how he'd mastered and calculated his expressions, his actions. Yet the truth was as prominent as the fact that when there's no light, it's dark.

"Ten years is revenge enough..."

The more he waits, the more he hurts.

Everything was going smoothly. So peaceful and quiet in general that it all seemed like a lie. Although Shin had already came into terms regarding Shio; that he just cared for him as a person regardless of the lies and darkness surrounding them, their everyday life with the exclusion of their cold war, remained the same. They go to Umi Gari to work. They go home to rest. Nothing grand.

Right. On the outside, there was nothing grand. It was entirely a different story in its opposite though.

Haitani Shin remained observing his glass of whisky. The natural color of the drink and the ice melting inside made it look like a golden-red flame served to burn down his throat. Around him, merry chatters and laughter floated together with the very mellow and soft jazz music. Jazz was not to his liking but he actually appreciated the music now more than ever as it allowed him to distract himself from unnecessary thoughts.

"..."

The bartender in front of Shin had a very amused expression in his eyes, although his lack of facial movements would never show so.

Shin discreetly looked up, noticed the weird reflection in his long-time bartender friend's eyes and slowly looked to his right. To the right where Shio was sitting. The brunette was curiously sliding his finger over the rim of his own glass and would once in a while pop his finger in his mouth. Not being a drinker, the curiosity made him look like a child who was trying out a foreign toy for the first time. Shin suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.

It might have been dimly lit, might have been a usual occurrence specially to those drunks wallowing in problems, but it felt weird for Shin to have to see someone else see his brother do such a thing. In the end, Shin took his own drink and downed the entire contents before slamming the glass back down.

"Shio, that's your last one. I'm not carrying you home."

The brunette frowned a bit, obviously not happy with the demand but nodded anyway. He wasn't entirely drunk, having only three glasses. But he was tipsy enough not to bother about how he was acting in public. Not in the world would he just pop his fingers in his mouth in front of other people had he been completely sober.

After a minute, Shio stood and excused himself for the rest room. That was when Shin finally let out a firm scowl towards his good old friend.

"Sena, is seeing my brother such an amazing sight? You could practically drill a hole on his face."

The man who was still having an unnerving smirk leaned down, almost grinning right at Shin's mug.

"You don't resemble each other at all," the man named Sena mumbled meaningfully. "I wouldn't be surprised had you introduced him to me as your live-in partner instead. That's way more convincing, being the Bi you are."

An instant cold air surrounded Shin. Even when he just sat there quietly staring back at his empty glass, the intensity in his gaze made this Sena look around his own work place to slowly move away from a seemingly land mine he just found himself standing on.

"We're packed again today..." Sena forcibly cheered. "Great business as usual...Haha..."

It wasn't really a big and popular bar to be exact. The interior wasn't striking too to be put up to the A-listers' destinations. Maybe because it was an open-air kind of bar, on top of a three-story building that made it a bit different from the rest. It may looked cramped, but the freely flowing air made it feel spacious and alive. Not to mention the roofing made of glass allowed the drinkers to freely watch an ongoing drizzle over their heads.

"Your jokes aren't funny," Shin exhaled irritably, pushing his glass towards the bartender for a refill. "I wouldn't have brought him here if he didn't insist so much. He almost got into an accident a few days ago and says this is to celebrate his second life...he could really be weird."

Sena mildly smiled, nodding at a regular customer who just passed by. He thoughtfully then did his job and then pushed the glass back to Shin. "You complain like that but you're both here anyway. Usually at a Saturday night like this, you'd be saddled with someone else. I'm just really surprised...you don't fit in the 'caring-brother type'."

"Am not."

After some time, when the remaining ice cubes in Shin's glass melted and a tainted water remained at the bottom of the glass, Sena nodded to the other bartender on the other counter signalling that he's taking a break. He took his apron off, threw it on a hook and took his thick glasses off his eyes to rest them too.

"Let's change topics then," Sena breathed out, this time softer and subtler. "You're acting really strange since earlier. Why the grim face?"

It was obvious how the slanting eyes briefly faltered. Shin suddenly could remember the sound of a hiss of breath, warming up the slope of his neck. He cringed and thought the memory to be a total crap but that very crap was undeniably the entire thing occupying his brains that night. Round and round, it was circling in his head and he'd tried forgetting it, but he couldn't.

Shin sighed, hesitantly admitting to himself that it was really one heck of a disturbing scene.

"Just had a nightmare."

At any other point in time, it would have been a nice dream. Lately, Shin was always having dreams related to his business, or mostly random scenes of places that abruptly get cut before it gets any sense. So something a little different, a little spice on the side wouldn't hurt. He was a man after all, and he's not short of partners to choose from but he's just too busy to meet up with them.

It would have been a nice dream, really. A good way for some release after being slumped with stress. But it wouldn't really be one in this case. Not when he could clearly and plainly see himself tearing off his so-called brother Shio's clothes, with his own greedy hands. Not when he could see his own face in his own dream masked with lust.

"..."

The start was already strange. Shio had been crying. For some reason the brunette in his dream was crying and looked really hurt, but instead of approaching his brother to comfort or console the latter, he shoved his brother forcefully down the floor. And the next things that came after that, Shin had wanted to look away but he can't and he had wanted to wake himself but he couldn't.

He watched himself, in almost nauseating vividness how he was trying to force his way to his miserable brother. And the strangest thing of it all was it seemed like the little and useless attempts of Shio to refuse him only unnecessarily fanned his desire.

"..."

There was no voice. Shio seemed to have been screaming, pleading. But there was not a sound, not a drop that he could hear. What his dream only allowed him to hear were harsh and hot breaths, pained breathing and muffled sobs.

As much as it bothered him, it scared and distracted him like nothing else. It had only been a dream, thank goodness it was. But his palm could still achingly remember how hard he had gripped his brother's arm. How much in contrast the soft skin had been against his rough hands. And how strong he'd been, totally dominating, controlling and manipulating over his green-eyed brother who could do nothing but stare wide eyed at him. And even those panic stricken gaze had been a pleasure for himself.

When after all the struggles rendered Shio tired and he pathetically laid on the ground, shivering, Shin saw his own lips twist in a small smile. It looked so deranged that he could only gape as he watched himself lean forward, reaching out his right hand to the couple of hair that was sticking to the brunette's neck due to sweat.

He let his fingers weave through the silky texture before abruptly yanking them up. A scrunch of pain passed the brunette's face as he pulled the other forward by gripping the brunette's hair.

Slowly, the deranged dream panned closer.

Shin swallowed hard and he felt himself grow rigid at the realization of where this was leading to. He was pulling his brother's face close, his own eyes boring intensely at the green-eyed man's slightly moist lips, half open in protest to the pain in his scalp.

It was there. Their lips touching barely.

Before his mouth sealed Shio's in what could have been a ravishing assault, Shin found himself running after his breath, eyes towards the bright ceiling of his room.

"Fucking...deranged dream that was..." Shin hissed. His tone sounded dead serious and though disgust was not one of the things plaguing his mind, the fact that he just had that dream was no good news.

Sena rubbed his chin, thoughtfully eyeing his friend's strangeness. "Is it really a nightmare?"

"Huh? Didn't I say so?"

"I just saw rabid lust in your eyes, seriously."

"Ha?"

"How many years had we known each other? Not to mention the number of times we went crazy together with both men and women, I know every flicker of those eyes and sometimes...you have that wild scary air that probably is what most of the people find hard to resist in you. Everyone loves a little devil in a man after all...or so they say."

Shin nodded, sarcastically grinning at being lectured how he's got really low morals after all.

"Did you bang someone in that nightmare of yours? Should we even call that a nightmare?"

"Shut up."

"Heh...keeping all the goodies from me huh?"

"Will you just shut up and give me a couple blocks of ice?"

The bartender winked. "What? To cool down your passion?"

"No. So I can shove them wholly down your throat."

Sena burst out laughing. Even the other customers shot them surprised and curious looks.

Watching Sena then move out of the counter to check on some of his other friends he spotted across the open area, Shin found himself in the company of silence once again. The brief banter he just had with his stupid friend made him slightly feel better. Although he was still as frustrated as when he woke up that day.

The man distantly stared at his glass, with an unappetizing melted ice in its bottom. Gradually shifting his dark gaze, he caught sight of the other glass on the counter next to him. It was Shio's margarita and it remained half-consumed. He began to wonder what was taking the guy so long when all he said was he would just go to the restroom.

"..."

Annoyed by the snickering Sena was doing earlier, Shin mindlessly grabbed Shio's glass and downed the drink all in one go. Truth be told, he probably knew where the sudden dream came from. Or to be exact, he finally remembered where it could have come from.

It must have started, five days back when he touched Shio's shoulder out of relief that the latter was safe.

"..." Shin narrowed his eyes, disgusted at the diluted taste of alcohol in his tongue.

It was no secret that he'd despised the sudden fake brother that appeared in his life. Had he known the consequences of being the good samaritan ten years ago, he probably wouldn't have been so eager and frantic into pulling that almost dead body out of the sea to safety.

He hated the no-name brunette who little by little assumed his innocent dead brother's identity to save his grandmother's sanity back then. It was not the fake Shio's fault, but when there was no one to blame for his real brother's complete erasure on earth, the natural flow of anger would obviously rush down to the closest and the proof of all the lies they had made up.

"..."

He must have abhorred the kid from the depths of his soul. He really did. But would too much anger and hatred towards one person produce an all new different sensation? Since that kid had awoken, he'd been too weak to do anything by himself. And the older caring brother act had to come together. Somewhere along the lines, Shin unwantingly realized, noticed out of the blue that the fake Shio in their house had a strange air around him akin to an irrisistible scent.

Shin was only around eighteen that time. He had no idea what to do with himself when the person he disliked the most, the soul he despised of all, was becoming weirdly attractive.

"You wouldn't find me disgusting?" Shin could still hear his own sad tone, during that time when his real blood brother was still healthy enough for them to walk slowly out their yard. It was a little conversation they had before the real Shio gave out to death.

"It must be hard to understand but that's the way I've been born I guess..."

"I'm already fifteen. Don't treat me like I don't understand a thing Nii-chan."

"..."

"So you go both ways...I see..."

"..."

"Then Nii-chan," the younger one started, his large brown eyes eager. "... you have this obsessive attachment to long, black-haired girls since I can remember. Is it the same with guys?"

Shin could feel his eyes slightly sting that time. He had worried over and over how he'd tell his brother that he was a little different. But there his brother was, accepting it like nothing, asking him the questions that he never thought his younger brother would even bring up.

"Uhm...I've never really thought about it...hmm...I guess light brown hair? You know how I love ruffling Teru's fur right?"

Shio had raised a brow, although his lips were in a smile. "Nii-chan...don't compare a person to our dog."

"And...remember that jade in mom's necklace?"

"Yeah!" Shio beamed excitedly. "It's so pretty! When the light hits through it, it makes those green shining thread-like reflections. We both could stare at it for so long back then and we never grew tired of it."

"Eyes the same as that green jade, would really strike me dead serious."

It was such a distant memory of how open Shin had been to the past Shio, contrary to how tight-lipped he was with the current one.

Was he being toyed with or tested that his 'new' brother be someone he'd really be interested in had they met in a different time and in a different circumstance?

Back then, feeling physically attracted to the person he hated was so maddening that he began rarely going back home since he started university.

He's avoided the kid as much as he could and hated the same from a distance.

That cycle had been repeated over and over until Shin gradually succeeded in burying that deterring physical attraction somewhere far. He'd managed to only focus on his dislike and hate for the fake. It had been a nice barrier then and everything was smooth sailing. But the moment he thought Shio was dying twice in this lifetime, he had driven through out the city, scurrying like a mad man before almost falling in relief when Shio was just there, walking calmly back to their apartment building.

That moment he had reached out and firmly held on to Shio's shoulder five days ago when he thought that the latter had been involved in a dire accident, whimsically awakened the other things he didn't find himself so comfortable with.

Just when he finally solely wanted to be fair and be a decent older brother for a change, those confessions that would have better stayed in the past, came surging back now.

"Oi...Shin?"

The man being called blinked, somewhat distracted. When his vision adjusted to reality, Sena was back behind the counter, obviously highly suspicious with him now.

"Was the nightmare so bothersome you stare into space without blinking?"

"Uhg...don't stick your face so close to mine."

"Ha, are you in love or something? 'Coz seriously I don't believe you have the capacity to feel that way." Sena huffed as he stood back straight, starting to busy himself. "That's your inner perversions right? Go have your way to whoever it is in your nightmare," he mindlessly and dirtily joked. "... or otherwise you'll never be at peace."

Shin smiled menacingly as he stood from his seat, slamming down paperbills down the counter as he did so.

"No thanks."

The tall man then walked away, whispering something that Sena failed to catch.

"...I don't intend to add rape or incest in the long list of my crimes."

chapter end notes:

i am actually happy right now...'Strings' chappy is like a full-blown seme POV, if you noticed. i really write when i don't intend to do one. LoL. it should only be one chapter all in all but i didn't want to cramp all in so i'd post the second part of this chappy in the next update instead.

thanks a bunch people for the support. XD share your thoughts! :)

~~~shuusetsu