Some Random IM: I though you said two months?
Me: Uh... What?
SRIM: Shudder. You said two months.
Me: That... was a typo. I meant two years...?
So... This chapter was kinda hard to get through. I have this weird thing where once the characters get together I lose all interest. But! I found a new drive to get these two together and voila, two years later I update... I'm the worst fanfic writer/updater ever...
So much love to Ugawa for beta-ing this story after the long long break. And my gratitude to DarkAngelJudas for randomly sending me PM's to get off my bum and continue. My eternal appreciation to every reviewer this story has. Seriously. I love you all.
Chapter Eleven
Gaara
I was still only a child, but I knew others looked at me with a type of hunger in their eyes. A hunger that made a sick feeling settle in my stomach and fear roll through me. I didn't know much about life, about money, about sex. In a month I would know about all three. Sex was just a way to make money. Or earn food. I was grateful for either. After all, I was still only a child.
I met Sai two weeks after the first time I'd been paid to let a man screw me. I rarely talked at that point, all my extra weight was gone, I trusted no one, hated everyone, I mostly hated myself for what I did just to eat, just so I could be warm even for a moment. My age, small stature, and wide, oddly colored eyes made me a target for those who, I realized later on, should be locked up or thrown into a shallow grave. Those same attributes made me a target for the older street walkers, as well. Countless times I'd put myself through a hell that would haunt me for the rest of my life. All for a tiny bit of cash that was taken away by one of the older whores who people rarely stopped for anymore. The women were especially nasty to me, as if I represented something in their lives they'd rather have gone. I figured I was taking the abuse directed at their own children. I met Sai when one who would constantly harass me showed up my first Christmas on the street. She called herself Blu. I hated everything about her. The overly bleached hair still stuck in the 80's, her sunken brown eyes, her body that was nothing but sagging skin and bones. I hated her, but figured that a life like ours probably created what she was and underneath that hate, I pitied her.
She had just left two long scratch marks across my cheek when he showed up, twisted her arm behind her back and made her return my money. With interest in the form of all her cash and drugs. She struggled for a moment then tossed all she had at my feet. The pale youth then shoved her away and promised to tie her to a cement brick at the bottom of the river if he ever caught her harassing me again. I never saw Blu again. I tensed up and watched him carefully as he gathered all the drugs -a baggie of pills, some weed and what looked like some kind of powder- and tossed them down the drainage ditch. This act was answered with a mad wailing from a sixteen-year-old prostitute standing in the mouth of the alley, staring at him as though she was possessed. He then scooped up all the cash and stuffed it in my pocket.
"What's rollin', kitty cat?" I stared at him with blank eyes and waited for the punch other boys usually gave me before taking all my stuff. He just continued to stare down at me with his disturbing smirk and dark eyes. "Geez. Cat, you have the saddest eyes I've ever seen. At least you still look like you've got a soul. Let's go get a bite to eat, yeah?" I followed him closely as he led the way to an all night diner. Not only was I curious about him, but he was the only one to ever come to my rescue. I didn't want to be too far from him just yet.
.:.:.:.:.
"Merry Christmas, Cat." Sai called out his special nickname for me and smiled his creepy smile, making his way over to me, though I wished he would just go away. I wasn't afraid of being out here anymore, in fact sometimes I longed for some unfortunate accident to befall me, just so I could leave this pathetic life behind, because, to be honest, life out here was not a life at all. But I knew it also paid to have friends. If it was cold and you had no where to go, pairing up with another street walker could just bring in enough cash to find a cheap seedy room. And since Sai had taught me the ropes of this life, I knew I could trust him. Somewhat. Though no one else would because of his creepy fake ass smiles and perverted attitude.
"Is it that time already?" I asked absently, watching the snowfall, wishing I would be picked up again already to get out of the cold. I'd been out here long enough to realize that the holidays were actually a pretty good time for us, money wise, because most people didn't want to be alone on a holiday. Something about our society made those alone feel unwanted, so those alone came to get us. And I wasn't complaining. The money I'd pulled in last Christmas was enough to keep me in a crappy motel room for two and a half months.
"Not too many stopping for me tonight." He announced, leaning against the wall beside me. "A few approaches but only one pick up. This economy is ruining me."
"I've gotten two." I sighed just as a black Jeep pulled up in front of us. I approached the window as it lowered, peeking in to see an overweight balding man eyeing me like a piece of ham. "Hi there." I greeted, flashing an attempt at a smile. He licked his lips.
"How much?" His voice made me sick.
"Hundred to get me, fifty for each hour after that," I whispered. His smile made a shiver run down my spine. He looked like an animal ready to rip my throat out.
"Get in." I waved at Sai, making him grimace and give me a sympathetic look, and hopped in beside the most disgusting Christmas gift I'd ever received. I glanced out the window to see Sai jot the license plate number down. The guy made me nervous enough to warrant the extra precaution. I paid attention to the road as the man eyed me with a slimy smile every chance he got. He pulled up to a condemned looking building that I knew would be renting rooms at an hourly rate for dirt-cheap prices. I jumped out and followed him inside while he talked to the man behind the bulletproof window. I nodded as Matsuri rushed down the hall, fixing her shirt and tossing me a half-hearted wave.
"What's up with the creeps tonight?" she whispered, glancing at the man I was with. Her body gave a twitch of disgust. "He could be the twin of the guy I just left in there. Be careful. If he's anything like my creep, he wants it rough." She rubbed her neck and wrapped a scarf designed to be decorative not functional around her neck and rushed from the building as the slime ball grabbed my wrist and dragged me down the hall.
Opening a door he flung me into the room. "Alright, whore." He grabbed me by the hair and forced me on my knees and my head back. "I'll give you two hundred for an hour if you do everything I say exactly as I say." He hissed, tongue sliding up my cheek. I moaned and looked up at him with scared eyes, though no part of me was. I knew that's what he wanted. "Good boy. Now cry." Forced tears slid down my face as he slammed his fingers into my throat and guided my hand to his already hard dick.
Merry fucking Christmas.
.:.:.:.:.
My eyes flew open and took in the familiar spacious apartment as my heart thudded loudly in my chest. "I'm okay," I whispered. I clutched at my chest and sat up. "I'm okay." I looked around and found I was still in the apartment I viewed as heaven. The beige carpet still beneath me, the dark wooded entertainment stand lined the wall with various Disney movies lining its shelves, the whitewalls covered in photographs and a child's drawings. The same comfortable couch and loveseat, the beat up coffee table in front of them littered with books. The toy chest was still in the corner, toys just barely contained within it. The bookshelf still held the tiny toy soldiers posed in a battle forgotten by the three-year-old earlier in the week. There was still a crack in the wall where the 21-year-old and his friend slammed into it wrestling around. This was still my home. And memories of a life I could never imagine returning to did not exist here. I would not allow it. I was someone different here. I was no longer that person. Because I was happy here. They had made me happy here.
My favorite golden-haired man lay asleep next to me on the floor, his arms still wrapped around my waist. I bit my lip and sighed, bending down to kiss my blue-eyed savior gently as the memories of last years Christmas played over again in my head. That guy had hurt me pretty good. The money he'd paid me wasn't worth it, my body had been sore for a week and disturbing images would jump into my head at every possible moment for a month. I felt sick just thinking about it. And once more, I tried to banish the memory. I let it slip away. I would replace it with new ones. I wasn't even sure why I had dreamed of those things - I hadn't since I'd been here. I shook it off and tried to push the memories of that part of my life away.
When I first awoke in this apartment I had thought three things about the man who had took me in, and I knew that the second was true. I had wandered into a perfect fairy tale. Naruto had saved me. Saved me from a life that would've been sure to kill me and brought me to this wonderful… happiness. I felt so safe with him. My life before meeting this tiny family could be forgotten so easily if I would allow myself to let it go. With this little family's help I could let go, if I could just figure out how. They both had made it clear now that they wanted me to be part of their lives. Konohamaru asking me to be his mama and Naruto asking me to just be his. My heart sped up again. He wanted me to be his.
Beautiful blue eyes slid open as I gazed down at him, taking my breath away, an incredible dance of fireworks going off inside me and making me speak. "God…"
"Wow," he whispered, blinking once or twice before sitting up and kissing me gently. "This is real. It wasn't a dream." A dazzling smile lit up his eyes as he kissed me a little harder, brushing my hair from my eyes as he pulled back. "It wasn't." I didn't know I could feel so happy. I didn't think it was possible for anyone to feel as happy as I was feeling. How could I deserve something so unbelievably amazing? How could my heart even continue beating? "Merry Christmas," Naruto whispered to me softly, bronzed hand cupping my cheek while heart breaking blue gazed into my eyes lovingly, a warmth reaching out from them and settling into me, while blue, green and red from the tree danced in his eyes, giving him a beautiful glowing innocence.
Our lips met softly and I thought to myself that I would never get enough of him. Not even if I'd had a hundred lives… A thousand. I would still crave more of him. I would still need him near me to make my heart pound, to take my breath away, to look at me as though I were amazing… As though I was beautiful.
From the first night he brought me into his home we had been dancing around this, our feelings burdening us while lifting us up. The way I felt for him was set to happen, the love I felt so deeply for his child was predetermined, as if I had no other choice but to love him. To love the beautiful man before me. But then, what other choice had there been? They offered a love so pure that not even the wicked could refuse them. Not even one so undeserving as I. They took me in. They got me out of a life I hated but needed. They accepted me for me, not judging me because of my past. It was more than anyone had ever done for me in my entire life.
We both jumped as a squeal of delight sounded out from the hallway, breaking up the embarrassing thoughts that clouded my mind. I smiled and looked over my shoulder to see an adorable Konohamaru bouncing up and down in the hallway, his face not seeming large enough to hold the grin that grew bigger every second. The pile of presents, however, was ignored as he jumped into his papa's lap and covered his face in his tiny hands, peeking at me through his fingers. "Gaawa, you tiss papa." My face flared. "I saw it. I saw you tiss!" The excitement in his voice made me smile. "Now I can call you-"
"Oh, what's this?" Naruto jumped onto the pile of presents interrupting his son's adorable freak out, pulling out a brightly ribboned one and handing it to the toddler with a very obvious blush staining his golden cheeks. There was excitement from him all over again. I watched as Konohamaru opened each gift and thought of how easily he was pleased. Every gift he opened was the greatest gift to him. Nothing was too bland or boring, even the clothes he received were opened with excitement. Naruto's face crumpled into confusion as he counted out the presents, lowering the camera for the first time since Konohamaru had ripped into the first present. "Um… Did you?" An amused look erased the confusion. I nodded and Konohamaru squealed at the Disney movies he didn't have that I had wrapped together carefully. His delight made me so happy I thought I was going to be sick.
The sad remains of wrapping paper littered the floor after the three-year-old finished. I sighed and got up to go get a trash bag but a strong hand on my wrist stopped me. I glanced down at Naruto to see a large brightly wrapped gift lay in his lap. "This is from the two of us." The tiny brunet giggled happily and wiggled closer to his papa and me, managing to sit on both our laps, clearly excited about what was in the box. I grabbed the gift and shook it slightly, not that it gave me any idea, I just loved seeing the impatient but oh-so-excited look on the three-year-old's face, mimicked perfectly by his papa. I smiled and pulled the red and silver paper off of the box slowly.
The three-year-old crawled over to me excitedly. "Nee me hel' you?" he asked.
I laughed and let him pull the lid off of the plain white garment box. A soft charcoal turtle neck greeted me. I pulled it out and discovered a red scarf, gloves and black slouchy knit cap beneath it. "I wasn't exactly sure what you would want, but you don't seem to have any hats or gloves and the turtleneck… would look amazing on you." Something shiny under the red scarf caught my eye. I gently pushed it aside and heard myself give a small noise akin to a gasp. "But that… was Konohamaru's suggestion."
I lifted the heavy silver frame and felt myself shudder. It was a picture of the three of us from Naruto's birthday party. Smiling happily, Konohamaru's face squished between the blond's and mine. I didn't remember this picture being taken but judging from the somewhat uncomfortable, yet happy, surprised look on my face I don't think I was aware that it was going to be taken. "Thank you," I whispered. "This… This is…" Naruto just smiled and kissed his son on the top of his head.
"You're welcome." He smiled at me. "There are more from the party, but this is the one Konohamaru wanted to give you specifically." There were no words that I could give. Konohamaru giggled happily and kissed me on the cheek then nuzzled his papa's nose before jumping off our laps and busying himself with his gifts.
Naruto sighed with a smile on his face, standing up and began to clean the aftermath. I walked to the kitchen to start breakfast, practically floating. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. It was as if I was experiencing these holidays for the first time. Like my life before the blond and his child was just some insignificant dream.
I was wrist deep in whole grain flour when warm tanned arms wrapped around my waist. "Thank you." His deep voice whispered gruffly into my ear, setting my blood on fire. Oh, if he only knew what he was doing to me.
"For what?" I mumbled around my excitement.
He lifted his arm. The dark metal Fossil watch I'd left for him under the tree was displayed on his wrist; the perfect color to complement his bronzed skin. "Maybe this will help me be on time for once." He kissed me. "Though you've been great in that department." I smiled and he released me, pouring himself a cup of coffee before coming back to me, turning me gently by the waist. "But the best gift…" He whispered kissing me again, sliding his tongue into my all too willing mouth. My arms wrapped around him, pulling us closer together while his mouth turned me into mush, making me sorry when he pulled me away. "The best gift is just being able to kiss you."
I smiled again and tried to pull him down for another kiss but a knock on the door made us pause. Naruto heaved a sigh, gave me a quick kiss and turned to answer the persistent and frantic visitor. I gave a small smile at the flour handprints on his back and turned to my dough, trying to calm down my violently beating heart. The cheerful greetings from the door told me Kiba had arrived and, though it was early, was as loud and happy as he always was.
"Merry Christmas!" Kiba boomed walking into the kitchen carrying three oddly wrapped packages. "This one's for you, red." He smiled as I rolled my eyes at the nickname I knew I would never be rid of, and accepted the small gift. He ruffled my hair, gave a toothy grin and walked into the living room, greeting the excited Konohamaru just as enthusiastically. I smiled and looked at the gift in my hands. It was wrapped in a sheet of newspaper with twine for the ribbon, both rough and endearing. I opened it and was greeted with a robot. I wiped my hands on a towel and pulled it out of its box. It was the size of my palm and had a small clock in its chest. I smiled and pulled the clock out to set it to discover a tiny red heart painted in with the gears. I gazed at my discovery and wondered how Kiba had got this gift so spot on. The shaggy brunet made me wonder sometimes.
After the four of us had eaten, Kiba rushed us all to get ready. I took my gifts to my room and placed the robot clock and picture on my nightstand. I smiled at the first picture I'd seen of myself in years. In the picture I noticed Naruto's eyes were pointed my way. I looked closer and saw that so were Konohamaru's. My smile just grew as I turned to my dresser. The picture made me feel as though I was important to them. More important than I realized and as that thought ran through my head another one followed on its heels. Just how long had I been important to them? When had they begun to see as more than the babysitter? How long had I been so ignorant of something made so obvious now that I had a picture to point it out? I shook the thought from my head, certain that, once again, I was making something out of nothing. After pulling on a pair of dark blue skintight jeans, I donned the turtleneck. Staring at my mirror, I admired the way the gift looked on me. It fit perfectly, the dark fabric highlighting my skin, giving it a porcelain look and enhanced my eyes settled in the mass of black eyeliner. I loved the shirt for making me seem almost beautiful. Well, that and the fabric just felt so wonderfully soft against my skin.
A soft knock on the door barely pulled my attention away from the mirror. "Come in," I responded softly, tilting my head at my reflection, trying to find a flaw in my clothing. The blond stepped into my room, eyes lighting up as they caught sight of me, and a strong sexual grin tilted the corners of his mouth up. A feeling of pure warmth spread through me. The way his eyes roamed my body filled me with excitement, and put me on the edge of jumping him right in my doorway. I'm sure if Kiba hadn't been in the apartment, I would have tried, but I held myself in check, though it nearly killed me to do so. I was so captured by his face that it took me a minute to realize he was wearing black pants and a dark blue shirt. I shivered in delight. I had only seen him in light colors, nothing darker than light blue and these dark clothes made his eyes appear darker, seductive…
"It does look amazing on you." He smiled, putting his hands in his pockets and leaning back against the door, confidence oozing off him. And that just made him all the more attractive. It was almost like a little challenge his body seemed to make with anyone within eyesight. Just try to come and get it. It's worth it if you do. It seemed unintentional, but I wasn't sure. "I just wanted to ask you a question."
"If you think we should tell everyone about…"
"Us?" He walked over to me, capturing my lips in a quick, gentle kiss." Because I think we should. I want to tell everyone." I smiled at his excitement. "This is one of the greatest feelings I've ever felt. I can't imagine trying to keep this all in." He kissed me once more, his tongue exploring my mouth more thoroughly than ever. I responded just as passionately, my hands weaving into his golden hair. There was nothing more perfect to me. I pulled away and gazed into his eyes so full of happiness. It made my heart pound.
"I think we should wait," I whispered. His eyes clouded over with confusion. "I've never done this relationship thing before. I just think we should take it slow… Be discreet. Maybe try to keep it from Konohamaru as much as we can." Understanding pushed the confusion from his eyes. He nodded but still seemed uneasy.
"Is this payback for refusing to sleep with you last night?" he asked. I grimaced. Once again my attempt to seduce him failed spectacularly. He pretty much said there was no way he would sleep with me. It wouldn't be right. It would be illegal to sleep with me. I didn't dare mention that having a relationship with me was probably just as illegal. "Because I think that might be hitting below the belt."
I rolled my eyes. "That and this are two separate things, Naruto. I just want this to work…" He smiled and pressed a kiss to my lips.
"Alright. Discreet." He made a face, making me smile again.
The question was out of my mouth before I even knew I was thinking it. "Naruto… Where's the awkwardness?"
His left eyebrow rose. "Come again?"
I elaborated. "We just decided to have this… relationship… I feel like this morning should've been… Like… How do I explain? We're comfortable with each other already. You don't hesitate to kiss me. Neither of us hesitates. Don't get me wrong, but I don't think it's supposed to be this… smooth."
Blue eyes filled with amusement. "And the first few months you lived here were what?" I felt the left side of my lips tilt up in a half-smile. "We've been through awkwardness. We know what we want. And I know I'm too afraid of letting you slip away to hesitate anymore. Because when I hesitate, I try to talk my way out of things and we both know how that goes." He flashed a cheesy grin at me. I smiled and our lips met one final time before he left the room
Naruto
I closed the door on the beautiful redhead that was testing my self-control. Those pleading teal eyes had almost made me give in last night. My body had responded so well to his touch, his beautiful eyes, if he had just kept asking… if he had just kept working his charm, I would've taken him. There was no doubt in my mind about that. I would've taken him right there in the living room in front of the tree. Again and again until both of us turn to puddles of satisfied ooze. But he'd accepted my explanation and I cursed myself for it, because, honestly, I was the only one to blame for that. I knew I couldn't deny him a second time if he tried it again. Though, I would probably be the one to start it this time. I wanted that pale body all to myself. I wanted to see if all the things I'd imagined were true.
I laughed.
They were probably even better.
I shivered and turned off my thoughts as I walked into my three-year-old's room. "Hey, little one. Are you almost ready."
He beamed up at me, struggling with a pair of dorky looking Santa socks. "Yeah. Chiba hel' me get jessed." I reached down and helped him tug on his goofy socks that were no doubt a gift from his lame, loudmouthed uncle.
"You should thank Chiba then." I smiled and looked up at my friend. I paused when I spotted a very creepy mischievous grin plastered on his face. It sent a wave of worry and grief through me because I knew, more than anyone else, that his mischievous grin meant trouble, deep trouble, usually for me. "Uh… What's up with the shit eating grin?" I asked, a little worried. Konohamaru laughed.
"Shit."
I spun around and stared at my child. "No. No. Papa didn't say that. Uh, crap, um, he just…" I floundered.
"Papa said ship Konohamaru. With a 'p'. Like Captain Hook's ship." Gaara saved me, holding the little brunet's thick winter coat up as he walked into the room. He threw me a grin that made my heart race. I gulped. It was amazing how one minute he seemed all sweet and innocent, then seemed to be screaming he could school me in the fine art of seduction.
"Oh…Ship." Konohamaru grinned up at his nanny. "Why woul' Chiba eat that?" he asked.
"I imagine he's eaten worse." The teenager smiled at my little son as he pulled his coat on, before turning and making a face at Kiba and I. "That's freaking me out." He pointed to the still smiling brunet. "Seriously." I just shrugged. He knew as much about it as I did. "I couldn't find his hat. Do you know if it's- Ah. Here it is." He pulled the little knit cap over the wild brown hair.
"Alright! Let's hit the road!" Kiba shouted through his smile.
"What's the rush?" I asked, leading us to the living room.
"I'm just hungry."
"We just ate." Gaara lifted the three-year-old as I put on my coat before handing him to me so that he could do the same. I smiled as he put on the new hat I'd gotten him and wrapped the long red scarf around his neck. I felt the sudden, crippling urge to kiss him, but held back because I knew that's what he wanted. I would give him anything he wanted if I could. It was frustrating. I had just won the ability to kiss him and now I had to sneak around to get one. I wasn't sure I liked the idea of being discreet. I sighed, and followed the antsy Inuzuka down to the car. I laughed and unlocked the vehicle while Kiba jumped around. Once my little one was all buckled in, I climbed behind the driver's seat. "Alright here we go, since someone is so eager to see his mommy." Konohamaru giggled while Kiba just stuck his tongue out at me in the rear view mirror.
We were ten minutes into the drive when my shaggy brunet-friend started in on the small talk. "So, Red, do you know how to drive?"
"No."
"Why not?"
Gaara turned to look at him in the back seat. "I just never learned."
"Yeah. In the city driving is more of a hassle unless you've got to commute a lot. I actually prefer walking myself. I walk to school and work. I actually picked my apartment because of how close it was. I would've been right in between the two but all of the available apartments didn't allow dogs. How messed up is that? I mean they allow cats, snakes and venomous spiders, but they throw a fit about a puppy. You know, for such a dog friendly city, it sure is a pain in the a- elbow to find a rental that will let you have one. I just keep my car to get the ladies." I laughed at the rant I'd heard so many times before. "Anyway. What is it you want to do? Like career wise?"
Gaara wrinkled his nose and turned the question back onto the oddly talkative Kiba. "What is it that you do?"
"Me? Oh. I work at a law firm."
The redhead snorted. "Really?"
"Just as a runner."
"Runner?"
"Errand boy."
"Ah." Gaara snort, making my heart race. "Law didn't seem like your cup of tea.
"Oh god. I thought about studying law, but it's a way boring subject, to me anyway."
"So what are you studying?"
"I'm studying to be a nurse."
Teal eyes danced in amusement. "A nurse?"
"Yeah? So what? Nursing is good profession. And there are a lot of guys working as nurses."
"No no. That's not it. It's just I can't imagine your bedside manner. Better stay away from patients with heart conditions." I cracked up, inciting Konohamaru's lifting twinkle.
"I hate you guys." Kiba mumbled as it died down.
I smiled. "What's with all the small talk?" I asked, scratching my cheek, fighting the urge to reach over and grab a pale, slender hand.
"Oh, you know. I was just wanting to know more about the kid who's spending a lot of time with my two favorite guys."
"What's gotten into you?"
"Nothing. Nothing." Silence spread through the car, making the redhead visibly relax. We were twenty minutes from our destination when Kiba decided to pipe up again.
"Soooooooo… Konohamaru tells me you two were kissing this morning." Startled, I swerved slightly. Gaara gasped and I righted us easily, thankful no one else was on the highway for miles.
"They tiss a LOT." The three-year-old giggled, kicking his feet under the blanket draped over his lap. His little brown eyes caught mine in the rear view mirror, his childish joy at catching the two of us outweighed by his happiness.
"Oh-ho ho. A lot." Kiba burst out laughing.
"Well that explains the smile…" I muttered, somewhat happy the dog was out of the kennel.
"Yeah! In lee room and in the kishin!" My child exclaimed with excitement. I guess he wasn't as preoccupied as I had thought. Kiba's laugh just grew louder. I smiled and glanced over at Gaara. He bit his lip and looked at me with worry in his perfect teal eyes, hand reaching over to grab mine. I smiled and squeezed his chilly fingers gently. It worried me a bit that I couldn't tell how he felt about Kiba being in on the secret. Discreet was now out of the question with my talkative best friend in on it. It looked like he knew it, but was struggling to accept it.
"Awesome." Kiba announced as his laughter died down. "I can't wait to tell Hinata. She's gonna be ecstatic. She's been hoping that this would happen soon, even though she refused to join in the pool, she was absolutely positive that you two were going to get together. I'm happy for you, bro."
I sighed. Gaara wanted to keep it quiet… "Hey, wait a minute. You can't tell anyone."
"What?"
"I'm serious, Kiba. We want to wait. Be discreet." I grimaced at the word and pulled onto the side road that would take us to Kiba's mom's place, glancing at my friend's shocked face.
"Seriously?"
"Yes," Gaara answered him.
"Fine. Whatever," he replied grumpily.
"That goes for you too, Konohamaru. No more telling anyone." He nodded with a mad look on his face and stopped wiggling around. We drove down the bumpy road slowly in silence before something that Kiba said jumped back to the front of my mind. "Wait. What pool?"
"Oops."
"You guys were seriously betting on my love life?" I asked, somewhat shocked, mostly impressed. Usually I was the one who had to coerce everyone to bet on something.
"Well…I… Whatever. You used to do it to us all the time." I laughed and focused fully on the road before us. As soon as we got in sight of the house I kissed Gaara's hand and let it go.
He smiled at me as I pulled to a stop. I returned it, trying to control my feelings. I still wanted to tell everyone right away. One of the best things to happen to me and I had to keep it all to myself. It just didn't seem right. Didn't seem fair. Teal eyes gazed at me and I felt as if he understood what I was thinking, but it still wasn't going to change his mind. We all got out; Gaara grabbing the still mad-faced little one while I grabbed the gifts from the back.
"So I take it all holidays are spent here," Gaara stated walking up to the porch.
"Yup. All of us are here every holiday. No matter how bad the roads are. Been that way since I was young." I smiled and followed Kiba inside.
Tsunade greeted us happily on her way out to have a cigarette, obviously happy to see Gaara had come along. "There's the adorable redhead! You are just so beautiful!" She gushed, obviously a little tipsy. "I'm so glad you're here. We don't know you all that well, but we got you a gift, hoping you'd be here with our handsome boys." She smiled and pulled Konohamaru from Gaara's arms and squished him to her chest while kissing his cheek. The busty blonde set the toddler down and pulled the redhead into her arms as well. "Now you be real good to them," she mumbled drunkenly, released him, planted a liquor stained kiss on my cheek and waltzed out the door, humming merrily to herself.
"Okay…That was weird," I announced, taking my trio's coats and hanging them on the coat rack made of antlers before leading the way into the living room where everyone else was seated, pushing my slight jealousy out of my head. Jiraiya boomed with laughter as we walked into the spacious, cozy room. The air was buzzing with happiness and we were enveloped with warmth. I would never get used to my family. And I was grateful for every second.
Garaa
We were received warmly. Everyone glad that we were there. Everyone just happy to be together. I was almost jealous for not having the same thing growing up, but I knew if I had, there was no way I'd be here today. I smiled at the blond man, who's eyes were glued to me, a smile tugging his lips up whenever he caught my eye, making my breath leave in a hurry and my heart jump. I never thought I'd be thankful for a shitty childhood. Tsume and Hana received me with smiles, both crushing me with hugs. Jiraiya thumping me on the back hard enough to make me stagger slightly. There was a warm feeling in the air that made a smile of contentment settle on my lips. Konohamaru was the happiest in the room, though he'd occasionally look over at his papa and make a face. He bounced around the room, wanting to be held by everyone, wanting everyone to smile and kiss him. And everyone complied without hesitation. This was what Christmas was about.
I listened to stories of Christmases past, everybody shouting to be heard over everyone else. I laughed softly at each one. Most were of Naruto and Kiba's mischievous adventures. Naruto wrinkled his nose at me with a grin. I smiled at him and chuckled under my breath when he blushed, then turned my attention back to the white-haired man telling another wild story. "…Even with both their faces covered with ink they both denied it! When Minato asked them where it'd come from, Naruto made up an elaborate tale about an octopus that Kiba just agreed to!" I laughed and took another sip of the cider in my cup.
Tsume began telling another tale when I spotted Naruto's subtle signal. I tilted my head in question and he pointed slightly with his cup to the dining room. I smiled and nodded. He got up and smirked as he disappeared into the hallway. I counted to fifteen before standing without drawing attention to myself and slipped into the dining room. The beautiful blue-eyed god was waiting for me in the kitchen doorway. His seductive grin made my heart pound and my mind cloud over. His hand shot out and pulled me into his arms, taking my breath away. "We can't," I whispered against my will. I knew it needed to be said but I still didn't want to.
"Who's going to see?" His breath splashed over my face, making my toes curl in delight. The thought of getting caught was exciting. I shook my head clear. I had slept with many people, both men and women had lain with me in the most intimate way, despite that, I was still shaken by Naruto's simple glance. He made everything seem so new. A kiss was no longer just a kiss, it was a beautiful gift that he gave to me. It made me feel innocent, like no one existed before him. To me, in that moment, no one did. I stood on my tiptoes and closed the distance between our lips without second thought. Electricity flowed through me at the simple contact and my arms wrapped around his neck while stronger arms pulled me closer at the waist. I was so lost in this feeling I almost didn't notice my feet leave the ground entirely. His fingers pushed into the small of my back, making my excitement grow uncontrollably. He growled quietly and I had to stifle the moan that it incited. I wove my fingers into his silky blond hair and pulled him as close as I could, opening my mouth to his eager tongue. His fingers found their way inside my shirt, lighting a fire on the skin of my back that I knew only he could extinguish. I needed more. I wanted more. He was making a monster out of me. I let him dominate me in a sweet almost possessive way, his teeth pulling at my bottom lip, sucking on my tongue, exploring my mouth as far as his tongue could reach. I never knew how amazing a kiss could be. My feet met the floor again, my shirt was slowly pulled down, that sweet intoxicating mouth left mine, but the excitement refuse to budge. Deep blue eyes gazed into mine so full of emotion, his forehead resting against mine. I needed him to always look at me like that. If he ever stopped looking at me like I was something so amazing it took his breath away, I would almost certainly die. I tilted my face up to capture my newfound drug again.
"Don't stop on our account." I froze. Naruto went rigid, shock wiped away the emotion in his eyes before they squeezed shut.
"Fuck," I whispered under my breath and turned to see the entire gathering staring at us from the dining room entrance. The faces were all smiling, but the smile that caught my eye was Konohamaru's. The little boy's smile was so sweet and full of unabashed happiness that it took my breath away. Hana and Kiba laughed, Tsume whooped, Tsunade and Jiraiya just smiled at us with warm eyes.
"Finally!" The Inuzuka woman exclaimed together. I smiled at my feet and Naruto's warm hand grabbed mine. It seemed like keeping it a secret was shot.
"You know it's kind of suspicious when two people so obviously hiding feelings for each other disappear for five minutes." Jiraiya laughed, his hand ruffling Naruto's golden hair before reaching down to pat me on the shoulder.
"Their plan was to hide it from everyone." Kiba announced.
"You knew and didn't say anything?" His mother turned on him, swatting him in the leg.
"Hey! Ouch, mom! Konohamaru's the one who told me! Get after him!" I laughed lowly and covered my eyes with my hand momentarily. I had had a feeling that the idea was doomed from the start. I just thought we could keep it under wraps for a little longer, though. I looked up at the man who had completely captured me and was met with eyes of joy.
"I guess that plan is shot to hell," Naruto mumbled, a blush covering his cheeks as he gazed down at me, though he didn't seem too disappointed about it. And, not surprisingly, neither was I.
.:.:.:.:.
"Take care of my boys," Tsunade whispered to me again when she hugged me goodbye. "I'm glad they found you." I smiled up at the caring woman and lifted Konohamaru. His little hands clung to my coat and he smiled at his Godmother as she kissed his cheek. I looked over at the handsome blond and was met with a smile. We said our goodbyes, left the warm house and headed to the car.
They stood on the porch and watched us go, waving until they were out of sight. I had longed for that kind of family when I was younger. I watched while other kids were loved by those around them, and I envied the kids who complained about curfews, rules, groundings and unreasonable cell phone rules. I wanted to scream at those who seemed so ungrateful for what they had. I would've given my soul for that. I wanted to scream at them, make them see that life could be so much worse. That they could've been in my shoes, being paid for pretend love. And now it seemed as if I'd been accepted into the type of family I had envied.
I glanced into the backseat. Konohamaru was asleep, a smile on his lips. I sighed with contentment. I wanted to open up. I needed to. He had told me his story. I wanted to tell him mine. I knew, like all the others, that he was curious about where I'd come from and how I had ended up where I did. So I took a deep breath and opened my mouth.
"My mother was my world." I saw Naruto glance at me but I stared straight ahead, watching the snow hit the windshield. "My father was always cold to us children. I don't think it was on purpose. He was always busy with work. He'd come home from work and immediately closed himself in his study. But my mother… She always had time for us. My sister, brother and I. I was the youngest, the baby, so she doted on me. She would never turn us away like father would. If we talked, she would listen earnestly and eagerly. She spent hours teaching me how to cook, sew, and read. She knew how to do everything and she wanted to teach me all she knew. She was amazing. I can't remember a time she was cross at us, though I'm sure there were times that she was, but I can't recall anything but her smiling face… Her warm arms were always open for us to jump into. When I was on the streets… just thinking of her could warm me, make me keep going when I felt as though I were about to die.
"Though father rarely made time for us kids, he would dote on my mother. Nothing was too good for her. His eyes would soften just by looking at her, his voice would become a loving whisper. I remember being jealous of that. I remember thinking why he couldn't love us like that." My hands clasped together tightly. "So, when she died… He was crushed, obliterated… and a monster was left in his place."
I took a deep breath and stared at my white knuckles. "I was at home sick when she was killed… Father told me over and over how it was my fault. If I hadn't been sick, she would never have left for medicine, she never would've been in that store, she would've never been murdered. It was my fault she was gone. He screamed those words in my face over and over as soon as the shock wore off. He resented all of us kids. Tamari ignored it the best she could, Kankuro refused to take it to heart and I… I was devastated. I believed him. It was my fault. If I had just gone to school she would still be with us. Father began to drink and the monster was born. The three of us were just children, we couldn't fight off a fully grown man. With regularity we were beaten for the littlest things. I got the worst of it, though, my siblings tried their best to save me. But we were kids. Kids. I ran away a few months before I turned fourteen. I had put up with it for almost four years, but I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want Tamari or Kankuro to hate me for killing mom. I had to get away. If I were gone, the hate in father would die… They would be safe. That's what I believed anyway. I hopped on the first train out of there and let it carry me here.
"The money that used to just pour out of my mom's purse reached its end quickly and didn't refill like I'd remembered it used to. It ran out in less than a month. I tried staying at shelters but all wanted to contact my father and I couldn't just tell them what he'd done to me when I believed that I was a murderer. So they were ruled out rather quickly. People always approached me and each time I had to run away. They couldn't make me go back. Within two months I understood that I had to make the money reappear in my mother's wallet myself. And the woman approached me… My first sexual encounter… I was a child. A sheltered one at that. I didn't know anything about sex or the value of a dollar, but I caught on quickly."
"I died a little with each touch… And I felt I deserved everything I got. I felt it was my punishment for the death on my hands." I knew I couldn't go on. Even if I had wanted to, I knew I could never tell him about all the things I'd went through. A strong warm hand grabbed mine, making me release the breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "I'm not sorry, though," I whispered, brushing my lips against the back of his hand. "We all have to go through something in our lives. I feel no different from anyone else anymore. It wasn't my fault. She died by someone else's hands. It took a long time, but I finally realized that… After I met you."
Naruto pulled up to a red light and leaned in to kiss me. "You are strong person. You are amazing," he whispered against my lips. I took a deep breath and smiled. "Thank you for telling me." The ride home was a silent one after that and I felt more at peace now that I'd gotten that off my chest. I'd never trusted anyone enough to tell them anything about my past, but with Naruto I felt a peace I never knew existed. And life looked brighter than it ever had before.
So, this chapter introduces Sai. I love Sai. He's kind of important in Gaara's life in this story. Or was anyway. It seems like nothing too major was accomplished in this chapter though, and I'm kinda sorry about that, but that's how it goes. Hahaha! The next chapter is almost done, so no more super long breaks I suppose. Anyway. Hope you like the chapter, loves.
Review please.