Authors note: SORRY. I noticed I haven't updated fanfiction since I am also posting this on my archive page. So I've got a couple chapters for you to catch up with my posting elsewhere. I do hope you enjoy and I love getting your guy's comments. Thanks!
Jim was laughing laying on his bed. Not the stilled or forced laugh he usually did. It wasn't fake or sarcastic. It wasn't cruel. He just laughed, feeling maybe not peaceful, but for an utter moment he was okay. Sam was next to him, joking about Mr. Andrews and then about Johnny. They did impressions of the Admirals that were on the holos. Then after a few moments of comfortable, safe, silence, Sam turned to him, serious, and said, "I love Tevik, you know. I love him."
Jim couldn't breath, his chest squeezed tight. "What?" He breathed out, trying to calm his facial expression. It didn't matter, he was too young to fall in love. He shouldn't feel so desperate. He was happy for Sam. He really was, the crushing, suffocating feeling in his chest was normal. He knew he was nothing, not next to Sam, Sam who was good and honest and kind. Tevik would never see him that way. Tevik who was beautiful, intelligent and patient. Tevik who was compassionate and understanding, who always saw goodness.
Jim watched from the porch of the farmhouse as Sam waved, Tevik nodded and together they drove their dad's car down the road, getting smaller way too fast. "Wait! Sam! Sam! Tevik! It's okay! Don't leave me! Please don't leave! I promise I'll stop feeling. It's okay, don't go!" He ran and ran, but they had already disappeared. He was alone, the tears poured down his dirty face. The heat beat down on him, making the smell of rotting, searing flesh heighten. He wanted to throw up, he needed to eat something. His clothes were too big, dirty, he smelt like death, rot and blood, it stained his skin, his hair, he needed a bath. He knew it would never leave.
He froze as a hand lowered on his shoulder. A familiar voice said, "I told you, boy. I told you, you'd never leave. You're nothing. You're no one."
Jim bolted up, a scream lodged in his throat. His body was drenched in sweat and he tried to catch his breath. Wiping his face, he took off his shirt and made his way to the shared showers. Mitchel was there, they both were the worse ones at not sleeping. He sleepily nodded to him and Jim nodded back, not looking. He debated going back to his room but he hated this time of night. He needed a damn shower. Not looking at Mitchel, he undressed and turned on the water head. Hating sonic showers, he had made sure there was at least six water showers. Everyone approved gladly. He sighed, finally relaxing, albeit, only slightly.
Jim couldn't help but stay alert. It was now a habit he tried, with Jenna's help, to break but it was proving difficult. He was suspicious of everyone. He had taken down Blake just three months ago and now that could happen to him. Mitchel's movements distracted him from time to time. He wanted to keep an eye on him, it's what he normally did with people. But naked, that was crossing a line. It's not that Mitchel would even mind, the boy could walk around the whole ship naked and not mind.
It was that Jim wanted to watch him and he hated that. He cringed at where his thoughts were going. Then he flinched as he felt Tevik distantly. Tevik was concentrating, as usual, but this was different. Jim could see the Vulcan text going through his bondmate's head. This was becoming less common but there were times when he'd see through Tevik's eyes, see his face in a mirror or his family, the world of Vulcan. Now, what Tevik was concentrating on was an old text on breaking bonds. Fury flooded through him. He hated that Vulcan. Clenching his jaw, he snapped the warm water off and shoved his sweats on. Without a word to Mitchel, he stomped out of the room, still dripping wet.
Jenna frowned at him and he was ready to snap at her. Before he could, she spoke, her voice, while not loud had an edge to it that Jim admired. "You've grown three inches Jim! You've got more muscle than you had six months ago. Welcome to being fifteen! Now put those on!" Jim took a deep breath and decided to choose his battles. Jenna had stolen them all clothes, she could have bought them, the last six months had gone well for all of them, credit wise. Now, it was habit, it was adrenaline, a way of life. Micheal and Mitch looked more alike than ever, broad and fit, each had scruff that Jim admired. Although, everyone was going to be able to tell them apart soon, Mitchel was growing his hair out, while Micheal liked his almost buzzed short. That and Michael had another watch, a gift from Mitch. Jim was the only one who knew that it came from his last victim. He now wore one on each wrist.
Jim put on his new clothes and then stood in front of the mirror, surprised. He hadn't realized how much he had changed. His body was fit, his shoulders broad, his face was angular, not from being underfed but merely growth. He had grown swiftly, already at five feet seven inches. Jim felt his cheeks but was disappointed, he was still smooth, it'd be at least another year before he got to start shaving, though he was getting a fine blonde layer of hair everywhere else.
He went back to his audience and raised his arms. Micheal smiled and Mitch whistled, "Now, aren't you looking sexy. If I shot that way, I would so be hitting on you." Jim snorted, replying, "I would so be kicking your ass if you ever did." Mitch laughed and then said, "Nah, I wouldn't. If I did go that way, there's only one guy I could do it with." Jenna looked disgustingly over at him. Since they were dating, she had that right. "Who the hell would you be with?" Mitch grinned wildly at her and said, "Who do you think? The most handsome man here." He put an arm around Micheal and then they all got it, Micheal burst out laugh. An extremely real laugh that shocked everyone and led each of them to follow. "You're such a fucking conceited person!" "Just think about Micheal! It'd be awesome! It'd be like-like we were with ourselves." That earned him another round of laughter. Micheal playfully pushed him away.
Jim spent most of his days making sure everyone was doing their jobs, checking up on the maintenance of the ship, and absorbing himself in creating. He drew out plans, upon plans. New designs for better phasers, warp speed devices, missiles, force fields and more. He wondered if he could making a transporter that could be used off landing pads. He encourage the whole crew to invent as well, only his few friends were brilliant enough to succeed, however. The others either were too traumatized to even try, or too simple in their plans.
It was when he was celebrating his new phaser, in late November, that he felt the hit. The whole ship rattled and he almost fell. Heart pounding, he bolted to the bridge, falling when they got slammed by more missiles. Alarms were sounding, Xen and Jeffery looked panicked. "Captain, we've got a Romulan ship taking fire on us. Shields are at twenty-two percent."
He nodded and called out, "Bring them up on screen." On the screen, appeared a Romulan captain. He didn't hide his surprise when he saw their crew. Jim clenched down his terror. He looked just like Lyras, they all did. Vulcans and Romulans were cousins and all of them looked alike. He thought of those hands, of what Romulans were capable of, and he wanted blood for what they were doing to his ship. "Hello! I'm Captain Brayton Sar. Gentlemen, what can I do you for?" Jim called out cheerfully, surprising everyone.
Xen looked back at him from the navigators position. Jim ignored his horrified expression. The Romulan grinned and said, "I was not aware of earth letting it's youngsters run ships by themselves. Fascinating. My name is Captain Karas and I believe you have something that belongs to us." Jim found that surprising, while they had passed Romulans on other planets, he kept well away from them. "I believe you are mistaken there, Karas. We have nothing that is Romulan in nature." Karas tilted his head and Jim tensed even more at the familiar gesture.
"You are a salvage ship. A looting ship. I know of your reputation and I know I am correct in my knowledge. You took a chip from one of my old crewmen. On it held valuable data to the Empire. I want it back. Now. You will either surrender it peacefully, or we will board your ship and you will not like the consequences. You have five minutes." The screen went out, Jim caught sight of their ship, three times their size. He clenched his jaw. While he had told his crew to stay away from Romulans and Vulcans, it also seemed like the thing one of them would do.
And he knew exactly who took it.
Bolting from the bridge down to engineering. He only came to a halt when he witnessed the damage the ship had taken. Their ship was small, an older model and since they barely stopped at Star Bases, they tended to run out the engine often. But this would take weeks to fix. Steam was coming out of several pipes, people were hurt from falling, and getting hit by debris. Their small rec room was barricaded with security doors, it had taken a direct hit and he knew he lost at least three people.
He told everyone to look after each other, they didn't have a proper sickbay but everyone on board knew about injuries. Everyone knew how to take care of themselves. Stepping up to the older man, Jim didn't hesitate, he slammed his fist right into Mitchel's jaw. Mitch went down hard but snapped back up, only being held back by Micheal who looked shocked.
"You took the chip from a Romulan captain! Why the fuck would you endanger the ship by doing such a idiotic thing?" He almost shouted. Mitchel, he could tell, wanted to yell back but after a few seconds he sneered, "Just because your scared shitless of them, doesn't mean everyone else is. It's a good score." "Oh, it is, is it?" He spread his arms out, indicating the damage, the people bandaging each other up, before going back to work, most still staring at them. "It's worth it, huh?" Jim snorted, and then shook his head. He turned, knowing he had to protect his crew and Mitchel as well, spoke fast coming up with a plan on the spot, his mind racing, tripping over his own thoughts.
Mitchel didn't like it. No one did. It was their only option however and most of it depended on Jenna and Westin's ability to install Jim's hardware. "We can do this. Timing is everything, however. Is everyone ready?" He asked as they hurriedly made their way to the transport station. Mitchel looked furious, Micheal's eyes barely strayed from his watch and he was as fidgety as Jim felt. Jim wasn't ready, he was scared.
Taking a deep breath, Mitch rolled his eyes and said, "I'll be back before you can miss me. Stop looking like at." He eyed his brother, Micheal silently nodded. Jim knew the feeling. He wanted to throw up, Mitch had no idea what telepathic Romulans could do. They didn't need knifes or extra strength to hurt someone. He hugged Micheal, gave Jenna a slap on the ass, winked at her angry expression, then kissed her passionately. "Let's get this show on the road."
Jim went to the control terminal to beam him to the other ship, Mitch then said, "Oh, and Jim, if you don't come and get me, when I get free, I'm gonna kill you." It was said in such a serious tone, Jim actually smiled.
They were on a time-line from then onwards. The Romulan ship warped away but Mitch did his job and secured the tracking device Jim had created a three weeks ago. Now Jenna, Westin and Xen worked together to install his latest device, hopefully, it wouldn't blow them up. If they got all their necessary repairs done, they'd catch up to Mitch in less than two hours. He had all the crew armed, he handed out his new translucent visors, capable of environmental control, night vision and it translated languages in the ear piece. It was perfect for going on board a foreign ship.
It was two and a half hours before Jim, impatiently, barked out the order to go to warp seven. The ship shuddered under such speed and Jim clutched onto the back of Jeffery's chair. Luckily, it held together and they were racing across space. Everyone hollered and grinned. It fed their energy.
Jim spent the rest of his time, wiring the consul for a unique transport. He needed to get onto the Romulan ship, even with their shields up. The minutes were excruciating, especially since he was still learning the true inner workings of wiring it, from Mitchel. He sighed as he heard the humming start up. Just seconds later, Sara was behind him, looking jumpy but alert. "We're here, we're coming up on them. Hendrix put up the cloaking device Mitchel's been working on, it's holding but it might give out any minute."
They were ready and as Xen called out that they were on the tail of the Romulan ship, Jim walked onto the transport station, and with Jenna and Micheal at his side, said, "Let's hope we don't die." Micheal was smiling as Sara pressed the buttons and the world evaporated into whiteness.
"I've got it. I've got it." Jim snapped in a whispered breath. His hands were shaking trying to tie wires together, his heart hammering and Mitchel had been right to tell him he was scared of Romulans. Damn straight, he was terrified. Jenna, impatiently, pushed him back and the three of them ran through the strange layout of the large vessel. They were all ready now. Jim had hacked into the system with ease, Tevik having helping all those years ago, teaching him about Vulcan based starships. They weren't that different from their cousins.
"Move, move." He said quietly, they split up, Micheal headed to engineering and Jenna and him to the brig. They heard Mitchel before they saw him. His screams echoed down the hall. Jim ran and before he could think about it, he ran into the room and fired. The Vulcan fell- Romulan- Jim corrected himself, standing above the body. Breathing rapidly, he was frozen, starring at the woman he killed, her green blood flowed out of the hole where he heart used to be. He didn't notice Jenna get Mitchel up, didn't notice they were moving. Mitch, sweating and trembling. "Jim!" He jumped and shook himself. They ran.
The explosion came quickly, before Jim intended. They rocked into the wall, the alert system went off and picking up their pace they ran down the corridors, shooting at the few Romulans they ran into. Micheal barrelled into him accidentally, as they rounded a sharp corner. They barely stopped themselves from firing on instinct. "It's done! We need to get the hell off this ship." Jim was in the front, they had almost made it to their exit point when Karas stepped in front of them. Jim spread his arms wide, stopping his friends. Karas' face was full of rage and disbelief. "How dare you attack my ship! I left yours in peace! That," Karas pointed a finger at Mitchel, "young man had not only our chip but also plans on selling The Empire's codes and security documents to the highest bidder. He has made copies. You have no idea, his mind, how dark it has strayed. Leave him here, we will allow the others to leave. He will be taken to the Empire and endure punishment for this atrocious act of yours."
Jim for the first time in a long while, stilled. He knew Mitchel was trigger first, questions later. He knew that Mitchel stealing this chip was the start of not listening to his orders. The start of Mitchel as something new, someone who wouldn't bow down. Jim would have loved that just months ago. The image of the dead Romulan woman came to mind and Jim's face hardened, "Sorry Karas. I can't let you do that." "Sar, that wasn't a choice, that was an order."
The fight broke out immediately. Jim froze as Mitchel looking deranged tried to take the captain on hand to hand. They barrelled into the wall, Karas was caught off gaurd, surprised, but it didn't take long for him to catch himself. He quickly reached out a hand to Mitchel's skin, reducing Mitch to screams before he fell unconscious. Jenna went at Karas with two daggers in her hands. She managed to slice at his face before Karas grabbed and broke her wrist before swiftly backhanding her. Micheal was the one who fired when Jenna was knocked sideways. It took longer than Jim thought possible, Romulans were incredibly hard to kill.
Jim stood frozen watching the scene unfold. He counted the shots until Micheal fired thirteen times and only stopped when the phaser jammed. Jim and Micheal helped carry Mitch; Jenna limped after them, her wrist cradled to her bruised side from where she landed. Sara beamed them up and Jim sighed in relief as they materialized.
Everything from then on happened fast. Xen helped Micheal carry Mitch the rest of the way and Sara tended to Jenna. Hendrix was the one to race with Jim back to the bridge as Jim called out orders. He stood, a mere two minutes later, calling out, "Fire all missiles." The already damaged ship, with shields down to a pathetic three percent, rapidly gave under the attack. Although the Romulan ship was larger, more equipped and advanced, they watched as it slowly blasted apart with each fire and Jim felt triumph. For a minute, he smelt rotting flesh and his stomach turned. Looking the the wreck he called out, "Stop!" Everyone immediately looked at him. Heart racing, he slowly, very slowly swallowed and tried to straighten his thoughts. Tevik was in his head, Tevik was here, now, not consenting. He could feel the Vulcan's shock as he witnessed everything, he could feel it grate at his mind. He could hear his mate's thoughts and he winced. He hated that Tevik could feel everything he was feeling, that little bubble that still wanted Tevik to tell him to go back to Vulcan. Jim longer trusted him, but he hated the fact that he lost him, lost a part of Sam along with Tevik. Tevik tried his best to pull back at that little, unhidden thought.
Furiously, Jim;s eyes snapped open and everyone tensed and he said, "Leave them. They're damaged almost beyond repair. Let fate have them now, if they make it back to the Empire, they'll know that we did that. Us, kids, destroyed a Romulan vessel and if they don't," Jim shrugged smiling back at Alex, "Well, then they don't." Everyone relaxed and Jim ordered them into warp, leaving the Romulan ship to sit and wait for salvation or death.
That night he debated over and over, if what he did was worse or better than destroying it completely. He tried to convince himself he was merciful. He tried to think that Romulan space wasn't too far off, even for a damaged ship. Then he thought of Tevik, was he only merciful because Tevik was watching, listening, judging? Perhaps. Perhaps, he wanted to be the Jim that Tevik forgave, that Tevik tried to pushed up all the time. But Tevik had never really, truly, respected him, he knew that with a certainty. Tevik never saw any real potential in him. Jim behaviour had kept him from considering it, he was too illogical, too...harsh in his actions. He winced as his mind turned against him.
He had been cruel to leave them like that. Even with Mitchel still shaking, not able to speak yet, he still should have just finished them off. He could be certain that they died quickly and that was a merciful action in itself. They wouldn't starve. He winced and as a headache started, he groaned and curled onto his side, praying for at least an hour of sleep.
He ignored the nightmares of Vulcans and Romulans that plagued him over the coming nights. Ignored Tevik, whose presence made him twitch every time he dared glance at Mitch. And he did his best to ignore Mitch as much as possible.
The next two months were much more routine and less eventful. They became more accustomed to battles, stealing different weapons and soon began customizing the ship. It wasn't until early February that they found a huge surprise. They had docked on a federation planet, Xen, Jeffery and Hendrix had taken off 'shopping' for parts for the ship. Sara and Jenna were avoiding all of the guys and with Alex, Sabina, Quil and Fiona in toe, having a girls night. Though, it was debatable whether Quil was female or male, her species tended to generally be a third gender.
Jim sat, slowly drinking a bottle of Andorian whiskey. He loved alcohol. He loved the different tastes, the burn at the end. He found out quickly, although, he was allergic to most kinds and now carried several hypos with him, just in case. He never did drink enough to fully get drunk, always thinking about the Pits and his blackout. He looked up, in a perfect position to observe the sleazy dive bar, as Micheal and Mitch walked in.
Jim nodded and them and then narrowed his eyes. Micheal was pale, Mitch looked visibly shaken and he usually didn't allow any emotions to show nowadays. Jim swiftly glanced around the bar and them out the dirty windows. A short girl stood across the street, a little away from a school shuttle, she looked like a school girl, harmless, but Jim knew you could never be fully sure. Other people walked this way and that. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The girl was then joined by her friends and Jim allowed himself to relax.
Mitch and Micheal sat down opposite him and started speaking. "Our mother contacted us." Jim stilled, his whole body tensing. Jim knew that his crew generally didn't contact their families, most, didn't have any left. But a few, just a few of them, still had a relative or two. Jim allowed them to comm whoever, he had installed a system in all of their PADD's and comm units to alert him to key words. He knew only Sabina, Jeffery and Micheal talked to family members. Sabina, he didn't generally care about, her conversations ran the longest and most frequent, but her family were also criminals and nothing she said would ever be used against any of them. Her aunt had even found them a buyer for some of things. Jeffery, he kept a strict eye on, he was extremely vulnerable, especially since his friends Westin and Val died in the Romulan attack.
Micheal on the other hand, only spoke to his mother to tell her they were still alive. Most of the time, when Jim went over the recordings, he turned them off, disturbed by Micheal's silence and his mother trying to fill it by talking about Millie. Millie, the little sister that Jim never met, that both brothers had left behind a year and a half ago. "Why?" Jim asked, feeling dread coil in his stomach. Micheal starred at his watch as Mitch said, "She's contacted Jarvis Mavs. It won't be long until she's gone and Millie's only..." Mitch paused trying to think and then Jim saw a glimpse of sadness before it disappeared, "She's almost sixteen. She's not like us. She can't really take care of herself yet."
Jim frowned and said, dreading the answer that he knew was coming, "What do you want me to do about it? You know what kind of ship we run. You know I can't take care of little kids." Jim inwardly winced at that but continued, "Do you two want to leave or something?"
Jim could see Mitch's eyes harden and he said, "No," so firmly, Jim slowly took a sip of his drink. "I want her to come aboard and actually get trained. She'd be great. I'd take full responsibility for her."
Jim raised his brows, not liking this at all.
Micheal didn't look up.